Author Archive
Service To Stuttering Community
Posted on: April 3, 2017
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I was so surprised this past Saturday night to be recognized for my work with the stuttering community. I had been invited by a good friend to hear him deliver a keynote speech at the annual weekend workshop for people who stutter at The College of St Rose in Albany, NY.
My friend Mitch spoke about the benefits of Stutter Social to the stuttering community. Stutter Social is video conferencing using Google Hangout software to hold a virtual support group. I have been lucky enough to be a host for Stutter Social for 3 and 1/2 years now. Every other Sunday I facilitate a 90 minute group for people who stutter from all across the US and other parts of the world too.
Mitch used technology during his keynote speech and brought Stutter Social to life. He had 4 people who are hosts speak about the impact this has on the stuttering community. I thought I was going to do the same thing, but in person, since I was there.
But when Mitch started to introduce me, he gave me a much longer introduction than I expected. He shared all of my involvement with the stuttering community with the audience but didn’t name me by name until the end. He then called me up to receive the first ever Stutter Social service award for my service to Stutter Social and the greater stuttering community. I was so surprised and happy that several of my good friends were there to see it via technology.
I don’t do what I do for the stuttering community looking for something in return. But it sure felt great to receive this award in such a surprise fashion. I was both proud and humbled. It’s important to give to the stuttering community – you never know the impact you may have on a person.
There’s A Word For This – Ep. 169
Posted on: March 30, 2017
This episode of the podcast has been taken down, on request of the guest. It has been saved and perhaps one day can be republished.
Virtual Reality For Stuttering
Posted on: March 21, 2017
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Today I read a really interesting article about using virtual reality to help people who stutter confront some of their social anxieties.
It seems a 24 year medical product designer in the UK is developing software that can expose people to some of their anxiety triggers and help them to improve how they react. The young designer stutters himself.
The software was tested with a stuttering self help support group and participants showed a decrease in anxiety levels after repeated sessions with the software. Some also showed improvement concerning their speech.
The goal of the virtual reality software is to allow people to practice exposure therapy from the comfort of their own home.
You can read the article here.
What do you think? Would you be open to using something like this to work on stuttering related anxiety? It certainly sounds promising!
Glass Half Full – Episode 168
Posted on: March 10, 2017
Episode 168 features Hannah Smith who hails from Langley, British Columbia, Canada. Hannah is a home based Certified Nutritional Practitioner. She is able to work with anyone in the alternative health care field. Learn more about Hannah here at Fraser Valley Nutrition.
Listen in as we discuss how a balanced, healthy and active lifestyle has positively impacted Hannah’s speech. We discuss stuttering and anxiety, being open about and advertising stuttering and how to deal with the stress of stuttering.
We also discuss Hannah’s involvement in the stuttering community. She recalls meeting someone else who stutters for the first time when she was 16 and how that made her feel less sad and alone. And we talk about therapy and how it’s not for everyone and is definitely not “one size fits all.” Hannah also mentions how her stuttering almost serves as an alarm, telling her when she is unhappy or uncomfortable.
The podcast safe music used in today’s episode is credited to ccMixter.
Interviews And Stuttering
Posted on: March 8, 2017
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Many people who stutter worry about how to manage job interviews. It has been said that interviews are the single most stressful communication situation that a person who stutters faces. It can be intimidating trying to prove that you meet the expectations of excellent verbal communication.
I used to be one of those people. I definitely worried about how I would handle when stuttering reared it’s ugly head during a job interview. I ultimately wound up disclosing at the start of the interview conversation that I stutter.
These days I am dealing with being on the other side of the interview table. I am helping to interview students who are applying to our college in the high school programs. So I am asking the questions and trying to make the student candidates feel at ease.
I have not disclosed at the start of the interviews that I stutter. I don’t feel it’s relevant to why the student is there. I’m stuttering – especially when I have to read one of the questions from the scripted set of questions we use. I’ve noticed a couple of raised eyebrows and smiles when I’ve stuttered but nothing beyond that. I think the students are too nervous themselves to give me and my stuttering much thought.
I am an effective communicator even when I stutter. I am confident in my ability to convey my message and I don’t let my stuttering stop me from doing this part of my job. I think just plowing ahead and speaking with confidence is the way to go, as when I’m confident, it lets the student know to have confidence in me.
