Posts Tagged ‘public stuttering’
Life Is A Cabaret – Episode 263
Posted on: November 16, 2023
Episode 263 features Michelle Polinsky, who hails from New York, NY. Michelle works as an ENT surgery coordinator, where she works with a lot of anxious parents. This job sort of fell into her lap, and has actually helped with her speech, as it’s helped her deal with her fear of phone calls.
Michelle studied theater in college, and before the pandemic, started taking cabaret classes. She took a class again after the pandemic and was encouraged to do a show of her own. She has now performed it twice. She couldn’t find a song that represented stuttering, so she wrote one herself. She has been encouraged to submit it for the Cabaret Awards.
Michelle is involved in the stuttering community, as a long time member of the Manhattan chapter of the National Stuttering Association and as a former member of Our Time Theater (now known as SAY.) In fact, Michelle was one of the original pre-teen members of Our Time, and attended a couple of NSA conferences where they performed at the NSA Opening Ceremonies.
Michelle shares that stuttering isn’t the worst thing in the world and that she has a relationship with stuttering that includes community and friends she loves. She treasures her time with “her people” a couple of days a year at the conferences.
And I treasured this conversation. Dear listeners, please take a moment to watch and listen to Michelle’s wonderful original song, in her YouTube video.
On Becoming More Introverted
Posted on: July 13, 2023
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I recently returned from another life changing NSA conference. This experience was especially poignant for me as I had not planned to go due to all of the challenges I am up against. I describe myself these days as being “medically and financially precarious.” My community helped me get there and I am grateful.
I always learn so much about myself when I am with my tribe and can take in all of the warmth and richness of the stuttering community. This year I learned that I am definitely becoming more introverted than ever. I’ve always leaned towards being an introvert, due to both being a stutterer and living a relatively isolated life for so long.
I love being with my stuttering community, but I found this year that I needed more alone time and that I was anxious in common areas with big crowds. I don’t recall this being as acute as it seemed to be this year. Several times, I found myself at a table full of friends over dinner with no desire to say anything.
I recall a friend sitting across from me asking more than once if I was OK and what was I thinking about. He tried to draw me into conversation. I think I sent off signals that I wasn’t having it! I guess it may have appeared I was lost in thought or daydreaming. I think it was actually being acutely aware of how uncomfortable I felt, and not understanding why.
Like I said, I love being with my community and giving as much of myself as I can. But I found I needed lots of “breaks.” Alone time, non-talking time, thinking and reflecting time. I went to my room early on several nights and then criticized myself for doing that.
Maybe it’s a product of aging. Maybe it’s a product of stuttering. Maybe it’s just a preference for quiet. In a couple of places, the music was so loud, people were shouting to be heard. I don’t enjoy that anymore. I actually don’t know if I ever did.
Has anyone else discovered a new desire for more alone time? Does it get in the way of doing all that you want to do?
Be On Your Own Team – Episode 255
Posted on: March 29, 2023
Episode 255 features Kathryn Paprocki, who hails from Denver, Colorado. Kathryn is a wife, mom and professional fighter. She and her husband own a gym called DCO MMA & Fitness. She is a boxer and kickboxer, but her ultimate passion and soul lies with MMA.
Kathryn shares that training and fighting helped her manage anxiety and build confidence. Finding out who she was, and what she was capable of, was powerful. She was featured on an episode of the ESPN reality show The Ultimate Fighter last year, and it was important to her to not have her stuttering hidden.
Listen in as we chat about going through painful phases of wanting to stop talking, building coping skills, “L.O.V.E. – Letting Others Voluntarily Evolve” and the joy of finding the National Stuttering Association and attending her first conference.
Our wonderful conversation wraps up with discussing how important it is to have self-compassion.
Episode 231 features Sherrika Myers, who hails from Baltimore, Maryland and presently lives in Charleston, South Carolina.
Sherrika is one busy lady. She is certified life coach, a children’s author, a national speaker and founder of Every 1 Voice Matters. She is the creator of Lil Herbie, an African American mascot she uses to help children build their self-esteem and love themselves. She created Lil Herbie when her grandson began to stutter. Lil Herbie represents the little kid in Sherrika who stuttered.
