Author Archive
Showing Vulnerability
Posted on: January 7, 2014
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This is not directly about stuttering, but in a way, it is. This guy showed on a big stage how nerves and anxiety can get the best of any of us. The news shows are describing Mr. Bay’s performance as a “melt down” and “embarrassing stage fright.”
I took this a different way. I think he did us all a favor. He showed us that he’s human and felt anxious and vulnerable, like we all do from time to time.
How many of us, fluent or not, can relate to what happened here?
Book Review: Stuttering Is Cool
Posted on: January 2, 2014
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I had the recent privilege to read my friend Daniele Rossi’s first book, Stuttering is Cool: A Guide to Stuttering in a Fast-Talking World.
Rossi’s book can be purchased at his Etsy shop. If you enjoy reading books about stuttering, I encourage you to pick this one up. It is a light, easy read full of surprises.
I first met Daniele through the stuttering community on Twitter, and later learned of his website Stuttering is Cool. His website houses his podcast of the same name, and 101 links about stuttering.
A book seems a natural extension of Rossi’s podcast and website. His premise is that stuttering is nothing to be ashamed of and it is possible to stutter with confidence.
So, does he convey the same premise in the written book?
Answer: A resounding YES. The book is a fun, inspiring look at managing stuttering. Daniele infuses humor throughout. He uses his own comics to illustrate the book, and puts comments in the margins so you sometimes have to turn the book upside down and around in order to read it.
He also uses a genius page numbering system that once again conveys the humor that can be found with stuttering.
Daniele recounts his own personal experiences with stuttering and shares how he went from being fearful of stuttering and trying to hide it at all costs to now embracing stuttering in his life.
Daniele shares benefits of stuttering, as well as tools and “secret weapons” that a person can use to stutter with more confidence. He also shares a piece about change and how important it is to include family and friends on your stuttering journey, especially as you make key changes about acceptance.
I really enjoyed this book. I read several sections more than once and found myself nodding and saying “uh huh” as parts resonated with me. And of course I enjoyed being mentioned and having my thoughts about change included in such a positive, inspiring book.
As I previously mentioned, if you enjoy reading books about stuttering, get this one and add it to your library. It’s well worth it and will have you smiling about stuttering.
Kudos to you Daniele for a great first book! Congratulations!
Do You Stutter More?
Posted on: December 24, 2013
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Do you stutter more around the holidays? The Christmas holidays can be very stressful and tiring. People who stutter may find that their stuttering increases or is more noticeable around this time of year.
The holidays are often filled with increased socializing, office parties and gatherings with family members that you might only see once a year. It can be one thing for your family to know you stutter – but it can be another thing to actually stutter openly with family you don’t see regularly.
It can be daunting to initiate small talk at holiday gatherings or figure out when to jump into a conversation. And if you’re meeting people for the first time, like at holiday networking events, introducing yourself may be stressful. As we know, our names can be the toughest thing to say for some people who stutter.
I generally find that my stuttering is more noticeable at this time of year. The days are shorter, I get less sleep and it often feels very fast paced and frenzied. I stutter more when I’m tired and I’m very aware of that.
What about you? Do the winter holidays impact your stuttering one way or another? Is there anything you do to lessen the stress of stuttering around the holidays?
Nobody’s Perfect
Posted on: December 18, 2013
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I have spent a lot of valuable time in my life trying to be perfect. About lots of things – I always tried to be perfect in school, never satisfied unless I had a perfect score on a test or essay.
I’ve tried to be perfect on work assignments – spending time doing things over and over to ensure perfection, often doing work tasks at home during my free time in order to achieve the perfection I thought I had to have.
And I spent a lot of time trying to be perfectly fluent with my speech. I would switch words, rehearse over and over and avoid speaking situations where I feared I would stutter and not be able to cover it up.
Finally, I’ve reached a point in my life where I’ve come to accept my imperfections and actually embrace them. My imperfections are what make me uniquely me. I know longer try so hard to be fluent – I am what I am and if people don’t like it, that’s their loss.
There’s been a lot of talk in some of the Facebook stuttering groups about covert vs. overt stuttering. For me, covert always had to do with me thinking I had to be perfect. I’ve let that go, and openly stutter at work and socially. Nothing horrible has happened and people just accept me for who I am.
I’m glad that I have accepted me for who I am, because nobody’s perfect in this world.
