Posts Tagged ‘stuttering’
Good Stuttering Experience
Posted on: June 12, 2013
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I want to share a good stuttering experience I had this week.
On Saturday, I participated in a Block Party held in my community and represented the National Stuttering Association at an information table. It was a great day – the weather cooperated and it was warm, which brought a lot of people out.
I had many visitors to my table and delighted in being able to share information about stuttering, both to those who did not know much about it and to several who did.
One of the first visitors to my table was 6-year-old Charlie who stutters. He was with his uncle. We talked about stuttering and I gave the uncle some resource material. I gave Charlie a pin, a wrist band and a chinese finger trap, which illustrates what it’s like to get stuck in a stuttering block.
By the end of our brief conversation, Charlie was stuttering like a rockstar and grinning from ear to ear.
I also met 9-year-old Taylor who also stutters. He shared with me the 3 ways he stutters – repetitions, stretches and blocks. He knew blocking very well and schooled me on it. He too left the table with a big grin.
Later in the day, the city mayor came over and introduced himself and we chatted a bit. The mayor shared that he had stuttered as a kid, which led him to be quiet. He said, “when you’re quiet, you don’t stutter.” He said his stuttering stopped when he was in his teens.
He also asked me if I knew the former mayor of another city near us, who stutters. I did and we talked about our admiration for his willingness to be vulnerable every day in his public speaking. He is no longer the mayor, but holds a different role in state government.
It was a great day to raise awareness and educate about stuttering. The two little guys who openly stuttered made my day!
Several years ago I would never have imagined that I could be out in public willingly talking about stuttering, while stuttering, just to educate others. I have grown so much in my journey.
I encourage all of you to take opportunities when you can to participate in community events and volunteer to be an ambassador for stuttering. You will reap the rewards, I promise you.
Breathe It In – Episode 104
Posted on: June 10, 2013
Episode 104 features Jessica Stone, who hails from New York City. Jessica has her Master’s degree from NYU in Mass Communication, and has been working as a copy writer in advertising for 16 years.
Jessica had set two goals for herself before she turned 30 – to get her master’s degree and to live abroad. Having accomplished the first, she set out to research the second.
She found herself leaving NYC to live in London, which turned out to be for 6 years. Through that experience, Jessica learned about networking, confidence and resilience.
Listen in as we discuss early memories of stuttering, covert stuttering, anxiety and breathing. We also talk about public speaking – both Toastmasters and Transformational Speaking – and Jessica’s experience with the McGuire program in London. And so much more.
Feel free to leave comments or ask questions, or just let Jessica know what a great job she did. Remember, feedback is a gift.
The podcast safe music used in this episode is credited to ccMixter.
It’s Personal
Posted on: June 4, 2013
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I had one of those intimate stuttering moments today. You probably know what I mean.
I got caught in a block on the “k” in the word “keep” – came out something like “ki-ki-ki-ki-ki-ki-kiiiiii-eep.”
I say intimate in that I was looking at the person I was talking to as I blocked and we maintained eye contact through the block.
Neither of us averted our gaze. Our eyes just kind of locked, until I was able to finish the word and then move on. I then glanced away for a second and then glanced back, which I think is normal eye contact. The other person did too.
So why is this a big deal?
Well, stuttering can be very intimate. In a Google+ hangout recently, David, a co-founder of Stutter Social, discussed his view of the “intimacy of stuttering.” It’s my view too.
Getting locked up in a block for a few seconds and sharing that with another person is very personal. I showed my “imperfection” in a vulnerable way.
And to have the other person share that with you, as in maintaining eye contact, until the block is over, is extremely personal.
I appreciated this person’s willingness to stay present with me, as she could have easily averted her eyes out of embarrassment or discomfort. Or even to give me a moment to “collect myself.”
Staying with me in the moment was also a deep sign of respect.
We shared that very personal moment that was important enough to me to write about this today.
What do you think? Can you relate?
