Posts Tagged ‘advertising stuttering’
My Mother Stutters Too
Posted on: December 9, 2011
Earlier this week, I visited some classes and met teachers and students that I will be working with in my new position of Adult Literacy Program Manager.
My goal is to introduce myself personally to all of the teachers I will work with, and to as many of their students as possible. I think this is the best way to navigate my way through a new position that includes programming I am not familiar with yet!
I visited one of the adult high school equivalency classes. I introduced myself, and personally shared a little about who I am and what my goal is with my new position. That is important to me, since this is adult education. Adults should know who I am and what I will be responsible for, so when they see me walking around or pop into a classroom, they won’t be wondering, “Who’s she?”
It is also important for me to be humble and acknowledge right from the start that adult education is new for me. My learning curve includes honesty and asking for guidance and for people to be upfront with me.
People seem to really appreciate that, and are more willing to reciprocate when I ask them to introduce themself to me and tell a little about why they are taking this particular class at this particular time in their life.
Adults have many different reasons for taking literacy classes. For some, it’s not easy to tell their tales. I had thought that it must be hard to “tell their tells” to a total stranger. It would be for me!
But it has not been an issue so far. Every student I have engaged with has been honest and told me stark details, in front of their classmates and teacher. It was evident to me that the teacher in this particular class did not know all of the details shared on this day.
One woman, in her late 40’s, acknowledged that she is ashamed that she never finished high school and doesn’t want to live with shame anymore. She said it embarrassed her to admit this to her classmates, all of whom were male and considerably younger. Not one batted an eyelash. It is what it is. It may have been their story too.
Another young man shared that he dropped out of school only 3 months before the end of his senior year, because he knew he wouldn’t graduate. He went to school only to leave school. He was bored and unchallenged and didn’t see any value in what high school was teaching him.
He is in this class now because he knows he can’t go any farther without a diploma and he is sick of his life being a dead-end.
I responded to some of what he shared, and got caught in a good stuttering block, followed quickly by lots of repetitions. It seemed a good time to share about my stuttering. I mentioned that I stutter (like I just had!) and that I am OK with it, and hoped they were too. I also mentioned that, like the woman, for different reasons, I used to feel shame and embarrassed to acknowledge that I stutter.
From there, I matter-of-factly moved on and asked the last student to introduce himself. Since he was last, he shared that since everyone else had been so honest, he was going to be as well. He shared a quick story of drugs, wrong crowds, bad decisions, loss and finally “seeing the light.” Everyone nodded and made eye contact, and you could tell everyone understood everyone’s stories as partially “their own.”
This last man further offered, “And you know what else? I stutter too! Not as bad as I used too, but every once in a while you can still hear it. And my mother stutters too. Sometimes her stuttering was so bad it was almost laughable. Not in a mean way, but she stutters really bad, you know. But she doesn’t let it “tense her” as much as it used to.”
He added, “me either. When I stutter sometimes now, I don’t let it “tense me” like it used to. It’s good to talk about it once in a while.”
I was kind of blown away by all that had been shared in 35 minutes. I told the class that and thanked them for their honesty, and smiled and wished them a good day before leaving. And as I left the classroom and looked back through the window, I saw the class turn their attention back to the math “brain squeeze” on the white board.
As I drove home, I processed all I had learned and shared that day. And wondered if that man would have shared that he, and his mother, stuttered if I had not shared it about myself.
Be Memorable!
Posted on: December 2, 2011
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I really don’t want to be identified as the lady who stutters at work. But I know darn right well that is how some people know me and remember me.
I stutter during one-on-one conversations, I stutter on the phone and I am known to stutter when making small or large group presentations. Contrary to what I used to think, most people in my world know I stutter.
There’s certainly worse things to be known for, right?
I could be known as the one everyone hates dealing with because she never follows through.
Or I could be the one that everyone knows is always late.
Or I could be known as the one that you can’t tell anything to because she can’t be trusted.
