Make Room For The Stuttering

Posts Tagged ‘women who stutter

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Episode 239 features Bevin Murphy who hails from Dublin, Ireland. Bevin is 23, and just graduated from college this past May. She studied English Media and Cultural Studies. She is taking time to explore her next steps.

Bevin has been active in the stuttering community since around age 6. Her SLP introduced Bevin and her mom to the Irish Stammering Association, with both mother and daughter being hooked right away. The ISA developed “Youth ISA”, for children and teens, which focused on drama projects. Bevin really enjoyed participating in these creative expression activities.

This conversation was such a delight because her mom, Veronica, was a guest way back in 2010. In that conversation, Veronica talked about supporting her young daughter who stutters. You can visit episode 37 here.

Listen in as Bevin shares her journey of acceptance. She speaks candidly about how she let stuttering get into her head too much at the start of college, and how she dealt with stuttering when it was having a “wild time”. Bevin also shares her involvement with the USA based SAY, The Stuttering Association for Youth.

Bevin has recently started a blog, which is fresh and inspiring. Check out My Stutter and I.

It was so fun meeting Bevin and having this great conversation. 

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Episode 238 features Lisa Nguyen, who hails from Raleigh, North Carolina. Lisa works in home health care, and plans to start a graduate certificate degree in Health Administration Management. Her career goal is to help improve the efficiency of our health care system and contribute to lowering the costs of health care.

Lisa spent time as a hospice volunteer. She enjoys hearing about the personal experiences and life stories of older people. She says she’ll encourage those adults who are able, to do life reviews. For those who cannot, Lisa is happy to be there and hold their hand.

Lisa is also co-chapter leader of the adult National Stuttering Association (NSA) support group chapter in Raleigh. Her SLP and NSA chapter leader was impressed with the work Lisa had done over the years with her stuttering and felt Lisa was ready for a leadership role. Lisa has taken to it like a fish out of water.

Listen in as we discuss presence, moving forward and disclosure. It’s clear that Lisa also has the skill of “listening in all the right places.”

whs logo smallEpisode 237 features Ashleigh Givens, who hails from Detroit, Michigan. Ashleigh is a junior in college, and she is majoring in Digital Photography. She started in photography as a freelancer at 15 or 16 years old, and began to believe that she was good at this and she decided to study this professionally.

Ashleigh’s end goal is to work as a magazine photographer with high end fashion shoots.

We covered a lot ground in this episode. Listen in as we talk about the many speech therapy programs she’s gone through, including getting a Speech Easy device. That had to be fitted for her, and the SLP who did that became Ashleigh’s SLP for a while.

Ashleigh’s first National Stuttering Association conference was in 2019 in Fort Lauderdale. She enthusiastically described how much it meant to her, and her mom, to have a First Timer Ambassador call her in advance of the conference. Both mom and Ashleigh found that connection crucial for a good first conference. Ashleigh did meet her ambassador in person. Ashleigh is now part of the NSA Teen Advisory Council (TAC) and is looking forward to her second conference next month in Austin, Texas.

Ashleigh also talks about the fascinating project she did for school, that uses photography to illustrate what she looks like when she stutters, and what listeners look like when reacting to her stutter. See link below. And Ashleigh recently was featured in a NSA profile.

This was an amazing conversation with a rising star in the NSA.

This link illustrates the project Ashleigh did about what stuttering looks like to the outside world. It is broken into three categories: “What You See,” “What You Don’t See,” and “What I See.” It’s quite profound.

whs logo smallEpisode 236 features Anabel Augustin who hails from Broward County, Florida. Anabel is 24 years old, works as a youth case manager and is co-chapter leader for the Miami Chapter of the National Stuttering Association.

Anabel shares her experience with asking for accommodations in collage when she was faced with a public speaking class. She was referred to the Disability Services Office and reported she had a stutter. She shares that she never considered her stuttering to be a disability.