Virtual Stuttering Panel
Posted on: May 18, 2013
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Thursday night, I had the opportunity and privilege to participate in a Google Hangout panel that was streamed live on YouTube. How cool is that?
For National Stuttering Awareness Week 2013, a diverse panel discussed stuttering, feelings and myths in an effort to educate stutterers and non-stutterers about the daily reality of living with stuttering.
Several countries were represented, as well as a non-stutterer. Hearing her perspective was great!
I’m the one that’s hard to see, due to poor lighting on my end. However, seeing us really wasn’t the point – its hearing us talk about stuttering that is really important.
All of us will be posting this video on our respective social media platforms. Take a look and listen. We rattle off some real gems!
Make Your Voice Heard
Posted on: May 16, 2013
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Today’s post doesn’t have a lot to do with stuttering. Or maybe it does in some way.
Yesterday I had a conversation with someone who challenged me to find a way to make my voice heard. That was hard to hear, as I like to think my voice is loud and clear.
I am open with my stuttering, and have a voice in that community. I let my voice be heard in the Toastmasters community and my voice is certainly heard through this blog and various social media platforms.
But this was not a challenge about my literal voice. He was pushing me to find a way to have my figurative voice be present in a tough environment with a lot of pushback. We talked about the different meanings of voice, which did not include stuttering at all.
For the first time in a long time, I am considering stepping away from a tough situation, instead of “shaking it off and stepping up.” I’ve prided myself on doing that and encouraging others to do the same.
I mustered up the courage to say I think I need to bow out gracefully from a tough work situation. After much self talk, I had arrived at the decision that self-preservation and being happy was more important than the daily grind. That life is too short to be miserable every day.
But this individual would not let me off the hook! He pushed back and debated with me. He is convinced that I am supposed to be right in the thick of things and that my leadership and voice will strengthen and that I will be better for sticking it out. And that the work is important and worth it.
He challenged me to find new ways to collaborate, communicate and problem solve.
My insides are screaming that I’ve had enough, that as long as I can save face, it’s OK to bow out and still stand tall.
But I’ll admit I’m struck by this individual’s confidence in me that I can stay the course and emerge better, stronger and with new skills.
Having your voice heard means being active, not passive, which I am trying to convince myself is OK at this stage in my life and career.
My white flag was not accepted. So I have to figure out how to raise my voice another octave. And do that with grace.
To Fear Or Not To Fear
Posted on: May 9, 2013
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Stuttering requires a degree of fearlessness. In order to stutter openly, at some point, we have to lose the fear we have of being made fun of, or laughed at, or getting “the look.”
For most of us, letting go of that fear is hard to do. The fear of stuttering may indeed be more debilitating than the actual stuttering is.
I can well remember how worried I would always be of other people’s reactions if I stuttered. It goes back to childhood – of my father yelling at me when I stuttered, of the teacher who reprimanded me for stuttering, as if I was doing it purposely.
Those early experiences made the fear intensify. I feared the negative reactions more than the stuttering. The stuttering came and went. My perception that people thought there was something wrong with me stayed.
Fear drove me to hide my stuttering for a very long time. Even after “coming out” a few years ago, I still have moments where I try to hide it, or realize that I unintentionally hid it.
In one of the stuttering groups on Facebook, fear has been a recent topic. It never ceases to amaze me how many people are dealing with their “firsts” with stuttering. First time talking about stuttering openly, first time confronting emotions, namely fear.
These days, myself and other “stuttering veterans” are in a position to share our past experiences and hopefully help others with their first attempts at owning their feelings and fears.
It’s never easy. In fact, fear never really goes away, does it?
Very Little Interaction
Posted on: May 7, 2013
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I’ve noticed that on days when I have very little opportunity for speaking that my stuttering is more pronounced when I do finally speak.
Has anyone had that experience?
I’ll notice it when I have to make a telephone call, that I’ll trip or block on words that I hardly ever do. It must be the lack of practice!
