Author Archive
Selective Mutism And Stuttering
Posted on: June 21, 2015
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I’m a huge fan of the Netflix series “Orange Is The New Black,” about the lives of women in prison. It is well written and has great character development. In season two, and now in season three, we learn more about major characters through flashbacks.
We learn why Norma is mute in season three. This is a spoiler alert – if you’re a fan and are not up to season 3, episode 7 yet, don’t read any further! 🙂
Episode 7 reveals in a flashback scene that the reason Norma doesn’t speak is that she is a stutterer. We see her attempt to speak in a scene from her youth to a cult leader. When she stutters, the leader tells her she doesn’t need to speak around him – that he hears her. We then understand that she chooses not to speak thereafter.
Several times in season 3 we also see Norma pull out a notepad and write the words that she chooses not to speak.
What do you think? Has anyone ever considered selective mutism as a way to deal with stuttering? Or using a notepad to write what you want to say?
I’ve read that the famous James Earl Jones chose to be mute when he was a child because he stuttered. I believe he didn’t speak for a number of years. It wasn’t until a sympathetic high school English teacher encouraged him to recite poetry that he began speaking again. James Earl Jones credits reciting poetry with helping him manage his stuttering.
I heard James Earl Jones perform at a local venue here in Albany, NY about 8 years ago. He read from his own poetry and wowed the audience with his booming voice and his heartfelt words. He stuttered openly several times during his reading. It was a wonderful night that was in sharp parallel to his choice to silence his own voice many years ago.
I’ve never considered choosing to be mute to manage my stuttering. I want to be heard too much. What about you?
Name Shame
Posted on: June 8, 2015
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Last week, I had the opportunity to emcee an awards event at my school. I call it an opportunity because I try to seize every chance I get to do public speaking. I enjoy it, while many of my fluent colleagues hate it and avoid it all costs. My co-workers were glad that I was willing to do it.
I have had years of experience with public speaking, through my association with Toastmasters and no longer dread it like I once did when I was really covert and afraid to stutter openly. But I still get a little anxious, like anyone would. My adrenaline gets flowing because like anyone, I want to do the best that I can at events like these.
As a stutterer, my biggest challenge is reading names aloud and introducing people. That was to be my primary role as emcee at the awards event – introducing each person and keeping the ceremony moving and flowing.
I was anxious about saying people’s names – as I knew I would stutter on them. And stutter I did. Some with light, easy repetitions, a couple with blocks.
No one seemed to care, as the event was about celebrating success and I was just a cog in the wheel to make sure everything went smoothly. The people whose names I was calling were getting certificates of appreciation – that’s what they focused on.
But it bothered me. It always does when it comes to names. I feel getting a person’s name right is important. Our name is our identity and it’s important. I feel bad when I stutter on a name and it “doesn’t come out right.” I feel like pronouncing someone’s name correctly is a show of respect.
I always worry about this – perhaps needlessly, as like I said, no one seemed to be bothered by it except me. It’s important to me that people get my name right, so I think I should get their’s right too.
What about you? Do you find it difficult with people’s names? Just your own name? Do you place importance on getting someone’s name right?
Fall Down, Get Back Up – Episode 142
Posted on: June 4, 2015
Episode 142 features Suzanne Tubman, who hails from County Leitrim,on the west coast of Ireland. Suzanne is a wife and mother of two baby girls and just recently secured a part-time job as a legal secretary. She is also an avid jogger.
Listen in as we talk about covert stuttering, “riding the wave of fluency and then taking a sky dive,” and choosing or not choosing to work on our speech.
Suzanne talks about her involvement with the Irish Stammering Association and how much that has enriched her life. She also shares a great analogy about the movie “The Wizard of Oz.”
Grab a cuppa and listen as we also discuss how stuttering is cool, how an adverse comment became a motivator, honest questions and reactions from listeners and so much more.
This was such an insightful episode and both of us agreed we could have talked on for hours. Feel free to leave comments or ask questions, as feedback is a gift.
The podcast safe music used in today’s episode is credited to ccMixter.
Reality Show Stuttering
Posted on: May 29, 2015
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Another TV reality show features someone who stutters, trying to make it big because of, or in spite of, their stuttering.
In the show, America’s Got Talent, we have a young man who stutters and is a comedian. His story is interesting because he says he stutters due to a sports injury. He explains it in the clip below.
Drew Lynch is a comedian and he’s trying to get people to laugh, but I would have liked to see some material that wasn’t encouraging laughing at just stuttering. All of his jokes were about stuttering.
What do you think?
She Doesn’t Shut Down-Episode 141
Posted on: May 26, 2015
Episode 141 features McKenna Rankin who hails from Dallas, Texas. McKenna is 26 years old and is currently studying for her National Counseling Exam. She will then be credentialed as a Licensed Professional Counselor. McKenna plans to be a mental health counselor and is interested in working with children.
