Posts Tagged ‘covert stuttering’
Showing Up – Episode 266
Posted on: April 1, 2024
Episode 266 features Jolie Keenan, who is an infectious disease physician who hails from Washington State. She grew up in the Philippines and moved to the USA after completing her medical training. She has two young daughters.
Jolie shares how listening to this podcast helped her get through a lot of dark moments about her stuttering, when she feared she would be judged as “less than” or incompetent. She shares that during residency she felt a lot of pressure to appear fluent. To this day, she does not disclose that she stutters, but rather overprepares for presentations and grand rounds.
She has learned that she does have value to offer the world, and growing more confident leads to her stuttering less. She talks about the importance of building up a bank of positive speaking experiences, to draw upon during the times when she feels embarrassed or looked down upon.
Jolie believes it’s possible to change your thoughts about stuttering, from “I can’t” to “so what, I just stutter.”
A Full Heart – Episode 265
Posted on: March 25, 2024
Episode 265 Features Stacey Dedering, who hails from San Jose, California. Stacey is the proud mom to 17 year old twins and works as a HR Generalist in the education industry. She also volunteers with her local Food Bank, takes leadership roles and will soon celebrate 4 years of volunteerism.
Listen in to a wonderful conversation where we discuss how Stacey has come to love doing presentations after many years of shying away from that. We also talk about whether we consider stuttering to be a disability, accommodations that can be made for stuttering, covert stuttering and the stigma that is still associated with stuttering.
We also talked about the safety created in the monthly “NSA Women Connect” which has become a sacred space exclusively for women who stutter.
Stacey is hoping to attend her first National Stuttering Association conference this summer, and we have already vowed to give each other big bear hugs.
Take That Leap – Episode 262
Posted on: October 23, 2023
Episode 262 features Devin, who hails from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Devin is a nanny/house manager for a family with two kids, ages 11 and 12. She has worked in the child care field for about 12 years.
Devin attended her first National Stuttering Association conference this past summer, after learning about it from a SLP who stutters that she had seen for two years over Zoom. She had not met other people in person who stutter until attending the conference. She’s been covert most of her life.
Listen in as we discuss the power of disclosure, ownership and increased confidence. Devin also shares that she didn’t know how much she needed friends who stutter until she met so many people that stutter. She also talked about the experience of speaking at an open mic, and the impact of the women who stutter workshop. She felt buoyed by the “female energy” and thinks there should be a women’s workshop once each day during the conference.
Thank you for such a wonderful conversation, Devin!
Episode 261 features Mandy Rodstrum, who hails from Columbus, Ohio. Mandy is a wife, mother, and school based Speech Language Pathologist. She has worked as a SLP for 19 years.
Mandy originally thought she was going to be a music teacher. She considers music “her first language.” After taking an elective course in speech and hearing science, she realized she was meant to be a SLP.
Listen in as Mandy talks about the “distant relationship” she had with her stutter. As a SLP, she had been taught “fluency enhancing” therapy only, which solidified her own covert stuttering. She eventually realized she wanted to become more of a counselor rather than a “fixer.”
I met Mandy at her first National Stuttering Association conference this summer, which was a life changing experience for her. She also went to the Friends conference, both helping her see that she was enough and worthy, and that it was exciting to experience new calmness, confidence and curiosity.
Mandy shares that she has always been “Amanda” professionally, because she didn’t stutter when introducing herself as “Amanda.” She has said goodbye to “Amanda,” thanked her for her service and has welcomed “Mandy,” who is ready to be, and stay, in the drivers seat.
I’m Finally Home – Episode 260
Posted on: August 14, 2023
Episode 260 features Sara Ayala, who hails from Houston, Texas. Sara is a Montessori teacher working with infants and toddlers. She is a member of the Houston Chapter of the NSA and recently attended her first National Stuttering Association conference.
Listen in as we discuss how freeing it felt for Sara to meet so many other people who stutter and how she immediately felt “she was home.” We also talked about how everything happens for a reason and unfolds the way it should.
Sara shares that for so long she had been operating from a state of fear and had been in hiding. She now feels she can own it, and even sees stuttering as an art form. Since returning from the conference, Sara has been socializing more than she ever has and has been trying to “reprogram her mind,” that she is young and it is OK for her to go out, socialize and have fun.
Sara says: “We live life based on what others think or say. If we can ignore that and just focus on living life, you’ll fall more in love with yourself.”
Episode 256 features Mide Oyindamola, PharmD, RPH, who hails from Palestine, Texas, by way of South Carolina and Nigeria. Mide works as a hospital pharmacist.
