Make Room For The Stuttering

Posts Tagged ‘women who stutter

Episode 212 features Michele Delo, who hails from Buffalo, New York. Michele recently graduated with a degree in Dietetics and Nutrition and is preparing for her exam to be a registered dietitian. One of her goals is to do clinical nutrition to perhaps include diabetes education.

Michele is a a co-chapter leader for the National Stuttering Association in Buffalo. She shares that taking on this role has really helped her with leadership and public speaking skills.

Listen in as we chat about advertising and how she had been a covert stutterer. Michele describes using a higher pitch when speaking, which helps her be more fluent and also more peppy and chipper when she is interacting with patients. I shared how altering pitch has also helped me, and is a skill I learned in Toastmasters. People who stutter who have chosen acting as a career also have noted success when using pitch and vocal variety to help be more fluent.

This was a great conversation with a young woman who owns her uniqueness and encourages other women to do the same.

The musical clip used today is credited to ccMixter.

Editors note: Again I had some trouble removing background static and feedback. Sue me! I’m still an amateur. 🙂

Episode 211 features Jazmynn Davis, who hails from Maumelle, Arkansas. Jazmynn is a licensed dental assistant, a Regional Chapter Coordinator with the National Stuttering Association and is actively involved in the world of beauty pageantry.

Listen in as Jazmynn talks about interacting with patients and peers and how she handles her stuttering. She also shares how she has made stuttering awareness her platform when competing in beauty pageants. Jazmynn gives us a primer on pageant protocol and explains how it’s not just beauty but all aspects of a woman’s life. We talk about how well prepared for public speaking one becomes after participating in on stage interviews that are timed and judged.

Jazmynn has also used this platform to mentor and coach girls and young women interested in competing in the pageant world.

Music used in today’s episode is credited to ccMixter. Editors note: There are a few areas of background static that I was unable to edit out. Sorry!

Episode 210 features Dana Koprowski, who hails from the Chicago suburbs. Dana is a newly promoted Director of a large child care center. She keeps busy as a Family Chapter Leader for the National Stuttering Association and has also taken on the coordinator role of a new NSA mentoring program called Generations.

Dana was a guest last summer, soon after returning from her first NSA conference. In episode 182, Dana talks about having finally found her tribe. I was interested in chatting again with Dana because I have witnessed the dramatic changes she has experienced in such a short time. She is a completely different person from the one I met not quite two years ago. She has also shared her story on the NSA Career Success profiles, something the “old Dana” would never have done.

Listen in as we chat about all the “firsts” Dana has celebrated and how she is proud of herself in becoming the person she believes she is meant to be. Dana feels she has found true purpose in combining her love of children with promoting acceptance. “It’s OK to feel what you feel,” Dana says and describes how meaningful it has been to connect young people with mentors that will help them feel OK and feel hopeful for the future.

This was such an important conversation that truly illustrates the power of mentoring. 

Music used in today’s episode is credited to ccMixter.

Episode 209 features Phyllis Edwards who hails from New Zealand. Phyllis shares that she is 66 years young and has finally felt empowered to tell her story. I “met” Phyllis through her amazing contribution on the 2019 ISAD online conference. Phyllis has a supportive husband and children and works in an early childhood center, with 2-5 year old children.

Phyllis only discovered the stammering community about 18 months ago when she searched the internet about stammering and then found herself attending two conferences in different parts of the world, the BSA conference in 2018 in Cardiff, Wales and the World Congress in Iceland this past June 2019. To say that magic has happened in Phyllis’s life is really an understatement.

Listen in to this conversation, so full of emotion, from being a bit choked up to laughing quite freely, about a topic that Phyllis never dreamed she’d be so open about. Phyllis shares how her husband and children helped to make conference attendance a reality.

Part of Phyllis’s story that we as women who stutter can probably all relate to is that we have something in us – a seed – that makes us stronger, and it takes each individual to find that exact right time to be open to and embrace that we are worthy, stammering and all.

Phyllis believes it is time to pay it forward, and talks about how it “takes a village” to own our stammering.

I am glad I am a small part of Phyllis’s village.

