Make Room For The Stuttering

Posts Tagged ‘stuttering support

NSA DCI just returned from the NSA annual conference in Washington DC. This year’s conference had a record number of 975 attendees, one third of whom were first timers.

I met a lot of new people and connected with friends that I really only see once a year.

It was a great experience. I co-facilitated several workshops and attended several that pushed me out of my comfort zone.

The best workshop I was part of was the First Timer’s Orientation. I co-facilitated this with friends Landon and Lott. Over 200 people came to the workshop, where they had the chance to meet and interact with each other. I met some of the people I had called in advance of the conference.

Some of my favorite moments:

16 year old Jeremy came and introduced himself and his parents to me. Jeremy told me that he and his speech therapist have used articles from this blog and some of my YouTube videos in his speech therapy sessions. Jeremy was thrilled to be at his first conference and had set as a goal for himself to speak at an Open Mic session. He came and told me about it afterward and said it was a success and that he felt great.

Rehan, who I corresponded with pre-conference, came up to me and said he was glad I had been so honest in my introduction during the workshop by saying that it can be overwhelming and scary to introduce yourself to strangers. He acknowledged that he was feeling nervous about doing that, as he has never introduced himself to so many people.  After the conference, he told me he had met many people and was grateful for the opportunity to stay in touch during the year. He also said in an email:

As per my thoughts … well, wow. It was way beyond my expectations. I didn’t really know what to think going in to it, but when I got there and [tried] to introduce myself only to have people patiently wait for my name, I knew I was in the right place. I was definitely apprehensive about continuing to go up to people and introduce myself, but everybody was just so friendly about it! I stuttered, they stuttered, and it was fine!

Natalie came up to me one of the first evenings and introduced herself to me. We had talked on the phone before the conference and she recognized me from some YouTube videos.  Natalie had traveled to the conference alone from Maine and was nervous about what to expect. Here is an excerpt from an email Natalie sent me the day after the conference:

Pam, you are a lovely person and I want to thank-you for all that you did for me at the conference.  You may not think it was much, but simply being kind, talking to me when I first got there, inviting me out with you and others, calling me before the conference and just being around really made me feel at ease.  You are an asset to the stuttering community.

I also met Rohan, who was one of our keynote speakers. I had the opportunity to speak to him before the conference as well, so it was pretty cool to meet up and talk a bit during the conference and then hear his amazing speech about “making things happen” and “no excuses.”

There were so many other amazing moments, but these are an example of how little moments can easily add up to a really big deal.

 

 

 

 

PamEpisode 118 features Natalie, who hails from London, England and currently is based in Bristol, England. Natalie is a beauty therapist and absolutely loves her job. She enjoys helping women look and feel good about themselves and looking the part herself.

Listen in as Natalie talks about the challenges and opportunities of a service profession that requires constant communication.

We talk at length about The McGuire Program, which has helped Natalie become a competent and confident communicator. She aspires to one day be a coach and course instructor for the program.

Natalie is an upbeat, social and bubbly young woman who doesn’t let stuttering stand in her way. It was a delight to chat and get to know her.

Feel free to leave comments below, for feedback is a gift. The podcast safe music used in this episode is credited to ccMixter.

 

Pam

Episode 117 features Jamila Damani who hails from Brighton, England. Jamila is a second year university student studying anthropology and international development. She hopes to work with a women’s organization one day, in education or mental health.

Jamila shares that she started stuttering at around age 11 or 12. She held back a lot and felt insignificant as a person growing up.

Listen in as we talk about early speech therapy experiences and finding The McGuire Program. Initially, Jamila shares she was skeptical of the McGuire program. That all changes when she attends an International Women’s Day event and meets an inspiring panelist. Jamila loves to tell the story of how she never knew someone so confident could have a stutter.

Jamila went on to do a McGuire course before starting university and has found her confident and eloquent voice. She hopes to one day be a panelist at an International Women’s Day event and be a role model for others. I think she already is one, wouldn’t you say?

Feel free to leave comments or ask questions in the comment section below. Feedback is a gift.

The music used in today’s episode is credited to ccMixter.

 

Check out this great article (by Susan Scutti) that appeared yesterday in Medical Daily, titled “The Truth About Stutterers: Can Everyone Who Stammers Overcome The Condition?” I’m quoted toward the end of the article!!

