Posts Tagged ‘stuttering’
There Is No Perfect
Posted on: April 28, 2015
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I read a post on a stuttering forum about a woman who has been asked to record a training video for her job.
She was asked to make this promotional video because she is good at her job and has a great attitude.
She posted that she really wanted to make the video but is afraid of “messing up” since her speech has been “really bad” lately. She said she wouldn’t want to do the video and have it turn out less than perfect.
Several people replied, encouraging her to take the chance and do it. Several other people wished her good luck and that they hoped she has good speech on the day of the recording.
I replied as well, encouraging her to do it and to be happy with her efforts no matter how her speech is on that given day. I said that imperfect people will probably be encouraged by seeing someone who isn’t perfect either.
None of us are perfect. Perfect doesn’t exist. Especially when it comes to the speech of people who stutter.
It has taken me a long time to believe this, for I grew up under the burden of trying to be a perfectionist in order to compensate for my speech. I thought if I was perfect at everything else, my stuttered speech wouldn’t be noticed and judged.
I was afraid of the judgement. If I didn’t sound perfect, I feared people would judge me negatively. Some did, as evidenced by the teasing and mimicking I tolerated growing up. Hell, I’ve been teased and mocked as an adult.
But I’ve slowly learned to shed the drive to be perfect. I think I am in recovery.
We can use all the tools and techniques we have to shape our speech into fluent speech. But if we stutter, we’re going to stutter. That’s all there is to it.
I hope the woman asked to do the video does it and stutters well. She doesn’t have to be perfect.
There is no perfect.
I Stutter Amazingly – Episode 139
Posted on: April 20, 2015
Episode 139 features Heidi Reynolds, who hails from Panama City, Florida. Heidi is 23 years old and works full-time as a nanny for twin children. She is also finishing up her undergraduate degree and is waiting to hear back from grad schools to which she has applied.
Heidi aspires to be a SLP and also wants to get her doctorate degree so she can research stuttering and eventually teach.
Listen in to a meaningful conversation about guilt. Heidi shares that she often feels a lot of guilt for listeners having to listen to her stutter. She is working on balancing that guilt with acceptance. She has reached a place where she feels comfortable with “this is me.”
We also discuss speech therapy experiences, use of speech tools, the Speech Easy device and so much more.
And we finish up by discussing the National Stuttering Association and the importance of self-help and support.
The podcast safe music used in today’s episode is credited to ccMixter.
Do We Ever Forget We Stutter?
Posted on: April 15, 2015
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I participated today in a great conversation about all things stuttering on the weekly Wednesday Stutter Social hangout.
We were talking about stuttering with confidence and whether practicing our speech increases confidence.
A couple of people mentioned that they intently practice speaking every day for one to two hours, to themselves. This practice helps those particular individuals feel more confident when they are speaking to others.
One guy mentioned that sometimes after practicing and feeling more confident, when he is speaking with others that he actually forgets he stutters.
I did a double take and mouthed “what?” I couldn’t wrap my brain around this.
The facilitator of the hangout asked us to reflect on “forgetting that we stutter” and think of a time where we might have experienced this.
To be honest, my first instinct was, “Nope I have never forgot that I stutter.” For years I tried to hide my stutter. I dealt with the mental gymnastics of word substitution and avoidance,which was a constant reminder of stuttering.
Now that I no longer do that (mostly) and stutter openly – more on some days than others- I am reminded every day that I stutter. Sometimes those stuttering reminders come at the most inopportune times.
But after the hangout was over and I thought about this some more, I found myself thinking that I sort of knew what the guy meant. There are times when I am very fluent and if I have a stuttering moment, it’s not really noticeable. At those times, when I’m not thinking of stuttering, I can understand how you can actually forget about stuttering.
At these times that I am not thinking about stuttering, I am also not acknowledging it. Perhaps by not acknowledging it, for a brief time, we can actually forget we stutter.
What do you think? Can you fathom ever forgetting that you actually stutter?
Physical Stutter
Posted on: April 10, 2015
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Interesting reference to stuttering!