Sherrika also has a YouTube channel which features the Lil Herbie Series. Lil Herbie looks like her grandson!
Listen is as we talk about stuttering awareness, anti-bullying initiatives and importance of loving your voice. Sherrika is doing things now that she wanted to do a kid. She says, “I’m playing catch-up.”
We also talk about reaching parents so they are prepared to help their kid who may stutter. Sherrika tells us that parents should be patient, listen to their child and “allow them to find their way.” More importantly, Sherrika’s universal message is “Be sure kids love themselves.”
Stuttering In Spanish
Posted on: November 2, 2020
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I had an amazing opportunity last week to be a guest panelist for an event hosted by the Peruvian Stuttering Association. For International Stuttering Awareness Day, they held a week long festival for all things stuttering. I thought that was so wonderful, to intentionally raise awareness of stuttering for an extended period of time.
The organizer invited me to participate in a panel session on Friday October 23, from 7-9pm. I started off a bit intimidated, as I was the only woman who stuttered on the panel, and the only one who did not speak Spanish. It felt so weird. I had a translator assigned to me and when I realized he knew his stuff, I relaxed and began to enjoy the experience.
The first part of the panel was for each of us to give a brief overview of our country’s stuttering association. I spoke about the mission and vision of the National Stuttering Association. I spoke 4 or 5 sentences at a time and the translator repeated what I said back to the audience in Spanish. Then the other two panelists, from Argentina and Columbia, gave their overviews in Spanish and the translator typed in the Zoom chat box what was being said.
The second part of the panel was a 90 minute Q&A with audience members, who asked questions in Spanish on the live feed as the whole event was held on Zoom and then streamed through Facebook Live. I did not know that it was going to be live streamed until about 30 minutes ahead of the event.
I had the rare opportunity to possibly feel like the lone person who stutters in a large room of many fluent people. I felt alone in a crowded space. I imagine that’s how people who stutter feel until they are welcomed into the space they are in.
And that’s exactly how it played out for me. Once I got over the initial nerves of not knowing the language and realized that my translator wasn’t going to leave me hanging, I actually enjoyed the experience.
I was able to talk about the NSA’s vast network of support chapters across the USA, and how they are like a lifeline to people who stutter. For many who stutter, attending a local NSA chapter meeting may be their very first introduction to others who stutter and the empowerment felt when around others who stutter.
I was able to talk about how support meetings are facilitated, the role of the chapter leader, inviting everyone to speak and give permission to just listen. When I talked about the importance of honoring silence among people who stutter, I could see that definitely struck a chord with the panelists because they felt when that happened they had failed as group leaders. So we talked about how facilitation is more like guiding a group discussion rather than actually leading and feeling that every space must be filled with words.
I also had the opportunity to talk about inviting women into the stuttering spaces that we create. The South America stuttering leaders really valued that part of the conversation and pledged to explore that further and look at opportunities to find and welcome women who stutter.
We also spent time discussing initiatives to promote better career outcomes for people who stutter in the employment process. I was able to share what the NSA has done with our “We Stutter @ Work” program.
This experience was a major leap away from my comfort zone but as I reflected on it, it was a real honor and privilege to represent women who stutter in a traditionally male oriented space.
I hope to be invited and participate in more of such opportunities.
Seasons Of Speech – Episode 204
Posted on: July 23, 2019
Episode 204 features Pauline Benner who hails from Fort Wayne, Indiana. Pauline is a mom and musician. She plays woodwinds and keyboards for three different theaters and with a symphony. She is also a singer/songwriter, freelances and gives private lessons.
Listen in as we talk about how Pauline’s life path came from what she couldn’t do versus what she really wanted to do, because of stuttering. She sings for audiences but prefers not to speak to the audience before singing. She “speaks through her instruments.”
We also talk about how much of stuttering is psychological versus physical and the head space we give to stuttering. Pauline shares about how Toastmasters has helped her and her belief that society has changed where we can feel more free to stutter. Pauline wants people who are fluent to know that “the voice in our head is fluent” and that the world would benefit if we were all just more patient in general.
The music used in today’s episode is credited to ccMixter.
Laughing At Stuttering
Posted on: May 2, 2017
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I went to see Drew Lynch, a comedian who stutters, this past weekend. This is the second time I have seen him perform live. He put on a great show and his jokes and stories were genuinely funny.
