Make Room For The Stuttering

Posts Tagged ‘stuttering with confidence

PamEpisode 161 features Lynne Mackie, who hails from Edinburgh, Scotland. She presently resides in Newcastle, England where she is doing an internship for a mobile application for people who stutter. Lynne is a student who is finishing up her Master’s degree in Information and Library Studies. She also loves drama and all sorts of media.

Listen in as we talk about advertising, covert stuttering, taking strength from other people, the recent joint NSA/ISA conference and so much more.

Lynne talks about how successful advertising has been for her in university and with friends. She talks about letting listeners know what she prefers, and that what she says will be worth the wait.

We talk about the situation for people who stammer in Scotland and the rather new Scottish Stammering Network, of which Lynne is Vice Chair. Lynne also runs the Edinburgh support group.

Lynne applied for an internship for people with disabilities. She learned that Newcastle University had wanted to develop a mobile app for people with speech impediments and Lynne was asked to head up the research into the app for stammering. The goal of the app is to help people boost their confidence in everyday speaking situations.

We wrap up this great conversation talking about Lynne’s experience at the recent conference. Music used in today’s episode is credited to ccMixter.

For years, I believed that stuttering could not be used in the same sentence as effective communicator. The two did not equate. Stuttering to communication was like a bull in a china closet – not going to work.

But ever since I joined Toastmasters and practiced public speaking and realized that I could communicate effectively, things changed. I began to believe in myself as a communicator and others did too. I’ve been asked to speak to many groups about my stuttering journey, something I never imagined myself doing when I was younger.

Last week, I had the opportunity to speak to a high school science class about the neurobiology of stuttering.The students were a great audience and asked thoughtful questions. They also provided me with great feedback.

These are just a few of the comments students emailed me the day after the presentation:

“Listening to you speak was amazing. You’re so confident and knowledgeable on the topic and it was truly inspirational.”

“Your ability to conquer your fear of stuttering was inspiring. I wish I had your amazing communication skills.”

“I truly admire the courage it took for you to present to us! You are an inspiration and I hope you know what a great communicator you are!”

It was so gratifying to talk to these kids and have them share that they think someone who stutters can still be a great communicator.

We CAN be great communicators. Remember, there is so much more to effective communication than being fluent. Speaking regularly and getting feedback proves that.

So often, I read on social media about people who stutter being frustrated that they stuttered. People share posts that they had a bad day because they blocked on every word during a presentation. Or they didn’t order what they wanted at a restaurant because they couldn’t say the word lettuce that day.

Some people describe an upcoming speaking situation they have and how nervous they are that they are going to stutter. They ask for good luck to be sent their way. They hope for fluency.

We who stutter are so quick to describe our bad days – stuttered out of control, stuttered really bad, or didn’t finish speaking before someone interrupted or walked away.

We might beat ourselves up for how we’ve reacted to our stuttering moments. That’s something I continue to work on. I often stutter and then feel embarrassed, and then beat myself up for being embarrassed. I’ve heard and read similar from others who often second guess what they should have done or how they should have reacted to their stuttering. I guess it’s just human nature to commiserate with each other.

So, given all this, what then constitutes a good speech day? Is it when we don’t stutter?

I don’t think it can be that, since as people who stutter, we stutter. Right? We’re going to stutter every day.

I’d like to suggest that a good speech day is when we’ve said everything we’ve wanted to say, stutter and all. We got through our presentation, we had the important talk with our boss, we ordered what we wanted at the restaurant. And we stuttered.

I think conveying our message and getting our point across in the way we talk, as stutterers, is important. That can be our measure of success, instead of trying to be unrealistic and hope that we don’t stutter.

What do you think?

 

 

I recently had the opportunity to attend a comedy show, headlined by Drew Lynch, a person who stutters. Drew was featured on last season’s reality TV show, “America’s Got Talent” (AGT.) Drew did stand-up comedy on the TV show and wound up finishing the talent competition in second place.

Drew did not grow up as a stutterer. He claims he began stuttering a few years ago, after being injured in an accident. He was hit in the throat by a softball and began stuttering. He had aspirations to be an actor and decided to try his hand at stand-up comedy when fate intervened and he was injured.

I remember last year when Drew was on AGT. A lot of people in the stuttering community did not find him funny and did not think it was cool to make fun of stuttering. Audiences laughed at his stuttering jokes and the way he made fun of himself. He almost always laughed himself after telling a joke.

I found him to be funny and his humor appropriate, but was only seeing him in 3 minute segments.

When I heard he was coming to my hometown to headline a comedy show, I was very interested in seeing him perform. I wondered how he would handle performing for a longer stretch. And I wondered how my hometown audience would react to a comedian that stutters.