On one of the stuttering forums I visit, someone was talking about how it’s too bad some people reach “old age” and never come to terms with the fact that they stutter.
He shared an observation that he had when he had a group of people over to his home recently. People were gathered around, talking, laughing, chiming in when they had something to contribute. He also noted that there were several different conversations actually going on at the same time.
He found it interesting to watch how people jockeyed for the right moment to jump in and add something to a conversation when they had something they wanted to contribute. Sometimes people talked over one another and interrupted.
He also mentioned that he didn’t contribute much because he really didn’t have much to say, and was rather busy keeping people “watered and fed.”
But when he did have something to say, the conversations stopped and everybody listened. Because this guy insists that he not be interrupted when he speaks. Sometimes he struggles to get his words out, so when he does want to contribute, everybody listens.
I likened this to being memorable. People remember people who stand out and say something compelling and valuable, even when stuttering while sharing their point.
A friend and I talked about our stuttering last night. He was venting how frustrating it feels to him to have conversations at work with colleagues or people in authority. He feels like no one knows who he is.
I told him what I thought about that! My take is that he feels that way because he rarely takes opportunities to initiate conversation and “make people want to hear more from him.”
When I said this, he looked at me with this “raised eyebrow look” of his that means, “What the hell are you talking about?”
I said to him, “You have to be memorable. You stutter, so be so compelling in what you say while stuttering, that people will definitely remember you.” I had his attention. I could see his wheels churning.
There’s worse things, right?
Blogging On Another Blog!
Posted on: November 30, 2011
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I had the honor of writing a piece for another blog, Hiten Vyas’ wonderful The Stuttering Hub. This is the first time someone asked me to write a guest piece on their blog!
Hiten published it yesterday. Be sure to check out his site. In addition to offering regular gems of wisdom about managing stuttering, Hiten also offers mentoring for others who stutter/stammer.
I wrote about my experiences so far at my new job, which I started two weeks ago. I shared how I have gone about disclosing and advertising my stuttering to new colleagues and students.
Those same colleagues and students taught me how the human spirit is still alive and well. See my post here.
My job experiences so far, and being featured on another blog, reinforce to me how powerful human connection really is.
What Makes You Tic?
Posted on: November 25, 2011
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Last week I went to a presentation on tolerance. The name of the program was called “What Makes You Tic?” The speaker was Marc Elliott, a man in his twenties who was diagnosed with Tourette’s Syndrome when he was 9 years old.
He has lived with strange physical tics for many years, as well as inappropriate outbursts of name calling, cursing, and loud, odd noises.
His most-notable tic is/was the slamming together of his teeth, loudly enough to hear his upper and lower teeth grind and make contact. Imagine doing that for over 20 years!
His talk was very inspirational. He shared about how he often found himself explaining to people in school or out in public that his weird movements or sounds were not intended to bother or offend anyone, but that they were involuntary.
He also has lived with a rare intestinal disorder, making the “taken-for-granted” bodily task of relieving himself a particular challenge as well. He talked about never wanting to use a public restroom. He always felt he was being judged. Even when all he could see, and others could see, were ankles and shoes at the bottom of a stall.
If he heard someone come in to the bathroom, he would make himself stop “his business” in mid-action, in order not to be judged (or so he thought, in his mind.)
This is very similar to stuttering. How often have you chose not to speak, or switched words, for fear of how someone would react?
During his talk, Marc made reference to stuttering. I was not surprised. I knew there was some closeness ( in the brain area) between stuttering and Tourette’s syndrome. And I am always interested in how people with differences manage in their daily lives.
Marc shared that in the last 5 months, he has gained such a level of acceptance for his tics, that he rarely tics in public anymore. He said he almost never thinks about the fear of how others may perceive him, which has given him control over his tics. This is where he made reference to stuttering. And what surprised me, frankly.
