Posts Tagged ‘talking about stuttering’
Episode 100 features Tamara Nunes, who hails from Maryland, via Brazil. She works in the disability field. Tamara was the very first guest on this podcast back in May 2010.
We discuss acceptance and confidence, communicating at work, and speech therapy experiences. Tamara discusses being close to the University of Maryland, where Vivian Sisskin works, who was featured in episode 81, talking about her avoidance reduction therapy.
We talk a little about the shared experience we had working with people with developmental disabilities who also stutter. And we talk about the value of hearing other people’s stories, the National Stuttering Association, and the empowering feeling that comes from “climbing over that wall.”
We also talk about the contestant currently on American Idol who stutters. Tamara remembers being told when she was younger to sing her words instead of talking.
I am proud to have reached this milestone 100th episode, and was so happy to have caught up with Tamara. Please feel free to leave comments for either of us. Remember, feedback is a gift.
The podcast safe music used in this episode is credited to ccMixter.
Hey, You Can’t Say You Stutter
Posted on: January 9, 2013
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Last night at my Toastmasters meeting, we were all asked to introduce ourselves and tell each other what Toastmasters has done for us. Guests or new members were asked to share how they hoped to benefit from joining Toastmasters.
Two people who spoke before me both used the word “stutter” in their introductions.
A veteran of the club said Toastmasters has helped him be more confident and effective, and not bumble and stutter with words.
A newer member said she hopes to learn to not stutter when she is nervous and to not panic as much when she does any public speaking.
This made me bristle! I felt like saying to them, “Hey, you don’t stutter! You don’t know what it’s really like to know what you want to say and have your speech disrupted or blocked.”
I felt offended that they used the word stutter so casually, when to me stuttering is so personal and has significantly shaped who I am today. I wanted to correct them, to educate them, to defend all stutterers who really stutter.
But I didn’t! It wasn’t the time or place. People weren’t there to learn about stuttering. They were at a Toastmasters meeting, where we all come to get better at communication and leadership.
I kept my bristly thoughts to myself. Maybe I need to do a speech soon on what stuttering is and isn’t!
I’m The Guest This Time
Posted on: November 9, 2012
I am proud and delighted to be a guest on my friend Evan Sherman’s blog and podcast that he started recently.
Evan and I have a conversation about involvement in the stuttering community, and the “evolution” of my journey. You can listen to it here.
For purists, you can also access it from this direct link – http://www.istuttersowhat.com/a-discussion-with-pam-mertz/. Evan says it drives more traffic to your site if you provide the actual link.
I am happy with how it came out. Take a listen. You can find out a little more about me and my stuttering journey. I rarely “tell my story” as I am usually asking others to share their story.
Thanks Evan!
Episode 93 features Barbara Dahm, a Board Recognized Specialist in Fluency Disorders, who alternates between New Jersey and Israel. She has been a speech clinician for 40+ years.
Barbara talks about a 17-year old girl she worked with early in her career who had a severe stutter. She talks about trying to find the answer to help people who stutter.
Her present work is rooted in Gestalt therapy. Barbara believes that neurological function and habits cannot be separated from how the mind works. She also thinks that feelings, thoughts and behaviors are all linked together. Traditional therapies seem to overlook that stuttering is a systems problem.
We discuss Barbara’s belief that stuttering is “over control.” She works with people on thinking about speech as automatic and as a natural process. She helps people to try not to be fluent. But the result IS fluency.
“It’s not just that I’m not stuttering, it’s a different experience.” Barbara wants to help people “quiet the editor” in their brains.
This was a great conversation. For more information on Barbara’s work, please see her website, Stuttering Online Therapy. Barbara would love for people to study, research and critique her program.
Feel free to leave comments or questions for Barbara. Feedback is a gift. Music used in this episode is credited to ccMixter.
The River’s Flow – Episode 92
Posted on: October 2, 2012
Episode 92 features Ruth Mead, who hails from Dallas, Texas. Ruth is a writer, and before that she ran a car business.
