Posts Tagged ‘stuttering support’
Don’t Stay Home – Episode 85
Posted on: April 23, 2012
Episode 85 features Jolene Bower who hails from Calgary, Alberta, Canada. Jolene works in purchasing for an oil and gas company, and is also in university, studying psychology. She starts graduate school next fall to study speech language pathology.
Jolene talks about why she wants to become a speech therapist, and therapy experiences she has had. We talk about fluency shaping, and how hard it can be sometimes to transfer those skills into “real life” experiences.
Jolene also shares about her experiences at a three week intensive therapy at ISTAR (Institute for Stuttering Treatment and Research) at the University of Alberta in Edmonton.
We talk about what it was like for Jolene to start stuttering at the age of 15, which is considered late onset. Research indicates that most stuttering starts in childhood, between the ages of 2 and 5.
We also discuss choosing not to talk, finding our identity, apologizing and reaching the point of not caring what others think!
Jolene also shares that she just recently started a local stuttering support group in her community and how that is going.
Listen in to a great conversation between two women who stutter. Feel free to leave comments or let Jolene know what a great job she did. Feedback is a gift!
Music used in this episode is credited to ccMixter.
Episode 81 features Vivian Sisskin, who is a SLP and Board Recognized Specialist in Fluency Disorders. Vivian is on the clinical faculty at the University of Maryland. She has specialized in stuttering for over 30 years, and has “loved every minute of it.”
Vivian is also active with the National Stuttering Association, and is a moderator of the popular discussion group Stutt-l.
I have heard Vivian speak at a number of stuttering conferences over the last several years, and got the chance to really talk with her quite a bit at last year’s FRIENDS conference in Washington, DC. Vivian has also been very supportive and encouraging of this podcast that gives voice to the stories of women who stutter.
When I first heard Vivian present a session about her avoidance reduction therapy, I found I couldn’t get enough of it. Learning how to avoid avoidance behavior resonates strongly with covert stutterers, which I “thought I was” for many years.
I am privileged and honored to have Vivian as a guest, to share what avoidance reduction therapy is, why it is so powerful, and how she specifically approaches the work in therapy.
One of the themes Vivian shares in this powerful episode is change – the act of doing leads the way to change. Be sure to check in, and feel free to leave feedback.
Music used in this episode is credited to ccMixter.
Episode 80 features return guest Elaine Robin, who hails from Seattle, Washington. For this great episode, Elaine shares from her present location, which is Shanghai, China. Elaine is a SLP who stutters and first shared her story here in episode 43.
I was excited to have Elaine back on the show, to tell us about her experiences living in China. An opportunity became available for Elaine to work in Shanghai for a year at a speech clinic. Elaine shares with us the excitement and culture shock of moving to, and living in, a very different part of the world.
We talk about stuttering, of course, but also about the fascinating perspective of an American who does not speak Chinese trying to navigate in a new country. We talk about the Chinese educational system, how disabilities are viewed and handled and the stark differences between Eastern and Western cultures.
Elaine also had the opportunity to travel to India at the end of December 2011. She had planned a visit to India while in Asia anyway, and had the unique opportunity to visit and attend the first ever Indian National Conference for people who stutter. The conference was organized and hosted by The Indian Stammering Association.
Listen in as Elaine describes the profound moments she experienced as a small group came together to celebrate, learn and support each other about stuttering. We discuss advertising, acceptance, self-help and pushing out of comfort zones.
Elaine also shares the very personal insights she learned about facing fears, taking chances and what she has learned about herself.
Please leave feedback here in the comment section. We would love to hear from you.
Music used in this episode is credited to ccMixter.
(Also, note there may be a couple of editing errors in the audio. Sue me – I do the best I can!)
Are Forums A Safety Net?
Posted on: January 13, 2012
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I had an interesting chat with my sister over dinner this past weekend. We are both on Facebook and she has been communicating with a couple of people I know through a stuttering forum.
Don’t ask how it started, but she has become friends with several people and was “added” to a forum by a member.
Some people might have a problem with a non-stutterer being a member of such a group. Personally, I think it’s a great idea that anyone interested in learning more about stuttering be “allowed” to engage and participate in group discussions.
My sister mentioned that she has chatted quite a bit with one person, including chatting over the phone a few times. This woman who stutters has mentioned to my sister that the group has been a great source of support for her.
Many of the group members have talked her through various confidence issues and encouraged her to take chances with speaking that she previously never would.