My sister had asked me to go with her to the show, which was a surprise, as I didn’t think she would be interested in seeing someone who stutters. She and I don’t talk about stuttering. It’s always been a taboo topic in my family and continues to be so, even though I am very open and public about my stuttering.

So we went to the show and had a great time. There were two opening acts, one which was very funny and the other was just OK. Neither of them stuttered! 🙂

When Drew came out to perform, he immediately started with a joke about stuttering. He laughed and the audience laughed. Drew went on to perform for almost an hour, which I marveled at, given that it’s a long time and a lot of material to remember for the performance.

His material was not all stuttering related. He had funny jokes about every day life which the audience enjoyed. About half of his material was related to stuttering, and making fun of his own stuttering. I think his willingness to poke fun at himself and laugh at his own jokes and funny stories gave the audience permission to laugh. And laugh they did. It appeared everyone in the packed room was having a great time.

I posted something about having attended this comedy show on Facebook. Several people commented that it is not good to laugh at stuttering, because it opens the door for anybody to laugh at stuttering.

I say that most people can appreciate the context and will not laugh at someone stuttering just because they happened to laugh at a stuttering comedian.

After the show, Drew stayed around to meet and greet fans and signed autographs and took pictures. The line was so long, which was a great sign that the audience had enjoyed Drew’s performance. I did not stay to talk to him, although I really wanted to let him know that I stutter too.

Turns out, after my sister drove me back to my car, she went back and stood in the line to get an autograph and a photo. Guess she really enjoyed the performance.

So, what do you think? Is it OK to laugh at someone who stutters when they are telling jokes and making fun of their own stuttering?

PamEpisode 151 features Nora Sadik, who hails from Urbana, Illinois. Nora is a Master’s student at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. She is studying environmental engineering with an emphasis on water quality in the developing world. She enjoys creative activities such as painting and cooking and also enjoys live music.

Nora shares that she has always had a pull toward human health. She’s had a drive to help people, but it’s really the people helping her.

Listen in to a great conversation that covers a lot of ground. We talk about how women don’t take as many risks, that we’re perhaps wired to be cautious and protect ourselves. We relate that to women who stutter, and talk about protecting ourselves based on who we are and our feelings about stuttering.

We talk about thinking about what the other person is thinking about us when we are in conversation. We create fear, which can be consuming and exhausting.

And we talk about Nora’s experience as a Keynote speaker at a conference for girls called “Authentic Voices.”  She shares that her talk was about her journey toward self-acceptance with her speech and how self acceptance of any challenge we have is important to empower girls.

The music used in today’s episode is credited to ccMixter.

 

I had a really great conversation this week with a colleague about stuttering. I was talking with a new staff member about a Google hangout I participated in with people from all over the world, and how much I enjoyed it. She asked me what was the topic and I said stuttering.

I participated today in a great conversation about all things stuttering on the weekly Wednesday Stutter Social hangout.

We were talking about stuttering with confidence and whether practicing our speech increases confidence.

A couple of people mentioned that they intently practice speaking every day for one to two hours, to themselves. This practice helps those particular individuals feel more confident when they are speaking to others.

One guy mentioned that sometimes after practicing and feeling more confident, when he is speaking with others that he actually forgets he stutters.

I did a double take and mouthed “what?” I couldn’t wrap my brain around this.

The facilitator of the hangout asked us to reflect on “forgetting that we stutter” and think of a time where we might have experienced this.

To be honest, my first instinct was, “Nope I have never forgot that I stutter.” For years I tried to hide my stutter. I dealt with the mental gymnastics of word substitution and avoidance,which was a constant reminder of stuttering.

Now that I no longer do that (mostly) and stutter openly – more on some days than others- I am reminded every day that I stutter. Sometimes those stuttering reminders come at the most inopportune times.

But after the hangout was over and I thought about this some more, I found myself thinking that I sort of knew what the guy meant. There are times when I am very fluent and if I have a stuttering moment, it’s not really noticeable. At those times, when I’m not thinking of stuttering, I can understand how you can actually forget about stuttering.

At these times that I am not thinking about stuttering, I am also not acknowledging it. Perhaps by not acknowledging it, for a brief time, we can actually forget we stutter.

What do you think? Can you fathom ever forgetting that you actually stutter?


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© Pamela A Mertz and Make Room For The Stuttering, 2009 - 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Pamela A Mertz and Make Room For The Stuttering with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. Same protection applies to the podcasts linked to this blog, "Women Who Stutter: Our Stories" and "He Stutters: She Asks Him." Please give credit to owner/author Pamela A Mertz 2016.