Ruth started writing when she was 33, and wrote non-stop for 3 months. She reached the point where she had entered “the flow,” meaning that she was just free writing and not having to change anything.
Ruth feels that writing helped improve her speech, as she began to think about this flow. She wasn’t thinking about changing anything when she wrote and she began to realize the same was possible when speaking.
You can read Ruth’s book “Speech Is a River” here, which as you can see, is freely available. You can also read this review of Ruth’s book by Barbara Dahm.
Listen in as we talk about effortless talking, what being “cured” and “transformation” means, holding back, humor and so much more. Ruth gets me talking a little about my feelings growing up thinking my father was ashamed of me.
This was a great conversation. Feel free to leave comments or questions for Ruth or both of us. Feedback is a gift.
Music used in this episode is credited to Dano Songs.
Shared Secrets
Posted on: September 29, 2012
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All of us have secrets – those deep dark thoughts that we keep to ourselves because we are embarrassed or ashamed or we think we’re the only one.
With the rise of the stuttering community, many of us now know that we are not the only one. Maybe our secrets are similar to others who stutter. Maybe we share the same secrets!
For this post, I would really like if you could add your secret about stuttering to the comment section, and I will add it here to the post.
When we share our secrets, we feel less isolated and vulnerable.
I’ll start! Here are a couple of my secrets.
- For a long time, I would never answer my phone. I would always let the voice mail click in, so I could call back and initiate the conversation on my terms, and with words I thought I wouldn’t stutter on.
- Sometimes when I block on a word, I feel like I have disappeared for a moment and no one even notices. That feels so helpless and lonely.
- I once told a person that I went to a different college than I really did because the name of my college just wouldn’t come out that day.
Your turn! Do you have a secret about your stuttering that you’d like to share?
Lisa shared: “I always used to introduce myself as ‘Sarah’ as it was easier to say.”
Healthandheart shared: “I selectively stutter and often feel uncomfortable stuttering in front of other black people sometimes, including my family, depending on who it is.”
Tom shared: “Whenever a friend or colleague asked me to make a phone call, I would always make some excuse, but never say the real reason (that I was afraid to because of my stuttering.”)
Julia shared: “When making a phone call, I sometimes still panic and put the phone down as soon as the person answers. I ring back straight away but old feelings surrounding the phone die hard!”
Annetta shared: “I wanted to change my name from Annetta to Marie because I stutter so much on Annetta. I also had a problem with saying hello on the phone and would have a mini panic attack whenever my phone rings.”
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Make your plans now to check into this years’ International Stuttering Awareness Day (ISAD) on-line conference that starts on October 1 and runs through ISAD, 
October 22,2012.
This is always one of the marquee conferences of the year, because of its unique format. Presenters submit papers or presentations that are available to be read and commented on for three weeks. There are live threaded discussions where you can post a comment or question to an author, where you will get an answer.
There is also a section called “The Prof Is In” where a team of noted professionals and researchers in the field of communication disorders are available for three weeks to answer questions. This is a great way for parents to ask questions from some of the top stuttering specialists in the country, as well as a great way for SLP students to learn.
Many papers are written by consumers as well, meaning that you get a smorgasbord of different perspectives on all different issues of stuttering.
You can find all of this years action, as well as all of the past year’s conferences in archives at The Stuttering Home Page. Do check it out, participate and read a variety of different papers.
Thanks to Judy Kuster for all the work she does to coordinate these annual conferences of the international stuttering community.
Good Life and Stuttering
Posted on: July 14, 2012
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I can’t resist sharing this video of Katherine Preston talking about her journey to finding her voice. I had the pleasure of meeting Katherine in person at a NSA conference and at a FRIENDS convention during the summer of 2010.
Katherine was a guest on my podcast “Women Who Stutter: Our Stories,” in the 25th episode Think With Your Heart in September 2010.
Katherine was interviewed by Jonathan Fields for his Good Life Project. Fields is the author of Uncertainty: Turning Fear and Doubt into Fuel for Brilliance. I read this book last year, within a week or so of it’s release. I highly recommend it for anyone who needs a push outside of their comfort zone.
