Posts Tagged ‘stuttering with confidence’
Speed Networking And Stuttering
Posted on: December 8, 2012
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Tried something totally outside of my comfort zone this week. I attended a professional networking group meeting, where the theme was “speed networking.” I was apprehensive before the meeting, as I had no idea what to expect. All I knew was that it involved talking and meeting people, quickly.
Upon arrival, I was warmly greeted by the organizer, who quickly filled me in on how it works.
People sit across from each other at a long table, and in 2 minutes (one minute each) you and the person directly across from you tell as much as you can about your self and your business. You also exchange business cards.
Then one side of the table moves down a seat so you are talking to the next person.
It’s designed so that you can meet 25 or 30 people in 90 minutes, and the format “forces” you to talk, so that you can’t hang back in a corner and not participate. It’s actually quite a great idea, once you get past the nerves.
I was worried that this would be a nightmare for me, as a person who stutters. Talking fast to strangers is not anything I have “always wanted to do.”
But it wasn’t a nightmare – it went just fine. Once I chatted with the first person, I felt comfortable and confident. Did I stutter? Yep, throughout, but nobody seemed to notice or care.
This was a valuable event for me. What do you think? Could you be comfortable at this type of networking event? Share your thoughts.
They Can Bloody Wait – Episode 89
Posted on: July 18, 2012
Episode 89 features Mandy Taylor, who hails from Belfast, Northern Ireland. Mandy returned to college about 5 years ago to study accounting.
Mandy felt unsupported by her family, especially her father. Her journey began when she left home at 18.
After seeing the movie “The Kings Speech” she felt empowered to research stammering for the first time and learned about the British Stammering Association. She attended her first BSA conference last year, meeting other women like herself.
We discuss raising stammering awareness, the support group that Mandy started herself, stuttering as a disability, employment discrimination and the need for advocacy. Mandy concludes by sharing her belief that persons who stammer have to be the ones to tell others about stammering, so people will understand and know what to expect.
I had so much fun chatting with Mandy and hearing her story. Feel free to leave comments below for either of us.
The podcast safe music used in this episode is credited to ccMixter.
NSA Conference Memorable Moments
Posted on: July 9, 2012
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First open mic session of the conference: a first-time adult stutterer from Mexico gets up and talks about the warmth and emotion he felt so quickly by being with so many people who stutter. His wife got up and shared that she couldn’t have realized how great support feels and burst into tears, with no shame at all.
Workshop: “Inviting Women Who Stutter to the Table” – about 25 women talked about issues unique to women. We discussed claiming our space, strengthening our voice, and how stuttering affects our femininity. Many shared that it was a very powerful workshop, that it’s important for women who stutter to share with women who stutter. Many came up to us suggesting that this be a staple at future conferences.
Presentation: “The Stuttering Monologues” – first time ever trying something new, a story telling performance that included lessons learned, inspiration, humor and dignity. The room was packed, standing room only, until someone finally decided to raise the wall and open another room. People came up to me saying how great it was. It was such a good feeling to see that this worked as well as I had hoped it would. Hope we get to do it again.
First-timer moment: met Kurt from Austria, as he was heading up to his room about 9pm on Tuesday night. I introduced myself and asked him where he was going. He said he didn’t know what to do and how to meet people. We chatted for a while and I suggested he come with me to the hotel lobby and I introduced him around. By Friday’s first-timer luncheon, he looked right at home and shared that he was so glad he had not gone upstairs that night.
First-timer moment – met Ali from Montreal, Canada in person after having only talked over Skype and briefly communicated via Facebook. It seemed like we already knew each other, as we had an instant connection.
Impact moment: seeing Anita from Sweden in person after several years. She told me that she heard from a lot of people that I have made an impact on their lives. That was a shared “cry” moment.
Impact moment: Tracy called me over to show me a picture on her cell phone that she has kept since last year. It is me wearing my tee-shirt that says “I Stutter. Deal With It.” She says she shows people that all the time. Made me feel really good!
