Nobody’s Perfect
Posted on: December 18, 2013
- In: Posts
- 2 Comments
I have spent a lot of valuable time in my life trying to be perfect. About lots of things – I always tried to be perfect in school, never satisfied unless I had a perfect score on a test or essay.
I’ve tried to be perfect on work assignments – spending time doing things over and over to ensure perfection, often doing work tasks at home during my free time in order to achieve the perfection I thought I had to have.
And I spent a lot of time trying to be perfectly fluent with my speech. I would switch words, rehearse over and over and avoid speaking situations where I feared I would stutter and not be able to cover it up.
Finally, I’ve reached a point in my life where I’ve come to accept my imperfections and actually embrace them. My imperfections are what make me uniquely me. I know longer try so hard to be fluent – I am what I am and if people don’t like it, that’s their loss.
There’s been a lot of talk in some of the Facebook stuttering groups about covert vs. overt stuttering. For me, covert always had to do with me thinking I had to be perfect. I’ve let that go, and openly stutter at work and socially. Nothing horrible has happened and people just accept me for who I am.
I’m glad that I have accepted me for who I am, because nobody’s perfect in this world.
2 Responses to "Nobody’s Perfect"
February 27, 2014 at 5:34 PM
Hi Pam,
I can relate to your post.
Perfectionism is a trait that affects many people – not just those who stutter. There is nothing wrong with following a healthy pursuit of excellence – the problem arises when a person’s view of themselves is too dependent upon how well they think they are achieving their own demanding standards. In effect, their self-worth depends upon attaining/maintaining those standards.
Perfectionism can also lead to procrastination and avoidance. Persons are too afraid to attempt a specific task, or undertake a particular role, because of the fear that they are unable to achieve the high standard that they expect of themselves.
As you know, I undertake a busy public speaking programme within the community. A few weeks ago, I gave a humorous 50 minutes “tongue-in-cheek” talk to a group of senior citizens about the subject of growing older. I hadn’t given that particular talk for several months, so I guess I was a little rusty. On two separate occasions, I “went completely blank” and momentarily forgot my lines.
In the past, I would probably have become flustered and annoyed at my oversight. However, during recent years, I have learned to accept that we don’t have to be perfect.
I dealt with the above incidents by using them as examples of forgetfulness – one of the consequences of the ageing process. I laughed at myself and the audience laughed with me. 🙂
Thank you for sharing.
Kindest regards
Alan B
Make Room For The Stuttering 
December 18, 2013 at 1:40 PM
Amen Pam. You are so right on…there comes a time in our lives when we have to stop fighting and embrace all that we are. When I did this I saw all the gifts in my life that come my way when I am being me.