Showing Up – Episode 266
Posted on: April 1, 2024
Episode 266 features Jolie Keenan, who is an infectious disease physician who hails from Washington State. She grew up in the Philippines and moved to the USA after completing her medical training. She has two young daughters.
Jolie shares how listening to this podcast helped her get through a lot of dark moments about her stuttering, when she feared she would be judged as “less than” or incompetent. She shares that during residency she felt a lot of pressure to appear fluent. To this day, she does not disclose that she stutters, but rather overprepares for presentations and grand rounds.
She has learned that she does have value to offer the world, and growing more confident leads to her stuttering less. She talks about the importance of building up a bank of positive speaking experiences, to draw upon during the times when she feels embarrassed or looked down upon.
Jolie believes it’s possible to change your thoughts about stuttering, from “I can’t” to “so what, I just stutter.”
A Full Heart – Episode 265
Posted on: March 25, 2024
Episode 265 Features Stacey Dedering, who hails from San Jose, California. Stacey is the proud mom to 17 year old twins and works as a HR Generalist in the education industry. She also volunteers with her local Food Bank, takes leadership roles and will soon celebrate 4 years of volunteerism.
Listen in to a wonderful conversation where we discuss how Stacey has come to love doing presentations after many years of shying away from that. We also talk about whether we consider stuttering to be a disability, accommodations that can be made for stuttering, covert stuttering and the stigma that is still associated with stuttering.
We also talked about the safety created in the monthly “NSA Women Connect” which has become a sacred space exclusively for women who stutter.
Stacey is hoping to attend her first National Stuttering Association conference this summer, and we have already vowed to give each other big bear hugs.
Talk More – Episode 264
Posted on: February 1, 2024
Episode 264 features Elizabeth Edwards, who hails from Baltimore, Maryland. Elizabeth works in Public Health as an Adult Immunization Coordinator.
Elizabeth shares that she attended an Older Adults workshop at the annual NSA conference in 2022 and found that she really wanted to develop and sustain intergenerational relationships. She is now part of the NSA Older Adults committee, as the youth liaison.
Listen in as we discuss “mending the generation gap,” the importance of meaningful connections and stuttering in her own family. Elizabeth’s brother stutters but the two never talked about it until college. She is hopeful that 2024 is the year that her brother will attend a NSA conference.
Life Is A Cabaret – Episode 263
Posted on: November 16, 2023
Episode 263 features Michelle Polinsky, who hails from New York, NY. Michelle works as an ENT surgery coordinator, where she works with a lot of anxious parents. This job sort of fell into her lap, and has actually helped with her speech, as it’s helped her deal with her fear of phone calls.
Michelle studied theater in college, and before the pandemic, started taking cabaret classes. She took a class again after the pandemic and was encouraged to do a show of her own. She has now performed it twice. She couldn’t find a song that represented stuttering, so she wrote one herself. She has been encouraged to submit it for the Cabaret Awards.
Michelle is involved in the stuttering community, as a long time member of the Manhattan chapter of the National Stuttering Association and as a former member of Our Time Theater (now known as SAY.) In fact, Michelle was one of the original pre-teen members of Our Time, and attended a couple of NSA conferences where they performed at the NSA Opening Ceremonies.
Michelle shares that stuttering isn’t the worst thing in the world and that she has a relationship with stuttering that includes community and friends she loves. She treasures her time with “her people” a couple of days a year at the conferences.
And I treasured this conversation. Dear listeners, please take a moment to watch and listen to Michelle’s wonderful original song, in her YouTube video.
Take That Leap – Episode 262
Posted on: October 23, 2023
Episode 262 features Devin, who hails from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Devin is a nanny/house manager for a family with two kids, ages 11 and 12. She has worked in the child care field for about 12 years.
Devin attended her first National Stuttering Association conference this past summer, after learning about it from a SLP who stutters that she had seen for two years over Zoom. She had not met other people in person who stutter until attending the conference. She’s been covert most of her life.
Listen in as we discuss the power of disclosure, ownership and increased confidence. Devin also shares that she didn’t know how much she needed friends who stutter until she met so many people that stutter. She also talked about the experience of speaking at an open mic, and the impact of the women who stutter workshop. She felt buoyed by the “female energy” and thinks there should be a women’s workshop once each day during the conference.
Thank you for such a wonderful conversation, Devin!
Episode 261 features Mandy Rodstrum, who hails from Columbus, Ohio. Mandy is a wife, mother, and school based Speech Language Pathologist. She has worked as a SLP for 19 years.
Mandy originally thought she was going to be a music teacher. She considers music “her first language.” After taking an elective course in speech and hearing science, she realized she was meant to be a SLP.
Listen in as Mandy talks about the “distant relationship” she had with her stutter. As a SLP, she had been taught “fluency enhancing” therapy only, which solidified her own covert stuttering. She eventually realized she wanted to become more of a counselor rather than a “fixer.”