He indicated that like Tourettes, if people who stutter could just forget that they stutter, like we do when we sing (!), we would be able to reduce or eliminate stuttering, like he has done with his tics.
He never quite told us how he has eliminated his tics. He said we could read about that in his book, (of the same title, “What Makes You Tic?“) which is due out by the end of the year.
At the end of the program, many people started lining up to speak with him. I got in line, deciding to let him know (gently) what I thought of his comment about stuttering.
I was close to the front of the line, and listened while some young girls cooed about how amazing and inspirational he was. An excited group of three got another friend to take a picture of them with Marc.
When it was my turn, I introduced myself, using some voluntary stuttering until real stuttering took hold. I told him I enjoyed his talk, but was a little curious about his reference to stuttering. I shared with him that if not thinking about stuttering was all it took for me to not stutter, like he no longer tics, then I needed to know the secret right away.
I also said, “I bet you didn’t think anyone who stutters would be in this audience, huh?” He did seem genuinely surprised and commented that he was glad I had come up to him. He also said he was grateful that I had shared a little about stuttering, and that maybe he needs to get more information before he “uses that connection” again.
We spoke for just a few minutes, but I knew I had his attention. While we spoke, he “ticked” quite obviously – his mouth clamped tight a couple of times and his gaze was all over the place. Maybe it was because I was stuttering freely, or like me (with my stuttering), he tics more one-on-one with someone than he does/did when he was on the stage talking and using a microphone.
I think he was actually surprised that I came up to him and had the guts to gently point out (for me anyway) that his analogy about “not thinking” about stuttering wasn’t the answer.
He thanked me and gave me a hug before I left.
I was glad I went up to him and was honest and stuttered openly. We all learn from each other.
Self-Help In India
Posted on: November 23, 2011
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The Indian Stammering Association (TISA) is having their first National Conference to promote self help and community for Indian people who stutter at the end of this year.
The conference will take place from December 28, 2011 to January 1, 2012. It is being held at the Institute of Health Sciences (IHS), Bhubaneswar, Orissa, India. Details for meals, lodging and the purpose and agenda can be found here.
I am happy to pass this information along to anyone who regularly visits my blog or listens to any of my podcast episodes.
Stuttering/stammering is universal. We may live in different countries and have different accents, but anyone who stutters understands the fear, shame and stigma that can result from trying to deal with our stuttering in isolation.
I have been very fortunate on many fronts. I found and got involved in the United States National Stuttering Association (NSA) in 2006. I learned how empowering it is to connect with other people from different cultures who experience communication differences in a world where we take talking for granted.
I started writing about my stuttering journey on this blog in February 2009 (almost 3 years!) and have regularly been supported by people who stutter in India. We have shared resources, perspectives and ideas.
I have also had the good fortune to talk with several people who stutter from India via Skype. This has been a wonderful opportunity to prove how important self-help is, as well as paying it forward to others.
If you are an Indian person who stutters who wants to discover the power of meeting others who stutter, do everything you can to attend this first ever Indian National Conference.
Or if you love someone who stutters or are a professional or like me, a person from another country who would like to attend and can afford to do so, GO. (I wish I could!)
It will be a life changing experience.
Episode 73 features Jeni Cristal, who hails from Long Beach, California. Jeni is 22 years old and attends the University of Long Beach, majoring in Health Care Administration.
Jeni will graduate in spring 2012, and plans to go on for her Masters degree in Public Policy. Then she wants to apply to law school, with the long-term goal of becoming a prosecutor.
Jeni is from a very large family – she has 10 siblings! Two of her brothers stutter. Listen in as Jeni shares her poignant story of growing up not being allowed to talk to her mother – because her mother thought Jeni’s stuttering was contagious! She was only allowed to talk to her mom if she was fluent.
We talk about how tough it was for Jeni to not talk about any of this for years, and the changes in her relationship with her mom. We also discuss disability resources for college students, speech therapy, forgiveness, letting go and acceptance.
