Make Room For The Stuttering

whs logo smallEpisode 256 features Mide Oyindamola, PharmD, RPH, who hails from Palestine, Texas, by way of South Carolina and Nigeria. Mide works as a hospital pharmacist.

Listen in as we discuss how Mide came to choose pharmacy as her career. We also discuss covert stuttering, and what happened when Mide lost the ability to be covert.

She says it felt like a midlife crisis, even though she was only in her 20’s. Her stuttering frequency and severity increased seemingly overnight, and she also felt like she had “started to stutter for the first time.”

We talk about her positive therapy experience and finding support through the National Stuttering Association. And we wrap up with discussing how being vulnerable invites others to do the same, which helps build relationships.

Listen for how the title of this episode was chosen!

Every year, National Stuttering Awareness Week is celebrated in the US during the second week of May. Stuttering advocates encourage people who stutter to stutter openly during this week, or advertise that they stutter in an effort to educate others and raise awareness of a still very misunderstood speech difference.

This year, the National Stuttering Association has chosen the theme of “Stuttering Unmasked” in the hopes that people who don’t stutter will better understand what’s behind stuttering and the masks that we who stutter often wear.

Stuttering is so complex. There are so many myths and false assumptions that could be reduced if people who stutter spoke up more and let people see and hear raw, unmasked stuttering.

But there lies the conundrum. Many people who stutter feel so much shame about stuttering that it’s easier to keep the masks on. The “fake fluency” mask, the “shy, introvert” mask, or the “I don’t know the answer” mask.

Stuttering continues to be a difference that people often mock or laugh at, or about, because people just don’t understand it.

I am hoping that people who stutter will feel brave enough during National Stuttering Awareness Week, and hopefully more often, to be open about stuttering. Talking about stuttering lets others see that we are OK with it, and often prompts questions and discussion that promotes better understanding.

I plan to be open about my own stuttering. What about you?

whs logo smallEpisode 255 features Kathryn Paprocki, who hails from Denver, Colorado. Kathryn is a wife, mom and professional fighter. She and her husband own a gym called DCO MMA & Fitness. She is a boxer and kickboxer, but her ultimate passion and soul lies with MMA.

Kathryn shares that training and fighting helped her manage anxiety and build confidence. Finding out who she was, and what she was capable of, was powerful. She was featured on an episode of the ESPN reality show The Ultimate Fighter last year, and it was important to her to not have her stuttering hidden.

Listen in as we chat about going through painful phases of wanting to stop talking, building coping skills, “L.O.V.E. – Letting Others Voluntarily Evolve” and the joy of finding the National Stuttering Association and attending her first conference.

Our wonderful conversation wraps up with discussing how important it is to have self-compassion.

whs logo smallEpisode 254 features Dr. Tracey Wallace, who hails from Brandywine, Maryland. Tracey is an educational audiologist for the Washington, DC public schools. She also works with her husband as an entrepreneur, with an event venue that they are growing.

Tracey spent more than half of her life managing the stress of trying to survive as a covert stutterer. She describes walking into stuttering moments, panicking, and falling apart.

One such moment led to a “rock bottom” experience as an audiologist. That lead to her finding and attending her first NSA chapter meeting (then known as the NSP) and later meeting a SLP who offered a non-traditional form of speech therapy, known as avoidance reduction. Listen as Tracey describes how this changed her life.

We also discuss stuttering and deafness, ASL, the costs of concealment, and “false fluency.”

Thank you Tracey for such a meaningful conversation.

whs logo smallEpisode 253 features Elizabeth Escobar, who hails from Germantown, Maryland. Elizabeth is a busy mom and student, who speaks and stutters in three languages: English, Spanish and Arabic.

Elizabeth is studying International Studies with a minor in Information Technology. She likes advocacy work and understanding the socioeconomic statuses of other countries.

Listen in as we delve into adaptability, resilience and evolution. Elizabeth is learning how to take her power back. She doesn’t want to feel bad anymore about stuttering and wants to release herself from bad memories. She doesn’t want to go by her nicknames anymore – she wants to be vociferous and loudly proclaim “My Name is Elizabeth.”

We also talk about understanding self-sabotage and the strength it takes to enter into therapy.