I met Mandy at her first National Stuttering Association conference this summer, which was a life changing experience for her. She also went to the Friends conference, both helping her see that she was enough and worthy, and that it was exciting to experience new calmness, confidence and curiosity.
Mandy shares that she has always been “Amanda” professionally, because she didn’t stutter when introducing herself as “Amanda.” She has said goodbye to “Amanda,” thanked her for her service and has welcomed “Mandy,” who is ready to be, and stay, in the drivers seat.
The Word Impediment
Posted on: September 1, 2023
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I recently had a couple of conversations where the word impediment came up. I find that people who stutter often describe their stutter with words that denote something negative. Like impediment, problem, disorder, or even defect. I honestly don’t remember using any of those words when referring to my stuttering. When I talked about it, I always called my stuttering “stuttering,” never speech impediment. I don’t remember anyone around me specifically saying I had a speech impediment.
To me, these above words are negative. They imply there is something wrong with us. Don’t get me wrong, I definitely have felt there was something different about the way I talked. I was often embarrassed if someone called attention to my stuttering, or if I did so myself by stuttering more than I usually did/do.
But the word impediment has always bothered me. I have never felt impeded in communicating. I have always been able to talk and get my point across, albeit differently than non-stutterers. I could ask for something, answer a question, and on the rare occasion, even poke light fun at myself. (I am able to do that much more today than I was when I was desperately covert. Even when hiding though, I could still convey my thoughts.)
I think about what impedes us regarding stuttering. I think the fear of judgement, of being laughed at, or not taken seriously can impede people who stutter (heck, anybody really) from engaging with the world around us.
I can answer the phone, chat with friends and family, place an order and talk to staff at medical appointments. I am not impeded from communicating. I get what I need and want. It’s not always smooth sailing, and I know that people who struggle more with stuttering than I do may disagree about whether we have an impediment or not
I hope we reach the point some day where how we talk is not seen as a problem, a defect or an impediment. It’s a difference, it’s how I talk and it’s OK. Really!
I’m Finally Home – Episode 260
Posted on: August 14, 2023
Episode 260 features Sara Ayala, who hails from Houston, Texas. Sara is a Montessori teacher working with infants and toddlers. She is a member of the Houston Chapter of the NSA and recently attended her first National Stuttering Association conference.
Listen in as we discuss how freeing it felt for Sara to meet so many other people who stutter and how she immediately felt “she was home.” We also talked about how everything happens for a reason and unfolds the way it should.
Sara shares that for so long she had been operating from a state of fear and had been in hiding. She now feels she can own it, and even sees stuttering as an art form. Since returning from the conference, Sara has been socializing more than she ever has and has been trying to “reprogram her mind,” that she is young and it is OK for her to go out, socialize and have fun.
Sara says: “We live life based on what others think or say. If we can ignore that and just focus on living life, you’ll fall more in love with yourself.”
Stutter With Me – Episode 259
Posted on: August 1, 2023
Episode 259 features Haley Totherow, who hails from Benicia, California, in the San Francisco Bay Area. Haley has always had a passion for writing, thinking she could express herself better on paper. However, the stress of job interviews caused her to put her writing dreams on hold and she found herself pursuing other opportunities.
Haley currently works as a production baker, a career jump that prompts her to acknowledge the importance of rolling with the punches.
Listen in as we talk about how an NSA workshop on job interviews really helped her to see stuttering’s strengths. We also talk about small talk, increasing confidence and exploring new parts of her personality.
Haley has an Instagram account, @StutterWithMe, which she hopes to create more content and work on educating others about stuttering. She also has a blog of the same name, which shows off her writing skills.
Thank you Haley for such an inspiring conversation.
Known And Understood – Episode 258
Posted on: July 19, 2023
Episode 258 features Marissa Druzchetta, who hails from Houston, Texas. Marissa is a social worker and presently works as a Director of a Meals-on-Wheels program. She supervises around 10 staff and 100 volunteers, so she describes her work environment as very fast paced and not always conducive to disclosure.
Marissa is also very involved in the stuttering community and the NSA, currently serving as Chapter Leader for the NSA Houston Adult chapter. This chapter is the second longest established chapter and several of the early founders and leaders of the group are still actively engaged.
Listen in as we discuss the importance of finding community, the importance of self care and showing up and being there for others. Marissa also shares a great piece of advice for any of us to take to heart. Say this out loud a few times: “Don’t let the Perfect be the enemy of the Good.” We are good enough!
On Becoming More Introverted
Posted on: July 13, 2023
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I recently returned from another life changing NSA conference. This experience was especially poignant for me as I had not planned to go due to all of the challenges I am up against. I describe myself these days as being “medically and financially precarious.” My community helped me get there and I am grateful.
I always learn so much about myself when I am with my tribe and can take in all of the warmth and richness of the stuttering community. This year I learned that I am definitely becoming more introverted than ever. I’ve always leaned towards being an introvert, due to both being a stutterer and living a relatively isolated life for so long.
