Stress + Change = More Stuttering
Posted on: August 22, 2011
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This is a no-brainer. We all know that stress is not the cause of stuttering, but increased stress can seem to increase our stuttering, making it more noticeable or frustrating.
I wrote about this same topic two years ago when I was going through a unusually stressful time and noticed increased stuttering. You can check out that post here.
I have had a very stressful two months, filled with change and uncertainty, and some pain. On June 30, I was laid off from my job, and still don’t know if I will have a position at the start of the new school year.
On July 30, I had a bad fall from a bike. I needed stitches on my forehead, and sustained a deep tissue bruise on my shin, which 3 weeks later, is just beginning to feel normal again.
And last week, water came into my apartment through a broken drainage pipe outside of my apartment, soaking and ruining all of my carpets. I have to move. Doing so with less than a week’s notice is VERY stressful.
During these past weeks, I have noticed quite a bit more stuttering, in situations where I usually am quite mild. It’s been frustrating for me, because I am used to knowing when I am prone to stutter the most.
Now, I am stuttering a lot in different situations. Including one-on-one situations with friends with whom I rarely stutter. I feel very self-conscious when that occurs.
Does this sound familiar to anyone?
Impromptu Stuttering Q & A
Posted on: August 18, 2011
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This is another clip of Marc Vetri sharing with the audience at the FRIENDS 2011 convention in DC in late July 2011. After a wonderful keynote talk, (clips here) Marc took some unscripted questions from the audience.
We hear from several parents, an adult who stutters, and a teen who stutters who aspires to work in the Culinary Arts field one day.
This is great stuff – honest dialogue about stuttering from an inspiring role model. We definitely need more stuttering role models out there, visible and unafraid to stutter openly.
We’re getting there. We’ll get some women out there too!
Really Not Alone – Episode 64
Posted on: August 15, 2011
Episode 64 features Christine Dits, who hails from South Bend, Indiana. Christine is 22 years old, and just recently graduated from St. Mary’s College with her undergraduate degree in speech pathology.
She is looking to work in the special education field,while applying to graduate schools in the Mid-west. She wants to pursue her Master’s degree so she can one day practice as a licensed speech therapist. She has recently accepted a job as a speech therapy assistant.
I first met Christine when she was a student volunteer at the 2010 FRIENDS convention in Chicago. She attended her first NSA conference in 2010 as well, in Cleveland. We did not meet at that NSA conference, as sometimes happens when there are hundreds of participants!
Christine attended her second NSA conference this year, which was held last month in Ft Worth, Texas. In this episode, Christine talks about what her first time experience was like, and compares it to her second experience, where she felt much more comfortable and eager to meet new friends.
Listen in as we also talk about Christine’s therapy experiences, which did not start for her until towards the end of high school. We also discuss being a “twenty-something” who stutters, and what “recovery from stuttering” means for Christine.
Credit for the podcast safe music used in this episode goes to ccMixter. Feel free to leave comments or questions for either of us. Feedback is a gift.
Self Compassion
Posted on: August 12, 2011
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I just posted a comment to my sister on Facebook that there is no such thing as coincidence, as that has been told to me many times.
I started a blog post last night on self-compassion, as I am reading a great book on that subject right now, and went back to finish the post today. I happened to check into one of the stuttering email groups I belong to, and someone asked an interesting question that I responded to. And I realized that my response to him was about self-compassion.
So I deleted what I had written and decided to post my response to his question. This was his question: “What tips have any of you used to get turned in the opposite direction from negative thoughts and start convincing the Subconscious mind to ”Believe” in positive ones?”
Here’s how I responded to his question.
It sounds like your “inner critic” is running roughshod on you. That inner voice we all have that has been with us for as long as whatever “it” is that we don’t like or wish we could change. Mine still shows up a lot too, way more than I wish she would!
In your case, (and mine) “it” is stuttering. We hate it, we fear it, we wish it would go away. We feel inadequate, inferior, guilty,shamed, and scared of how other people will react.
People who are overweight have that “inner critic” too. In that case, the inner critic says things similar to what yours has said about stuttering:
“I don’t care how much you have learned about eating better
I don’t care how much you have learned about exercise
I don’t care that you feel better when you skip desert
I don’t care that your doctor says you would be healthier if you lost even 5 pounds.”
“We know that you are a big fat loser and are never going to change, so why bother doing any of those things? You are never going to change, no one is ever going to think you are attractive, so go ahead and eat that whole pizza or gallon of ice cream. It doesn’t matter”
It is very hard to be kind to ourselves and not beat our self up all the time. I am reading a good book on self-compassion right now, which reminds us/me that the best way to turn that inner-critic dialogue around is to literally “turn it around.”
When you begin to feel hopeless or anxious or scared or angry – try to be aware of that in the moment and try to say things to yourself like, “I know its hard for you when you stutter and you think everyone is judging you – but they are really not. It’s OK if you just let yourself stutter. You still are a good and valued person.”
Or, “it’s uncomfortable to stutter and see someone break eye contact or make a face, or even laugh. It hurts, doesn’t it? It’s OK to feel hurt once in a while. We all do. It’s OK to cry too”. (That part about crying I am still working on. I frequently have to remind myself that it really is OK.)