He didn’t make all of his stories about stuttering. In fact, he only talked about stuttering twice, and poked fun at himself for stuttering just once. The rest of his stories were about other funny things and he stuttered while telling, of course, because that’s what he does.
This time I was at the show with a friend who stutters. She enjoyed the performance as much as I did. Neither of us felt uncomfortable laughing at someone who stutters, nor were we uncomfortable with the audience laughing. And laugh they did! The audience appreciated Drew’s comedy and his story telling. Everything was spot on, especially Drew’s timing, since it’s not always easy for a stutterer to “get” the punchline right.
After the show, my friend and I waited in line to meet Drew and get a picture. I was excited about this, as I had not waited to meet him the last time I saw him perform. When I went up to meet him, I told him I stuttered too and that I greatly enjoyed the show. I told him about the National Stuttering Association , which he didn’t seem to know about. I asked him to consider speaking at a NSA event or conference sometime. He enthusiastically said he would consider it and told me to get in touch with his assistant.
Then we hugged and posed for a photo. I’m glad I got to meet him and glad I enjoyed the show. I’ve come a long way with how I handle seeing and hearing someone else stutter. Years ago, I would have winced and been offended with people laughing at someone who stutters. Now, I take it in stride and just enjoy good comedy for what it is.
Interviews And Stuttering
Posted on: March 8, 2017
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Many people who stutter worry about how to manage job interviews. It has been said that interviews are the single most stressful communication situation that a person who stutters faces. It can be intimidating trying to prove that you meet the expectations of excellent verbal communication.
I used to be one of those people. I definitely worried about how I would handle when stuttering reared it’s ugly head during a job interview. I ultimately wound up disclosing at the start of the interview conversation that I stutter.
These days I am dealing with being on the other side of the interview table. I am helping to interview students who are applying to our college in the high school programs. So I am asking the questions and trying to make the student candidates feel at ease.
I have not disclosed at the start of the interviews that I stutter. I don’t feel it’s relevant to why the student is there. I’m stuttering – especially when I have to read one of the questions from the scripted set of questions we use. I’ve noticed a couple of raised eyebrows and smiles when I’ve stuttered but nothing beyond that. I think the students are too nervous themselves to give me and my stuttering much thought.
I am an effective communicator even when I stutter. I am confident in my ability to convey my message and I don’t let my stuttering stop me from doing this part of my job. I think just plowing ahead and speaking with confidence is the way to go, as when I’m confident, it lets the student know to have confidence in me.
Have any of you ever had the experience of being on the other side of the interview table? How did it go?
I Want You To Meet A Friend
Posted on: October 17, 2016
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On the last night of improv class, one of my classmates came up to me to talk for a minute. She had a sheepish look on her face, as if she was wasn’t sure how I’d react to what she was about to say.
She said, “You know, how, like you stutter” and she had her hand cupped over her mouth as if she didn’t want anyone else to hear it. She went on to say, “I have a friend who stutters too and I really think you two should meet. She’ll be here tonight.” I said, “OK.”
Well, we got busy with the show and performing and all and before we knew it, the night was over and I was saying my goodbyes. My classmate mentioned that I hadn’t met her friend. I told her I had to get going, as I was driving my mom home. She said maybe another time then, as she was sure we’d hit it off.
I laughed to myself. How many times has this happened to you? That someone wants to introduce you to someone just because you both stutter. Like we’d be fast friends because we have stuttering in common.
Note to readers: just because two people stutter doesn’t mean they will be best friends. Just like with anyone else, you may not like each other, one might rub the other the wrong way or maybe one is a jerk, (not me of course!) despite being a person who stutters.
It is true that people who stutter definitely have something in common, but it doesn’t automatically mean they will hit it off and become best friends. I just think it’s funny that people automatically want to introduce me to someone else who stutters because they’re sure we’ll hit it off.
This has happened to me several times. What about you?
Fluent Or Fluid
Posted on: July 28, 2016
I participated in a great conversation yesterday with people who stutter from around the world, in a Stutter Social group video chat. The discussion started out with one person asking for tips about giving presentations. He had one coming up at school and was nervous that his stuttering would interfere with his ability to do a good job.