Jeni and I had a great conversation. We both got choked up at the end of our chat, as we realized we had made a real emotional connection. Sharing our personal stories does that!
Please feel free to leave comments for either of us, and especially let Jeni know what a great job she did. Feedback is such a gift.
The podcast safe music used in this episode is credited to ccMixter.
Don’t Quit – Episode 72
Posted on: November 7, 2011
Episode 72 features Janet Lennon, who hails from County Laois, Ireland (which is just about an hour from Dublin.) Janet is 25 years old and works with young children in a playschool.
We “met” through a mutual friend on an on-line stuttering support group.
Janet has stammered since she was about 4 years old. Her parents got her involved in speech therapy at a young age. In 2008, Janet found the McGuire program and also found renewed confidence.
Listen is as we cover a lot of ground in this great episode. We chat about the support and encouragement Janet found in the McGuire program, working with children and the importance of having non-judgmental support systems.
Janet joined Toastmasters in 2010, so we have that in common and chat quite a bit about that. It never ceases to amaze me how universal Toastmasters is. We can be in different parts of the world and know exactly what we are both referring to!
Janet also talks about an article she was featured in about finding her voice and shares the encouragement and inspiration she has felt from this poem called “Don’t Quit.”
Music in this episode is credited to ccMixter. Please be sure to leave comments if you wish for Janet (or me.) Remember, feedback is a gift.
Episode 71 features Megan Hutson who hails from Fairmont, West Virginia. Megan is a 25 year old self described “professional student.”
She is studying American Sign Language (ASL) at Fairmont State University. Megan shares how she wants to use her stuttering as an inspiration to others who have difficulties with communication. She thinks she would be good at, and enjoy being, an interpreter for the deaf.
Megan shares an example of her teacher assigning the class to perform a song using ASL. (Here’s an example.) Megan talks about how different it was for her to sign instead of using her voice.
She recalls how when she would prepare a speech using her voice, she always prepared less material. She needed to give herself time to stutter. She realizes that this is not the case with ASL, because (as of yet) she is not stuttering while signing!
Listen in as we talk about some other unique perspectives. Megan did not start stuttering until age 17. We discuss late onset, and what it was like being fluent. Megan shares that she was actually timid as a fluent speaker and afraid to put herself out there. Now, as a person who stutters, she finds herself much more outgoing and willing to take chances!
We also chat about how she has handled negative reactions to her stuttering and Megan’s perspective that with stuttering, people have no time to prepare themselves to talk to us, like they might when a person encounters someone in a wheelchair.
This was a great conversation. Thanks Megan for being so honest and letting us get to know you. Feel free to leave comments or ask questions in the comment section.
Music used in this episode is credited to ccMixter.
Procrastination and Stuttering
Posted on: October 19, 2011
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My good friend Nina G, who is an amazing role model for “differently-abled” people, including people who stutter, found this blog post called Procrastination: Do You Stutter or Stammer? The author tries to correlate procrastination to stuttering or stammering.
The name of the blog is Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life, and focuses on re-framing negative self-talk into ways to make positive changes in our lives.
Good stuff! Everybody has negative self-talk that can consume us if we let it. It’s always good to find ways to re-think things so we don’t get and stay “stuck.”
Except when we find the use of the words stuttering or stammering to imply something negative, that needs to be fixed or changed.
Here’s the comment I wrote on Mike Reeves-McMillan’s post. Figured I’d put it here, in case they don’t publish it!
What about those of us who really stutter? It’s not quite so simple unfortunately. I am a fast talker and a fast thinker – and I stutter. Have since I began talking. And I am an amazing communicator. I don’t procrastinate more than the average person, I don’t “stop” and “start” with my speech. I just happen to stutter sometimes, as do 1% of the adult population here in the United States (about 3 million of us) and 1% in the UK as well, and worldwide in fact. That’s a lot of people!