Listen in as we discuss how Mide came to choose pharmacy as her career. We also discuss covert stuttering, and what happened when Mide lost the ability to be covert.
She says it felt like a midlife crisis, even though she was only in her 20’s. Her stuttering frequency and severity increased seemingly overnight, and she also felt like she had “started to stutter for the first time.”
We talk about her positive therapy experience and finding support through the National Stuttering Association. And we wrap up with discussing how being vulnerable invites others to do the same, which helps build relationships.
Listen for how the title of this episode was chosen!
Episode 254 features Dr. Tracey Wallace, who hails from Brandywine, Maryland. Tracey is an educational audiologist for the Washington, DC public schools. She also works with her husband as an entrepreneur, with an event venue that they are growing.
Tracey spent more than half of her life managing the stress of trying to survive as a covert stutterer. She describes walking into stuttering moments, panicking, and falling apart.
One such moment led to a “rock bottom” experience as an audiologist. That lead to her finding and attending her first NSA chapter meeting (then known as the NSP) and later meeting a SLP who offered a non-traditional form of speech therapy, known as avoidance reduction. Listen as Tracey describes how this changed her life.
We also discuss stuttering and deafness, ASL, the costs of concealment, and “false fluency.”
Thank you Tracey for such a meaningful conversation.
Her Evolution – Episode 253
Posted on: January 30, 2023
Episode 253 features Elizabeth Escobar, who hails from Germantown, Maryland. Elizabeth is a busy mom and student, who speaks and stutters in three languages: English, Spanish and Arabic.
Elizabeth is studying International Studies with a minor in Information Technology. She likes advocacy work and understanding the socioeconomic statuses of other countries.
Listen in as we delve into adaptability, resilience and evolution. Elizabeth is learning how to take her power back. She doesn’t want to feel bad anymore about stuttering and wants to release herself from bad memories. She doesn’t want to go by her nicknames anymore – she wants to be vociferous and loudly proclaim “My Name is Elizabeth.”
We also talk about understanding self-sabotage and the strength it takes to enter into therapy.
Remember Elizabeth’s name. She’s going places!
I Was Ready – Episode 252
Posted on: January 2, 2023
Episode 252 features Callie Brazil, who hails from Irvine, California. Callie is the Director of Digital Marketing and Storytelling at UCLA Law School. Her focus is on social media storytelling and brand journalism.
Callie shares her story of how many doors open when one door closes. And this is not cliché at all!
Callie thought she was going to be a lawyer, but now realizes she is in the right place at the right time. She talks about endless speech therapy that was “fluency first” focused. There were times when she felt she had failed, so wanted to silence her voice. She started ASL classes to communicate.
Callie reached a point when she was truly ready for resources and support. Her life changed when her amazing SLP (shout out Loryn!) told her it was OK to stutter, something no one had ever told Callie. And be sure to listen closely as Callie talks about one special conversation with her grandmother.
Listen in to a great story that wraps up the 12th year of sharing powerful stories from and about women who stutter.
My Second Family – Episode 248
Posted on: July 22, 2022
Episode 248 features Lindsey Lambert, who hails from Kansas City, Missouri. Lindsey is in her 30’s and is an R.N. working as an assistant nurse manager on the oncology floor at a VA Hospital.
Lindsey recently attend her first National Stuttering Association conference, which she describes as finding the family you didn’t know you had.
Listen in as we talk about Lindsey’s experiences with avoidance and being covert. She says she practiced a lot of avoidance for a really long time. She was tired of walking through life not being who she was. She is still working on her journey to acceptance.
Lindsey’s conference takeaways include: she found empowerment in getting out of her negative mindset. She discovered overwhelming love and support, and the deep conversations with others who stutter to be so freeing. She challenged herself to maintain eye contact, and she did.
Lindsey wants to heal. I’d say her first conference experience and all the people she met puts her well on the path to that healing.
Open Doors – Episode 245
Posted on: February 10, 2022
Episode 245 features Caitlin Franchini, who hails from Atlanta, Georgia. Caitlin is a second year graduate student studying speech language pathology. She is currently participating in an externship with high school students and loves it. Caitlin is also a self professed foodie – she loves cooking and baking.
Listen in as we discuss all things stuttering. We talk about the changing relationships we have with our stutter, the journey to self confidence and acceptance and Caitlin’s own experiences with speech therapy.
Caitlin is new to the stuttering community and has gone from thinking she was the only who stuttered to realizing there is a huge network of support out there. We talk about disclosure and the importance of validating our identity as a woman who stutters.
Caitlin had the opportunity to work as a counselor at Camp Say last summer. It was a wonderful experience. “I thought I was going to change lives, but my life was changed.” Those epiphany moments are the best.