I was watching an episode of “Nurse Jackie” on Showtime this week with a friend that also stutters. There was an interesting reference made to stuttering, which was comedic and meant to be funny.
A doctor character out of the blue grabbed the breast of the main nurse character. She became angry and immediately pulled away, saying something like, “are you kidding?”
The doctor explained that this was a reaction to stress that he gets, similar to Tourette’s Syndrome.
The doctor grabbed the same nurse’s breast later in the episode. She reacted the same way and the doctor responded with “I can’t help it. When I get stressed, I react like this. It’s like a physical stutter.”
Both my friend and I laughed. We weren’t at all offended by the reference to stuttering, which of course does not manifest itself in such a way.
What do you think? Would you have found it funny? Or do you think it was in poor taste?
Stammering Openly – Episode 138
Posted on: April 7, 2015
Episode 138 features Mery el Idrissi, who hails from Mehdia, Kenitra, Morocco. Mery is 17 years old and is in her last year of high school. She wants to be a doctor someday, specifically a dermatologist.
Listen in as we discuss growing up with a stammer, teasing as a youngster, friends and support, and stammering openly. Mery also discusses the challenge she has with relationships. She feels a lack of confidence when it comes to talking with boys, even though they know she stammers.
We also discuss the support and inspiration Mery gets from the Facebook group, Women Who Stammer, the only Facebook group exclusively for women who stutter.
This was a fun conversation with a lovely young lady who is a great communicator. Mery ends the conversation by sharing that we all have a voice and it must be heard.
The podcast safe music used in today’s episode is credited to ccMixter.
Episode 137 features Autumn Seigel, who hails from Wapakoneta, Ohio. Autumn is a 21 year old writer who will soon self-publish her first book, ReAwaken, which will be a young adult novella. She writes in the science fiction, paranormal genre.
Listen in as we talk about how Autumn got involved in writing and what it was like for her growing up with a stutter. Autumn also has a learning disability, which she is open about in our conversation.
We discuss Autumn’s experience last year at a two-week summer intensive stuttering camp through The University of Toledo Speech, Language and Hearing Clinic. It was the first time Autumn had met other people who stuttered like herself. She felt she gained fluency, confidence and a more positive mindset after completing the camp.
Autumn has her own blog, The Dreamer, where she describes herself as writer, artist and dreamer. Autumn also maintains an authors page on Facebook for more information on her book.
The podcast safe music used in today’s episode is credited to ccMixter.
Taking Stuttering In Stride
Posted on: March 26, 2015
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Like most people who stutter, I often find myself feeling self-conscious and vulnerable when I stutter publicly. I do a lot of public speaking for my job, and this is my busy time of the year. I have been conducting tours and presentations to prospective students interested in applying to our school.
Sometimes, I find myself hoping that I’ll be mostly fluent in my presentations so I don’t encounter teens snickering when I stutter during my talk. That’s happened often, as my fluency has been very inconsistent and teens don’t quite know how to react when they hear an adult unexpectedly stutter.
Today, I had a big group that was touring. I make a 15 minute presentation at the start of the visit and then take questions as we walk around on the tour. Sometimes, I find myself very fluent when giving these presentations, as I have to project my voice to a big group and that really helps with my control.
I was very happy today that I had a great speech today. What does that mean, a “great speech day?” For me, it means that I felt comfortable and in control while speaking and took the stuttering in stride. I had a few moments of stuttered speech but felt so comfortable that I didn’t let it bother me. I did not feel self-conscious or embarrassed and I did not experience any physical tension or blushing.
Being able to take the stuttering in stride is what it’s all about. We need to remember that good communication is about the message we are conveying, not whether we stutter or not. We can be excellent communicators and stutter.
When I was younger, I never believed that. I thought my stuttering meant I was doomed to be a poor communicator. Well, that is so wrong. I stutter and I’m a great communicator. Take it in stride.
What about you? Can you take your stuttering in stride and just be OK with it?
Stuttering And Stumbling
Posted on: March 20, 2015
This morning I was involved in interviewing high school students for a competitive, accelerated health and scientific research program for next school year. The teacher and I had a standard list of questions that we were asking all of the candidates.