Episode 208 features Kelsey Hoff, who presently hails from Amman, Jordan. Kelsey is a return guest, from this episode of eight years ago, where Kelsey talked about living her passion. Now, eight later, she is sure living her passion. Today, Kelsey is married, speaks fluent Arabic and has a multi-cultural private therapy practice.

Listen in as we discuss experiences Kelsey has had coming to terms with stuttering in English versus Arabic. She has had to circle back to what acceptance means re: stuttering because she had reached that point in English but old feelings of inadequacy resurfaced when she stuttered more in Arabic.

Kelsey also shared the critical importance of “owning and knowing your story” in order to portray your true self to the world. Here, she talks about experiencing a bit of “impostor syndrome” when she felt she wasn’t good enough to be a professional who stutters.

And we dive into psychology and what being a counselor who stutters has brought to the counseling space. Kelsey shares that she is comfortable sitting with people in their pain and “holding that space.” Kelsey talks about how she has reached the place where she knows she offers a presence and words that are meaningful.

She chooses every word and nothing is wasted, not even silence. She recalls feeling at times that her lack of words (because of stuttering) was a waste and she now revels in feeling liberated because she IS enough.

The music used in today’s episode is credited to ccMixter.

I had a wonderful conversation last week with a woman who stutters who will be featured on this week’s episode of the podcast Women Who Stutter: Our Stories.

We spoke about how important it is to own our story and be comfortable with all of it. That is the primary reason why I started the podcast, to give women who stutter a space to share their stories, because we all have one.

We talked about how sometimes we can feel so diminished when someone mentions, “Oh, you don’t really stutter,” or “I can hardly tell you stutter.” It brought back memories of a time where I found myself telling someone, “Yes, I really do stutter, honest I do!” It felt like yesterday, that feeling of having to defend that part of me. Why in the world would someone need to convince someone that they really stutter? You’d think there would surely be more important things we’d want to defend, like honor, integrity, reputation.

As I thought about this, I realized anew that my integrity and reputation is based on the very fact that I honor my story and don’t shirk from it, that my experiences with stuttering have greatly shaped and informed the person I am today.

People don’t really know me unless they know my story. How can you possibly know someone when you don’t (or won’t take the time to understand) the life cycle of all that was grappled with, reconciled and is now proudly owned as part of me?

All of us have a story, a legacy that will live on after we are gone. I want people to remember me, not just for something I did, but for who I was as a person.

What about you? What’s your story? What do you want, need, for others to know about you? What do you hope for in your legacy?

 

 

Episode 207 features Rivky Susskind, who hails from Brooklyn, NY. Rivky is a Speech Language Pathologist (SLP) who recently has decided to open her own private practice to help clients who stutter. Rivky also loves music, singing and writing.

Rivky has immediate and extended family that also stutter so it was “almost normal” that she stuttered, yet feelings about stuttering were never talked about. Rivky describes the shame she grew up with and the “mountain of shame” she finally confronted when she was ready. She mentions always hoping that someone would find out she stuttered so she could be “fixed” and then help “cure” others. As you’ll learn from listening, that’s not what happened.

Listen in as we discuss covert stuttering, change versus acceptance, the incredible power of community and meeting others who stutter and the “legacy” Rivky hopes to leave.

The music used in this episode is credited to ccMixter.

PamEpisode 206 features Isabell Rennie, who hails from Provo, Utah. Isabell is 24 years old and a recent college graduate. She has a degree in Wildlife and Wild Lands Conservation and is figuring out her career path. She loves animals and loves to teach so it’s highly likely that’s where she’ll find herself.

Isabell is active in the stuttering community. She co-leads the Provo chapter of the National Stuttering Association and has worked as a Counselor at Camp SAY for two summers.

Listen in as we talk about what happened when Isabell finally addressed the “volcano of feelings” she had but never talked about. She is learning to love this part of herself. Stuttering has made her a better person and helps her treat people the way she wants to be treated. Isabell feels more equipped to handle hurt feelings. She said something that really resonated with me: “Be loud and be in charge of how people treat you.”

We also chat about how incredibly important it has been to find the stuttering community. Her advice to young women just starting out on the stuttering journey? “It’s OK to take your time to get there.”