Professional Stuttering
Posted on: December 13, 2013
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How many of you stutter professionally? That is, stutter on the job, openly without trying to hide it? I do!
It’s not always easy, as sometimes it feels awkward to allow myself to be so vulnerable in the workplace.
There used to be a time when I would switch words when I got into a block or stuttering moment. Or I would cough or clear my throat, anything to deflect attention away from that vulnerable moment.
Now, I just stay with it and allow myself to stutter, even when a tiny bit of embarrassment creeps in. I think that’s what I have the hardest time with – when I feel a flush of color to my necks and cheeks. I don’t actually feel embarrassed, but may LOOK embarrassed when that happens.
Has anybody had that happen? How does it make you feel? Are you OK with stuttering at work?
Interrupting
Posted on: December 3, 2013
From the Free Online Dictionary, the meaning of the word interrupt and it’s different forms.
in·ter·rupt
(n
t
-r
pt
)
v. in·ter·rupt·ed, in·ter·rupt·ing, in·ter·rupts
v.tr.
1. To break the continuity or uniformity of: Rain interrupted our baseball game.2. To hinder or stop the action or discourse of (someone) by breaking in on: The baby interrupted me while I was on the phone.
I think about the times I get interrupted. In the middle of a block, someone interrupts and fills in the word they think I was going to say. I sometimes feel disrespected when that happens.
I also think about how many times I actually interrupt another person who stutters, as it’s not always easy to tell when a person who stutters is done speaking or if they are in the middle of a block. It seems to happen a lot when I am chatting with someone over Skype for the podcast.
I usually wind up just apologizing and acknowledging that sometimes it just hard to gauge if the person is done speaking or indeed in a block.
Sometimes it’s hard to establish a rhythm between two people who stutter who are engaged in good conversation and good blocks.
Has it happened to you, that you accidentally interrupt someone who stutters while they’re in a block? How does it make you feel?
Hold Their Hearts-Episode 112
Posted on: November 27, 2013
Episode 112 features Rachel Dancy who hails from Saginaw, Michigan. Rachel works as a job coach at Do-All, Inc. which is an agency that supports people with developmental disabilities.
Listen in as we discuss how Rachel chose her field of work and the importance of having a supportive work environment. We talk a bit about negative reactions to stuttering and the best ways to handle them.
We also hear from Rachel’s boyfriend, Rick, who shared his point of view on being the partner of someone who stutters. We discuss interrupting and why that happens from time to time.
This was a very honest and insightful conversation and it was great getting to know both Rachel and Rick.
The podcast safe music clip used in this episode is credited to DanoSongs.
I Am So Lucky!
Posted on: November 24, 2013
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I am so lucky! I had the opportunity to talk to middle school kids on Friday about stuttering. I was invited to Tamarac Middle School to talk to their 6th, 7th and 8th grades about stuttering, as it ties in to their character education theme of the month – compassion.
I spoke at this same school 5 years ago and the coordinator looked me up and asked if I’d be willing to come back. I was thrilled and said yes immediately.
I taught the kids about what stuttering is and isn’t, we discussed myths and I showed them some famous people who stutter. I also had several activities for the kids to try, so they could experience first hand what stuttering feels like.
I had grapefruits and asked several young volunteers to come up and try to hide a grapefruit somewhere on their person where it wouldn’t show. This was to simulate covert stuttering.
I had Chinese finger traps that the kids used to experience getting stuck. We also did a writing exercise where several volunteers were told to write their name over and over as perfectly as they could. Then a kid would poke and jiggle their writing arm, making them mess up. This simulated knowing what we want to say but having something interfere.
I also had some volunteers take a deep breath, hold it and try to say their name. Laughs erupted when the kids squeaked out their name. The volunteers told us how their chest and throat hurt and how they felt they were running out of breath.
The kids asked great questions and competed with each other to get chosen to volunteer. At the conclusion of each talk (I gave three separate presentations) we ended with a stuttering contest and then talked about how learning about stuttering builds empathy and compassion.
It was a great experience. I am so lucky.
Good Analogies For Stuttering
Posted on: November 18, 2013
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A great blog piece came out last week, written by Madeline Wahl for The Huffington Post. Her piece is called “What It Actually Feels Like To Stutter.”
She uses such descriptive language to nail the feelings we have during stuttering moments. She describes stuttering as “dashing to make a connecting flight but being too late.” And “making it to the subway just to have the doors close in your face.”