We also discuss how stuttering was taboo in her family, despite stuttering clearly running in her family. And we discuss how the silent treatment about stuttering influenced her career choices.

Listen in as we also discuss fear of blocking, trigger words and awkward moments, and finally disclosure to her family.

Thank you Anabel! What a great conversation. 

Episode 235 features Lesley Brownlow, who hails from Liverpool, England, UK. Lesley works in a council-run Adult Education service, which she describes as very busy, stressful and productive. She says in a way, her career “chose her.” She wanted to take on a communication heavy job to help “bust the stigma” of stuttering.

Lesley says she always wanted to be a writer, and that she knew this that at the tender age of 5, when she began writing stories. Going forward, she realized you had to make money in order to actually make a career out of writing.

Lesley’s mantra is never saying no to a challenge. Early in her adult education career, she did worry that stuttering could be perceived by learners that she didn’t know what she was talking about. She quickly let that go.

Listen in as we discuss authenticity, disclosure, the “fluent voice in our head,” and how stuttering can create an intimacy in communication that helps spark real relationships. We also discussed the benefits of meeting others who stutter and how liberating that can be.

This was a wonderful, inspiring conversation that could have go on for hours, but we were mindful of listener attention spans these days!

Thank you Lesley.

Episode 234 features Alexis Connolly, who hails from Baginton, England. Her village has a tiny population of about 700. She has worked for the NHS – National Health Service – full time for 25 years. She progressively advanced in her career, in positions she was interested in. She presently works part-time as a radiology assistant.

Listen in as we discuss fears and thoughts about stuttering. Alexis shares that her stammer “made me feel ugly.” I think many of us can relate to that. She eventually reached the point where she no longer cared or feared other’s perceptions. She proudly claimed “I am who I am.”

Alexis found support from online women’s stuttering groups and found others who had similar worries and fears. She shared in the group that she was anxious about saying her wedding vows, afraid that she would stammer. She soon realized that her husband loved her with or without stammering.

Alexis shares throughout our conversation how she has become close friends with other women who stammer, thanks to taking a risk in the online groups.

It’s important today to recognize the importance of this day. “International Women’s Day.” So many women who stutter have shared such inspiring truths on the podcast “Women Who Stutter: Our Stories.”

Today women are recognized for their achievements and contributions to our world, both past and present. Women who stutter have also achieved great things in their personal, social and professional circles.

There isn’t anything we cannot do. In fact, we often produce better results or achieve goals sooner than fluent people. Why? Because we have developed such grit and perseverance through our everyday lives and adversities we may have had as children, teenagers, adults, spouses and parents.

We know what it is like to be knocked down and get right back up. We have to! The world does not work without women.

Remember that as women are celebrated today for all that we do and are.

Episode 232 features Naomi Howard, who hails from Mt. Olive, North Carolina. Naomi works as a teacher, recently promoted to Assistant Director, with a Montessori School. She is a musician, playing the piano since 8 years old, and some other instruments.

Naomi is new to the stuttering community, as she has late onset stuttering which only developed a year ago. She shares that it may have been triggered after removal of a pituitary gland tumor.

Naomi is also a little person. I asked which was more challenging to deal with, stuttering or dwarfism. She said definitely being a little person, as that’s consistent and she knows exactly what to expect everyday. Stuttering, as we know, is extremely variable, from minute to minute, hour by hour and day to day.

Listen in to this very inspiring episode. It was a fun conversation with a new friend.

Episode 231 features Sherrika Myers, who hails from Baltimore, Maryland and presently lives in Charleston, South Carolina.

Sherrika is one busy lady. She is certified life coach, a children’s author, a national speaker and founder of Every 1 Voice Matters. She is the creator of Lil Herbie, an African American mascot she uses to help children build their self-esteem and love themselves. She created Lil Herbie when her grandson began to stutter. Lil Herbie represents the little kid in Sherrika who stuttered.

Sherrika also has a YouTube channel which features the Lil Herbie Series. Lil Herbie looks like her grandson!