The more you tell yourself that you are OK and that whatever change you are attempting is going to take some time, the more practice you will give yourself being more positive with your thoughts instead of negative.
It is by re-shaping these negative thoughts into kinder, gentler ones that we are more able to accept that there are some things about us that we may not be able to completely change, but we are still lovable.
I think that is the whole crux of the matter with stuttering – we feel not good enough, and fear rejection. Being rejected means on some level that we feel unloved.
As hard as it is, allowing yourself to talk kindly to yourself, instead of letting that “inner critic” have free reign and hog up all the space, makes much more sense.
Having compassion for ourselves allows us to see that we are not perfect, and that we do not have to try to be. When we can be compassionate and gentle with ourselves, we then can be for others.
Huh! As I read this back, I was pretty impressed with how good that came out. I guess this book on self-compassion is really hitting some chords with me. What about you?
Episode 63 features “regular guest” Nina G who hails from San Francisco, CA. Nina bills herself as the Bay Area’s only female stuttering comic. She has been performing stand-up comedy for well over a year and has become a favorite in the Bay area comedy community.
Nina G has been featured twice before on this podcast, and we are so fortunate to see and hear her progression from just starting out in comedy, to being a successful and sought-after comedian. If you have not yet been introduced to Nina, check her out here in Reclaiming Her Space and Standing Up.
In today’s episode, we talk about what it was like for Nina G to perform for the first time in front of a stuttering audience. With the help of some friends from the NSA, Nina performed live at Rick O’Shea’s in downtown Ft Worth Texas. There were over 100 people who stutter in the audience, which is not the norm for any of Nina’s shows.
We talk about how that felt, being kind of surreal to finally be performing in front of “her people” and the bittersweet feeling knowing that she won’t soon get this opportunity again. It also felt surreal for me, to be in the audience and hear and watch Nina perform live, as I have previously only seen videos of her performance. (And I was recording!)
Credit for the podcast safe music used in this episode goes to ccMixter.
Below are two videos clips of Nina’s performances. The first is the “live” performance at Rick O’Shea’s in Ft Worth, Texas. Listen for where Nina “shouts me out” twice! (You can be sure I was thrilled to know I was recording when I heard that!) And the second video is Nina explaining to an audience back home what it feels like to have “stuttering withdrawal.”
Feel free to leave comments for either Nina or me. Feedback is a gift, and important. Be part of the dialogue!
Dishing About Stuttering
Posted on: August 5, 2011
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I might be sucker punched here, but if I had to choose who I thought was the better speaker at this year’s stuttering conferences, NSA and FRIENDS, I would choose Marc Vetri over David Seidler.
Nothing at all against Mr. Seidler, of course. He was highlighted in my last post and was deservedly the marquee keynote speaker at both conferences. He did a GREAT job! He stayed and interacted with as many people as possible at both conferences and delivered an inspirational message.
However, Marc Vetri was the perfect choice to address young kids and teens who stutter and their parents. Why? Because he stutters openly!
I happen to think it’s a really good idea to have people who stutter speak at stuttering conferences. And Vetri was phenomenal!
He is a renowned chef in the Philadelphia area, with three popular and thriving restaurants . He also won a 2010 Iron Chef competition, and regularly appears on the The Food Network channel.
He is an everyday guy who loves to cook and is enjoying industry success. With success comes more public speaking, and he stutters openly, not letting his stutter hold him back.
I had the good fortune to chat with Marc and his wife over lunch after he spoke at the conference. He is one regular guy who is a great role model!
Here is just a snippet of his five-star keynote address. I have more of him taking questions from the audience that I may be persuaded to post!
Snippets From Seidler’s Keynote
Posted on: August 3, 2011
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I was able to capture some of David Seidler’s keynote address at the FRIENDS convention in DC last month. All of us who were at either (or both) the NSA and FRIENDS conferences were indeed lucky to hear Mr. Seidler share with us. I suspect many of the young (and not so young) people will not soon forget these moments.
I know my journey would have been very different had I listened to anyone, let alone someone famous, talk about stuttering when I was a kid. I am so glad today’s young people have so many opportunities like this.
I am also glad that I am able to share some of these treasures with readers/listeners who were unable to attend the US stuttering conferences.
Up next, I will have some footage of Marc Vetri, the other keynote speaker at the FRIENDS convention. Marc is a renowned chef in Philadelphia and won Iron Chef in 2010. I had the good fortune of chatting with Marc and his wife at lunch after his talk. I look forward to sharing some of his inspirational words here as well.
Open Mic Experience
Posted on: August 1, 2011
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Last week, I did something that I have been wanting to do for a long time – speak at a local Open Mic. I have largely moved past my fears of speaking and presenting, through both Toastmasters and making presentations at stuttering conferences and workshops.
I do a lot of writing, prose and poetry, and have wanted to have my voice heard in a more creative, artistic manner for quite some time.
I searched around and found a listing of places in Albany, NY that host Open Mic sessions. A Toastmaster friend that also does stand-up comedy suggested one place in particular, so I decided to give that a shot.