Impact moment: had quite a few people come up to me and say “Are you Pam?” I’ve heard your name so much I really wanted to meet you in person.” So humbling to know that a lot of people know me from how “out there” I am.
Impact moment: chatting with the wife of a second-timer who stutters on the hotel veranda Saturday night. We got talking about how much she learned in such a short time. She said, “I never knew how much he really goes through with his speech, because he never told me. Being here has completely opened my eyes. I will be a more patient listener.” She had tears in her eyes.
Workshop: “Using Story Telling to Create a Culture” – participants paired up and shared a personal story with each other. It was so special to see the oldest guy in the room, a stutterer, paired up with the youngest guy in the room, a 14-year-old guy whose brother stutters. These two actively shared stories with each other, and then were seen exchanging contact information with each other.
First-timer moment: meeting Kervin (originally from St. Lucia) in the hallway of the hotel, as he stopped me and asked, “excuse me, what do we do now?” We chatted for a bit and I took him and introduced him to a bunch of people, who I later saw him with throughout the weekend. We touched base every day, and on the last day, he came up to me and told me he knows we are going to be great friends for a long time. We have already emailed each other since being home!
Impact moment: getting the chance to really spend time with Hanan (from Israel) and realize how much we have in common even though we come from different worlds.
First-timer moment: meeting Connie (from Alberta, Canada) who had emailed me a few weeks ago to tell me that she was scared to get up in front of others at an open mic session, but really wanted to do it. We had also talked on the phone before the conference, and talked about what to expect. I was so proud to see her speak with confidence at two open mic sessions.
It’s these little moments that paint the picture of how significant it is to come together in a community of support.
Grateful – Episode 87
Posted on: June 25, 2012
Episode 87 features Molly Tkacik, who hails from Coopersburg, Pennsylvania. Molly is 23 years old and works as a Certified Nurse Assistant with Alzheimer’s patients.
Molly just recently returned from an eleven month mission trip to eleven countries. What a feat for a young person! Amazing!
Listen in as Molly describes how she found this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to travel the world and engage in ministry work.
Molly shares her journey with stuttering and the perspective shift she has had as a result of her physical journey. We also discuss building up and tearing down walls, acceptance, confidence and gratitude.
To learn more about the work Molly was involved in, please visit her blog at worldrace. I was very inspired by Molly’s story. Please feel free to leave comments for Molly (or me!) Remember, feedback is a gift.
The podcast safe music used in this episode is credited to ccMixter.
Teachable Moments – Episode 86
Posted on: May 23, 2012
Episode 86 features Emily Gurdian, who hails from New Orleans, LA. Emily is 23 years old and a teacher. She is presently in graduate school at the University of Portland (Oregon) where she is pursuing Educational Leadership.
Listen in as we discuss a range of topics. We talk about teasing, mocking and dumb comments. We discuss being stunned into silence sometimes by hurtful comments about stuttering, and how we deal with it.
Emily also shares about what it is like to be a substitute teacher and constantly having to adapt to new kids.
Emily plans to focus her Master’s research on how stuttering affects a child’s entire academic performance. She chose this topic because it met her professor’s criteria of being interesting and important. And because communication affects every aspect of a child’s learning experience.
Be sure to listen in to this great conversation with a young teacher who is insightful and confident. Feel free to leave feedback for either of us, or let Emily know what a great job she did.
Podcast safe music used in this episode is credited to ccMixter.
Saying It
Posted on: May 5, 2012
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Recently, a friend shared a favorite poem as the invocation at our Toastmasters meeting. She read “Saying It” by Phillip Booth. As I listened, the first lines really spoke to me.
Saying it. Trying to say it.
Not to answer to logic, but leaving our very lives open to how we have to hear ourselves say what we mean.
The first part of this poem could have been written about stuttering. That’s not why a fellow Toastmaster chose to share this at our meeting. She was no doubt relating to how we communicate and choose our words, as that is a focus in Toastmasters.
But I heard struggle, vulnerability, and guilt. I wasn’t just listening, I was relating and processing, on a deep, personal level.