What afflicts four times as many males as females while affecting roughly three million Americans overall? Stuttering. Among the five percent of children who stammer for six months or more during early childhood, the majority naturally outgrow this communication disorder while others continue to struggle with this problem long term. A person is considered a stutterer when their fluency or flow of speech is broken by repetition (ma-ma-ma-maybe), prolongations (ffffor real), or unusual stops in the middle of a phrase or sentence when no sound is produced at all. In the struggle to communicate, some people may make odd faces or move their bodies in a strange way.

Experts believe genetics may contribute to the condition since nearly 60 percent of those who stammer have a family member who does as well. Children with a developmental delay or some other kind of language learning problem are also more likely to stutter. Other more subtle issues may also contribute to the development of this communication disorder. Recent neurological research, for instance, has revealed that the brains of people who stutter may be wired slightly differently and for this reason they may have trouble planning speech. Some believe that family dynamics may impact a child’s ability to communicate fluently yet, according to the Stuttering Foundation, those who stutter are no more likely to have psychological or emotional problems than those who do not. One recent study found that stuttering preschoolers did not have innately different temperaments than those who did not stutter. Emotional trauma, then, should not be considered a root cause of stuttering.

According to speech experts, the best prevention is early intervention yet as the story of the English king, George VI, which was dramatized in the movie, The King’s Speech, even late treatment can be a life-changer — the king was in his 40s when he met the famous speech therapist, Lionel Logue.

A beautiful story well-worth repeating is that of the voice of Darth Vader, otherwise known as James Earl Jones. Few people know that Jones was once a stutterer and from early childhood through high school, he found it difficult to speak. Yet he calls one man, the poet Donald Crouch, “the father of my voice.” A former college Professor and contemporary of Robert Frost who retired to a farm near the Michigan town where Jones lived, he discovered there was a need for educators in the area so he decided to teach at the nearby agricultural high school.

Within his classes, Jones often remained as silent as possible until the day Crouch discovered his student liked to write poems. “One day I showed him a poem I had written,” Jones wrote in an article about his teacher, “and he responded to it by saying that it was too good to be my own work, that I must have copied it from someone.” To prove his authorship, Jones recited the poem in front of the entire class and somehow made it through to the end without forgetting a word … and also without stuttering. With Croach’s help, Jones continued to practice speaking aloud and over time his confidence grew.

Jones’ story makes clear not only that a later intervention worked well but also that stutterers often overcome their speech issue through unusual means. It has often been claimed that no one stutters while they’re singing, as Carly Simon and B.B. King, both stammerers, certainly prove.  Meanwhile some actors, including Bruce Willis and Emily Blunt, claim that adopting a foreign accent or another persona is what helped them past their communication difficulties.

Just because some people, famous or not, have improved their abilities, is learning how not to stutter truly within everyone’s reach?  Unfortunately, not. A review of more than 100 studies on adults concluded that 60 to 80 percent of all cases show significant improvement as a result of treatment. “My only regret on my long journey is that I courted that fickle mistress called fluency for too long instead of simply searching for a voice with which I was comfortable,” wrote Vince Vawter, 67, a lifelong stutterer and writer. Acceptance, rather than change, is key for many.  “To be honest, there is still a small part of me that has not accepted my stutter – that is trying to fight the stutter,” wrote Dhruv Gupta. “And if I stutter at all today, it is because of that part.”

“Dealing with our stuttering, managing it and eventually thriving in spite of it, necessitates speaking about it openly and honestly,” wrote Hanan Hurwitz, who learned that encouragement from others mattered more than figuring out which treatment worked best. “In a world that still largely does not understand stuttering or the experience of the person who stutters, the safe environment of a support group is a lifeline.”

Although support was key to others, they found it lacking in the ready-made groups. “I felt uncomfortable when I attended stuttering support groups where I was the only woman, or one of only two women in a group dominated by men,” wrote Pamela Mertz for the International Stuttering Awareness website.  “I often felt that the men were focusing on finding fluency, or trying techniques, or looking for a solution, where I was more interested in talking about how I felt. Talking about how it felt to feel less attractive, talking about how my self-esteem had been affected, talking about my confidence being eroded, talking about how it felt to try and hide my stuttering for so long and slowly coming to terms that trying to hide it wasn’t working anymore.” In search of a women-only group, Mertz went on to host a podcast catering to women wanting to share their stories.

