Posts Tagged ‘acceptance of stuttering’
The Trauma Of Stuttering
Posted on: October 5, 2026
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It’s really weird that my own journey with stuttering continues to fluctuate so much. I have long talked about stuttering, what it was like “coming out” of the covert closet and I regulary talk about stuttering with others.
I’m the Queen of Stuttering at the virtual events I get to host for the NSA. I say “get” because it is truly a privilege to host events where others who stutter, or don’t know much about stuttering, come into a space that I occupy and I can actually teach someone about stuttering.
Most of the time when I go about my daily life and interact with others, I hardly give stuttering a thought.
Until, that is, someone makes me think about it because of how they might have reacted.
This past week or so I have had several medical appointments, and I have two more this week. Lots of interactions with the medical community is part of my life now that I have a serious chronic medical condition.
Usually stuttering doesn’t come up. But it did last Friday and again today. Because two different medical receptionists laughed while I stuttered on my date of birth during the check-in process.
I always stutter on the “T” sound of the number 12. I repeat the “T” quite a few times until it feels like coming out and then for good measure I stutter on the “Th” sound of the next number, 13.
Most of the time it’s a blip on the radar. But this time, two different receptionists, in two different places, found it funny or unusual enough to laugh.
Right away, it made me uncomfortable and forced me to think about stuttering when that should be the last thing from my mind when I am navigating healthcare for something not related to stuttering at all.
I also had to think about, “oh boy, not again. I hate this.” And “should I say something? Should I educate her?” I don’t always feel like educating someone about stuttering when I am focused on other stuff.
But then I have to think about, “well, I don’t want her to laugh again and I want her to understand that stuttering is just the way I talk, and it doesn’t need to be giggled or laughed at.”
And then I think about not wanting to embarrass her/them by saying something within earshot of others.
I said something, both times. Just quickly – “Hey, I stutter and that’s just how my birthdate comes out sounding sometimes.” One apologized right away, the other flushed and turned her head away, while her cube mate gave me a side eye.
Was this really traumatic? In the scheme of things, NO. But in the moment, YES it was. Laughing at how I talk, in front of others, intentionally or not, made me feel embarrassed and small.
20 years ago I didn’t have the courage to say anything when this happened. Now I’ll say something, even though I may not want to. It gets tiring and frustrating.
Repeated episodes of being laughed at because of how we talk can indeed be traumatizing. A quick antidote is to say something, educate and hope it sticks.
Even when I don’t feel like it.
Can you relate?
Roll With It – Episode 273
Posted on: April 21, 2025
Episode 273 features Halie Matthews, who hails from South East Georgia. She is a toddler teacher and works with 2 and 3 year old’s in a pre-school. She is also in the process of getting her degree in Early Childhood Education.
Listen in as we discuss what it’s like working with young kids and their interest in her stutter. She usually refers to it as “silly speech day” with the kids, and sometimes they will help her with a word.
We also talk about how during speech therapy, Halie’s SLP would pull up an episode of this podcast to listen to, which helped Halie so much toward acceptance. This made me feel so good as the host of this podcast that it was used and found helpful by a SLP.
Halie reports that it helped her to remove the pressure to be fluent, which actually helped her become more fluent.
What a great conversation!
Episode 271 features Paula Campbell-Schwab, who hails from Houston, Texas. Paula is a retired Special Education teacher and spends her time doing lots of fun things, such as yoga, water aerobics, and Tai Chi. At 72 years young, Paula is a force to be reckoned with.
Paula grew up in the Northeast, and lived in nine different states, before moving to Houston. She has been very active in the National Stuttering Association and in 1985, she helped co-found the NSA Houston Chapter. Fast forward to 2024, Paula was inducted into the NSA Hall of Fame. She said she found it so surreal, and tried to concentrate on all the others at the conference while on stage accepting her award.
Paula shared that a friend recorded her acceptance speech and she hasn’t watched it yet. Paula doesn’t like seeing herself stutter on screen, can be highly self-critical, and described years of wanting to be invisible, wanting to blend in, feeling like she didn’t have a voice. She goes on to share that now that she has found her voice, she likes “Authentic Paula” who is more “Real” than the Paula she knew growing up.
Listen in as Paula talks about why she chose teaching, learned ASL, how stuttering runs in her family, and what brings her back every year to the NSA.
Paula was very touched by a book written by mutual friend Hanan Hurwitz titled Stuttering: From Shame and Anxiety to Confident Authenticity. She brought copies of the book and gave one to every member of the Houston Chapter and arranged to have Hanan join a meeting and have an open discussion about the book and its meaning to members.
If you don’t know Paula, make it your business to get to know her. She is a treasure.
