The value is in the journey, not the outcome. As I continue to nourish my relationship with stuttering, I am also nourishing my spirituality. I don’t want my stuttering fixed. This is a beautiful realization – I can say it, feel it, believe it and own it.

For so long, I kept the stuttering hidden. I didn’t make room for it. I had two important conversations today with two very different people, both of whom are deeply significant in my life. They both get me. I was stuttering well with both of them, and was completely okay with it.

I spoke with one J over the phone. He too stutters, and we both seemed so completely at ease and we both stuttered so comfortably with each other. I felt so at peace with myself after this conversation. I was smiling as we talked, and just appreciated the realness we had with each other. There was no pretense, no tension, no awkwardness. Neither of us remarked on the other’s stuttering – it was just relaxed, easy communication. The way it should be. We took time for each other.

The other J and I talked in person, for over an hour. He does not stutter, but we talked about stuttering quite a bit. I stuttered well and comfortably with him too. I asked him if he noticed increased stuttering, and he told me that he did, but he took it as a sign of remarkable peace and comfort with who I am. We took time for each other.

He added that in some of my really best stuttering moments, he saw the slightest hint of a smile, which he took as my way of telling him that I was totally at home in this space we have carved out with each other. It is a sacred space, that place where two people can be so intimate and connect on the deepest level.

Both of these conversations with important people today moved me to tears. This is my spiritual self acknowledging that the universe is conspiring to tell me something. The universe knows what I need and the universe needs me. We are surrounded and held by this peace. (Thank you Jean, for this thought that stays with me). My journey with stuttering is filled with beauty, love and peace. My life would not be as rich without this relationship.

I have moved to an exciting new place in my journey. I can feel it in every sense of my being, deep in my bones and in my soul. This is a moment to be cherished. I do not need to be fixed.