For more real life people discussing this problem, watch the YouTube video below:

 

Pam

Episode 107 features Rachel Martinez, who hails from Albuquerque, NM. Rachel just recently moved to Los Angeles, CA in order to pursue her dream of becoming a professional dancer.

Rachel introduces herself as “I’m a person who stutters, but that’s definitely OK.”

Rachel is a self-taught dancer and dreams of dancing for her career. She explains that when she dances, she doesn’t stutter, and wants to be known for her dancing, not her stuttering. She feels a freedom of expression when dancing.

Listen in as we discuss meeting at the National Stuttering Association annual conference – Rachel’s first one – meeting other people who stutter and support group meetings. We also talk about fear, and revealing your true self under all that stuttering.

The podcast safe music clip used in this episode is credited to ccMixter.

Feel free to leave comments or just let Rachel know what a great job she did. Remember, feedback is a gift.

Pam

Episode 105 features Erin, who hails from Washington, DC, via San Fransisco, CA. Erin has an undergrad degree in history and her master’s degree in Library Information Studies. She works in the history field, doing archival work.

Erin enjoys her dog, Eleanor Roosevelt and is an ocean person. She loves to surf.

Listen in as we discuss experiences we both had in London, mine for a brief one week, Erin’s when she studied abroad for college.

We discuss covert stuttering, speech therapy experiences, career choices and not settling.

We also discuss the value of hanging out with people who happen to stutter, but not necessarily talking about stuttering.

I unfairly did more of the talking in this episode, which will be cause to invite Erin back as a guest in the future, where I’ll shut up and let her talk. For she has a lot to say. Check out her blog Not Just Stuttering.

Feel free to leave comments or just let us know what you thought of the episode or what a great job Erin did. Remember, feedback is a gift.

The podcast safe music used in this episode is credited to DanoSongs.

Pam

Episode 101 features three women who stutter who have all recently made their acting debuts. All three women live in New Jersey.

Katherine Filer is a long time computer consultant and recent life coach, Lucy Reed is a school based speech and language pathologist and Sue Camlin is a retired public school teacher who is involved in numerous community service activities.

All three ladies can also add “actress” to their resumes.

Listen in as the ladies discuss how this opportunity to be in a one-act play evolved, how it has impacted their lives and the importance of taking on brave things.

We talk about stuttering during rehearsals and the actual performance, the fear of forgetting lines and the joy of making a difference. The ladies plan to present their theatrical journey at a workshop for the 2013 National Stuttering Association conference, as well as take many next steps to further the journey.

What a great story! Feel free to leave comments or ask questions for any of the ladies in the comment section. Remember, feedback is a gift.

Below is a clip of the news coverage the ladies got on February 27, 2013.

The podcast safe music used in this episode is credited to ccMixter.

Episode 19 features John Harrison, who “ran away from home at age 25.” He went from New York to California with nothing but a 5 day hotel reservation.

John wanted to go to California to find himself and his identity, and understand his stuttering, which took the form of silent blocks.

Listen in as we discuss how John found the National Stuttering Project (now the National Stuttering Association) and his involvment in the self help community over the years.

We also talk about how John came to see his stuttering as a system, which he details in his book “Redefining Stuttering: What The Struggle To Speak Is Really All About.” This is available as a free download on his website, HOLDING BACK: for people who stutter.

We also chat about Toastmasters, helping others and the richness of sharing our stories with each other.

Music used in this episode is credited to Dano Songs. Feel free to leave comments or ask questions. Feedback is a gift.

Episode 94 is a special “monologue” version, where it’s just me, without a guest. Today, on International Stuttering Awareness Day, I offer my thoughts on a question I have pondered.

Are we, as a stuttering community, better off than we were before we had so many support and self-help resources available?

We can answer that two ways. From an individual perspective and from a larger perspective. I’m interested in knowing if you think the world, our little corner, is more knowledgeable about stuttering since there has been an increase in stuttering awareness over, say, the last 5 years.

Or are our awareness efforts only benefiting the stuttering community?

What do you think? I’m really interested in hearing your thoughts.

The music clip used in this episode is credited to ccMixter, where podcast safe, creative commons music can be found and freely used.

Episode 93 features Barbara Dahm, a Board Recognized Specialist in Fluency Disorders, who alternates between New Jersey and Israel. She has been a speech clinician for 40+ years.

Barbara talks about a 17-year old girl she worked with early in her career who had a severe stutter. She talks about trying to find the answer to help people who stutter.