This is a great interview for two reasons. Katherine stutters with confidence, and Jonathan Fields is a patient and respectful interviewer who found no need to rush the conversation.
This is a must see – whether you stutter or not!
NSA Conference Memorable Moments
Posted on: July 9, 2012
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First open mic session of the conference: a first-time adult stutterer from Mexico gets up and talks about the warmth and emotion he felt so quickly by being with so many people who stutter. His wife got up and shared that she couldn’t have realized how great support feels and burst into tears, with no shame at all.
Workshop: “Inviting Women Who Stutter to the Table” – about 25 women talked about issues unique to women. We discussed claiming our space, strengthening our voice, and how stuttering affects our femininity. Many shared that it was a very powerful workshop, that it’s important for women who stutter to share with women who stutter. Many came up to us suggesting that this be a staple at future conferences.
Presentation: “The Stuttering Monologues” – first time ever trying something new, a story telling performance that included lessons learned, inspiration, humor and dignity. The room was packed, standing room only, until someone finally decided to raise the wall and open another room. People came up to me saying how great it was. It was such a good feeling to see that this worked as well as I had hoped it would. Hope we get to do it again.
First-timer moment: met Kurt from Austria, as he was heading up to his room about 9pm on Tuesday night. I introduced myself and asked him where he was going. He said he didn’t know what to do and how to meet people. We chatted for a while and I suggested he come with me to the hotel lobby and I introduced him around. By Friday’s first-timer luncheon, he looked right at home and shared that he was so glad he had not gone upstairs that night.
First-timer moment – met Ali from Montreal, Canada in person after having only talked over Skype and briefly communicated via Facebook. It seemed like we already knew each other, as we had an instant connection.
Impact moment: seeing Anita from Sweden in person after several years. She told me that she heard from a lot of people that I have made an impact on their lives. That was a shared “cry” moment.
Impact moment: Tracy called me over to show me a picture on her cell phone that she has kept since last year. It is me wearing my tee-shirt that says “I Stutter. Deal With It.” She says she shows people that all the time. Made me feel really good!
Impact moment: had quite a few people come up to me and say “Are you Pam?” I’ve heard your name so much I really wanted to meet you in person.” So humbling to know that a lot of people know me from how “out there” I am.
Impact moment: chatting with the wife of a second-timer who stutters on the hotel veranda Saturday night. We got talking about how much she learned in such a short time. She said, “I never knew how much he really goes through with his speech, because he never told me. Being here has completely opened my eyes. I will be a more patient listener.” She had tears in her eyes.
Workshop: “Using Story Telling to Create a Culture” – participants paired up and shared a personal story with each other. It was so special to see the oldest guy in the room, a stutterer, paired up with the youngest guy in the room, a 14-year-old guy whose brother stutters. These two actively shared stories with each other, and then were seen exchanging contact information with each other.
First-timer moment: meeting Kervin (originally from St. Lucia) in the hallway of the hotel, as he stopped me and asked, “excuse me, what do we do now?” We chatted for a bit and I took him and introduced him to a bunch of people, who I later saw him with throughout the weekend. We touched base every day, and on the last day, he came up to me and told me he knows we are going to be great friends for a long time. We have already emailed each other since being home!
Impact moment: getting the chance to really spend time with Hanan (from Israel) and realize how much we have in common even though we come from different worlds.
First-timer moment: meeting Connie (from Alberta, Canada) who had emailed me a few weeks ago to tell me that she was scared to get up in front of others at an open mic session, but really wanted to do it. We had also talked on the phone before the conference, and talked about what to expect. I was so proud to see her speak with confidence at two open mic sessions.
It’s these little moments that paint the picture of how significant it is to come together in a community of support.
Devil In My Throat – Male Episode 13
Posted on: July 2, 2012
Episode 13 of this series of conversations with men who stutter features Ali Salem, who hails from Montreal, Quebec, Canada via Lebanon and the United Arab Emirates.
Ali is a self-employed web specialist and free-lance photographer. Check out his site Almost a Whisper.
Stuttering has shaped his life in many positive ways, most importantly his appreciation of the little things that we often take for granted.