My friend J has a similiar experience. He works from home every other week, so does not have that social contact and interaction that you usually find in the workplace.
He then has more silent blocks when he gets back to consistent talking.
I have suggested that he try voluntary stuttering in these situations. He doesn’t always take my suggestions.
I have tried voluntary stuttering myself, when I want to claim more control or even to advertise when I think I’m going to stutter a lot.
What do you think?
Confident Radiance – Episode 102
Posted on: April 26, 2013
Episode 102 features Samantha Agan, who hails from the San Francisco Bay Area of California. Sam is originally from Philadelphia.
Sam is a full-time college student studying psychology and also works full-time as a care giver for the elderly. Sam is planning to pursue her Master’s degree in psychology, with a long-term career goal of forensic psychology.
Sam and I “met” on one of the online stuttering forums. She has been an active and positive contributor to the Stuttering Arena group on Facebook.
Listen in as we discuss all things stuttering – early speech therapy experiences, stuttering as a disability, self-esteem and confidence. Listen to the part where we talk about confidence and you’ll see where the title of this episode came from!
This was a great conversation. It was fun getting to know Samantha and getting to know the person behind our social media postings.
Be sure to leave comments for Samantha when you listen, or just let her know what a great job she did.
The podcast safe music used in this episode is credited to ccMixter.
Katherine Preston’s Out With It
Posted on: April 15, 2013
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Be sure to check out Katherine Preston’s book, Out With It: How Stuttering Helped Me Find My Voice, which hits the shelves tomorrow April 16, 2013.
This memoir details the journey that took Katherine from her home in London to many different cities in the United States to find meaning in her stuttering.
I have met Katherine in person, and she was a guest on my podcast. In the episode “Think With Your Heart,” Katherine shares parts of her story with us and talks about her dream of having her book published.
It’s hard to believe that episode was in September 2010 and now we’ll actually be reading her book. A book written and published by a woman who stutters!
The book can be purchased by booksellers everywhere and is also available for digitial downloads. I’m looking foward to getting my copy from Amazon.
For more information on Katherine and her work, check out her blog Katherine Preston.
Stuttering As A Mental Disorder
Posted on: April 9, 2013
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There is quite a discussion roiling on one of the email groups about stuttering being renamed “childhood onset fluency disorder.” This classification will be found in the DSM-5, due to be released in May 2013.
The DSM is the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. All mental disorders (and medical conditions for that matter) are coded for insurance coverage and reimbursement purposes. Changing the name from stuttering allows for all communication disorders to be covered, and gives parents with kids who stutter more options for quality speech therapy that insurance companies will pay for.
That is the layman’s (mine) explanation, from what I’ve gleaned from doing some reading and understanding what one of the writers and contributors to the section on communication disorders shared on the email group.
Many in the stuttering community are finding this classification of stuttering as a mental disorder to be disturbing. Many of us who stutter do not believe that we have a mental disorder.
And this label might just further the beliefs, and myths, that stuttering is a psychological problem. Many walked away from the 2010 movie “The Kings Speech” believing that stuttering was caused by bad parenting and psychological reactions to trauma and bullying.
People who stutter already have trouble with bullying in school and often being assigned to special education classes, even though there is no learning impairment. There is also workplace discrimination, with employers not fully understanding stuttering and making assumptions about ability and stability. If employers get wind of stuttering now being classified as a mental disorder, that could further diminish employment opportunities for stutterers.
Some could argue that everything we do is “mental.” We use our mental faculties everyday to communicate and interact with the world.
I don’t think I have a mental disorder because of my stuttering. Maybe for other things, but not for stuttering! 🙂
What do you think? Would you feel comfortable being diagnosed with a mental disorder due to your stuttering?
Voting For A Stutterer
Posted on: April 6, 2013
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Well, Lazaro Arabos made it through another round on American Idol this week. In fact, voters put him in the top three this week.
This came as a surprise, since Lazaro forgot some lyrics in his duet performance this week, just like he did in last week’s performance. And Jimmy Iovine, the show’s mentor, had predicted that Lazaro should be in the bottom two or voted off the show.