Episode 269 features Brittney O’Neal who hails from Sacramento, California. Brittney is busy with a wife and almost 3 year old daughter and her career. Brittney is a Certified Prosthetist/Orthotist and is preparing to soon open her own clinic.
In her work, Brittney makes artificial limbs and custom braces. She combines her lifelong passion for building things and helping people.
She stuttered covertly for a long and did not meet another person who stuttered until she was 25 years old. Because she felt alone with her disability, she looked up to those with visible, physical disabilities.
Brittney had plans to enter the Marine Corps and during basic training was told she needed to “fix” herself and she entered into speech therapy for the first time ever. She enrolled into the two-week intensive therapy offered at AIS. She was expecting to learn fluency enhancing strategies and found instead it was all about acceptance. She decided against enrolling in the Marine Corps, as acceptance of stuttering and letting it out opened new doors for her and she couldn’t close that door.
She attended her NSA conference this year. She felt is was so freeing, and she was so happy that she gave herself that time and space.
Listen in to this great conversation and learn how Brittney wants to be a good role model for her daughter.
On Being Open – Episode 257
Posted on: June 17, 2023
Episode 257 features Gabriela Perez, who hails from Guilford, Connecticut. Gabriela just graduated from the University of Chicago with a major in Global Studies and Spanish and Portuguese.
She is going to Brazil for the next year under a Fulbright Scholarship to teach English at a Brazilian university.
Gabriela has a very tight knit family. She has a twin who also stutters and her younger sisters are also twins. Her entire family is attending the upcoming National Stuttering Association conference in July in Fort Lauderdale, FL, which was Gabriela’s first conference.
Listen in as we discuss using social media as a way to advertise stuttering, early and young adult experiences with speech therapy, and how Gabriela really believed that therapy would “cure” her stuttering. She set out to read scientific research articles so she would have a foundational understanding of stuttering.
Gabriela aspires to go to law school and hopes to one day work with victims of human rights violations, perhaps with the UN in a Latin American country.
Look out world. Here comes Gabriela!
I Was Ready – Episode 252
Posted on: January 2, 2023
Episode 252 features Callie Brazil, who hails from Irvine, California. Callie is the Director of Digital Marketing and Storytelling at UCLA Law School. Her focus is on social media storytelling and brand journalism.
Callie shares her story of how many doors open when one door closes. And this is not cliché at all!
Callie thought she was going to be a lawyer, but now realizes she is in the right place at the right time. She talks about endless speech therapy that was “fluency first” focused. There were times when she felt she had failed, so wanted to silence her voice. She started ASL classes to communicate.
Callie reached a point when she was truly ready for resources and support. Her life changed when her amazing SLP (shout out Loryn!) told her it was OK to stutter, something no one had ever told Callie. And be sure to listen closely as Callie talks about one special conversation with her grandmother.
Listen in to a great story that wraps up the 12th year of sharing powerful stories from and about women who stutter.
My Second Family – Episode 248
Posted on: July 22, 2022
Episode 248 features Lindsey Lambert, who hails from Kansas City, Missouri. Lindsey is in her 30’s and is an R.N. working as an assistant nurse manager on the oncology floor at a VA Hospital.
Lindsey recently attend her first National Stuttering Association conference, which she describes as finding the family you didn’t know you had.
Listen in as we talk about Lindsey’s experiences with avoidance and being covert. She says she practiced a lot of avoidance for a really long time. She was tired of walking through life not being who she was. She is still working on her journey to acceptance.
Lindsey’s conference takeaways include: she found empowerment in getting out of her negative mindset. She discovered overwhelming love and support, and the deep conversations with others who stutter to be so freeing. She challenged herself to maintain eye contact, and she did.
Lindsey wants to heal. I’d say her first conference experience and all the people she met puts her well on the path to that healing.
Progress
Posted on: May 22, 2022
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“A turtle only makes progress when it sticks its neck out.”
I love this quote. How do we define progress? Progress in school (think report cards,) progress at work (performance evaluations, or getting a raise,) or just doing something really uncomfortable. Maybe public speaking, performing improv, or giving a toast at a wedding.
All of those things can be challenging for people who stutter. I was always afraid to volunteer at school or work, afraid they would think I wasn’t competent or laugh. I unconsciously thought those things would happen, so I learned to hide my stutter as deeply as possible, without looking like a recluse.
Do you ever look at stuttering as something with which we can make progress? I mean like stuttering more openly, more comfortably, or even taking part in therapy to lessen our stuttering or struggle behavior.
I had such a long experience with covert (hiding) stuttering. I was swimming in shame and the belief that no one would want to hear my voice, or even that I was unworthy of talking, as it was different than “normal” speech.
