Posts Tagged ‘talking about stuttering’
My Brother’s Question
Posted on: August 28, 2010
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I have written a few times that I really only comfortably discuss stuttering with one sibling regularly. Most of my family doesn’t like talking about it, even though I do. Kim and I talk about stuttering often. She works as a nurse and feels my openness about my stuttering has helped her be more patient with some of her patients.
I did talk about stuttering twice with another sister, who was willing to do an audio conversation with me once. But that’s it. With most of my family, it’s the same taboo it pretty much always was. Unless I bring it up.
So I was surprised when my brother called me last night. He needed a favor and also wanted some advice about stuttering for a co-worker.
A new employee works in the warehouse and in my brother’s words, has a “wicked stutter”. He wanted to know if I had any brochures or literature on anything that has helped me that he could leave “subliminally” around. I said sure, I could give him stuff or send him some links with resources.
I had to laugh when I got off the phone with my brother. His use of the word “subliminally” tickled me. I can just see this poor guy who stutters, minding his own business in the warehouse, and suddenly he stumbles on some information about stuttering. Which would be really out-of-place in the warehouse environment.
I was glad my brother felt comfortable enough asking me about this. He never has initiated conversation about stuttering with me. But I also had a few other thoughts.
It made me wonder, how will this guy feel? Will he be embarrassed? Will he think colleagues are embarrassed by his stutter, that’s why someone left stuttering information lying around? Or will he be happy to come across something that might help him? Will he be grateful that it was done anonymously? Will he take the information or ignore it?
It made me wonder, how would I feel? What about you? Would you be OK if you found something on stuttering suddenly and randomly in your workplace?
Stuttering Well – Episode 21
Posted on: August 26, 2010
Episode 21 features Stephie Hirsh, M.A. CCC-SLP, who hails from Highland Park, Illinois. Stephie had been teaching 4th and 5th grades before deciding to return to graduate school to pursue a career as a SLP. She chose to pursue speech language pathology after being inspired by the FRIENDS organization.
Stephie’s story is really one about “paying it forward”. She shares how profoundly impacted she was by meeting therapist Kristin Chmela when Stephie was just 16. Meeting Kristin was the first time Stephie had ever met another woman who stuttered. She was struck by how strong and confident and successful Ms. Chmela was and by how important it was/is to have strong women as role models in our lives.
I first met Stephie last year at Friends 2009 in Tampa, Florida. We only briefly talked then, but I was impressed with Stephie’s confidence being a woman who stutters and a SLP. I got to talk with her more this year at Friends 2010 in Chicago. I wanted to find out more about what makes her so passionate about working with kids and teens who stutter.
Listen in as Stephie shares her story of finding her voice and wanting to help others do the same. Stephie also talks about what it was like going to her first self-help conference at 18, and meeting so many guys who stuttered. We also discuss acceptance and how important it is to find and embrace good therapy.
Stephie founded The Center for Communication & Fluency Therapy and has also been actively involved with Camp Speak Up, which is a stuttering camp for children and adolescents. She is a member of ASHA’s fluency special interest division (4), and the National Stuttering Association (NSA), as well as FRIENDS.
Credit for the clip “Echoed” goes to ccmixter, which provides podcast safe music under the creative commons license.
Feel free to leave comments or feedback for Stephie, and for Pam as well if you like!
Episode 20 features Cheryl, who hails from the Bay area of California. Cheryl is a recent college graduate with a degree in psychology and a minor in creative writing. She is presently unsure of her career path, but knows that someday she wants to write.
She envisions writing fiction, either novels or short stories. She also is considering speech pathology with a special interest in research of brain pathways of people who stutter. What a great combination, huh? Creative writing, brain research and psychology.
I first met Cheryl on the email group, Stuttering Chat. We learned that we had both attended the same NSA conferences, but just had not met in person. We eventually connected on Face book and Skype and began actually chatting instead of just virtually chatting.
Not surprisingly, Cheryl is a lover of books and calls herself a bookworm. She also enjoys travel, with a special penchant for Paris. She studied abroad in Paris for four months, falling in love with the city of enlightenment. (thanks to B for gently correcting me!)