The music used in today’s show is credited to ccMixter.

 

Episode 205 features Danette Fitzgerald, who hails from New Haven, Connecticut. Danette is an Optical Systems Engineer working on the manufacturing side of building microscopes.

She has always been good with math and science and discovered she wanted to pursue a career in science after taking a physics class and finding it fun. She is a chapter leader for the local National Stuttering Association support group and also loves traveling.

Listen in as we talk about covert stuttering and “recovery from covert behaviors,” stuttering in the workplace, speech therapy experiences, advertising and confidence building strategies.

We also chat about Danette’s recent experience at the ISA World Congress for People Who Stutter which was held in Iceland this past June. I really enjoyed this opportunity to connect with Danette, as we’ve known each other for many years now but never had a chance to talk in depth like we did here.

 

Episode 204 features Pauline Benner who hails from Fort Wayne, Indiana. Pauline is a mom and musician. She plays woodwinds and keyboards for three different theaters and with a symphony. She is also a singer/songwriter, freelances and gives private lessons.

Listen in as we talk about how Pauline’s life path came from what she couldn’t do versus what she really wanted to do, because of stuttering. She sings for audiences but prefers not to speak to the audience before singing. She “speaks through her instruments.”

We also talk about how much of stuttering is psychological versus physical and the head space we give to stuttering. Pauline shares about how Toastmasters has helped her and her belief that society has changed where we can feel more free to stutter. Pauline wants people who are fluent to know that “the voice in our head is fluent” and that the world would benefit if we were all just more patient in general.

The music used in today’s episode is credited to ccMixter.

Episode 203 features Maryann Nelson, who hails from Spartanburg, South Carolina. Maryann is a Speech Language Pathologist who works in the schools. In high school, she wanted to become a SLP but didn’t think she could due to stuttering. It wasn’t until she found the National Stuttering Association (NSA) did she learn that it was possible.

Maryann is a leader for a family chapter of the NSA and is also very active in her church. For the last 3-4 years, she has spoken at the SC state speech and hearing association annual conference and has found much success there. She has facilitated highly attended sessions and realizes how hungry SLPs are for knowledge and information about stuttering. Maryann has been with the NSA for twelve years now and has not yet done a workshop there. She aspires to lead one in 2020.

Listen in as we discuss shame, self worth and feeling beautiful in our skin. Maryann says she felt like she was “boxed in” based on an employer’s perception of her stuttering. She grew to learn that you, we, can choose to live outside of that box. We wrap up by sharing that we have to keep talking about stuttering and moving forward.

Music used in today’s episode is credited to ccMixter.

nina g book coverOne of my favorite people, and repeat guest on the podcast Women Who Stutter: Our Stories, Nina G, has a book launch on August 6, just a couple days after her birthday. Genius!

I had the opportunity to read an advance copy. Actually, I read chapters of it before it was even in proper book form. Nina asked me to help proof the first few chapters. I have been salivating since, waiting to read the whole thing.

And this review is completely unbiased, despite the fact that I am mentioned in the book, not once, but twice. I won’t spoil it for you by hinting where I pop up, but I assure you, it’s one of the best stories in the book.

This is a “must read” if you stutter, care about someone who stutters or have just about any “thing” that makes you different. Because at it’s core, Stutterer Interrupted is about owning and celebrating who we are with our differences and quirks. It’s also about honoring the fact that we should do that and take up space in this conformist world of ours.

Nina’s book is a fast read. Well, for me anyway, it was. I read it all in one sitting. Rather, I inhaled it. Why? Because it’s personal and authentic and pays homage to finding ourselves. I recognized parts of me in these stories brought to life in rich, conversational bites. Each chapter is about different life experiences Nina has had, that have shaped her into the “living my dream,” “rocking my inner badass,” female stand up comedian that she is today.

Stutterer Interrupted is about reclaiming the space that we never thought we were entitled to. It’s about activism and advocacy, using humor and storytelling to reach people in authentic ways. It’s not a research paper. It’s not a peer reviewed journal article. It’s a story that has been years in the making and begged to be told.