My sister mentioned that when they have talked over the phone, this woman sounds great and that her stutter is very mild, saying, “it’s like yours, Pam.”
My sister also went on to say that she doesn’t really understand why then this person would seem so overly concerned about talking and taking chances publicly.
I reminded my sister that there is a huge amount of shame involved in stuttering and that’s why these stuttering forums are so popular and successful with people who stutter. If you look at some of the forums, it is not uncommon to see 50 or 60 responses to questions or posts by members.
Why? Because it is infinitely easier to express ourselves in writing, behind the relative safety of a computer screen, than it is to have real-time conversations over the phone, Skype or in-person. My sister said “no, that can’t be true. Look how much back and forth there is. Look how much this woman has been helped.”
I said, “yes, but it is all through writing. It is much safer to express our self in writing. We don’t stutter then. It becomes the safety net for the huge amount of shame that a lot of people who stutter still deal with.”
My sister just looked at me and said, “I never thought of that. That makes sense. Wow, you’re probably right.”
What do you think? Do you think online stuttering groups or forums become a safety net for some people, a way to not have to talk?
From Mumbai to New York
Posted on: December 23, 2011
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For the past several months, I have been communicating with a young man who stutters from Mumbai, India. His name is Devayan, and we started emailing each other in September.
Devayan learned about me after getting actively involved in the internet stuttering community. He started listening to StutterTalk and my own podcasts here and reading this blog.
Devayan connected with me by email in the fall, after realizing that I live in upstate New York, close to a college he was interested in attending. Devayan was hoping to come to the United States to pursue graduate studies in speech language pathology.
He asked my opinion on the graduate essays he was submitting to two colleges. He wanted my honest feedback. He got that, maybe even more than he bargained for!
Devayan didn’t mention in his first draft essay to The College of St Rose that he stuttered. I thought he should, as that would set him apart from other candidates. That and the fact that he is also a HE. Male SLP students are fairly rare.
So I suggested that Devayan rewrite his entire essay! He did, and soon after sending it in, he emailed me to let me know he had passed the first phase of admission. He would now be invited for a face-to-face interview.
We discussed that, and I suggested he ask if he could interview via Skype. It took a while for the college to confirm that a Skype interview would work. So in the interim, Devayan asked if we could chat via Skype. He wanted to pick my brain!
We coordinated the time zone difference and finally “met” over Skype, where we had a great conversation about what to anticipate in the graduate admission interview. Since that time, we have chatted via Skype a few times.
Soon after Devayan had his graduate student interview, he emailed me to let me know he was accepted. Then, in the course of just weeks, he satisfied his student visa interview and purchased his plane tickets to fly from Mumbai, India to Albany, New York, USA.
Devayan is scheduled to arrive here sometime in the first week of January 2012. We plan to meet in person soon after that, which to me is amazing and so meaningful.
It is amazing to think that one person can impact another in such a huge way that one is willing to make such a leap of faith and move half way across the world. It shows the power of connection, and what happens when we share our personal experiences honestly with another.
I don’t think either of us thought in September that we would be really planning to meet in person in January. But we are!
And the flurry of emails continues. I have given Devayan some ideas of what clothing to pack and buy for the cold Northeastern part of the USA, which is quite different from India. And he has asked me about joining Toastmasters here, as he joined a club recently in Mumbai, and wants to stay involved with that once here.
I am excited to introduce him to some of my friends here in New York, and get him involved in our monthly Chat & Chew social gathering of people who stutter.
This will be a huge change for my young friend from India. One that will change his life. And one that will likely change many lives when he eventually returns to India, armed with new tools and resources to help other people who stutter.
People who stutter can help other people who stutter, one person at a time, just by opening up, talking, sharing and connecting.
I look forward to adding more details to this story as it continues to unfold, and adding a picture of the two of us when we finally meet in person.
Producer note: This is the third episode in the very occasional series I do with men who stutter.
As you can see, my graphic designer and friend (Daniele Rossi)provided me with a new logo. I changed the name slightly to include the word “stutter” in the title so listeners can more easily find these special episodes.
So please look periodically here on the blog for these great conversations. They will also be downloadable on iTunes.
This 3rd episode features Vivek Singh, who hails from Pune, India. Vivek is 29 years old and very active in the self-help stuttering community in India. He is a computer engineer, and leads a weekly self-help group in his workplace that is supported by his corporation. I believe this is the first I have heard of this!