Listen is as we chat about school experiences, social skills development and how stuttering influences self-esteem. Cheryl also shares her therapy experiences and how it feels to “relapse” after experiencing fluency.
Feel free to comment or leave feedback for either of us.
Music used in this episode is podcast safe music from CCmixter. The title of the clip is “Scott waves to April’s salty Grace”. (I love this title!)
Episode 12 welcomes Victoria Benson Schutter, from Houston, Texas. Vicki is a long time NSA member,and in fact, was with the organization when it was still known as the NSP, National Stuttering Project.
Vicki works at Rice University in Houston, and is a NSA chapter leader, chairing meetings from her home. This week, Vicki will be attending her 25th consecutive NSA conference. Vicki was the 2009 NSA Member of the Year. She has also been actively involved with community theater for over 35 years.
This episode really drives home the power of women sharing their stories. Vicki shares several stories, illustrating the importance of having a good sense of humor and not taking self or others too seriously. This is an especially helpful episode for young people.
Fun Fact: Vicki tells us about how she came to marry her husband, who happens to have a last name that rhymes with stutter.
Listen in to an engaging, funny and inspirational conversation. Feel free to leave comments or ask questions.
Musical credit for “Today Then Tomorrow” goes to Dano Songs.
Getting A Handle on Stuttering
Posted on: June 29, 2010
Somebody asked me yesterday for advice to help somebody get a handle on his or her stuttering. I took that to mean whats the best way to work towards acceptance.
I was flattered to be asked. I am not a speech professional and I am only four years into my own journey with stuttering acceptance.
I found myself emailing off a response right away, with no hesitation. I suggested that a person who stutters should be encouraged to talk about stuttering when ever possible, to whoever will listen. Ask the stutterer questions about her stuttering, things like, “how do you stutter? What does it feel like? What kind of emotions come up with stuttering?”
The more a person talks about stuttering, the more comfortable he or she will feel. It is the basic premise of desensitization. The person should also be encouraged to advertise that they stutter, as much as possible.
It may feel awkward at first. If you are like me, someone who had been covert for a long time, it will indeed feel awkward. And weird. And scary. I hated it when I first tried doing it – I felt more self-conscious advertising I stutter than actually stuttering.
Encourage the person to advertise or disclose in baby steps – maybe to one person or in one situation a day. Each time it is done, it gets easier. The easier it gets talking about stuttering, the less anxious she will feel about stuttering. Less anxiety about stuttering may then translate into easier, more relaxed stuttering.
As I wrote this email out, offering my advice as a person who stutters to someone looking for a way to help someone else to accept stuttering, I realized why I was able to respond so fast. Because it is exactly how I have become more comfortable with my own stuttering in the last four years. I talk about it whenever I can, to both help myself and raise awareness for others.
Oh, and if you can’t tell, I also write about stuttering too. A lot. It helps. Thanks Ruth, for the inspiration to write about this today.
All Your Worst Fears – Episode 10
Posted on: June 25, 2010
Episode 10 (already!) features Christine from London, England. I met Christine when I visited the UK several months ago and attended a British Stammering Association -BSA-meeting. It was a great opportunity for me to meet women from another country who understand the stuttering journey. They were just like me!
We have kept in touch through email and Face book, and most certainly will chat again soon.
Christine has an active interest in the woman’s stuttering experience and was instrumental in getting a telephone support group for women up and running in the UK. She also has supported and attended social gatherings for persons who stammer in the London area.
Christine and I chat about career paths and acceptance. We also dive into a very honest, very powerful discussion of how stutterers feel when hearing other stutterers, perhaps more severe. We both agree that this is a topic – feelings – not talked about often enough.
It raises a very real point. How can we talk about our feelings to people who don’t stutter if we are not willing to dive into the tougher stuff with each other?
Listen in! Please feel free to leave comments or questions for Christine, and applaud her for being vulnerable with us. Thanks Christine!
Musical credit for the clip “Today Then Tomorrow” goes to Dano Songs.
Life Gets In The Way – Episode 7
Posted on: June 8, 2010
Episode 7 features Lesley Kodom-Baah, who hails from London. I first met Lesley on the covert list-serv,where she posted a lot of questions and shared her stuttering experience.