We are not intellectually or emotionally impaired, nor are we nervous, anxious, shy or withdrawn. What we are is this: fed up with people who casually use the words “stuttering” or “stammering” to convey a negative connotation. Sports teams get off to “stuttering starts.” A nervous teenager on his first date “stammers” hello. Employees on interviews should take care not to “stutter or stammer” their way through the first question, or risk making an indelible negative first impression.
I am all for people such as yourself selling books to help people manage their time better or figure out what obstacles exist that result in procrastination, which afflicts all of us at some point in our life.
For those of us who stutter (as it is routinely referred to here in the U.S.) or stammer (as it is routinely referred to in Europe), it is not a routine fix. Many of us struggle every day against negative social consequences, educational and vocational discrimination and exclusion. I stutter and I am very successful! I stutter and am actively involved in Toastmasters! I stutter and help people every day! I stutter and work with youth and young adults! I stutter and live and work and play in the same world as everyone else! And it’s OK!
What do you think about the use of the word “stuttering” or “stammering” when relating it to something that can be perceived as negative?
Let me know what you think!
UnTamed Tongue – Episode 70
Posted on: October 17, 2011
Episode 70 features Rachel Hoge, who hails from Springfield, TN. Rachel is 19 years old and presently attends Western Kentucky University and lives in Bowling Green. She is studying creative and professional writing.
Rachel shares that when she first started college she advertised in one of her classes that she stutters and had started a blog about stuttering. Sitting next to her in class was the editor of her college newspaper. The editor profiled Rachel and her blog, The Untamed Tongue, in the college paper. Rachel shares that other students emailed her, disclosing that they too stutter.
I saw the article about Rachel, which led me to her blog, and then to her, which led to this podcast conversation.
Rachel wrote an article on stuttering when she was in high school that was published in the Stuttering Foundation’s newsletter. We also mention the National Stuttering Association, FRIENDS and the Our Time Theater in our conversation.
Listen is as we discuss stuttering around close friends and family, parent and sibling support and acceptance. We also discuss what it was like for Rachel to have this conversation, as I was the first woman who also stutters that Rachel ever spoke with.
Music used in this episode is credited to ccMixter. Please feel free to leave comments or feedback for Rachel or Pam. Feedback is a gift.
** Producer/editor note: I was unable to clean up the audio properly in this episode. It sounds like I interrupted Rachel at every turn, but that is really not how it went. For some reason, the audio just did not come out cleanly and I couldn’t fix it. Remember – this is an amateur podcast production! **
What Do You Think?
Posted on: October 10, 2011
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Kudos to my young friend, Philip Garber, who is featured in this New York Times article today, A Stutterer Faces Resistance, From the Front of the Class.
I know Philip, who is 16 years old, from the NSA. I have known him for a couple of years, so have had the opportunity to see him “grow up” as a young person with a profound stutter.
I also know Philip’s mom, Marin, who is mentioned in the article. I got to spend more time getting to know Marin at this year’s NSA conference in Ft Worth, Texas. We ran into each other at the airport on the way to Texas (!), and hung out quite a bit, sharing some meals together.
When this discouraging incident happened with Philip last month, Marin emailed me and asked my opinion of how Philip might handle the matter. We bantered a few thoughts back and forth, but ultimately Philip decided how it would be handled. He is quite skilled at self-advocacy.
I suggested that Philip should do a presentation to the faculty on stuttering awareness, and am pleased that he IS going to do this at some point.
Please take the time to read this article and the many comments (355 the last I saw!) The reactions are mixed.
What do you think? Do you think Philip was discriminated against? Do you think that the professor was reasonable in asking that Philip not speak in class? Is the article too one-sided? What lessons can be learned from this scenario?
Here’s a video that Philip did last year to commemorate International Stuttering Awareness Day, which is October 22. Hard to remember he is only a kid!