Have any of you ever had the experience of being on the other side of the interview table? How did it go?
Loves Speaking – Episode 167
Posted on: March 1, 2017
Episode 167 features Hazel Percy, who hails from East London, in the U.K. Hazel works in an elderly care home, but her real passion is in public speaking and giving talks in her community. She enjoys sharing her journey towards getting over stuttering.
Listen in as Hazel shares her experiences with early speech therapy, The McGuire Program, and neuro-linguistic programming (NLP.)
Hazel also talks about how she was influenced by people who seemed to have recovered from stuttering, and she became very interested in learning about natural fluency. These days, she combines techniques learned from the McGuire program with elements of natural fluency. Hazel is also a proud 4 year member of Toastmasters.
The podcast safe music used in today’s episode is credited to ccMixter.
Producer Note: Yes, there is a lot of static in this episode. We had a transatlantic internet connection and it was not always the best. Focus on Hazel’s content – what she has to say is worth listening to!
Would You Take A Pill?
Posted on: February 13, 2017
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Last night in a Stutter Social hangout, we had a rousing conversation about whether one would take a pill to cure stuttering if it was available. There were 8 of us in the hangout and there was a lot of discussion on the pros and cons of suddenly being fluent.
Several people said they would take such a pill in a heartbeat. They want fluency and the ease of communication that comes with it. They couldn’t really fathom why someone who stutters would choose NOT to take the pill.
Several people indicated that they wouldn’t take the pill because they’re not sure they’d like the person they might become. After stuttering so many years, one of course gets used to being the person they are, stutter and all. And some said that stuttering has helped shape the person they are.
One person said that stuttering or suddenly being fluent brings us choices. Fluency would bring us choices that we don’t now have. We might choose to put ourselves in speaking situations that we’d never dream of now.
And it was mentioned that if we didn’t stutter, we wouldn’t have the rich connections and friendships we now have in the stuttering community. Of course, we’d have other friendships with people that don’t stutter that certainly could be just as rich as those we’ve made.
It’s certainly an interesting question. Personally, I wouldn’t take such a pill. Being covert so long, I hated my stuttering and did everything I could to deny it existed and to pretend that I was fluent. It worked but at a toll. It was physically, emotionally and spiritually exhausting to live a life of hiding. When I finally couldn’t take it anymore – when I felt so inauthentic I felt like a fraud – I made the decision that I wasn’t going to live like that anymore.
I embarked on a journey of self discovery that I could live, and even thrive, with stuttering. I learned how to stutter openly and to accept that it’s a part of me. I learned how to stutter fluently. It took me over 8 years to reach that point and as far as I ‘m concerned, there’s no going back. I like who I am. I like all the pieces that make up me. And stuttering is one of those pieces.
What about you? If there was a pill you could take that made you fluent, with no side effects, would you take it?
Episode 166 features Kim Block, who hails from Burnaby, British Columbia, Canada. Kim works as a secretary at a school for the deaf and knows sign language. She says, “It’s the only language I am fluent in.” Kim is married to her husband David who also stutters and they have two children.
Students and staff at her school are very supportive of Kim’s stuttering because she celebrates it. Every October, she has a party to celebrate International Stuttering Awareness Day. She emails tidbits about stuttering to colleagues and is very open about her stuttering. Peers are OK with her stuttering because Kim is OK with it.
Kim has also written a children’s book about stuttering. She wrote it for a little girl in her school who stutters because there were no books in the school library about stuttering. The book is called “Adventures of a Stuttering Superhero: Adventure #1 Interrupt-Itis.” Kim has plans for the book to have a total of nine adventures. She has read the book in front of the whole school. Kim wants kids first experience with stuttering to be positive.
Listen in to a great conversation that really celebrates stuttering.
The music clip used in this podcast is credited to ccMixter.
Speaking Goals for 2017
Posted on: January 17, 2017
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How many of you have speech or speaking goals for 2017? I usually don’t set speech goals for myself, because I tell myself I am comfortable with, and accepting of, my speech.
However, I have given this a lot of thought and there are some things I’d like to work on in the coming year. Since I finished Toastmasters and really don’t have a desire to go back anymore, I find I don’t have as many opportunities to push myself out of my comfort zone. I miss those monthly opportunities to speak regularly but I was tiring of the structure of Toastmasters.