Maybe other Toastmasters heard the same, for of course it’s not only stutterers who struggle with saying what they want to say.
As a person who stutters, those simple words – “Saying It” – struck such a chord with me. Sometimes we can’t say it, or don’t say it, or change what we were going to say.
We are afraid of what the struggle will look like as we try to say it, and how we, and our listeners, have to hear ourselves say what we mean. I know I have been afraid to just “say it.” I worry about what others will think, still.
And there are times when I really don’t like having to hear myself say what I mean.
What about you? What do you think?
Episode 9 of this series welcomes John Bombatch, who hails from Kettering, Ohio. John is married with one son and two dogs. He works as a journalist, which John considers unique for a person who stutters.
John has been a sports writer for 19 years, and just recently started a new “beat” as an education reporter, which is really different for him!
John shares how he discovered as a child that he could write really well. In 6th grade, he helped start a school newspaper. The rest is history.
We have a great conversation, with lots of laughs. Listen in as we talk about some experiences he has had interviewing people, and some interesting reactions.
John talks about how he manages being made fun of sometimes, and once when the table were turned, and it was thought he was making fun of Annie Glenn. His funny stories beautifully illustrate how useful humor is with managing stuttering.
We also discuss moments when John doesn’t stutter, interviewing skills and public speaking. He discusses speech therapy, and a therapist who reminded him that people really want to hear what he has to say.
Please leave comments for John here, or just let him know what a great job he did. Music used in this episode is credited to ccMixter.
Episode 8 of the conversations with men who stutter features Michael Callicutt, who hails from central North Carolina. He has been in St Louis, Missouri, his wife’s hometown, since last Fall. Micheal has been teaching band for seven years to students in grades 6 through high school.
Music has always been important to Micheal. He didn’t flourish academically in school until he joined band at age 10, when “all of a sudden, everything made sense.” He knew then that music was his gift.
In college, Micheal actually started of with pre-dentistry classes, thinking he would not be able to support a family on a teaching salary. But he quickly learned that was not for him, and allowed himself to follow his music calling.
We discuss how stuttering impacted his college studies – he had a lot of self doubt and fears, worrying about completing the speaking aspects and teaching internships.
We also talk about how Michael almost never stutters in front of his students, interesting reactions from listeners, and true expressions of self.
Feel free to leave feedback or ask questions in the comment section of this blog. Let Micheal know what a great job he did!
Music used in this episode is credited to ccMixter.
She’s Got Talent – Episode 83
Posted on: March 15, 2012
Episode 83 features Nina G, the only female stuttering stand-up comic. Nina hails from Oakland, California. She has been doing stand up comedy for two years now, and making a real name for herself.
Nina believes comedy is artistic expression that is also a social change vehicle. Nina is a huge disability advocate, and hopes that people are thinking differently about stuttering due in part to her comedy and advocacy.
Nina recently auditioned for the television show America’s Got Talent. We talk about the how and why, and what motivated Nina to audition.
Nina shares in this conversation, as she has in previous episodes, that the only person she ever knew who stuttered publicly in the media was Stuttering John of the Howard Stern show. When Nina found out that Stern was a judge on the America’s Got Talent TV show, Nina decided that she wanted to try and interact with Howard Stern.
We also talk about the continued absence of role models who actually stutter in the media or high profile leadership positions.
Change is needed. Listen in as these two women who stutter share our feisty opinions on why women who stutter are needed as positive, visible role models.
You can also check out this video of Nina talking about the Howard Stern show and challenging the internal stigma of stuttering.
Music used in this episode is credited to ccMixter. Feel free to leave comments or ask questions. Remember, feedback is a gift.
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The story about Shaq (Shaquille O’Neal – former US basketball player) coming out as a person who stutters has got a lot of attention on the blogs and social media.
On March 3, a video clip was released featuring Shaq discussing that he stutters for a Dove (soap) commercial. I didn’t like it! I don’t buy it! Shaq was a huge media presence in his basketball prime and he never spoke about stuttering when legions of kids adored him and looked up to him. He would have ramped up his role model status if he had “come out” when he was actively playing hoops!
