Make Room For The Stuttering

Posts Tagged ‘fear of stuttering

This wonderful piece by film maker Luke Collins hit YouTube this week and is circulating through the stuttering community. It is receiving high marks. The film exquisitely captures the intimidation and panic that a person who stutters feels and imagines.

I commented on the piece on YouTube and the film maker responded back. He is pleased that people who stutter think this is authentic representation. I asked him why he didn’t portray the character himself. He said he didn’t feel he has the “acting chops.” He also shared that directing the actor was an interesting way to explore the process that he experiences. Kudos to Luke for sharing a piece that people who stutter can all relate to.

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PamEpisode 151 features Nora Sadik, who hails from Urbana, Illinois. Nora is a Master’s student at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. She is studying environmental engineering with an emphasis on water quality in the developing world. She enjoys creative activities such as painting and cooking and also enjoys live music.

Nora shares that she has always had a pull toward human health. She’s had a drive to help people, but it’s really the people helping her.

Listen in to a great conversation that covers a lot of ground. We talk about how women don’t take as many risks, that we’re perhaps wired to be cautious and protect ourselves. We relate that to women who stutter, and talk about protecting ourselves based on who we are and our feelings about stuttering.

We talk about thinking about what the other person is thinking about us when we are in conversation. We create fear, which can be consuming and exhausting.

And we talk about Nora’s experience as a Keynote speaker at a conference for girls called “Authentic Voices.”  She shares that her talk was about her journey toward self-acceptance with her speech and how self acceptance of any challenge we have is important to empower girls.

The music used in today’s episode is credited to ccMixter.

 

Stuttering requires a degree of fearlessness. In order to stutter openly, at some point, we have to lose the fear we have of being made fun of, or laughed at, or getting “the look.”

For most of us, letting go of that fear is hard to do. The fear of stuttering may indeed be more debilitating than the actual stuttering is.

I can well remember how worried I would always be of other people’s reactions if I stuttered. It goes back to childhood – of my father yelling at me when I stuttered, of the teacher who reprimanded me for stuttering, as if I was doing it purposely.

Those early experiences made the fear intensify. I feared the negative reactions more than the stuttering. The stuttering came and went. My perception that people thought there was something wrong with me stayed.

Fear drove me to hide my stuttering for a very long time. Even after “coming out” a few years ago, I still have moments where I try to hide it, or realize that I unintentionally hid it.

In one of the stuttering groups on Facebook, fear has been a recent topic. It never ceases to amaze me how many people are dealing with their “firsts” with stuttering. First time talking about stuttering openly, first time confronting emotions, namely fear.

These days, myself and other “stuttering veterans” are in a position to share our past experiences and hopefully help others with their first attempts at owning their feelings and fears.

It’s never easy. In fact, fear never really goes away, does it?


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© Pamela A Mertz and Make Room For The Stuttering, 2009 - 2017. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Pamela A Mertz and Make Room For The Stuttering with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. Same protection applies to the podcasts linked to this blog, "Women Who Stutter: Our Stories" and "He Stutters: She Asks Him." Please give credit to owner/author Pamela A Mertz 2017.
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