Posts Tagged ‘anxiety and stuttering’
You can’t connect with other people if you’re constantly stuck in your own head. This goes if you’re anxious, depressed, self absorbed or if you stutter.
We fail to make meaningful connections with those around us when we become consumed with worry or fear about how people will react to us. We get so caught up in what we are thinking that we fail to learn what the other person is thinking. These can be self defeating behaviors.
I think it’s true that people who stutter can also be anxious or depressed. I’ve written about this several times before. While anxiety and depression are not the cause of stuttering, both can certainly exasperate the stuttering experience.
And I also think it’s true that people who stutter can be very self absorbed. There are times when we think about stuttering constantly, and not positively! I’ve heard people say they’ve gone to bed thinking about stuttering and wake up thinking about stuttering. For me, when I was extremely covert, it was like a prison. I felt suffocated by the constant thoughts and worries about how I sounded when I dared to speak.
My good friend J and I recently talked about anxiety and stuttering. He hates how he feels when he thinks about stuttering and feels that he thinks about it too much. He worries that he’s not connecting with others because he gets so preoccupied with stuttering.
One of the things we’ve talked about a lot is to find other things to do that gets you out of your head. Having something to do that connects you with other people is vital to getting “unstuck.” Some examples are Toastmasters, Improv or local meet ups where you can find activities that you have in common with other people.
Thinking about stuttering all of the time is going to keep you in your head. You’ll miss out on engaging with other people and you’ll run the risk of people thinking that you’re unfriendly, unapproachable or shy, when none of those may be the case.
Getting out of your own head is easier said than done. But talking about your worries and fears with someone else is always a good idea, as well as finding things to do that take you out of your comfort zone and give you a chance to genuinely connect with others.
Try it. Try one new thing. Set it as a goal for 2017.
Episode 140 features Debbie Riordan, who hails from Dresser, Wisconsin. Debbie is a therapy aid at a nursing home. She really wants to get into writing, and is thinking of pursuing a college major called “Professional Communication and Emerging Media.”
Debbie shares many observations and insights about having lived with stuttering. She says, “I haven’t lived my life the way I could have.” We talk about covert stuttering and the price one pays to live in hiding.
Debbie also candidly talks about social anxiety and wonders if it is because of her stuttering.
Listen in as we also discuss fears, namely being afraid of rejection. Debbie shares that she is “in her head a lot and needs to get out of there.” Debbie also mentions how she realizes she hasn’t measured her speech based on her stuttering but on her silence. This is powerful as it relates to covert stuttering.
The podcast safe music used in this episode is credited to ccMixter. Please feel free to leave feedback.