My fellow blogger and mentor Daniele Rossi, of Stuttering Is Cool writes his reflection about another famous stutterer getting attention, even though he doesn’t stutter. Daniele and I appear to agree on this issue.
I think if famous people are going to be asked to promote stuttering awareness, then they should stutter. At least on one or two words. Or have at least one person who actually stutters be a spokesperson for something. Hey, maybe even a woman!
I posted my thoughts about this on one of the stuttering Facebook groups, and I got a lot of heat. People said I should give him a break – that it’s great that there is one more avenue for stuttering awareness.
Here’s what my comment was:
Sorry Shaq! I don’t buy it! Ordinary people who stutter (and use Dove soap) can also be comfortable in our own skin!
Here are some of the responses:
Love this clip, any one that puts themselves forward to talk and advertise their own stuttering, as Americans call it, deserves applause in my eyes, whether they are celebs or ordinary folk. In fact celebs can get criticised and people assume its for their own gains, which is often wrong. The way the media has spun it about being comfortable in his own skin is just advertising, that’s the way I look at it.
Pam- I think you are over thinking this. Remember it is after all an ad campaign. Remember he is being paid to use Dove products, of which there are many besides soap. Is anyone trashing Vice President Biden because he came out of the stuttering closet later in life, as did James Earl Jones? I for one think it’s great that he’s out of that closet. The youths out there love him and he is a wonderful role model, far better than Kobe Bryant, Charles Barkley or the other bad boys of basketball. This man is a gentle giant and I applaud him.
I’m thinking that you would like to see “regular” people cast in the limelight as people who stutter and “overcame” stuttering, correct?
Not sure what the big hooplah is…yes, celebrities endorsing a product is always a bit cheesy, but I think that the ad raises stuttering awareness in a light-hearted and approachable way to a mass audience. I applaud him and I make no claims to know whether or not he uses Dove soap or truly stutters, and find myself truly concerned with neither. I suppose we could raid his shower in a soap detection effort and personal files for formal diagnosis documentation, but why? He’s a relatively positive public figure and he’s not only raising awareness, but also promoting positive self-image and self-acceptance. A bit kitschy? Maybe. But, effective, nonetheless.
I understand the frustration regarding predominantly male PWS role models who are mostly/completely recovered. It’s definitely a sore point–however, since there tend to be more males who stutter than females [to our current knowledge], I suppose I have come to just not fixate on that particular disparity in public portrayals of stuttering. And, yes, it would be desirable and healthy and refreshing to see someone stutter openly–onscreen, on camera, etc. Perhaps, one day we will arrive at that point. For now, I suppose that any progress toward giving stuttering a somewhat positive, vocal, national, viral platform is progress in my book.
I like the fact that he said he was comfortable in his skin, AND he still stutters. It’s Dove’s tag line, but I think it’s a great message for PWS – that we can be comfortable in our skin AND stutter. Being comfortable with our speech is part of being comfortable in our skin. This may be the first time he’s talked about it, and I think it’s a great thing.
The last comment reflects that Shaq says he is comfortable in his own skin and he still stutters. Wouldn’t it have been great if he had stuttered, just once, in this clip?
What do you think?
Oil And Water – Male Episode 7
Posted on: March 11, 2012
Episode 7 of the conversations with men who stutter features Jon Symons, who currently lives in Chaniá, (the island of Crete) Greece. Jon is originally from The UK and worked in the oil drilling industry for over 30 years. His work in oil took him all over the world.
Jon recently inspired me to write a post called “Be Memorable!” Jon points out that stuttering makes us memorable, and that’s a good thing, especially in business. Any time we can be remembered, we can use that to our advantage.
We talk about the pros and cons of stuttering, and how we as stutterers need to be our best advocates.
Listen is as we chat about lessons learned, being fired, advocacy, differences and being bullied for being English! Yep, poor Jon was bullied not for stuttering, but for being a Brit!
We also discuss how our stuttering, and dealing with it, get easier with age. Take heed, young ones!