Progress for me was just letting go and confronting my shame, which took a long time. I began to open up more, took speaking risks I never would have dreamed of, and most importantly, I met other people who stutter, especially other women. Through the community of the National Stuttering Association which offers one day and 4 day conferences, chapter support meetings, and online webinars and groups, I found out that progress means something different for everyone.
Discover what it is you want to do, and go after it, as slowly or quickly that YOU want to. It’s not a race, it’s a journey.
Progress – “A turtle only makes progress when it sticks its neck out.”
Open Doors – Episode 245
Posted on: February 10, 2022
Episode 245 features Caitlin Franchini, who hails from Atlanta, Georgia. Caitlin is a second year graduate student studying speech language pathology. She is currently participating in an externship with high school students and loves it. Caitlin is also a self professed foodie – she loves cooking and baking.
Listen in as we discuss all things stuttering. We talk about the changing relationships we have with our stutter, the journey to self confidence and acceptance and Caitlin’s own experiences with speech therapy.
Caitlin is new to the stuttering community and has gone from thinking she was the only who stuttered to realizing there is a huge network of support out there. We talk about disclosure and the importance of validating our identity as a woman who stutters.
Caitlin had the opportunity to work as a counselor at Camp Say last summer. It was a wonderful experience. “I thought I was going to change lives, but my life was changed.” Those epiphany moments are the best.
** Host note: As I listened back to this episode, I was stunned at the number of times I used filler words such as “uhm” and “you know.” I was in Toastmasters for many years and had worked specifically on recognizing and reducing filler words. For a long time, filler words were “run-ups” to words that I thought I was going to stutter on. An old avoidance tactic. Does anybody else find this creeping back in? **
At Home – Episode 243
Posted on: January 13, 2022
Episode 243 features Akaiya Bryant, who hails from Indianapolis, Indiana. Akaiya is 19 and a part-time university student majoring in special education, with a minor in American Sign Language (ASL). She also has a part-time job working at a grooming salon.
Akaiya has been active in the stuttering community since age 12. She and her mom have attended the annual Friends conferences together and it has been life changing for both of them. She has also helped to facilitate online teen support groups.
Listen in as we talk about good and not so good therapy experiences, the value of disclosure, and the need to “keep going.” Akaiya has a great way of describing her experience of stuttering, as being “Disabled by Environment,” and how it’s helped her to self advocate.
Akaiya also talks about a project upcoming next month at her university. She has collaborated with the college Disability Office to have a screening of the powerful film My Beautiful Stutter. Simply by asking, Akaiya has made it happen.
I was honored to have this great conversation with a young woman who is making such a difference in the world.
Episode 242 features Angélica Bernabé who hails from Lima, Peru. Angélica is a Psychologist who is also studying to be a Speech Language Pathologist.
She has her own Stuttering Center which is focused on an interdisciplinary, holistic approach to stuttering therapy. The Center will celebrate its third anniversary in December. She is also a member of Stamily, serving as part of the content team.
Listen in as we discuss the goals of stuttering therapy and the importance of being honest with clients, especially parents of children who stutter, who may be looking for “the fix”.
Angélica shares that she is not a “superhero” nor wants to be! She advocates showing vulnerability, with both good and challenging situations. She also states with confidence (and shares with her clients), “This is my way to talk. If you don’t like it, that’s not my problem”. What a statement of personal empowerment that can and is shared with clients.
It was such a delight to chat with and get to know Angélica.
An International Conversation
Posted on: October 23, 2021
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As I mentioned earlier this month, I’ve had the good fortune to be involved in several fun activities this week promoting awareness and education about stuttering.
My favorite was yesterday, the actual day of International Stuttering Awareness Day. I moderated a panel of 5 people from around the world talking about stuttering across the globe, and what we have in common no matter where we are from.
I felt proud to have international connections and to be part of such a valuable conversation.
We talked about how stuttering is seen/viewed in different countries, what types of resources are available, and individual and societal acceptance of stuttering.
Opportunities like this to chat with people from other countries enriches our understanding of the stuttering experience. And further cements wonderful friendships.
Episode 240 features Shiran Israel, who is from Israel. Shiran is a busy woman. She is a mom of two children and works as a Behavioral Economist in a hospital’s quality control department. She has been a member of the Israeli Stuttering Association and manages the Facebook groups, media and translations of materials.
Her BA degree is in Psychology and Economics. Life took her to a Masters degree in Behavioral Economics, which worked out well for her. She did a thesis on the relationship between mindfulness, compassion and the experience of stuttering.
Listen in as we talk about therapy experiences, concealment vs. acceptance and “making people listen”. Shiran also says when she stopped hiding, she found peace. “It’s the way I speak”.
We also discuss how she creates “branches in her mind” to give her alternatives when word searching, juggling many roles, and the need to be gentle on ourselves.
This was such a wonderful conversation with an inspiring woman.
What people are saying!