I love being with my stuttering community, but I found this year that I needed more alone time and that I was anxious in common areas with big crowds. I don’t recall this being as acute as it seemed to be this year. Several times, I found myself at a table full of friends over dinner with no desire to say anything.
I recall a friend sitting across from me asking more than once if I was OK and what was I thinking about. He tried to draw me into conversation. I think I sent off signals that I wasn’t having it! I guess it may have appeared I was lost in thought or daydreaming. I think it was actually being acutely aware of how uncomfortable I felt, and not understanding why.
Like I said, I love being with my community and giving as much of myself as I can. But I found I needed lots of “breaks.” Alone time, non-talking time, thinking and reflecting time. I went to my room early on several nights and then criticized myself for doing that.
Maybe it’s a product of aging. Maybe it’s a product of stuttering. Maybe it’s just a preference for quiet. In a couple of places, the music was so loud, people were shouting to be heard. I don’t enjoy that anymore. I actually don’t know if I ever did.
Has anyone else discovered a new desire for more alone time? Does it get in the way of doing all that you want to do?
On Being Open – Episode 257
Posted on: June 17, 2023
Episode 257 features Gabriela Perez, who hails from Guilford, Connecticut. Gabriela just graduated from the University of Chicago with a major in Global Studies and Spanish and Portuguese.
She is going to Brazil for the next year under a Fulbright Scholarship to teach English at a Brazilian university.
Gabriela has a very tight knit family. She has a twin who also stutters and her younger sisters are also twins. Her entire family is attending the upcoming National Stuttering Association conference in July in Fort Lauderdale, FL, which was Gabriela’s first conference.
Listen in as we discuss using social media as a way to advertise stuttering, early and young adult experiences with speech therapy, and how Gabriela really believed that therapy would “cure” her stuttering. She set out to read scientific research articles so she would have a foundational understanding of stuttering.
Gabriela aspires to go to law school and hopes to one day work with victims of human rights violations, perhaps with the UN in a Latin American country.
Look out world. Here comes Gabriela!
Episode 256 features Mide Oyindamola, PharmD, RPH, who hails from Palestine, Texas, by way of South Carolina and Nigeria. Mide works as a hospital pharmacist.
Listen in as we discuss how Mide came to choose pharmacy as her career. We also discuss covert stuttering, and what happened when Mide lost the ability to be covert.
She says it felt like a midlife crisis, even though she was only in her 20’s. Her stuttering frequency and severity increased seemingly overnight, and she also felt like she had “started to stutter for the first time.”
We talk about her positive therapy experience and finding support through the National Stuttering Association. And we wrap up with discussing how being vulnerable invites others to do the same, which helps build relationships.
Listen for how the title of this episode was chosen!
Stuttering Unmasked
Posted on: April 30, 2023
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Every year, National Stuttering Awareness Week is celebrated in the US during the second week of May. Stuttering advocates encourage people who stutter to stutter openly during this week, or advertise that they stutter in an effort to educate others and raise awareness of a still very misunderstood speech difference.
This year, the National Stuttering Association has chosen the theme of “Stuttering Unmasked” in the hopes that people who don’t stutter will better understand what’s behind stuttering and the masks that we who stutter often wear.
Stuttering is so complex. There are so many myths and false assumptions that could be reduced if people who stutter spoke up more and let people see and hear raw, unmasked stuttering.
But there lies the conundrum. Many people who stutter feel so much shame about stuttering that it’s easier to keep the masks on. The “fake fluency” mask, the “shy, introvert” mask, or the “I don’t know the answer” mask.
Stuttering continues to be a difference that people often mock or laugh at, or about, because people just don’t understand it.
I am hoping that people who stutter will feel brave enough during National Stuttering Awareness Week, and hopefully more often, to be open about stuttering. Talking about stuttering lets others see that we are OK with it, and often prompts questions and discussion that promotes better understanding.
I plan to be open about my own stuttering. What about you?
Be On Your Own Team – Episode 255
Posted on: March 29, 2023
Episode 255 features Kathryn Paprocki, who hails from Denver, Colorado. Kathryn is a wife, mom and professional fighter. She and her husband own a gym called DCO MMA & Fitness. She is a boxer and kickboxer, but her ultimate passion and soul lies with MMA.
Kathryn shares that training and fighting helped her manage anxiety and build confidence. Finding out who she was, and what she was capable of, was powerful. She was featured on an episode of the ESPN reality show The Ultimate Fighter last year, and it was important to her to not have her stuttering hidden.
Listen in as we chat about going through painful phases of wanting to stop talking, building coping skills, “L.O.V.E. – Letting Others Voluntarily Evolve” and the joy of finding the National Stuttering Association and attending her first conference.
Our wonderful conversation wraps up with discussing how important it is to have self-compassion.
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