Soon enough, Lesley and I began following each other on Face book and Twitter. One social media account is never enough!
Lesley is a college student, majoring in Sociology. She shares what being young and in college with a stutter is like for her. Stuttering is like a taboo in England, so Lesley largely lived her life as a covert. We talk about that as well. She was eager to talk with someone about admitting and being a covert.
Lesley reveals some powerful insights in this episode. She discusses having felt locked in a prison,and the contrasting feelings she now has of being liberated. We discuss fears of not being liked or loved,and how stuttering makes you humble. Lesley also freely discusses her family life and her goals for the future.
Lesley attributes a major change in her life to having listened to other stutterers on the podcast Stuttertalk.
Musical credit for the song “Today Then Tomorrow” goes to Dano Songs.
Feel free to leave comments or feedback. The discussions are always great.
Doing It Anyway
Posted on: June 4, 2010
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I got through the awards ceremony at school on Wednesday night, as I knew I would. It went well, considering the people element and human nature. What do I mean?
I had instructed the students who were to participate in the induction ceremony to arrive by 4:15, so we could rehearse. I figured most would arrive by 4:30. When 5 of the 15 were a half-hour late, I had to kick in with Plan B. Re-assign some of the student roles.
This would be our only rehearsal, as the students were coming from three different programs with different schedules. By show time, the last two eased in and took their seats. I asked the students to fill-in the late comers.
I went up on stage to the podium, took a deep breath, smiled and opened the proceedings. As soon as I began speaking the scripted lines, I noticed I was stuttering more than usual. My heart was beating a little faster, but I just kept breathing and moved forward. I stuttered on the first sound of many of the scripted words, which I could not substitute, and had some stuttered moments during multisyllabic words.
The candle lighting ceremony went well, considering we only had 5 minutes practice. Only one student fumbled with the switch on the fake candles. (Not allowed to use flames in a public building).
As I called the names of each student to come and get their certificates, I stuttered on most of the names. I could see out of the corner of my eye one student begin to rise and then sit again until I had finished his whole name.
Towards the end, after three students had each read a piece on courage, achievement and not limiting themselves (which I had thoughtfully selected and conned them into doing), I decided to be bold and make a comment about my stuttering. I started by saying that it takes courage to come up on stage and speak to a large audience.
And that I was proud of the student’s courage. And that I was showing courage myself, by not allowing stuttering to hold me back from what I needed to do.
After the ceremony, our Assistant Superintendent came up to me and congratulated me on a job well done. He commented, “you were pretty nervous, huh?” I said “no, I was just stuttering.” He looked surprised and said he never noticed that I stutter.
Then he asked a couple of questions, like had I done any work on my speech. And then he commented, “Oh, now that we are talking about it, I pick it up”. I think my face flushed at that. He concluded with telling me that he was glad that I do not let stuttering holding me back.
The following morning he sent me this note via email: “Just a quick note to again say ‘Fantastic Job’ last evening. I was very impressed with your advance preparation and presentation throughout the Induction Ceremony. We are lucky to have you working here! ”
The school psychologist came to me as well and said that she was impressed how I chose to mention my stuttering and tie it into the student’s theme of courage. She said it made a lot of sense to be upfront, put it out there and not leave anyone wondering.
This was the first time I had occasion to mention stuttering with these two people. It made me feel good!
With risk comes growth, right? And more and more acceptance.
It’s OK To Stutter – Episode 6
Posted on: June 2, 2010
Episode 6 welcomes Gloria Klumb from Madison, Wisconsin. Gloria is a NSA and Face book friend. She is leader of the Madison NSA Chapter.
She often reads my posts on this blog and takes the time to comment. So it was a no-brainer that she and I would eventually chat and put our great minds together.
We talk about different things. Her friend Bernie pestered her for a year to attend her first NSA conference. That conference was so life-changing that Gloria wound up moving from one city to another in Wisconsin so that she could be close to a NSA group, and then wound up being chapter leader. Another friend Bob “conned” her into eventually co-leading a stuttering workshop.
Gloria also tells about why she couldn’t tell her own children where she went or why when she attended NSA events. And she talks about her “freedom trail”, work and even Botox.