Several people offered suggestions, such as practicing, trying not to read verbatim from notes and advertising that you stutter before beginning the presentation. One person suggested that he try and be as fluent as possible. He talked about practicing speech techniques daily in order to achieve fluent speech.
I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to chime in that I thought this was an unrealistic goal. People who stutter are going to stutter and we should not strive for fluency. In my opinion, that often results in feelings of disappointment and failure, which just exasperates our stuttering.
Instead, I suggested that we aim for being fluid while communicating. Being fluid can be described as having or showing a smooth and easy style. That’s what I shoot for when I am giving presentations.
My years of Toastmasters training helped me build excellent speaking skills, which I use every day. I’ve grown comfortable with eye contact, gesturing, vocal variety, and speaking without using notes. I became a much more fluid speaker when I began to focus on what I was saying and trying to convey. In other words, I wasn’t trying to be perfectly fluent.
I am a more natural and comfortable speaker when I move easily from topic to topic with good transitions and flow. I am more fluid when I am very comfortable with what I am talking about so that I don’t need to use notes.
You can stutter and be a very effective communicator. Stuttering doesn’t have to interfere with the message you are conveying. As the name of this blog implies, you can make room for the stuttering by being fluid, going with the flow, being comfortable when speaking and enjoying the experience.
Making room for the stuttering will help lessen any anxiety you have about trying to be perfectly fluent. That’s just not going to happen for people who stutter.
Accepting Acceptance
Posted on: June 22, 2016
We hear so much about acceptance in the stuttering community. It is important that we accept ourselves, perceived flaws and all, if we want others to accept us as we are.
Acceptance is one of humanity’s most basic needs. If you think back to psychology courses you took, you’ll likely remember Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. Love and belonging (or acceptance) is right smack in the middle of the needs that all human beings need in order to lead a fulfilled life.
It takes courage to accept acceptance into our lives. We live in a society where we are constantly bombarded by media images of perfection and many of us hold ourselves up to those images, aspiring to achieve goals that may never be achieved.
To truly accept yourself, you must have the courage to present yourself to the world as is and be proud of who you are.
People who stutter often have tremendous difficulty with acceptance. We feel different, we sound different, we are different. There are very few role models for us who stutter openly in the media. What images we have of stuttering in the media are often infused with negativity or comedy.
So it’s no wonder we might struggle with accepting acceptance. It’s not something that comes easily and for some people who stutter, they may never fully accept acceptance. They may strive for fluency and constantly be on the lookout for the next greatest program, therapy or medication that promises to eliminate stuttering. They want to live up to those media images of perfection, where no one stutters.
Accepting acceptance doesn’t mean that we can’t still explore ways to manage or improve our speech. We may be interested in stuttering more comfortably and with less tension. That’s not a sell out to acceptance. It just means that we want to be the best that we can be with what we have.
It took me years to allow acceptance into my life. I was ashamed of stuttering for so long, because of all of the negative external messages that I internalized. For me, it was and still is a journey. Shame still creeps in occasionally and it’s in those moments that I actively remind myself that I am good, that I am whole, that my difference is OK and that I am enough. I think when I do that, I’m accepting acceptance.
What do you think of accepting acceptance? Have you?
Nobody Threw Tomatoes-Episode 154
Posted on: April 27, 2016
Episode 154 features Sharon Steed who hails from Chicago, Illinois, and presently lives in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Sharon is a freelance business writer and also a professional speaker.
Sharon tells us that stuttering had such control over her life that she was terrified to speak to people. Sharon reached a point where she knew she needed to face her fear head on and she decided to tackle it by taking on public speaking.
Listen in as we discuss how Sharon has used speaking as a way to build business. She says “Being vulnerable and open helps you a lot more than it hurts you.” This applies to both business and stuttering. We also talk about active listening, effective communication, empathy and patience. In fact, those are some of the topics Sharon has spoken about in her business talks.
Sharon wants others who stutter to know, “I struggle with it too. I’m not any more courageous than anyone else. I’m just willing to try and fail.”
Music used in today’s episode is credited to ccMixter. Below is a video of one of Sharon’s talks.
Make Room For The Stuttering 
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