Remember Elizabeth’s name. She’s going places!

whs logo smallEpisode 252 features Callie Brazil, who hails from Irvine, California. Callie is the Director of Digital Marketing and Storytelling at UCLA Law School. Her focus is on social media storytelling and brand journalism. 

Callie shares her story of how many doors open when one door closes. And this is not cliché at all!

Callie thought she was going to be a lawyer, but now realizes she is in the right place at the right time. She talks about endless speech therapy that was “fluency first” focused. There were times when she felt she had failed, so wanted to silence her voice. She started ASL classes to communicate. 

Callie reached a point when she was truly ready for resources and support. Her life changed when her amazing SLP (shout out Loryn!) told her it was OK to stutter, something no one had ever told Callie. And be sure to listen closely as Callie talks about one special conversation with her grandmother.

Listen in to a great story that wraps up the 12th year of sharing powerful stories from and about women who stutter.

I’ve read many people post on public forums, especially Reddit, how much more difficult stuttering becomes for them around holidays. Some say it’s because of the tension that arises from being around family members we rarely see during the year.

Some people who stutter feel strangely vulnerable around their parents, who were the first authority figures in our lives. We may feel that we disappointed them then, and nothing has changed, so we think we’ll just disappoint again. We often find ourselves trying to adapt to different family dynamics each year. Maybe there are new members of the family or we are adapting to a loss. Sometimes, we see extended family members we have not seen for years. And it may feel like all eyes are upon us when we speak, and if we stutter, the room can go silent, so the only sound you hear is the prolonged or lingering stutter.

I always felt uncomfortable and embarrassed in family gatherings. I chalk it up to having had a very chaotic and traumatic childhood. But, really, I found it hard being the oldest child of six. At the dinner table, everyone would be chattering at once and we’d have to compete to be heard. I was literally trying to be heard, which created tension, that I internalized.

That tension has always stayed with me. Of the few family gatherings I attend these days, I tend to stay quiet and only pipe in when I feel I have something important to say. But usually I don’t. Because gatherings are often shallow, with people sharing about mundane everyday stuff that none of us can really relate to because we only get together once a year.

This year, I have noticed that I stutter much more when on the phone, especially with my closest sister. I can feel and hear myself stuttering, her waiting, and then me trying to be less aware of stuttering, but stuttering more.

After so many years of stuttering and holidays, it’s the same complexities that keeps the mind busy.

Wishing you good stuttering and happy days.


whs logo smallEpisode 251 features Emma MacMillan, who hails from Minneapolis, Minnesota. Emma works at a bank as a relationship manager, working with the mergers and acquisitions team. She enjoys reading, concerts and hanging out with friends.

Emma opens up about working with fast paced attorneys, who slow down to listen to her. She had challenged herself with customer service jobs in high school and college to get more comfortable with stuttering at work, and where she increased her confidence.

We also discuss how persons who stutter are represented in the media, educating others, her experience of being an “outgoing introvert” and how women are unicorns in the stuttering community.

Emma attended her first NSA conference this summer and we spend time talking about her experiences, how it felt meeting others who stutter, and some of the workshops that really made an impact.

Thank you Emma for such an inspiring conversation.

This episode is a milestone for this podcast. We’ve reached Number 250. This brings me so much joy.  

whs logo smallEpisode 250 features Adriana Flowers, who hails from Springfield, Oregon via Honduras. Adriana is 23 years old and is a grad student studying Public Administration. She hopes to pursue a career in either the nonprofit industry or local government.

Adriana prides herself on being an advocate for people who stutter and the National Stuttering Association. She wants to be a mentor for others who stutter, especially for young girls and teens.

Listen in as we talk about her job during Covid where she called students infected with Covid and may have been contacts. We talked how the benefits of helping her community outweighed the heavy communication load for a person who stutters. 

We also discuss supportive workplaces, the need to relearn how to do face-to-face conversations after two+ years of video platforms and wearing a mask.

We also talked about the importance of family understanding stuttering. Adrian’s dad joined her for her first two NSA conferences.

Catch Adriana on the next NSA We Stutter @ Work webinar on customer service jobs, to be held on September 28.