These students are juniors in high school and most of them were quite nervous.
We asked questions geared to discover whether the students would be a good fit for a demanding, rigorous year-long program that requires a lot of reading, writing and public speaking.
One of the candidates shared that she is very shy and one of her weak areas is “talking out loud in front of people.” She went on to say that when she does, she often finds herself stuttering and stumbling and feeling embarrassed.
I mentioned to her that many people have a fear of public speaking and that practice is key. The teacher commented that I probably had a lot more to share on that. She knows I stutter.
So that opened the door for me to share with the student that I stutter, but I don’t let it stop me from public speaking. I shared with her about my involvement with Toastmasters and my years of practicing and honing my communication skills.
I could see the student visibly relax as I briefly shared with her about this.
After her interview was complete and she had left, the teacher and I talked about perhaps me coming into her class sometime and doing a presentation on stuttering, as it’s a fascinating subject that has research implications and the students spend a significant amount of time in this class on research.
We talked about genetics and the different brain studies that have been done. I was already beginning to flesh out in my mind what such a presentation to accelerated high school seniors would look like. We agreed to schedule a date for me to present in May. I’m going to try to make it during National Stuttering Awareness Week.
You never know when you might get a chance to talk about stuttering, so be ready!
Epi
sode 136 features Dori Lenz Holte, who is a parent of a child who stutters. Dori hails from Minneapolis, Minnesota and is the author of the book, “Voice Unearthed: Hope, Help and a Wake-Up Call for the Parents of Children Who Stutter.”
Dori also has a blog and a Facebook group offering support for the parents of children who stutter.
Dori says she wrote the book she wished she had read when she was starting out on the journey with her son Eli, who stutters and is now 18.
Listen in as Dori describes how traditional speech therapy affected her child and the frustration and desperation she and her husband felt as parents.
She talks about being told to “keep looking” for a speech therapist who was a specialist in stuttering. That period of “keep looking” added to the silence and withdrawal that her son was experiencing as a young child who was trying, and failing, to use speech tools and techniques.
Dori also discusses the need for parents to keep their eye on the big picture, which is to raise confident and happy children. And parents should listen to their instincts.
This was an important conversation. Thanks Dori for being a guest.
The podcast safe music used in today’s episode is credited to ccMixter.
Human Nature And Stuttering
Posted on: March 2, 2015
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Last night, in my bi-weekly Stutter Social Google+ Hangout, we had a great conversation about whether stuttering is part of human nature. There were varying opinions among the eight people involved in the discussion. Some felt pretty strongly that stuttering can’t be part of human nature since it only affects 1% of the population.
Others felt pretty strongly that it must be part of human nature since differences in height, vision and intelligence are part of human nature.
We got into discussing nature vs. nurture and whether stuttering is environmentally based.
And we discussed what is normal vs. abnormal, as somel felt that stuttering is abnormal speech.
Towards the end of the conversation, people pretty much decided for themselves personally whether stuttering is part of their human nature.
Stuttering is part of my nature. And I’m human, so I’d say stuttering is part of my human nature. It is a part of me that makes me ME. It’s in my makeup, part of my being, part of my brain. So, yes, I believe that stuttering is part of human nature.
Let’s continue the conversation. What do you think? Is stuttering part of human nature?
Validation
Posted on: February 24, 2015
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This comment was left on my blog last night. I wanted to share it with readers, because, it has to be shared. This could be any of us!
I am considering joining Toastmasters, something I’ve been advised to do for years, but am now getting nervous because I’m finally going to do it. So..I’m here researching what to expect from Toastmasters and I came across your blog.
I have been a closeted stutterer most of my life and the fear of being exposed as a stutterer is often greater than the actual emotional pain of stuttering. Your blog is very inspiring to me and I hope that one day I can reach your level of acceptance. I think you make great points about how choosing not to hide your stutter can open up a new world for you.