She describes fluent conversation as a back and forth volleyball match, with the words flowing just right, until an “out-of-bounds” is called when stuttering emerges.
Wahl’s descriptive language and imagery perfectly describes those stuttering moments where we feel helpless and out of control.
The article has been shared numerous times in the stuttering community via social media posts, garnering lots of “likes” and comments.
Wahl writes that over time she has come to terms with her stuttering. She knows she is going to stutter every day. Yet she doesn’t focus on acceptance. She focuses on the moments when she is able to execute her words fluently.
She writes about “the exhilarating, skydiving-through-the-air moments (that) occur whenever (she) says a sentence without stuttering.” She practices tongue twisters in front of a mirror in order to perfect her speech and not stutter.
I don’t think she has really come to terms with her stuttering if she is celebrating her fluent moments and endlessly practicing to not stutter.
I would have liked to see her say something about acceptance.
What do you think?
My Name Is Cookie-Episode 111
Posted on: November 7, 2013
Episode 111 features Lois “Cookie” Green who hails from Fremont, California.
Lois is presently a photographer, owning her own business after retiring from a 25 year career working for an automobile manufacturing company.
Listen in to a great conversation about how Lois has managed her stuttering over her life time. She shares how she got the nickname Cookie, which is a story that many of us will be able to relate to.
Lois also shares about how a visit to a reflexology practitioner helped her to become fluent on two key words.
We also chat about management strategies, taking risks and becoming a leader. It was great getting to chat with Lois after getting to know her a bit through the Face Book stuttering groups.
Feel free to leave comments or questions for either of us, or just let Lois know what a great job she did. The podcast safe music used in this episode is credited to ccMixter.
Episode 110 features return guest Carolina Ayala who hails from Ajax, Ontario, Canada. Carolina and I are friends from attending the National Stuttering Association’s annual conferences and we stay in touch throughout the year.
Carolina works in the disability field with adults with intellectual impairments and is also a part-time educator at a local college. She also does volunteer work.
Listen is as we talk about the struggles Carolina has experienced at work related to her stuttering and the strategies she uses.
We also talk about the humanitarian mission work that Carolina has had the opportunity to do. She has gone on mission trips to Mexico, El Salvador, Thailand, Cambodia and most recently India. She shares some of the significant memories of the recent trip to India, of which she is very passionate about.
Carolina worked with exploited women in the Red Light District of Kolkata, and also spent time working with children whose parents are on the street.
She had the chance to meet a child who stutters, named Nata and tells us how she was able to share the stuttering experience with him.
Below is Carolina’s favorite picture from her trip to India – giving first aid to children on the streets.
The podcast safe music used in today’s episode is credited to DanoSongs.
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I saw an interesting link to a blog called The Stuttering Source on Facebook and decided to check it out. The link was to the recent post about when does stuttering therapy end for a person who stutters.
The blog is written by a SLP who works as a Fluency Clinic Supervisor at the National Speech Language Therapy Center in Maryland.
I’m always interested in stuttering blogs so I decided to look at older posts.
Imagine my surprise when I saw a video of myself in the next post, titled The 411 on Voluntary Stuttering. The blogger used my video (with credit and a link to my blog) as a springboard to talk about how she uses voluntary stuttering in therapy.
I had kind of forgotten I had done this video. Of course I watched it again and quite enjoyed it. Hope you do too!
Finding Confidence – Episode 109
Posted on: October 25, 2013
Episode 109 features Nelly Foster, who hails from Seattle, Washington. Nelly and I met at the National Stuttering Association conference in July 2013, her first conference.
Nelly recently graduated from college with a degree in psychology, but has decided she wants to pursue a career in speech language pathology.
Nelly attended the American Institute for Stuttering (AIS) in 2012 because she was looking to become more confident with her stuttering. At AIS, she met a SLP who stutters and was inspired by his confidence.
Listen in as we talk about job interviews, advertising stuttering, not letting stuttering define us, Toastmasters and the importance of role models.
We have a moment during our conversation where Nelly has a block and I am not sure when to resume talking. Nelly had to tell me she was done speaking. We were able to honestly discuss how that sometimes happens with two people who stutter.
I really enjoyed this conversation and the chance to get to know Nelly and hope you do too.
The podcast safe music used in this episode is credited to ccMixter.
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