Vivek is a man of many interests. He enjoys reading books that help him explore the meaning of life with a scientific basis. He also enjoys inspirational reading, and all things physics.
Listen in as we discuss how Vivek became so immersed in the self-help movement and what continues to drive him. We also discuss his mastery of concealing his stuttering, acceptance, temporary fluency, first impressions, therapy and so much more.
To learn more about Vivek, please see his 2011 ISAD paper My Journey As A Stammerer.
Please feel free to leave comments for Vivek and me too. Feedback is so important. Music used in this episode is credited to ccMixter.
Safe But Scary – Episode 66
Posted on: September 8, 2011
Episode 66 features Jennifer, who hails from Kingston, Ontario, Canada. Jennifer is in Kingston while attending school pursuing her graduate degree in engineering physics.
Her long-term goal is to work in research and development to be a part of the next great technology advances.
Jennifer and I first “met” via one of the stuttering email groups. She took the plunge to start sharing on the covert-S group. It turns out Jennifer also attended her first National Stuttering Association (NSA) conference in Ft. Worth, Texas this past summer. We met very, very briefly and shook hands!
Jennifer and I discuss her career path and our shared interest in technology, particularly women in science, before we really get into stuttering!
We talk about how Jennifer first made the decision to make some changes in her life, and how important it was for her to hear other people who stutter, when she first found stuttering podcasts.
She also mentions how cool it was to meet Elaine and Patrice, who she had listened to on earlier podcasts.
We also discuss disclosure, advertising, moments of regret and her “border crossing” story!
Credit for the podcast safe music used in this episode goes to ccMixter. Feel free to leave comments for Jennifer or just let her know what a great job she did. Feedback is a gift.
Joy and Playfulness – Episode 65
Posted on: August 29, 2011
Episode 65 features Guðbjörg Ása Jóns Huldudóttir, or Gudda, an actress who hails from Reykjavík, Iceland. We chatted while Gudda is in Wroclaw, Poland, where she is in residence at the Grotowski Institute with her theater company, Bred in the Bone.
Gudda got involved in theater when she was about 23 years old. She started off taking some evening classes and then joined a non-professional acting group in Reykjavík. It was only after she had become involved with the Icelandic Stuttering Association (Málbjörg) that she gained the self-confidence and courage to have a go at theater.
Gudda shares how she first became involved with the stuttering community as a young person at an ELSA conference (European League of Stuttering Associations.)
She shares hearing for the first time ever a person who stutters give a public speech. That person was Anita Blom, who is an inspiring presence in the global stuttering community. Gudda has since facilitated her own theater workshop at an ELSA conference. She shares how wonderful it was to bring the joy and playfulness of theater to young people who stutter.
We also discuss advertising stuttering and educating others. As she puts it, we have stuttered all of our lives and are used to it. We have to take care of those who are not, to reduce misunderstanding and patronization.
Credit for the podcast safe music used in this episode goes to ccMixter. Tell us what you think of this episode. Feedback is a gift!
What We Took Away – Episode 61
Posted on: July 22, 2011
Episode 61 is a first for me. This is the first time I have recorded with several women at different times and attempted (notice I say attempted) to string the clips together into one cohesive episode. Here’s where we will separate the professionals from the amateurs. I am definitely in the latter category!
I started my journey with pod-casting saying that if producing these episodes became too much like work, I would quit. I have always tried to keep the episodes as simple as possible. That has not been hard to do, given my limited audio tech skills.
Sharing the unique stories of women who stutter continues to be very special for me, and I love to do it. So even trying something new did not scare me off.
This episode features three women who all were previous guests. We chat about their experiences at the recent National Stuttering Association conference. One woman attended for her first time, and the other two attended their second conferences. All three share their thoughts, reflections and take home lessons.
This was a great way for us to process this shared experience. Although it was a shared experience, it impacted each woman differently. Listen in as I chat with Anna Margolina, Nina Zito and Sarah Bryant. We talk a little bit about a lot of things, but mainly how it feels to attend a conference where stuttering is the norm.
Thanks to all three of you for taking the time to share your thoughts and reminding us all how special it is to come together as a stuttering community.
The podcast safe music used in today’s episode is credited to ccMixter.
Texan Stuttering At It’s Best
Posted on: July 19, 2011
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I am so glad I had my trusty Flip recorder with me when Vicki Schutter got up to speak at one of the general sessions at the National Stuttering Association conference. Vicki tells an incredible story of selflessness and support about her good friend Russ Hicks, a long time NSA member.