The judges thought Lazaro’s solo performance of “We Are The Champions” was a perfect song choice for him, as the song signals that Lazaro is a champion after defying the odds to sing so well despite his severe stutter.
But many critics are saying that Lazaro is getting through when he should not, and at the expense of much better singers.
Do you think Lazaro is getting the sympathy vote? Do you think people are voting for him just because he stutters? To make a statement that finally, someone with a disability, can get this far?
I have been following the show every week this year. As a person who stutters myself, I greatly admire what Lazaro is doing. He is a great singer, but clearly struggles with interviews. But he does them anyway. He’s a great role model in that regard.
But I don’t think he is the better singer over some that have been eliminated since the top 10 was established.
If you are a person who stutters, are you rooting for Lazaro just because he stutters? Do you think he deserves to have made it this far? If you don’t stutter, what do you think?
Medical Model For Stuttering
Posted on: March 31, 2013
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Thanks to Google alerts, I received this update today, about the Kirkup Center for the Medical Treatment of Stuttering. The Kirkcup Center is associated with UC Irvine Health (in California.)
The center is (claims to be) the only program that treats stuttering as a medical condition, and combines medication and psychotherapy with speech therapy to reduce stuttering symptoms.
I find it interesting that this model uses the concept of symptoms to describe what we know as stuttering: frequent pauses, repetitions of words or phrases, prolongations and secondary behaviors. It’s of interest because symptoms are usually associated with a medical condition.
Most treatments for stuttering focus only on changing or modifying our speech, through traditional fluency shaping, stuttering modification, or avoidance reduction therapy.
This model suggests that stuttering can be treated as a medical condition, which for many people (in my opinion) might reduce the stigma of stuttering if it is seen as a medical problem.
A medical problem may seem more acceptable to many of us. It might not bring the same degrees of shame, guilt, fear and inadequacy that many of us now experience. With a medical model, self blame may be reduced, as we may think stuttering is not “our fault” much as cancer is not our fault.
What do you think? Is it more acceptable to you that stuttering be viewed and treated as a medical condition?
Taking On Courage
Posted on: March 19, 2013
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It’s amazing to see how many people who stutter are using social media to bolster their confidence and speaking skills.
The rise of Facebook groups for the stuttering community has really spurred people to take and create more opportunities to share a little about themselves in ways that were previously off-limits.
This evening, I strolled over to Stuttering Arena (on Facebook – a closed group with over 14oo members!) and watched several videos of people introducing themselves and stuttering openly on camera. This trend has been going on for months, but I usually don’t have time to watch and listen to more than one or two.
I think it’s amazing that people are taking these risks to open up and share.
It takes a lot of courage to record yourself stuttering and posting it publicly on a social media site.
Kudos to those of you doing so! If you haven’t, would you consider it?
Three Tough Cookies – Episode 101
Posted on: March 1, 2013
Episode 101 features three women who stutter who have all recently made their acting debuts. All three women live in New Jersey.
Katherine Filer is a long time computer consultant and recent life coach, Lucy Reed is a school based speech and language pathologist and Sue Camlin is a retired public school teacher who is involved in numerous community service activities.
All three ladies can also add “actress” to their resumes.
Listen in as the ladies discuss how this opportunity to be in a one-act play evolved, how it has impacted their lives and the importance of taking on brave things.
We talk about stuttering during rehearsals and the actual performance, the fear of forgetting lines and the joy of making a difference. The ladies plan to present their theatrical journey at a workshop for the 2013 National Stuttering Association conference, as well as take many next steps to further the journey.
What a great story! Feel free to leave comments or ask questions for any of the ladies in the comment section. Remember, feedback is a gift.
Below is a clip of the news coverage the ladies got on February 27, 2013.
The podcast safe music used in this episode is credited to ccMixter.
Make Room For The Stuttering 
What people are saying!