Don’t get me wrong! Toastmasters was one of the best things I ever did for myself as a person who stutters. I found courage and confidence I didn’t know I had. I highly recommend it for anyone looking for speaking challenges. I just found that 7 years of bi-weekly meetings was enough. I do miss the people though.
Some of you may recall that I tried improv in 2016 for the first time ever and found that I really liked it. That was a big time push out of my comfort zone. I liked the “in the moment” spontaneity of improv and being to able to create something out of nothing just by taking a chance and thinking on your feet.
In 2017, I really want to take a second level improv class and learn more about being comfortable with spontaneity. I don’t want my stuttering to hold me back from taking creative chances with speech. So far, a second level hasn’t come up yet, but I will keep my eye out and watch for it.
I have a big speaking challenge coming up in April. I submitted a proposal and was approved to speak at the New York State Speech Language and Hearing annual conference. I will be giving a two hour workshop on “Reclaiming Her Space: From Covert to Overt Stuttering.” I am really excited about this but anxious at the same time. My perfectionist self really wants me to be perfect for this audience of SLPs and SLP students.
I know it’s not realistic to have expectations like that for this talk. I can only tell my story as best as I can and hopefully relay important information to the audience that will help them in some aspect of their work with people who stutter.
I also want to find some other speaking challenge or goal for the year. Does anyone have any ideas? I’d love your feedback.
Spit It Out
Posted on: January 4, 2017
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It’s been a long time since someone told me to “spit it out” when I was caught in a stuttered moment. It happened this morning at work with a colleague.
She’s not someone that I am particularly close with, but I have mentioned to her that I stutter. So I was surprised this morning when she mocked the word I stuttered on and then said “spit it out.” She said it laughingly and while we were with someone else so I was taken off guard and just kind of smiled and walked away.
But it really bothered me!
I felt like I should have said something to her right away that I don’t like when someone says that when I’m stuttering but I let the moment go. I was kind of embarrassed because she said it in front of another colleague.
So, I plan to pull her aside and say something when I feel like it’s the right moment. I always am conscious of not embarrassing the “offender” because that’s not my goal. I just want to educate her so it doesn’t happen again. Hopefully, I’ll have the courage to find that right moment.
What would you have done in the moment?
Stuck In Your Own Head
Posted on: December 29, 2016
You can’t connect with other people if you’re constantly stuck in your own head. This goes if you’re anxious, depressed, self absorbed or if you stutter.
We fail to make meaningful connections with those around us when we become consumed with worry or fear about how people will react to us. We get so caught up in what we are thinking that we fail to learn what the other person is thinking. These can be self defeating behaviors.
I think it’s true that people who stutter can also be anxious or depressed. I’ve written about this several times before. While anxiety and depression are not the cause of stuttering, both can certainly exasperate the stuttering experience.
And I also think it’s true that people who stutter can be very self absorbed. There are times when we think about stuttering constantly, and not positively! I’ve heard people say they’ve gone to bed thinking about stuttering and wake up thinking about stuttering. For me, when I was extremely covert, it was like a prison. I felt suffocated by the constant thoughts and worries about how I sounded when I dared to speak.
My good friend J and I recently talked about anxiety and stuttering. He hates how he feels when he thinks about stuttering and feels that he thinks about it too much. He worries that he’s not connecting with others because he gets so preoccupied with stuttering.
One of the things we’ve talked about a lot is to find other things to do that gets you out of your head. Having something to do that connects you with other people is vital to getting “unstuck.” Some examples are Toastmasters, Improv or local meet ups where you can find activities that you have in common with other people.
Thinking about stuttering all of the time is going to keep you in your head. You’ll miss out on engaging with other people and you’ll run the risk of people thinking that you’re unfriendly, unapproachable or shy, when none of those may be the case.
Getting out of your own head is easier said than done. But talking about your worries and fears with someone else is always a good idea, as well as finding things to do that take you out of your comfort zone and give you a chance to genuinely connect with others.
Try it. Try one new thing. Set it as a goal for 2017.
Stuttering Rockstar
Posted on: December 23, 2016
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I got a wonderful birthday gift from one of my sisters last week. It was a complete, thoughtful surprise. She had come to my home and left a gift bag on my dining room table, so I saw it immediately when I got home. (She has a key to my place!)
I opened the gift bag and pulled out a mouse pad that was decorated with my initial P and then my full name (Pamela) and underneath the words “Stuttering Rockstar.”