Watch and listen as Vicki’s story unfolds, and then how Russ reacts.
Being part of the stuttering community means more than just stuttering support. It also means behind-the-scenes acts of love and support for the relationships that are built among people. For that’s what we really celebrate in the stuttering community – the relationships!
This story moved me, for many reasons! I hope it moves you too!
400th Post! NSA Workshop Summaries
Posted on: July 16, 2011
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Here are summaries from some workshops presented at this year’s National Stuttering Association annual conference recently held in Texas!
I am also gratified to have reached a milestone. This is my 400th post since starting this blog in February 2009!
There were so many workshops to choose from at the same time. It’s almost unfair to have to choose. So I asked fellow attendees to summarize some of the best workshops they attended. Helps me, helps you, helps all.
You Are Changed By What You Do: “Shame-Busting” Through Avoidance Reduction Therapy. This was the most powerful workshop for me, led by Vivian Sisskin. She and several people that participate in her therapy groups led us through how to reduce shame by learning to face our fears and re-define success and progress. I listened to Vivian speak last year and became fascinated with her approach to avoidance reduction.
Shame was always my biggest issue, and learning even to identify that is hugely empowering. I have read several books on shame reduction and shame resilience over the last year as well, that has helped me move toward more acceptance of my feelings and emotions.
My friend Brandon shares his take away points from two workshops that resonated with him.
Release Fear, presented by Zaheen Nanji and NSA Career All-Stars, presented by Beth Bienvenu, Jim McClure, Tracey Wallace, Gregg Benedikt, and John Moore.
Brandon writes, “As I find myself looking for a new career opportunity I realized that the work place is my final frontier. From experience in working outside my comfort zone, I know what needs to be done but wanted to hear it from others that are doing it. The Release Fear workshop turned the abstract concept of “facing what you fear to create change” into a logical evaluation to expose the cost of making or not making the change. This workshop helped me to see that some discomfort now while facing challenging speaking situations will lead to a more open and balanced life in the future.”
He goes on to share, “Do you remember growing up thinking, “Damn, am I the only one that stutters?” Then you find an organization like the NSA and know you are not alone. Witnessing a person stuttering in the workplace is like a Bigfoot sighting for me. It is exciting and a bit scary depending on how far away I am from it.
I still feel I have one foot stuck in the mud with regard to the workplace, so I was excited to hear from the NSA Career Stars. Hearing first hand from these successful people that stutter in the work environment took away a lot of the mystery I had built up around it.
I loved the slogan “Participation is the Price of Admission”. A few years back I realized that in order to be more at ease with stuttering I would need to take it to the street. Originally I was misled to think I could practice in hiding then put the show on for all to see. I realized I was just going to have to be ME!
One of the biggest changes I had to make was to start using the world as my practice. Hearing it again from one of the speakers pinpointing the workplace really hit home for me. The phrase “Participation is the Price of Admission” has many meanings for me. Regarding stuttering, it reinforces that I need to work my speech agenda step by step, speaking up and sharing my ideas and concerns, and interacting, all for the admission to a better more fulfilling life.”
Brandon – thanks so much for sharing these thoughts and how helpful these presentations were for you!
My friend Anna shares her thoughts on some workshops she attended. Anna was a first time attendee to the conference and also presented at the Toastmasters workshop! I have so much material here that I will include her two other summaries in my next post.
Laughter Yoga – The Fun Part of Everyday presented by Judith Newman.
Anna writes: “When was last time you really laughed? Not smiled, chuckled or giggled, but laughed, openly, heartily, loudly, without inhibitions? If you can’t remember, you should check out laughter yoga classes. As Judith explained, laughter is very beneficial to our body and our brain – so we should do it often. You can do it alone and your body won’t know the difference between a “fake” laugh and the real thing.
But it is easier to burst into open laughter in a group, under the guidance of a laughter Yoga leader. For 45 minutes we did silly exercises and laughed so hard, my insides started to hurt. Regarding stuttering, it is not a therapy. But laughing with all your might, while looking a stranger in the eye, is definitely something that I don’t do in my everyday life. To me it was very liberating. To my non-PWS husband – a bit too weird.”
Thanks Anna for taking the time to share these thoughts.