The world needs more light shining on those differences that make us who we are and help us survive in an otherwise boring world. Nina urges us with her “in-your-face” honesty to take stock of who we are and who we want to be when we grow up. And then go get it.

Read this book. Now. It’s important.

It’s written by a woman who stutters which I kind of have a soft spot for.

 

Episode 202 features Ariel Mahlmann, age 23, who hails from Olney, Maryland. Ariel graduated from the University of Maryland with a degree in Economics and she works full time for a Cyber Security start=up, Ariel also writes a blog about lifestyle and stuttering. Her blog title illustrates her stuttering.

:Listen in as we discuss networking and interviewing, advertising stuttering and ways we manage our stuttering. Ariel also talks about the very positive experience she has had in avoidance reduction speech therapy. She describes the goals and objectives of this non-traditional therapy perfectly and explains why it suits her so well.

We also talk about Ariel’s first time experience at last year’s National Stuttering Association annual conference and it’s impact. Ariel wrote a great blog post describing what that first-timer experience was like. Ariel is planning to go back for her second conference and is prepping for it by intentionally setting  goals o ensure she gets the most out of it and has fun. What a great idea!II plan to set a goal as well to meet a certain number of new people.

This was such a fun conversation and I look forward to meeting up with Ariel in person in Fort Lauderdale.

The music used in today’s episode is credited to ccMixter.

 

Episode 201 features Juliette Blondeau, who hails from Cypress and presently lives in Paris, France. Juliette is 21 years old and she is setting the world on fire. She is in her last year of her undergraduate degree, studying politics and Islamic Theology. She is also a newly elected member of the Board of Directors of the French Stuttering Association.

Juliette and a fellow newly elected French Stuttering Association Board member are working on two challenging projects for people who stutter. They just completed a very successful eloquence contest over a course of seven weeks and are now developing a guidebook so that other countries can benefit if they wish. This is a great example of “improving the wheel,” instead of “recreating the wheel.” They are also working on an ambitious workplace stuttering awareness project.

Listen in as we discuss the benefits of disclosing your stutter, collaboration, the importance of empathy and connection, and how stuttering can be a really powerful and useful “people compass.”

It was so wonderful to chat with Juliette, as her enthusiasm and passion is contagious.

Note: there are a few awkward moments in the audio, due to a poor internet connection. Juliette is in France and I am in the USA, after all. I did not want to edit out too much of Juliette’s thoughts so there is a bit of static throughout, but it’s not too distracting.

The music clip used today is credited to ccMixter.

Special note: It’s so exciting and gratifying for me to share this 200th episode of the voices of women who stutter from all over the world. I never believed in 2010 when I started this that it would still be going strong nine years later. I have talked to women from 41 different countries around the world. So this latest episode is a proud milestone.

PamEpisode 200 features Betony Kelly, who hails from Kent, England, in the United Kingdom. Betony keeps quite busy. She is a new mom to her first child. She enjoys connecting with interesting people. She works with the UK Civil Service in a behavior change and engagement role and chairs a stammering network. She also works with the British Stammering Association to help support people who stammer in the workplace.

Listen in as we talk about how there is really something beautiful about stammering and that it should be OK, but it’s really not yet in our workplaces. There is such an emphasis on sounding slick and competent and being an impressive speaker. Stammering is such an integral part of who we are yet so many of us still are compelled to hide it. Particularly women. Why?

We take a deep dive into authenticity and how employers say they want that but really only want the version of ourselves with boundaries. Employers don’t want our emotional baggage, do they? They want us to be our “adult selves” and leave our real selves at home. We talk about inclusion and what it really means and that it can’t just be “token” inclusion. There is absolutely a continued need for crucial conversations such as this, especially with those who don’t stammer and still take fluent communication for granted.

The music used in today’s episode is credited to ccMixter.


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© Pamela A Mertz and Make Room For The Stuttering, 2009 - 2020. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Pamela A Mertz and Make Room For The Stuttering with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. Same protection applies to the podcasts linked to this blog, "Women Who Stutter: Our Stories" and "He Stutters: She Asks Him." Please give credit to owner/author Pamela A Mertz 2020.
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