This was a great conversation filled with candor, wit and lots of laughter. It never ceases to amaze me how much I learn from other peoples’ stories.
Please leave comments for us here, or just let Jon know how much you enjoyed his honesty. Especially about who wears the pants in the family!
Music for this episode is credited to ccMixter.
Grasshopper Says Leap – Episode 82
Posted on: March 1, 2012
Episode 82 features good friend Jamie Rocchio, who hails from Rhode Island. Jamie recently moved to New Jersey and is currently enjoying retired life. Or as she puts it, she is “puttering” around the house and loving every minute of it.
Jamie and I met through the National Stuttering Association (NSA) about 5 years ago and we have become good friends. We stay in phone contact a few times during the year and I went and visited her for a weekend in Rhode Island.
Jamie is an outspoken advocate for stuttering. She was a NSA Chapter leader while living in Rhode Island, and for several years she has helped with first-timer orientation at the annual NSA conferences. Jamie was also a regular guest for a while on another podcast Stuttertalk.
In this episode, Jamie and I have a “catch-up” conversation and talk about how stuttering has impacted Jamie’s life, past and present. We talk about fear, change, being stuck, and most importantly, how we as women take care of ourselves.
I don’t think women in general talk about this enough – we have to take care of self before we can attend to anyone or anything else. Men too, of course, but we women tend to beat ourselves up more, so being gentle and taking care is oh so important.
We also talk about how important it is to be open to change, to listen to the universe, and take those leaps.
Feel free to leave comments for either of us in the comment section. Feedback is a gift!
Introductions
Posted on: February 27, 2012
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I have been involved with Toastmasters for almost six years. I love it! It has changed my life and I tell people that all the time, especially new members and those who may be interested in learning more about Toastmasters.
This year, I have been serving as an Area Governor, which means that I lend guidance and support to several clubs. I have to visit each club a couple of times a year and provide support and feedback as needed to help the members and the club grow.
I visited one of my clubs a few evenings ago and had a great experience. Whenever a Toastmaster leader visits a club, we are always asked to speak a few minutes. I noticed there were newer members and at least one guest. I chose to include in my introduction how much Toastmasters has helped me grow in confidence and courage, especially as a person who stutters.
To my amazement, two other people in the group also stutter. After I spoke, everyone else introduced themselves. One young man, a member for only a month, shared that he could relate with me. He said it was good to hear a Toastmaster leader talk about stuttering, as he also stutters.
And then, the guest at the meeting shared that he too stutters. He is from Copenhagen, Denmark and is here for a semester as an exchange student. He stuttered openly and shared that he too was happy to hear a Toastmaster leader openly acknowledge stuttering. He mentioned he had heard about Toastmasters through the McGuire (speech therapy) program he had taken in Denmark.
After the meeting, this young man said he felt comfortable and planned to join Toastmasters and then transfer his membership when he returned home to Denmark.
This made a great impact on me that night. I wondered if I had not shared about my stuttering in my introduction, would these two young men have shared? Maybe, maybe not. They might have felt no one could understand and might have felt they needed to keep it hidden.
I felt inspired that my choice to share personal information about my stuttering might have inspired those two young men to feel comfortable enough to disclose.
And what are the odds that 3 people who stutter would end up at the same Toastmasters meeting, totally unaware of the coincidence? Something tells me we were supposed to be there that evening to encourage and inspire each other!
What do you think?
Letting You Stutter
Posted on: February 16, 2012
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This was very interesting to me. In a very succinct way, this quick comment by a friend sums up the covert stuttering experience for some people.
A friend asked how my new job was going. I started a new position in mid November, something that is quite different for me and out of my area of expertise. Part of my responsibilities include providing resources and support to 15 adult education teachers.
In an email, my friend commented, “Wow Pam, you are amazing. You have to manage 15 staff and they let you stutter the way that you do. That is very inspirational.”
To me, this spoke volumes about how we hide our true selves, and how we feel about exposing our differences at work and in professional environments.
What do you think?
Make Room For The Stuttering 
What people are saying!