Safe But Scary – Episode 66
Posted on: September 8, 2011
Episode 66 features Jennifer, who hails from Kingston, Ontario, Canada. Jennifer is in Kingston while attending school pursuing her graduate degree in engineering physics.
Her long-term goal is to work in research and development to be a part of the next great technology advances.
Jennifer and I first “met” via one of the stuttering email groups. She took the plunge to start sharing on the covert-S group. It turns out Jennifer also attended her first National Stuttering Association (NSA) conference in Ft. Worth, Texas this past summer. We met very, very briefly and shook hands!
Jennifer and I discuss her career path and our shared interest in technology, particularly women in science, before we really get into stuttering!
We talk about how Jennifer first made the decision to make some changes in her life, and how important it was for her to hear other people who stutter, when she first found stuttering podcasts.
She also mentions how cool it was to meet Elaine and Patrice, who she had listened to on earlier podcasts.
We also discuss disclosure, advertising, moments of regret and her “border crossing” story!
Credit for the podcast safe music used in this episode goes to ccMixter. Feel free to leave comments for Jennifer or just let her know what a great job she did. Feedback is a gift.
Upcoming 2011 ISAD Conference
Posted on: September 7, 2011
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Unbelievably,October will soon be upon us. For the stuttering community, that means it will soon be time for the 14th Annual International Stuttering Awareness Day (ISAD) on-line conference.
October 22 of each year is the designated world-wide awareness day about stuttering.
For the three weeks leading up to the 22nd, there is an on-line conference that consists of papers and multi-media presentations written and shared by people who stutter, professionals in the speech and language field and college students and professors.
It is the one time a year where there is a virtual smorgasbord of all things stuttering, contributed, read and shared by people affected by stuttering from all over the world.
The conference is organized and maintained by the wonderful Judy Kuster, who maintains The Stuttering Homepage year round, and archives past ISAD conferences as well.
Please check into the ISAD conference once it goes “live” on Oct 1. The best thing about the on-line conference is the opportunity for readers to interact with presentation authors, through threaded discussions which remain active for the entire 3 weeks. That means you can leave comments and questions for contributors, and get responses back.
College students can get college credits for participating and reading all of the papers. And there is a section called “The Professor is In”, where anyone can ask a licensed speech professional any questions about stuttering related issues.
This year’s theme is very telling – “Sharing Stories: Changing Perceptions.” I suspect this means we will be treated to a multitude of presentations where we will learn the stories from people all over the world.
Stories do change our world view. That is evidenced by the stories that are shared on my podcast, Women Who Stutter: Our Stories.
Check out the 2010 ISAD conference for a taste of what this is all about and be sure to check in this year. Tell them Pam sent you!
Joy and Playfulness – Episode 65
Posted on: August 29, 2011
Episode 65 features Guðbjörg Ása Jóns Huldudóttir, or Gudda, an actress who hails from Reykjavík, Iceland. We chatted while Gudda is in Wroclaw, Poland, where she is in residence at the Grotowski Institute with her theater company, Bred in the Bone.
Gudda got involved in theater when she was about 23 years old. She started off taking some evening classes and then joined a non-professional acting group in Reykjavík. It was only after she had become involved with the Icelandic Stuttering Association (Málbjörg) that she gained the self-confidence and courage to have a go at theater.
Gudda shares how she first became involved with the stuttering community as a young person at an ELSA conference (European League of Stuttering Associations.)
She shares hearing for the first time ever a person who stutters give a public speech. That person was Anita Blom, who is an inspiring presence in the global stuttering community. Gudda has since facilitated her own theater workshop at an ELSA conference. She shares how wonderful it was to bring the joy and playfulness of theater to young people who stutter.
We also discuss advertising stuttering and educating others. As she puts it, we have stuttered all of our lives and are used to it. We have to take care of those who are not, to reduce misunderstanding and patronization.
Credit for the podcast safe music used in this episode goes to ccMixter. Tell us what you think of this episode. Feedback is a gift!
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