Listen in as McKenna shares her journey with stuttering. She has found she has had to educate mental health counselors about stuttering, many who believe stuttering is anxiety based. It is exciting that McKenna is going into a field that she will be able to dispel a lot of myths about stuttering.
We also talk about a rock bottom moment that McKenna had when interviewing for grad school, where an interviewer asked her if she really thought she could be a counselor with her stuttering. This was the first roadblock McKenna saw to doing what she really wanted to do.
This propelled her to enroll in the Successful Stuttering Management Program (SSMP.) She says that was a life changing experience. She no longer shuts down because of stuttering.
We also discuss how stuttering helps her to have more empathy with clients and she thinks that will be an asset in her counseling practice.
The podcast safe music used in today’s episode is credited to ccMixter. Feel free to leave comments for McKenna.
No Laughing Matter
Posted on: May 13, 2015
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I had this article published today in my local newspaper. The commentary editor told me they don’t usually take “issue” pieces because it might sound like a PSA (Public Service Announcement.)
But he told me it was well written, interesting and effective and they would publish it as is, this week for National Stuttering Awareness Week.
Stuttering Awareness 2015
Posted on: May 11, 2015
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This week is National Stuttering Awareness Week in the United States. It’s an opportunity for people who stutter to talk about stuttering to those who don’t, to educate and raise awareness.
There are many ways to advertise and promote stuttering awareness. Here are a few.
1. Consider wearing a stuttering awareness tee-shirt, wrist band or lapel pin to work or out in the community. If people ask about it, mention you stutter and take the opportunity to explain what it is and how it feels.
2. In your office, display posters or a coffee mug that says something about stuttering. (These items can be found in the store at the National Stuttering Association.)
3. Consider contacting a radio station and asking if you can make a public service announcement (PSA) about stuttering.
4. Read blog posts or articles or literature about stuttering to educate yourself more about stuttering. Great free resources are available at The Stuttering Foundation.
5. Stutter openly this week. If you are usually covert about stuttering, try to allow yourself to stutter openly. Be open if people have questions about your speech. Seize the opportunity to raise awareness.
This week I am speaking to a high school senior class that is specific to scientific research and public health. I will be addressing my personal experience with stuttering along with talking about the neural and genetic basis of stuttering.
I have also submitted a brief article to my local newspaper about how to listen to someone who stutters. It has been accepted for publication and will be printed in the paper tomorrow.
What will you do this week?
Opening The Door
Posted on: May 8, 2015
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I had a really great conversation this week with a colleague about stuttering. I was talking with a new staff member about a Google hangout I participated in with people from all over the world, and how much I enjoyed it. She asked me what was the topic and I said stuttering.
I said, “I’m sure you’ve noticed that I stutter.” She said, “Yes, I’ve noticed, but you’re so confident, I didn’t think anything of it.”
We then went on to talk about stuttering. She asked me if I’ve ever had any treatment and I told her a bit about the therapy I was involved in years ago.
She went on to say that she knows someone who stutters severely, and his son does too. She said she thinks it’s great that I can convey so much confidence at work and not let stuttering limit me. It was a great way to start my day.
I’m glad I had this conversation with this new staff member. I figured she had definitley noticed my stuttering and maybe was curious and had some questions.
Initiating a simple conversation about an experience I had opened the door for us to talk about it.
Have you ever had such an experience at work? How did it go?
Life Is Short – Episode 140
Posted on: May 4, 2015
Episode 140 features Debbie Riordan, who hails from Dresser, Wisconsin. Debbie is a therapy aid at a nursing home. She really wants to get into writing, and is thinking of pursuing a college major called “Professional Communication and Emerging Media.”
Debbie shares many observations and insights about having lived with stuttering. She says, “I haven’t lived my life the way I could have.” Â We talk about covert stuttering and the price one pays to live in hiding.
Debbie also candidly talks about social anxiety and wonders if it is because of her stuttering.
Listen in as we also discuss fears, namely being afraid of rejection. Debbie shares that she is “in her head a lot and needs to get out of there.” Debbie also mentions how she realizes she hasn’t measured her speech based on her stuttering but on her silence. This is powerful as it relates to covert stuttering.
The podcast safe music used in this episode is credited to ccMixter. Please feel free to leave feedback.
There Is No Perfect
Posted on: April 28, 2015
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I read a post on a stuttering forum about a woman who has been asked to record a training video for her job.
She was asked to make this promotional video because she is good at her job and has a great attitude.
She posted that she really wanted to make the video but is afraid of “messing up” since her speech has been “really bad” lately. She said she wouldn’t want to do the video and have it turn out less than perfect.
Several people replied, encouraging her to take the chance and do it. Several other people wished her good luck and that they hoped she has good speech on the day of the recording.
I replied as well, encouraging her to do it and to be happy with her efforts no matter how her speech is on that given day. I said that imperfect people will probably be encouraged by seeing someone who isn’t perfect either.