For some reason, when I was approaching middle school, it didn’t bother me to tell people that I stuttered when they’d ask (usually with a grin or impending giggle on their face) “why do you talk like that?” It was nothing, back then, for me to respond by saying “well, because I stutter!”..a year later, my stutter went away for some reason.
I remember volunteering to read aloud, always thinking that my stutter might present itself–but I didn’t care, I spoke freely. I joined the Spelling Bee, I could show my classmates and teacher just how articulate I really am; I was confident, for real, for once. Then, for whatever reason, my stutter and all of its insecurities came back the next year.
I began stuttering when I was 9 and throughout the course of my life, thus far, my speech impediment has gone away 3-4 times in my life. I have finally reached a point, now that I’m pushing 40, that I am not trying to ‘make it go away’–I am merely trying to be the best person I can be. I am finally ready to eliminate my fear and conquer what I have allowed to hold me back in so many ways throughout my life.
I will not allow this to control me, instill fear in me or take hold of me any longer. I’ve “dumbed it down” and relaxed myself in slang because it proved to be an easy out for me. I could navigate that, and all the persona that comes with it much easier than I could master working on speech techniques and trying to overcome the only thing I needed to overcome–my fear of being laughed at. My fear of being pointed at. My fear of being rejected for something that is a part of me.
Your blog gave me the validation I needed to go ahead and join a Toastmasters chapter and work toward becoming that articulate person once more. Thank you!
Working Harder – Episode 135
Posted on: February 17, 2015
Episode 135 features Ashley Marcinkiewicz, who hails from Clifton Park, NY. Ashley is currently a PhD student at the University of New Hampshire, where she is studying microbiology. As a PhD student, Ashley teaches biology courses. She also enjoys hiking and outdoors activities.
Listen in as we discuss what it’s been like teaching and how Ashley has handled advertising her stuttering. We also discuss techniques and tools Ashley uses for when she gives presentations.
We talk about speech therapy experiences, the importance of attitude in how we approach our stuttering and how stuttering can be used as a benefit.
We also discuss the importance of community and learning from others’ perspectives about stuttering.
This was a great conversation, full of honesty and humor. Feel free to leave comments or ask questions in the comment section.
The podcast safe music used in today’s episode is credited to ccMixter.
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Reading Aloud And Stuttering
Posted on: January 23, 2015
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I had a situation this week that brought back all the bad memories of reading aloud in school. Oh, how I hated to do that. Like many who stutter, I attempted all kinds of strategies to get out of reading aloud, as I always stutter when I can’t switch words and feel the pressure of others listening and watching.
I remember counting ahead to when it would be my turn and frantically trying to read the section and rehearse it in my head before my turn came. Or when there was only two people ahead of me, I would suddenly have to go to the bathroom or get sick and ask to see the school nurse.
I still have a piece of pencil lead in my hand from when I stabbed myself with a pencil so that I could go to the nurse’s office. Just to get out of reading aloud in class and feeling humiliated.
I sit on the Board of a non-profit literacy organization. We had our board meeting this week. The Director wants to introduce sharing the profiles of some of the individuals we serve at every meeting.
She had a list of about six paragraphs, each describing the profile of an individual on the waiting list to get literacy tutoring services. She thought we should share the wealth and each of us read one of the profiles aloud.
My mind went right to panic mode. My first instinct was to somehow figure out a way to opt out. I did not want to stutter in front of my fellow board members. I was new, so several of them did not know that I stutter. I didn’t want them to find out about my stuttering when I’m at my best with it.
After a quick moment of pondering how I would explain that I didn’t want to read aloud – sore throat, laryngitis – I realized that it would be worse for me to opt out. I just needed to do it like everyone else and be as smooth and confident as possible.
So, that’s what I did. When it was my turn, I read my paragraph and stuttered on about every other word. During the stuttering moments, I felt my face flush and felt embarrassed. But it was over quickly and we moved on to the next item of business on the agenda.
No one reacted. I didn’t sink into the floor or get hit by lightening. The worst that happened is that now everyone there knows I stutter. It’s out there now, so I won’t have to worry about it anymore.
How do you react when something like this happens?
Make Room For The Stuttering 
What people are saying!