Listen is as we talk about stuttering awareness, anti-bullying initiatives and importance of loving your voice. Sherrika is doing things now that she wanted to do a kid. She says, “I’m playing catch-up.”

We also talk about reaching parents so they are prepared to help their kid who may stutter. Sherrika tells us that parents should be patient, listen to their child and “allow them to find their way.” More importantly, Sherrika’s universal message is “Be sure kids love themselves.”

Episode 229 features Leah Graham, who hails from Charlotte, North Carolina. Leah stays busy through her work as a Childcare Financial Aid Social Worker. Her wife and two dogs keep her busy too!

Listen in as we discuss the challenges of using the phone more (because of the pandemic,) advertising and disclosure, Leah’s therapy experience, and being non-apologetic about stuttering.

We also discuss effective communication. Leah says, “When I stutter freely and let it flow, I believe I am at my best as an effective communicator.”

Leah also speaks about career aspirations. She used to keep a mental list of jobs she couldn’t do. She doesn’t think that way anymore. She wants to be a lawyer, and has shed the belief that she cannot do this. Leah just took the LSAT exam, the first step towards achievement of her goal.

We wind up this great conversation talking about authenticity and being willing to strip away the layers of doubt and shame. Once those layers are broken down, Leah proudly exclaims, “The world is my oyster.” Yes it is, for Leah and for any of us who stutter.

 

Episode 228 features return guest Anita Blom. Anita is Dutch born, but has lived in Sweden long enough to consider herself as Swedish. She is a global advocate for stuttering, and has been since she was 27 years old, when she first met another person who stutters.

Anita was a guest 10 years ago, and we talked about how she was finally proud of herself. That episode came shortly after I had met Anita at a National Stuttering Association conference, where she was a keynote speaker.

A lot has changed for Anita over the years, but she remains a fierce advocate for people who stutter, especially children who stutter. Anita calls it her “crusade.”

Listen in as we discuss the positives that we have gained from the pandemic year 2020. While lockdowns and social distancing kept us apart, virtual meetings took off and Anita discovered that video chats (mainly Zoom) has enabled advocates to reach so many more people. People who cannot afford the expenses of an in-person conference suddenly were able to connect virtually, and did we ever.

We also talked about how virtual meetings can be exhausting, but the benefits are worth it. And we touch on how women experience stuttering differently than men, and how often women, especially women who stutter can feel “little” in men’s spaces.

Once we are able to resume in-person meetings again, we both agree that we should continue with virtual meetings as well, as we’ve seen the huge benefits of inclusion.

Thank you Anita for being a return guest and for sharing so honestly. You’re definitely a stuttering force to reckon with.

Episode 227 features Rebekah Spencer-Maroon, who hails from Nottingham, England. Rebekah is a full time mum to two young children, both of whom stutter.

Listen in as Rebekah shares her embracing, loving way to look at her stuttering, which wasn’t always the case. Her stutter was the “innocent party” in the covert battle, as it really was the feelings and fear she had around stuttering that made speaking so difficult.

Rebekah shares that she is constantly shocked that she can speak, now that she has given herself permission to be authentic and just stutter. She even describes that her neural pathways are rewiring now that she speaks spontaneously without the heaviness of concealment.

We also talk about how “blocking” forces a person to stop and listen, and the intersectionality of all the pieces that make up our identity.

“We are perfect as we are.”

Episode 226 features Stephanie Nicolai, who hails from San Diego, CA, and presently lives in Peoria, Arizona. Stephanie is married and a mom to a 2 and 1/2 year old son, and works full time as a psychologist.

I wondered why Stephanie chose a profession where she literally talks all day. She explains taking a psychology course while still in high school and wound up loving it. She says she is passionate about human behavior. Stephanie also mentions the natural empathy she can pour into other people.

Listen in as we talk about stuttering trauma and how humans have more in common with each other than they think they do.