None of us are perfect. Perfect doesn’t exist. Especially when it comes to the speech of people who stutter.
It has taken me a long time to believe this, for I grew up under the burden of trying to be a perfectionist in order to compensate for my speech. I thought if I was perfect at everything else, my stuttered speech wouldn’t be noticed and judged.
I was afraid of the judgement. If I didn’t sound perfect, I feared people would judge me negatively. Some did, as evidenced by the teasing and mimicking I tolerated growing up. Hell, I’ve been teased and mocked as an adult.
But I’ve slowly learned to shed the drive to be perfect. I think I am in recovery.
We can use all the tools and techniques we have to shape our speech into fluent speech. But if we stutter, we’re going to stutter. That’s all there is to it.
I hope the woman asked to do the video does it and stutters well. She doesn’t have to be perfect.
There is no perfect.
I Stutter Amazingly – Episode 139
Posted on: April 20, 2015
Episode 139 features Heidi Reynolds, who hails from Panama City, Florida. Heidi is 23 years old and works full-time as a nanny for twin children. She is also finishing up her undergraduate degree and is waiting to hear back from grad schools to which she has applied.
Heidi aspires to be a SLP and also wants to get her doctorate degree so she can research stuttering and eventually teach.
Listen in to a meaningful conversation about guilt. Heidi shares that she often feels a lot of guilt for listeners having to listen to her stutter. She is working on balancing that guilt with acceptance. She has reached a place where she feels comfortable with “this is me.”
We also discuss speech therapy experiences, use of speech tools, the Speech Easy device and so much more.
And we finish up by discussing the National Stuttering Association and the importance of self-help and support.
The podcast safe music used in today’s episode is credited to ccMixter.
Do We Ever Forget We Stutter?
Posted on: April 15, 2015
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I participated today in a great conversation about all things stuttering on the weekly Wednesday Stutter Social hangout.
We were talking about stuttering with confidence and whether practicing our speech increases confidence.
A couple of people mentioned that they intently practice speaking every day for one to two hours, to themselves. This practice helps those particular individuals feel more confident when they are speaking to others.
One guy mentioned that sometimes after practicing and feeling more confident, when he is speaking with others that he actually forgets he stutters.
I did a double take and mouthed “what?” I couldn’t wrap my brain around this.
The facilitator of the hangout asked us to reflect on “forgetting that we stutter” and think of a time where we might have experienced this.
To be honest, my first instinct was, “Nope I have never forgot that I stutter.” For years I tried to hide my stutter. I dealt with the mental gymnastics of word substitution and avoidance,which was a constant reminder of stuttering.
Now that I no longer do that (mostly) and stutter openly – more on some days than others- I am reminded every day that I stutter. Sometimes those stuttering reminders come at the most inopportune times.
But after the hangout was over and I thought about this some more, I found myself thinking that I sort of knew what the guy meant. There are times when I am very fluent and if I have a stuttering moment, it’s not really noticeable. At those times, when I’m not thinking of stuttering, I can understand how you can actually forget about stuttering.
At these times that I am not thinking about stuttering, I am also not acknowledging it. Perhaps by not acknowledging it, for a brief time, we can actually forget we stutter.
What do you think? Can you fathom ever forgetting that you actually stutter?
Physical Stutter
Posted on: April 10, 2015
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Interesting reference to stuttering!
I was watching an episode of “Nurse Jackie” on Showtime this week with a friend that also stutters. There was an interesting reference made to stuttering, which was comedic and meant to be funny.
A doctor character out of the blue grabbed the breast of the main nurse character. She became angry and immediately pulled away, saying something like, “are you kidding?”
The doctor explained that this was a reaction to stress that he gets, similar to Tourette’s Syndrome.
The doctor grabbed the same nurse’s breast later in the episode. She reacted the same way and the doctor responded with “I can’t help it. When I get stressed, I react like this. It’s like a physical stutter.”
Both my friend and I laughed. We weren’t at all offended by the reference to stuttering, which of course does not manifest itself in such a way.
What do you think? Would you have found it funny? Or do you think it was in poor taste?
Stammering Openly – Episode 138
Posted on: April 7, 2015
Episode 138 features Mery el Idrissi, who hails from Mehdia, Kenitra, Morocco. Mery is 17 years old and is in her last year of high school. She wants to be a doctor someday, specifically a dermatologist.
Listen in as we discuss growing up with a stammer, teasing as a youngster, friends and support, and stammering openly. Mery also discusses the challenge she has with relationships. She feels a lack of confidence when it comes to talking with boys, even though they know she stammers.
We also discuss the support and inspiration Mery gets from the Facebook group, Women Who Stammer, the only Facebook group exclusively for women who stutter.
This was a fun conversation with a lovely young lady who is a great communicator. Mery ends the conversation by sharing that we all have a voice and it must be heard.
The podcast safe music used in today’s episode is credited to ccMixter.
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