In my next post, I will have two more summaries from Anna, on Dr. Baker’s Speech – Treatment Innovations and Journey of Hope presented by Robert Baker Ph.D. and Going Beyond Stammering with Confidence presented by Maria McGrath (who has been a guest on this podcast).
And I will have a summary from Alex on his powerful thoughts on the keynote by Neal Jeffrey.
I also have a few live videos from the conference that I will post, once I have secured permission from those recorded. Feel free to leave comments, so that the folks who took the time to write these up, and me, know that you found it helpful.
Good Stuttering Stories
Posted on: July 12, 2011
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On the heels of the National Stuttering Association conference just completed in Ft Worth, Texas, there has been several good stories in the media. One was written by a first timer to the conference, and one features a long-time NSA member.
I had the pleasure of hearing Aman Kumar, a first-time attendee, speak at the Thursday afternoon Open Mic session. I always love open mic time, as it gives people the chance to speak freely – to take as long as they need, free of judgement and to sit down to wild applause by all listeners.
Turns out, Aman writes a blog for Psychology Today online, called Words Fail Me. His recent post, The Catharsis of Communicative Diversity, eloquently summarizes his first experience at a stuttering conference. You should definitely take the time to read this!
A good friend, Cynthia Scace, has been attending NSA conferences for years. I actually first met her at a College of St Rose Weekend Workshop for people who stutter. She missed last year’s conference, so it was so nice to see her this year and catch up, albeit for the short time we did. It is so hard to connect with all the people you really want to with over 800 people and only three full days!
Cynthia was featured in this great article in the Gazettenet, Approaches to therapy shifts with time, where she talks a bit about her stuttering experience and that of her son, who began stuttering at three years old.
Another great story appeared in the Gazettenet, featuring two young adults talking about their experiences navigating the world with a stutter. The writer, Suzanne Wilson, does a great job with both pieces. Check out this terrific story, Speaking Out: telling their stories helps people who stutter lessen their isolation.
Finally, here is a really good article from the Star-Telegram out of Ft Worth, Texas about David Seidler’s keynote speech at the NSA conference. Definitely take a look at this, Oscar-winning screenwriter who overcame stuttering delivers message of hope.
These are all good media pieces featuring real people who live life with stuttering everyday. Great to see so much coverage only days after the best attended conference yet. I still feel a bit on my high from such a great weekend, especially with meeting so many new people.
Stay tuned for summaries of some of the best workshops offered during the three-day conference. Since I can’t be in 10 workshops at once, I have enlisted the support of a few friends who graciously wrote up (or will) why these workshops so resonated with them.
Now I Understand
Posted on: July 11, 2011
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Me and David Seidler, Academy Award Screenplay writer of "The King's Speech"
Just got back from the annual National Stuttering Association conference in Ft Worth, Texas. It was a great weekend. Now that I have attended six consecutive conferences, I feel quite at home there and love recognizing old friends and meeting new ones so quickly.
Time after time, this weekend, I heard the phrase, “now I understand.” Even if you are meeting someone for the first time, you feel as if you already know each other because of the bond we share. That automatic feeling that the other person knows exactly what you are thinking and feeling, and that the shared experience of our unique difference is powerful.
I had a great conversation with a friend from my home town who was attending his first NSA conference. After meeting people and telling them where he was from, many asked if they knew me (which is hugely gratifying to feel known in this tight-knit community.) But my friend also mentioned that he finally understands how powerful being part of the stuttering community is, after only experiencing himself for 2 days.
He and I are in the same community here at home, yet I do not participate in any of the stuttering events at the local college that has an active program for people who stutter. I have deeply felt that void in my life, having a stuttering community right in my backyard that I do not feel a part of. My friend told me that now he really gets how powerful community is, after his own experience feeling embraced immediately by the NSA community.
I was glad to have shared that conversation with my friend, and many more deeply significant conversations and moments from this incredibly powerful four-day weekend with over 800 people who stutter or care about people who stutter.
Later in the week, I will provide an update of the three workshops I participated in as facilitator, and two other terrific sessions that I participated in. And I will share some of the best tidbits and moments from some of the unstructured activities that I participated in.
It was a deeply moving and emotional weekend for most attendees, especially me. I will have some pictures posted on Facebook, but couldn’t resist posting this one of myself posing with David Seidler, Academy Award winning screenplay writer for the stunning movie about stuttering, “The King’s Speech.”
Check back later in the week for some updates of the best moments.
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