This meant so much to me for several reasons. First, because she made the effort to get something and bring it over to my place so that it would be an after work surprise.
But more importantly, this was so meaningful because it had something to do with stuttering. My sister and I never talk about stuttering. In fact, I’ve always thought she found it uncomfortable and that’s why we never talk about it.
But she clearly sees how important it is to me and must have noticed that friends on Facebook often refer to me as StutterRockStar and she picked up on it. That meant the world to me, that she notices and pays attention and figured that this would be something that I’d really like. And she was right. I really like it and will proudly use it at work.
Maybe this will open the door to talk about stuttering with her once in a while. Or with other members of my family too.
Has anyone in your family ever done something cool and completely surprising like this that has to do with stuttering?
I Can’t! I Stutter!
Posted on: December 12, 2016
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Last week I was meeting with some students who had been recommended by their teachers to help me with outreach presentations. The students will co-present with me at their home school and share their experience as a current student enrolled in one of our career areas.
I was meeting with two young men from one of our programs, describing the details of the presentations. One of the guys said no right away. He said he wasn’t comfortable at all with standing up in front of people and speaking. I encouraged him to look at it as an opportunity to get some practice. He was adamant that he didn’t want to speak. This is a voluntary speaking opportunity and I let him off the hook.
Another student was in my office at same time, overhearing this conversation I had with his classmate. When I asked him, he expressed apprehension and said he didn’t really think he could do it, because he stutters. I leaped at the opportunity to let him know that I stutter too. He looked at me with surprise, as if he couldn’t believe that a staff person could also stutter.
I assured him that I do these presentations all the time and don’t let my stuttering interfere with conveying my message. He agreed to help out. We are doing the presentations at his school tomorrow. I am proud of him for deciding to take a chance and push himself out of his comfort zone.
I was surprised to learn that there is a student who stutters in my school. I haven’t run into any students that stutter in my 9 years here. I am glad that I shared with him right away that I stutter too!
Full Disclosure
Posted on: December 2, 2016
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This is the time of year that I visit schools and do a lot of presentations about program options for students entering their junior and senior years of high school. Over the course of 2 months, I make about 50 presentations.
I usually hesitate to disclose that I stutter to these high school students because I worry that it will detract from what I’m talking about. I’m not going to make a presentation about stuttering so I don’t ever plan to talk about stuttering.
Sometimes though it’s unavoidable!
Yesterday while doing my second presentation of the day, I was stuttering exceptionally well. Like on almost every word. I felt really self-conscious and was ultra aware of how I sounded. I worried that the kids were going to think something was wrong, as I was in full-on repetition mode and also hesitating and pausing a lot.
So I decided to stop for a moment, took a deep breath, and said to the students, “Hey guys, I want you to know something. I stutter and I’m having a real stutter-y day. So if you hear stuttering, that’s all it is, just stuttering. OK?” And then I went right back to where I left off in my presentation. And it was OK.
The students didn’t bat an eyelash. No one commented or made funny faces or anything. They just took it in stride.
I was so relieved. Putting it out there like that made it easier for me to continue stuttering and actually I noticed that I gradually stuttered less. And I was relieved that I actually disclosed, because I’m not really comfortable doing that while making work presentations.
Now that I did it like this, I feel like I’ll be more comfortable doing it again if need be.
The disclosure was for my benefit, not my audience. I said what I did to make myself more comfortable while stuttering so well. It was a small form of self-care that I really needed to do.
What do you think about how I handled it? Have you done something similar?
Treasure Your Voice-Episode 165
Posted on: November 28, 2016
Episode 165 features Emily Purkey who hails from Portland, Oregon. Emily is 17 years old and a senior in high school. She is applying to colleges and plans to create her own major. Emily is actively involved in leadership activities in school and is passionate about raising awareness about stuttering.
Listen in as we talk about experiences with speech therapy, the importance of working on confidence, and Emily’s involvement in several stuttering associations. She talks about The Stuttering Association for the Young, or SAY and the National Stuttering Association or NSA. SAY helped Emily find her way and changed her life.
We also discuss the importance of finding community, stepping out of your comfort zone and the value of your voice. Below you can see Emily’s TED Talk, which she delivered in April of this year. Talk about stepping out of your comfort zone!
Music used in today’s show is credited to ccMixter.
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