Her present work is rooted in Gestalt therapy. Barbara believes that neurological function and habits cannot be separated from how the mind works. She also thinks that feelings, thoughts and behaviors are all linked together. Traditional therapies seem to overlook that stuttering is a systems problem.

We discuss Barbara’s belief that stuttering is “over control.”  She works with people on thinking about speech as automatic and as a natural process. She helps people to try not to be fluent. But the result IS fluency.

“It’s not just that I’m not stuttering, it’s a different experience.” Barbara wants to help people “quiet the editor” in their brains.

This was a great conversation. For more information on Barbara’s work, please see her website, Stuttering Online Therapy. Barbara would love for people to study, research and critique her program.

Feel free to leave comments or questions for Barbara. Feedback is a gift. Music used in this episode is credited to ccMixter.

Episode 16 features Geoff Johnston, who hails from Strathalbyn, South Australia. Geoff is presently the Regional Director for the McGuire program.

“There is so much more to stuttering than speech.” Geoff talks about how fears, anxieties and self-limiting beliefs are well addressed in the McGuire program and how satisfying it is to see people’s lives change. You can watch Geoff in action in this video.

Listen in as we chat about self-esteem, confidence, voluntary stuttering,  relapse, social anxiety and embracing speaking situations.

We also talk about having a “compelling reason to change” and the bravery and effort needed to maintain change.

Feel free to leave comments or questions for Geoff (or for me!) in the comment section.

The podcast safe music used in this episode is credited to ccMixter.

Why am I writing about the senseless movie theater shootings that happened last week in Aurora, Colorado? Because I was in Aurora that night. I was at a conference for young people who stutter and their families. The locale was Denver, but our conference hotel was in Aurora.

Each year, Friends: The National Association of Young People Who Stutter holds an annual conference in a different major city. I have been fortunate to be part of this “extended family” since 2008, this year being my 5th conference.

I am not exaggerating when I use the word family. Friends was founded 15 years ago by a mom of a kid who stutters who wanted a support organization that was specific to the needs and goals of young people and their families who live with stuttering.

The attendees of that first conference are all grown up now, and still attend every year. They have grown up together, and each year welcomed new kids and parents to the family. People who know each other for 10 or 15 years and watch their kids grow up together are indeed family.

So it was not unusual for a group of  these kids, ages 14-22, to have planned in advance to go to the midnight premiere of the Batman movie in Aurora. The older brother of a young woman who stutters was with the group and had organized transportation.

No one could have expected that this small group of kids who stutter would have been affected by senseless tragedy. But they were indeed. Our Friends kids were in the next theater when a young man opened fire in the theater next door.

Bullets came through the wall, hitting one of our teens in the arm. At first, he didn’t realize he’d been hit.

In fact, many of the kids didn’t realize what was happening, as the loud “pops” of gunfire were at first thought part of the movie. But as smoke and screams filled the air, the Friends teens indeed knew they were in trouble. Their survival instincts, and love for each other, took over and they all calmly and quickly got out of that theater.

Accounts from the kids, who are survivors, and their parents can be found here (Gage and his parents) and here (Linnea and Melia and their mom’s account.)

I wasn’t at the theater. None of the adults who stutter or parents in our group were. I can’t provide an eye-witness account. So why am I writing about this?

I am reflecting on what can be learned from horrific random acts of violence. Because there are lessons learned.

When the calls and texts started coming in from the kids at the theater to the parents at the hotel, everybody acted together as family. Parents made sure that the parents of the kid who was shot got transported to the hospital. Parents made sure that the 14-year old brother who’d been at the theater was cared for all night and the next day. That call that is every parent’s worst nightmare was a little easier because so many other parents were there for support.

As the other kids returned to the hotel, shaken and emotional, the hotel staff were wonderful. They brought blankets, pillows, snacks and drinks, so the kids could stay together as a group in the lobby all night and process what they had experienced together.

In the morning, as news spread among the conference attendees, people wondered what would happen. Would the conference proceed? Would activities still happen?

The answers were YES and YES!  Normalcy needed to prevail. The group needed to come together in workshops and sessions and experience the love and support that is unique to FRIENDS. When 300 people who share stuttering and the impact of “too close to home” tragedy, the natural instinct is to continue on and share the love and support of family.

That is what I am writing about here – the healing nature of support and family. The kids who were in the theater helped each other by being together all weekend. The parents and families and adults who stutter helped each other by sharing and talking, hugging and crying together, all weekend.