Listen in as we talk about emotional acceptance and the power of support. Ali gives a shout out to Stutter Social, and we also talk about looking forward to the upcoming National Stuttering Association conference.
Feel free to leave comments for either of us in the comment section. Feedback is a gift.
The podcast safe music used in this episode is credited to ccMixter.
Teachable Moments – Episode 86
Posted on: May 23, 2012
Episode 86 features Emily Gurdian, who hails from New Orleans, LA. Emily is 23 years old and a teacher. She is presently in graduate school at the University of Portland (Oregon) where she is pursuing Educational Leadership.
Listen in as we discuss a range of topics. We talk about teasing, mocking and dumb comments. We discuss being stunned into silence sometimes by hurtful comments about stuttering, and how we deal with it.
Emily also shares about what it is like to be a substitute teacher and constantly having to adapt to new kids.
Emily plans to focus her Master’s research on how stuttering affects a child’s entire academic performance. She chose this topic because it met her professor’s criteria of being interesting and important. And because communication affects every aspect of a child’s learning experience.
Be sure to listen in to this great conversation with a young teacher who is insightful and confident. Feel free to leave feedback for either of us, or let Emily know what a great job she did.
Podcast safe music used in this episode is credited to ccMixter.
What It Feels Like To Be Covert
Posted on: March 22, 2012
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Like a swan . . . . graceful and elegant on the surface, but frantically thrashing and kicking below the surface to keep it looking that way.
Like I fell off a cliff in mid-sentence . . . . and no one even noticed.
Like observing life through a two way mirror . . . . seeing and hearing everything other people are doing and saying, but feeling unable to participate in the conversation.
Like playing a game of hide and seek . . . . and always being terrifed that my hiding place would be discovered.
I gave a talk last week to master level SLP students. I was asked to talk about what it felt like to be covert.
I used some of these examples, and also talked about the shame involved with stuttering and trying to cover it up.
I don’t think the SLP students got it. I don’t think SLP students get enough information on what it’s like to cover up stuttering.
Have you ever tried to cover up your stuttering? How did it feel?
I got some of these examples from some of my friends who share the covert experience. Thank you!
Introductions
Posted on: February 27, 2012
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I have been involved with Toastmasters for almost six years. I love it! It has changed my life and I tell people that all the time, especially new members and those who may be interested in learning more about Toastmasters.
This year, I have been serving as an Area Governor, which means that I lend guidance and support to several clubs. I have to visit each club a couple of times a year and provide support and feedback as needed to help the members and the club grow.
I visited one of my clubs a few evenings ago and had a great experience. Whenever a Toastmaster leader visits a club, we are always asked to speak a few minutes. I noticed there were newer members and at least one guest. I chose to include in my introduction how much Toastmasters has helped me grow in confidence and courage, especially as a person who stutters.
To my amazement, two other people in the group also stutter. After I spoke, everyone else introduced themselves. One young man, a member for only a month, shared that he could relate with me. He said it was good to hear a Toastmaster leader talk about stuttering, as he also stutters.
And then, the guest at the meeting shared that he too stutters. He is from Copenhagen, Denmark and is here for a semester as an exchange student. He stuttered openly and shared that he too was happy to hear a Toastmaster leader openly acknowledge stuttering. He mentioned he had heard about Toastmasters through the McGuire (speech therapy) program he had taken in Denmark.
After the meeting, this young man said he felt comfortable and planned to join Toastmasters and then transfer his membership when he returned home to Denmark.
This made a great impact on me that night. I wondered if I had not shared about my stuttering in my introduction, would these two young men have shared? Maybe, maybe not. They might have felt no one could understand and might have felt they needed to keep it hidden.
I felt inspired that my choice to share personal information about my stuttering might have inspired those two young men to feel comfortable enough to disclose.
And what are the odds that 3 people who stutter would end up at the same Toastmasters meeting, totally unaware of the coincidence? Something tells me we were supposed to be there that evening to encourage and inspire each other!
What do you think?
Make Room For The Stuttering 
What people are saying!