Be Memorable!
Posted December 2, 2011
on:- In: Posts
- 12 Comments
I really don’t want to be identified as the lady who stutters at work. But I know darn right well that is how some people know me and remember me.
I stutter during one-on-one conversations, I stutter on the phone and I am known to stutter when making small or large group presentations. Contrary to what I used to think, most people in my world know I stutter.
There’s certainly worse things to be known for, right?
I could be known as the one everyone hates dealing with because she never follows through.
Or I could be the one that everyone knows is always late.
Or I could be known as the one that you can’t tell anything to because she can’t be trusted.
On one of the stuttering forums I visit, someone was talking about how it’s too bad some people reach “old age” and never come to terms with the fact that they stutter.
He shared an observation that he had when he had a group of people over to his home recently. People were gathered around, talking, laughing, chiming in when they had something to contribute. He also noted that there were several different conversations actually going on at the same time.
He found it interesting to watch how people jockeyed for the right moment to jump in and add something to a conversation when they had something they wanted to contribute. Sometimes people talked over one another and interrupted.
He also mentioned that he didn’t contribute much because he really didn’t have much to say, and was rather busy keeping people “watered and fed.”
But when he did have something to say, the conversations stopped and everybody listened. Because this guy insists that he not be interrupted when he speaks. Sometimes he struggles to get his words out, so when he does want to contribute, everybody listens.
I likened this to being memorable. People remember people who stand out and say something compelling and valuable, even when stuttering while sharing their point.
A friend and I talked about our stuttering last night. He was venting how frustrating it feels to him to have conversations at work with colleagues or people in authority. He feels like no one knows who he is.
I told him what I thought about that! My take is that he feels that way because he rarely takes opportunities to initiate conversation and “make people want to hear more from him.”
When I said this, he looked at me with this “raised eyebrow look” of his that means, “What the hell are you talking about?”
I said to him, “You have to be memorable. You stutter, so be so compelling in what you say while stuttering, that people will definitely remember you.” I had his attention. I could see his wheels churning.
There’s worse things, right?
12 Responses to "Be Memorable!"

Memorable is defintely the right word, Pam. We – stutterers – need to use our stutter to advantage whenever we can because for most of our life it’s seen by us and others as a disadvantage. If we can learn to command a conversation – and often it’s as simple as the other person being too embarrassed to interrupt the stutterer in front of them – then we should grab that advantage with both hands. Likewise, if we make our contribution count, even with a stutter in tow, then the people around us will want to listen when we do speak out. Fluent folk have no problem speaking and by definition they often say things with little thought or sense. Stutterers are not so lucky but when they do speak they should make damn sure their words count. What’s more, someone who stutters, and controls the ‘room’ when he speaks will be remembered long after he leaves the room – for good or bad.


If you don’t talk than people don’t get the chance to know you. Putting yourself in a conversation is very scary, but you can’t get better at it without practice. I’ll add that I don’t think what you have to contribute has to be something huge either. Most people say things that are not necessary. For example: When a co-worker tells you about their weekend.


Nice post Pam. I can remember when I was a PhD student and would have to give presentations. I used to always volunteer to go first and before I would start my talk, I would tell the audience I stammer. Many ‘fluent’ and more experienced people would tell me how brave that was. I encourage people who stammer to take the lead and be the first to speak up too. It’s great for confidence building.


I apologize if this sounds like a dumb question, Pam, but why do you not like your stuttering to be referred to as a “disability?” I am asking only to get your perspective on this. I guess it can be difficult to label “stuttering,” as stutters vary so much and so much is still being learned about what causes stuttering. I would love to hear your thoughts!


Wow, this post really hits home for me. My family interrupts each other almost constantly. I’ve sometimes wanted to record family gatherings, with multiple conversations going on and everyone talking over each other. It’s crazy. And it only hit my after many years of living away from home. Being interrupted constantly while trying to stutter well, and not avoid, is very very ..very.. frustrating.. to the point that I wonder if it’s a part of why I am in the 20% who’s stuttering persists into adulthood. (I learned that speech = challenge and failure/not getting a chance to say what you want to say). On a related note, since I have had a better attitude about my stuttering, and am actually trying to talk more, I am often repeating my points multiple times! (How annoying!) Maybe I feel that since I finally “got the floor”, I need to make sure I get my point in?
So, lately, I’ve been trying to balance all this.. I’m trying to figure out how to best deal with the interrupters, and also not say things over, but focus on what I’m saying and make it good. So far my plan with interrupters has been simply calling them out on it with some playful attitude: “Can I finish my sentence?” I think there’s a lot to be said for the balance. I used to work with a man who was very quiet.. but when he spoke, people listened, because he spoke with meaning, only when he had something valuable to say. And this worked, since he was pretty smart. I loved working with him.
-Lori


[…] recently inspired me to write a post called “Be Memorable!” Jon points out that stuttering makes us memorable, and that’s a good thing, especially in […]

December 2, 2011 at 9:41 AM
I love the last paragraph. Sometimes, we are memorable just because we stutter, and that is certainly cool, too. All of us want to be special, yet when we ARE actually different, we hate it… I wonder why that is? Great job, Pam!