Last Monday night, I signed up and “performed” in front of about 25 people. Most of the other performers before me had played musical instruments or sang, so I felt a little out-of-place with my spoken word pieces, but thing is, I DID IT. I planned to read one poem I wrote about two years ago, and then decided at the last-minute to write-up a second shorter piece that would “advertise” my stuttering a bit.
That proved to be a good decision. I read Forgive and Move On first, then paused, introduced myself by name and as a person who stutters, and then read my second piece.
What a great feeling! As I was sharing, you could have heard a pin drop. My voice was loud and clear over the mic up on stage, and everybody was watching and listening. As I walked back to my seat, one woman said, “that was beautiful”, and several guys came up to me and said what I did was wonderful and took a lot of courage. Another guy turned around and said to me, “it has been a while since I heard really great poetry.”
I was so happy I did this – I pushed myself way out of my comfort zone. I was even OK with getting a little choked up at the end. It wasn’t a “bad” choked up – I was just so happy that I did it that I felt a bit emotionally overwhelmed. I am thinking I may try it again.
I have a voice that needs to be heard!
Blown Away – Episode 62
Posted on: July 29, 2011
Episode 62 features Cynthia Scace who hails from Greenfield, Massachusetts. Cyn has been a caseworker for an elder and disabled services agency for 25 years.
Cynthia shares her entry into the stuttering community, when her then 3-year-old son showed signs of stuttering. A life-long stutterer, her first reaction was panic and fear. She wished her child could have any other disability but stuttering.
Cynthia researched and found the virtual support group, Stutt-L. She became actively involved, made new friends and learned new perspectives. A year later, in 1997, she attended her first NSA conference.
This episode packs a punch. We talk about Cynthia’s journey of finding peace for herself and her son, who is now 17 years old.
Listen in as we discuss childhood stuttering, negative therapy experiences, shame and acceptance, NSA and FRIENDS. Stuttering is now a positive part of Cynthia’s identity. Cynthia is very open as she relates how people have reacted to her struggled stuttering, bringing up stuttering, passive intervention and covert stuttering.
To my delight, Cynthia also shares how she began a NSA chapter with local people, including the late Marty Jezer, who wrote the wonderful book, Stuttering: A Life Bound Up In Words. Jezer’s book was the first I ever read about stuttering. I have loaned it out several times and always make sure I get it back!
Credit for the podcast safe music used in this episode goes to Dano Songs.
I invite you to leave comments. Feedback is a gift!
Their First NSA Conference
Posted on: July 27, 2011
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My Flip digital recorder was a great tool to have with me at the 2011 NSA Conference. When I realized that first-timers had been asked to sum up their experiences at the closing ceremonies, I pressed the record button.
It is so empowering to hear people express how moving and significant it is to participate in the stuttering community for the first time. Both Katie and Dustin indeed did that – they both helped to facilitate workshops too! I could not have done that at my first conference!
Listen and watch as Katie and Dustin sum up their conference experiences, in their own words and their own voices. They have made room for the stuttering. Have you?
(I did receive permission from both Katie and Dustin to post this clip on the blog, in case you’re wondering!)
Please leave comments here for either or both, so everyone who tunes in to this blog can see them. Not everyone hangs out on Facebook!
What We Took Away – Episode 61
Posted on: July 22, 2011
Episode 61 is a first for me. This is the first time I have recorded with several women at different times and attempted (notice I say attempted) to string the clips together into one cohesive episode. Here’s where we will separate the professionals from the amateurs. I am definitely in the latter category!
I started my journey with pod-casting saying that if producing these episodes became too much like work, I would quit. I have always tried to keep the episodes as simple as possible. That has not been hard to do, given my limited audio tech skills.
Sharing the unique stories of women who stutter continues to be very special for me, and I love to do it. So even trying something new did not scare me off.
This episode features three women who all were previous guests. We chat about their experiences at the recent National Stuttering Association conference. One woman attended for her first time, and the other two attended their second conferences. All three share their thoughts, reflections and take home lessons.
This was a great way for us to process this shared experience. Although it was a shared experience, it impacted each woman differently. Listen in as I chat with Anna Margolina, Nina Zito and Sarah Bryant. We talk a little bit about a lot of things, but mainly how it feels to attend a conference where stuttering is the norm.
Thanks to all three of you for taking the time to share your thoughts and reminding us all how special it is to come together as a stuttering community.
The podcast safe music used in today’s episode is credited to ccMixter.
Texan Stuttering At It’s Best
Posted on: July 19, 2011
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I am so glad I had my trusty Flip recorder with me when Vicki Schutter got up to speak at one of the general sessions at the National Stuttering Association conference. Vicki tells an incredible story of selflessness and support about her good friend Russ Hicks, a long time NSA member.
Watch and listen as Vicki’s story unfolds, and then how Russ reacts.
Being part of the stuttering community means more than just stuttering support. It also means behind-the-scenes acts of love and support for the relationships that are built among people. For that’s what we really celebrate in the stuttering community – the relationships!
This story moved me, for many reasons! I hope it moves you too!


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