No words needed. Just listen.

whs logo smallEpisode 249 features return guest Carolina Ayala, who hails from Ajax, ON, Canada. She shares that she’s been working in the disability field now for 20 years and loves it. She has recently transitioned into a new position, where she helps clients engage and be more social in their communities.

In this special episode, we discuss what it’s like to be in a relationship with another person who stutters. Her partner has given us permission to talk about him. 😊

Carolina tells us that she she doesn’t have to explain good or bad days – Sang just “gets it.”

She shared they first met casually at a NSA conference, but she never thought she’d actually talk to him. Sang then reached out to her on Facebook, and something told her to talk to him. At the time, Carolina mentioned that she was getting ready to attend an intensive speech therapy course in Canada. A few days later, Sang told her he bought a plane ticket and was joining her.

I asked Carolina when she knew she wanted to learn more about Sang. She said she knew when she felt so safe with him. She also added that was a cute and very dapper guy. (You are Sang!)

Carolina and Sang have not explored next steps yet, as there’s a whole big world to explore. They both love to travel and have happily exploring that world together.

Listen in to this very insightful and inspiring episode.

Male wearing blue with sunglasses and big smile and woman wearing yellow also with big smile.

Selfie of when Carolina and Sang first met.

whs logo smallEpisode 248 features Lindsey Lambert, who hails from Kansas City, Missouri. Lindsey is in her 30’s and is an R.N. working as an assistant nurse manager on the oncology floor at a VA Hospital.

Lindsey recently attend her first National Stuttering Association conference, which she describes as finding the family you didn’t know you had.

Listen in as we talk about Lindsey’s experiences with avoidance and being covert. She says she practiced a lot of avoidance for a really long time. She was tired of walking through life not being who she was. She is still working on her journey to acceptance.

Lindsey’s conference takeaways include: she found empowerment in getting out of her negative mindset. She discovered overwhelming love and support, and the deep conversations with others who stutter to be so freeing. She challenged herself to maintain eye contact, and she did.

Lindsey wants to heal. I’d say her first conference experience and all the people she met puts her well on the path to that healing.

Last week I had the wonderful opportunity to attend one of the oft held masterclass sessions sponsored by Schneider Speech and Transcending Stuttering. I was eager to attend this session as the speaker was a friend and researcher extraordinaire, Chris Constantino. He was sharing a session on Neurodiversity and Stuttering and the applications to therapy.

I knew this would be a wonderful session because I have heard and read Chris’s work on covert stuttering, inclusion and previous works on neurodiversity. I contacted the session coordinator and asked if I could attend, despite its primary focus on therapy applications. He welcomed me in.

I knew immediately I made the right decision. I was the only non-SLP participant in the group, but that was actually very helpful. I was able to understand how therapists today are working towards steering clients to examine the values behind differences vs impediments and that “fixing” is not always the best route. I shared some of my thoughts as well, as a person who stutters who has successfully enjoyed, (and still does) the journey towards acceptance of a life well lived with stuttering.

I was happy to be a fly on this wall!

whs logo smallEpisode 247 features Steff Lebsack, who hails from Aurora, Colorado. Steff is a wife, sister, mother of two and a SLP. Steff’s brother Jasper stutters, and is the reason Steff wanted to become a SLP and specialize in stuttering.

Steff just started a private practice and also works as a hospital SLP. Further, she teaches the online fluency course at Baylor University.

Steff talks fondly of when she first started working with clients who stutter, she thought she would be putting on her “hero cape” to save people who stutter. She learned that people who stutter don’t need saving, that we have a voice which should be heard no matter how it sounds.

Listen in as we talk about how Steff suffered a brain injury, and as a result she began stuttering at 36. We talk about faking stuttering, or “malingering,” going intentionally silent because of the pain of stuttering, compassion and empathy. And lot’s more.

We wrap about talking about power, and the importance of helping people feel that they matter.

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© Pamela A Mertz and Make Room For The Stuttering, 2009 - 2022. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Pamela A Mertz and Make Room For The Stuttering with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. Same protection applies to the podcasts linked to this blog, "Women Who Stutter: Our Stories" and "He Stutters: She Asks Him." Please give credit to owner/author Pamela A Mertz 2022.
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