6 Responses to "Are You Sure?"
February 6, 2015 at 7:15 PM
My usual response if I get the “oh, did you just forget your name?”-style treatment is to go “no, I have a speech disorder,” possibly with an added spiel about how I am happy to repeat myself or write something down/spell it out if they’re having trouble understanding me.
This tends to shut people up quite well (and once ended with the person in question basically grovelling in apology). It also has the advantage that you can basically vary the style of delivery anywhere from “polite and helpful, treating this as an understandable lack of knowledge on your part I can alleviate” to “WTF I cannot believe you just said that do you point and laugh at people in wheelchairs too” depending on the situation and how nasty the person in question was.
That said, I’ve never used it in a professional situation and am not sure I’d have the courage to in one like you describe!
February 10, 2015 at 8:43 AM
Kaz – thanks for the reply and feedback. I always worry about embarrassing the person who just embarrassed me by pointing out that I stutter. I feel bad when someone apologizes profusely and is clearly mortified, as that is never my intention, but I suppose I shouldn’t really worry about that. Right?
February 24, 2015 at 1:53 PM
i get that alot. Almost every job I’ve had involves some heavy phone time. Sometimes if I’m in a pleasant mood, I laugh it off and say, “oh my gosh it’s Monday, you know how it is!” or “Guess I’m just too ready for the weekend!” But I always, always ALWAYS got joy out of not responding, allowing an uncomfortable (for them) silence and then saying “so… how may I help you?” Only once did I say to a caller, in a lighthearted and jovial, but stern voice: “well (chuckle) I have a slight stutter so I guess it’s funny but it’s the way God made me”. Nothing is better than saying that to someone who asks the old “(ha ha) are you sure??” question
February 24, 2015 at 1:59 PM
do any of you also seem to gravitate to another stutterer when you meet them? I attended a conference once and one of the speakers was a stutterer. he was just speaking on zoning and land use and I don’t think anyone picked up on his stutterer. But, we know our own (lol) and I walked up to him after and said “I enjoyed your presentation, very interesting!” because, you know, I had to sound like I was actually paying attention to the words coming out of his mouth not HOW the words were coming out of his mouth. Then I said, “do you stutter?!” he was hesitant–I imagine because, as we all do, he’s wondering what the result of the inquiry will be. He said “yes” and I responded “me too!” I think he was totally weirded out but to meet someone like me, when I had been hoping to have to not engage with networking small talk with strangers was like a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. I always feel like I’ve found my long lost family member when I meet a fellow stutterer. LOL
Make Room For The Stuttering 
February 5, 2015 at 9:52 PM
While tempted to respond, I likely would have also resisted. Having been in that situation several times, I’ve found polite directness to work well. I don’t laugh or play along, but rather just pause and say, “How can I help you?” or something to that effect. The listener usually gets the point more clearly than if I had explained her rudeness, and I don’t have to resort to being snarky.
Thanks for all your great posts. You are always insightful and inspiring.
February 6, 2015 at 1:56 PM
Hi Dan – thanks for reading and for the great comments. I agree with you – it’s important we resist the urge to be snarky! 🙂