We also talk about how the National Stuttering Association was a game changer for both her and her parents. Stephanie’s first NSA experience was at a “Family Fun Day.” it was there that Stephanie first heard other people stuttering and then she and her parents were hooked. Stephanie describes her parents as very supportive and involved in the NSA. Her mom started NSA chapters for kids and teens, and both parents can be seen in some volunteer capacity at annual conferences.

We also discuss the unique, fun opportunity Stephanie had when she auditioned and landed a spot on the TV show “Wheel of Fortune.” Stephanie’s episode aired recently. We’ll let you listen in to hear how she fared on the show.

We marveled how a person who stutters can do anything, including appearing on a national TV show and do well. She says, “we are our own worst enemies.”

Go for what you want – don’t let stuttering stop you. Lemonade sure tastes good.

 

Episode 225 features return guest Alexandra D’Agostino, who hails from Ottawa, Canada. Alexandra is 27 years old, has recently become a Registered Nurse and is looking forward to a new job. Alexandra decided to get into nursing/medicine after realizing it would be a good career fit. She has always liked medicine, even going so far as watching surgeries on YouTube.

Alexandra was a guest four years ago, in September 2016, where we discussed the Cycles of Stuttering. As noted in her previous episode, Alexandra is still very much involved in the stuttering community, as are her parents. Alex notes that she had to miss two NSA conferences when she was still in Nursing school, but her mom went to the NSA conference anyway.

Listen in as we discuss advertising, disclosure, authenticity and volunteering.

Alexandra also shares about her involvement in the Canadian Stuttering Association hosting their first online virtual conference last month. It was a very successful event and drew people who might not have been able to attend due to distance. We talked about the potential of stuttering associations offering both in-person and virtual events so that more people can be included.

What a great conversation.

 

 

Over the last few weeks, I have had the opportunity to do some talks about covert stuttering and how hiding an integral part of me has shaped me.

I co-facilitated a session for the Canadian Stuttering Association in early November and one last week for the NSA global research conference.

And today I spoke to a small female only group of women who stammer.

In all of the talks, I emphasized how stuttering covertly essentially hijacked my personality which lead me down a rabbit hole of avoidance in all areas of my life, not just stuttering related stuff.

I shared with a friend that I had given several of these talks all in a relatively short time period. He said, “well, you’re not covert anymore, you do know that, right?” That gave me pause, as I suppose he’s right. What I’ve been sharing has been the journey I’ve taken to embrace my true self and become open with who I am and how I speak. One of the presentations I gave was aptly called, “Dropping the ‘C’ in Covert Stuttering.”

People who stutter and those who interact with people who stutter seem genuinely interested in how going from extremely covert to truly open is done and why.

At today’s talk, the topic of small talk came up, in relation to a comment that someone made about finding it hard to make friends as a person who stutters. I mentioned that many of us really never learned how to “make small talk” because we were always so busy hiding or rehearsing what we might be able to say fluently if we absolutely had to talk.

One woman asked me if it has become any easier to make small talk now that I stutter openly. I shared that it absolutely has become easier. I am more spontaneous now than I’ve ever been because I just stutter and get on with it. I don’t care as much as I once did and I didn’t worry so much about being judged.

And I shared that my fear had always been fear of rejection. I really think that’s what it boils down to – being rejected, not being liked, not feeling that sense of belonging that we all crave and need.

I’ve come to realize that indeed I’m not covert anymore and that I can enjoy spontaneity in conversation and really feel present in a conversation.

I’ve heard myself time and again these past few weeks mention that I truly feel that authenticity invites reciprocity. And that we all yearn to allow ourselves to be vulnerable, as that is the foundation of real belonging.

 


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© Pamela A Mertz and Make Room For The Stuttering, 2009 - 2021. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Pamela A Mertz and Make Room For The Stuttering with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. Same protection applies to the podcasts linked to this blog, "Women Who Stutter: Our Stories" and "He Stutters: She Asks Him." Please give credit to owner/author Pamela A Mertz 2021.
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