Last night in a Stutter Social hangout, we had a great discussion about how sometimes for people who stutter, there is a disconnect between what we think we want to say and how it actually comes out.

We can be quite fluent in our heads and then when we go to speak, our words come out stuttered and messy and sometimes not even making sense, because we may have switched words.

It’s funny that our discussion started out about the similarities between stuttering and Tourette Syndrome and then morphed into a discussion about how disconnected our thoughts and words can be. One of the participants in the hangout offered her thoughts about how what she wants to say often comes out different from what she actually says.

I have felt this disconnect. I’ve often rehearsed before speaking what I want to say and try to predict words or sounds I may stutter or block on and try to choose words that I am usually fluent on. Sometimes it doesn’t work out and I feel like what I’ve said sounds out of context or doesn’t make sense. Sometimes the stuttering has a mind of it’s own and I stutter on words that I didn’t predict I would.

We also talked about confidence. Very often our body language conveys confidence and then is betrayed by what comes out of our mouth, that may make us sound nervous or unsure of ourselves.

We talked about how sometimes we can portray a quiet confidence by not saying much. But I wonder, aren’t we then jeopardizing our true self by staying quiet when we really don’t want to?

What do you think? Have you ever felt that disconnect between what’s in your head and what comes out of your mouth? How have you worked with that?