Make Room For The Stuttering

Nobody’s Perfect

Posted on: December 18, 2013

I have spent a lot of valuable time in my life trying to be perfect. About lots of things – I always tried to be perfect in school, never satisfied unless I had a perfect score on a test or essay.

I’ve tried to be perfect on work assignments – spending time doing things over and over to ensure perfection, often doing work tasks at home during my free time in order to achieve the perfection I thought I had to have.

And I spent a lot of time trying to be perfectly fluent with my speech. I would switch words, rehearse over and over and avoid speaking situations where I feared I would stutter and not be able to cover it up.

Finally, I’ve reached a point in my life where I’ve come to accept my imperfections and actually embrace them. My imperfections are what make me uniquely me. I know longer try so hard to be fluent – I am what I am and if people don’t like it, that’s their loss.

There’s been a lot of talk in some of the Facebook stuttering groups about covert vs. overt stuttering. For me, covert always had to do with me thinking I had to be perfect. I’ve let that go, and openly stutter at work and socially. Nothing horrible has happened and people just accept me for who I am.

I’m glad that I have accepted me for who I am, because nobody’s perfect in this world.

Advertisements

2 Responses to "Nobody’s Perfect"

Amen Pam. You are so right on…there comes a time in our lives when we have to stop fighting and embrace all that we are. When I did this I saw all the gifts in my life that come my way when I am being me.

Hi Pam,

I can relate to your post.

Perfectionism is a trait that affects many people – not just those who stutter. There is nothing wrong with following a healthy pursuit of excellence – the problem arises when a person’s view of themselves is too dependent upon how well they think they are achieving their own demanding standards. In effect, their self-worth depends upon attaining/maintaining those standards.

Perfectionism can also lead to procrastination and avoidance. Persons are too afraid to attempt a specific task, or undertake a particular role, because of the fear that they are unable to achieve the high standard that they expect of themselves.

As you know, I undertake a busy public speaking programme within the community. A few weeks ago, I gave a humorous 50 minutes “tongue-in-cheek” talk to a group of senior citizens about the subject of growing older. I hadn’t given that particular talk for several months, so I guess I was a little rusty. On two separate occasions, I “went completely blank” and momentarily forgot my lines.

In the past, I would probably have become flustered and annoyed at my oversight. However, during recent years, I have learned to accept that we don’t have to be perfect.

I dealt with the above incidents by using them as examples of forgetfulness – one of the consequences of the ageing process. I laughed at myself and the audience laughed with me. 🙂

Thank you for sharing.

Kindest regards

Alan B

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Podcasts, Posts, Videos

Glad you're stopping by!

  • 482,588 visits

Monthly Archives!

Copyright Notice

© Pamela A Mertz and Make Room For The Stuttering, 2009 - 2017. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Pamela A Mertz and Make Room For The Stuttering with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. Same protection applies to the podcasts linked to this blog, "Women Who Stutter: Our Stories" and "He Stutters: She Asks Him." Please give credit to owner/author Pamela A Mertz 2017.