** Host note: As I listened back to this episode, I was stunned at the number of times I used filler words such as “uhm” and “you know.” I was in Toastmasters for many years and had worked specifically on recognizing and reducing filler words. For a long time, filler words were “run-ups” to words that I thought I was going to stutter on. An old avoidance tactic. Does anybody else find this creeping back in? **
Missing My Stuttering Friends
Posted on: July 7, 2021
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This year is the first time in 15 years that I have not attended the annual NSA conference. I found the NSA in 2006 and have gone 15 consecutive times. I see friends posting pictures on social media and I’m finding that I am fiercely missing the conference and my friends. Some of those friends I only see once a year, but it’s OK, as we pick up right where we left off.
For so long, I felt shame and fear about stuttering, thinking as many of us do, that I was the only one who stutters. It was never discussed in my family, so the feelings of shame, guilt, and fear kept me in hiding for a long time.
When I attended my first conference in 2006, it was like a weight had been lifted off my chest. There were other people and all looked normal, like me. We just talked differently. That profound experience helped me realize that I could now help people deal with shame and coming out of hiding.
This blog and my podcast gives me joy. I’m using my experience to help someone else peel that personal stigma off.
Friend Hanan has more than once told me that finding others who stutter has been like oxygen for him.
That and finding our tribe – where we can stutter openly with no fear of judgment. I am really missing my tribe, my friends, my mentors.
I am having surgery on my right hand this Friday, so I may not be able to type or text for a while. I needed to post this today. I love seeing the pictures friends are posting on social media, but it is also bittersweet.
Challenge? Yes Please – Episode 235
Posted on: May 3, 2021
Episode 235 features Lesley Brownlow, who hails from Liverpool, England, UK. Lesley works in a council-run Adult Education service, which she describes as very busy, stressful and productive. She says in a way, her career “chose her.” She wanted to take on a communication heavy job to help “bust the stigma” of stuttering.
Lesley says she always wanted to be a writer, and that she knew this that at the tender age of 5, when she began writing stories. Going forward, she realized you had to make money in order to actually make a career out of writing.
Lesley’s mantra is never saying no to a challenge. Early in her adult education career, she did worry that stuttering could be perceived by learners that she didn’t know what she was talking about. She quickly let that go.
Listen in as we discuss authenticity, disclosure, the “fluent voice in our head,” and how stuttering can create an intimacy in communication that helps spark real relationships. We also discussed the benefits of meeting others who stutter and how liberating that can be.
This was a wonderful, inspiring conversation that could have go on for hours, but we were mindful of listener attention spans these days!
Thank you Lesley.
Change Takes Change – Episode 233
Posted on: March 11, 2021
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Episode 233 features McKenzie Jemmett, who hails from Salt Lake City, Utah. McKenzie is a SLP working with pre-school children. She has a long held interest in counseling and believes that plays a part in speech therapy. She also teaches Zumba on the side, a great release outlet while helping others.
McKenzie became interested in stuttering due to her curiosity about how the brain works. She describes herself as having a “mild overt stutter.”
For a long time, McKenzie tried to deny she stuttered and tormented herself trying to appear fluent. It took the help of an incredibly honest and caring friend who told her she was a mess and needed to take care of herself. It was then that she began confronting her demons.
Listen in as McKenzie shares about her worth as a person (it’s not based on cupcakes) and her wish for being more brave. We also discuss what it takes to change, and doing for self what is done for others.
McKenzie is now involved in several stuttering initiatives – she is a committee member of the online ISAD conference held every October and is also a Stutter Social host.
It was great chatting with McKenzie and putting a face to a name.
Deep Cover
Posted on: February 12, 2021
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Yesterday I had the opportunity to present a session on covert stuttering at the South Carolina Speech and Hearing Association. A good friend and SLP, Charley Adams, co-facilitated with me. Our session was titled “Deep Cover – Exploring Covert Stuttering.” The audience of 80+ consisted of licensed SLPs and SLP students.
It seems that SLPs look forward to learning about covert stuttering, as there’s not a whole lot of information out there in the research world. It’s especially helpful to learn about covert stuttering from someone who covertly stuttered for years. Me!
We had the first session of the day, on the first of the 3-day conference. We were given 90 minutes. At first I thought that was too much time, but actually we could have gone much longer.
We helped educate SLPs why people want to hide stuttering and we gave examples of avoidance behaviors.
I think the biggest take-away was considering the answer to the question “how do you help a stutterer who does not stutter?”
Make Room For The Stuttering 
What people are saying!