The only change to the conference agenda was the addition of group counseling sessions late Friday morning that were made available to anyone in need. Teens, parents and friends of the kids affected took advantage.

It seems cliché to talk about how senseless tragedy brings people together, closer, or helps us see what good can result from a major tragedy. So I won’t say that.

The FRIENDS friends were already a supportive close-knit family. The power of family and unconditional love and support helped our FRIENDS family process the magnitude of these tragic events and keep talking and holding tight to each other.

And that is the power of support.

Episode 88 features Anna Deeter, a speech educator who hails from Russia (former Soviet Union) and presently lives in Temecula, California.

Anna has participated in several online stuttering groups and shared her strong beliefs about a unique stuttering program.

She has been mentored and taught by Russian professor, Roman Snezhko, who believes that stuttering can be eliminated through the intensive “relearning” of “normal speech” (similar to NLP, which we mention briefly.)

In the spirit of being open to different ideas, I was curious about Anna’s approach and invited her to tell her story. It is easy to misinterpret written messages on social media. Listening, asking questions and engaging sheds more light on where a person is coming from.

Listen in as we discuss a very different approach to managing stuttering, that might be tough for people to understand. For more information, please visit the website Live Stutter Free. If interested, you can also see some video of several people who have participated in the speech class called ETALON.

Feel free to leave questions or comments for Anna in the comment section below. The podcast safe music used in this episode is credited to DanoSongs.


About a month ago, I attended a meeting of a new stuttering support group. A SLP friend, who also stutters, wanted some of the people he has been working with to see the power of support.

Steve asked me to come to the first meeting, to meet some people and to share. I felt a little awkward going, as I most likely won’t be able to attend again, as the schedule doesn’t work for me.

I shared parts of my story with the group and answered some questions.

At one point in the conversation, Steve asked me how I had reached the point where I am comfortable advertising and stuttering freely at work.

In my answer, I mentioned that sometimes it bothers me when people tell me, “Oh, you are such an inspiration.”  I feel embarrassed by that, and even a bit annoyed. Sometimes, I don’t want to be singled out like that and told that I am inspiring.

To me, I am doing exactly what everyone else is doing – talking. I don’t want a big deal made out of what everyone does everyday.

I was quite surprised when one woman, Francis, who had previously said very little, said, “Excuse me, but what if you are? Who are you to determine that? To people who stutter, you are an inspiration. You can’t control how people think of you.”

That was a moment! She was looking a little teary eyed as she said it. I didn’t know what to say, so I just said thank you. And she smiled and said, “I wish I could be as confident as you.”

There was another SLP in the group and she commented that she also agreed with Francis. She too said she thought I was inspiring for people who stutter.

I have thought about that exchange for a couple of weeks. It reminds me of a similar comment another friend shared with me some time ago. Lisa mentioned that she hates it when anyone calls her inspiring for just doing what she has to do and living life.

Interesting food for thought. What do you think? Has anyone ever referred to you as inspirational when you don’t feel you are?

Episode 10 of the conversations with men who stutter features Landon Murray, who hails from New Orleans, LA. Landon is in school studying process engineering. He has also been the leader for the New Orleans chapter of the National Stuttering Association for the last two years.

Landon shares the story of how his fiance got him to go to his first stuttering support meeting and how that first meeting changed his life. He also talks about how he and she met!

We talk about confidence and self-image. Landon didn’t always have such an easy time, and shares how tough it was for him when he was younger. He also shares how he would sometimes “change himself” in order to fit in. And he shares about the “tons” of fights he’s had due to stuttering.

Listen in as we chat about dealing with being made fun of, educating others about stuttering, being comfortable in your own skin and acceptance.

Feel free to leave feedback in the comment section, or just let Landon know what a great job he did.

Credit for the music used in this episode goes to ccMixter.

(Producer note: There was background noise/echo in this track that I could not edit. However, the conversation with Landon was so great that I dropped my usual standards of perfection. As I’ve said in the past, sue me!)


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© Pamela A Mertz and Make Room For The Stuttering, 2009 - 2025. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Pamela A Mertz and Make Room For The Stuttering with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. Same protection applies to the podcasts linked to this blog, "Women Who Stutter: Our Stories" and "He Stutters: She Asks Him." Please give credit to owner/author Pamela A Mertz 2025.
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