These conversations with women are turning into exactly what I had hoped for. We don’t need “famous” people to inspire us with their stuttering stories. Ordinary people lead amazing lives every single day, and it is important to listen to these stories. Gloria’s “tell” is wonderful!
Musical credit for the intro and out-tro of the song “I’m Gonna Go” goes to Dano Songs.
Feel free to leave comments and feedback for Gloria. (And me too!)
New Book – Hooray For Aiden
Posted on: May 27, 2010
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A new friend to the stuttering community has self-published her very first book. Karen Hollett has written Hooray For Aiden, a story book for children ages 4-9.
It is a touching story of self-discovery as young Aiden moves to a new town and worries about how her second-grade classmates will react to her stuttering.
At first, Aiden tries to hide her stutter from her classmates, which makes her sad. She has a caring teacher who helps her learn that it is OK to stutter and OK to be herself.
Karen is a person who stutters herself and knows first hand how challenging it can be for a young person in school dealing with any kind of difference. Karen sought advice and guidance from members of the stuttering community to make sure the book would help children, and parents and everyone else, get the message that stuttering doesn’t have to hold you back.
Hooray For Aiden has received positive reviews from professionals in the stuttering community and is sure to be a wonderful resource for kids who stutter. See some of the reviews here!
I am looking forward to hearing more about Karen’s journey with her stuttering. She will join me on an upcoming episode of the podcast “Women Who Stutter: Our Stories” . She will, of course, tell her story.
For more information about Karen and to buy the book, visit Hooray Publishing. Looks like Karen’s on to something.
Congratulations, Karen!
Episode 4 features my friend Lori Melnitsky, who is a Speech Language Pathologist (SLP) and a woman who stutters. Lori and I first met at a National Stuttering Association annual conference two years ago. She is a co-leader for the Long Island NSA Chapter. We have kept up with each other by phone and email.
Lori has her own private practice, All Island Speech & Stuttering Therapy. She also maintains a blog, which can be accessed directly from her web page. Her blog details her personal journey with stuttering and provides updates for people she works with and anyone who may be interested in therapy.
In this episode, Lori talks about how she overcame severe stuttering, and how that motivated her to want to help people who stutter. We also share our opinions on fluency therapies, how tough it is sometimes to accept compliments,and how important it is for women to communicate and share with one another.
Musical credit for the intro “I’m Gonna Go” goes to “Free Royalty Free Music” by Dano Songs.
Please feel free to leave comments. We welcome your feedback.
NPR Radio Interview
Posted on: May 11, 2010
My live interview today on NPR radio went well. I was happy with the flow of our conversation. Round Table host Joe Donahue does a great job of making guests feel comfortable in the studio. It helped that I have been on the program before, so I was familiar with the set-up, how to use the microphone, how far away to sit.
The producer had me send some talking points, but Joe basically crafted the interview so it was a good back and forth flow between the two of us.
I was very happy that our local radio station, WAMC, and NPR welcomed me on to the show to discuss stuttering. Take a listen. I would love your feedback!
National Stuttering Awareness Week
Posted on: May 9, 2010
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This week is National Stuttering Awareness Week in the United States, specifically from May 10 – May 16, 2010. (It was proclaimed as such in 1988 by President Ronald Reagan). May also happens to be Better Speech and Hearing Month. So this is our week to talk about stuttering, raise awareness and educate others who may not understand the stuttering experience.
For the last three years, I have tried to do something “public” to help spread the word about stuttering. In 2007, I was a guest on my local area’s NPR station during this week to talk about stuttering.
In 2008, I got the chance to appear on a public television station’s health channel to promote stuttering. Later that year, I got to do a similar community television program for our local library. They aired it continually during October, to mark International Stuttering Awareness Day.
In 2009, I wrote an article about stuttering and had it published in the Albany NY daily newspaper, The Times Union. I also had a blurb about stuttering run in the weekly “Check Up On Health” column right before stuttering awareness week.
This year, the features editor for the health column at the Times Union, Jack Leadley, ran my small piece again yesterday to remind people about what stuttering is, some tips for listeners, and links for support and resources.
And I will be a guest again on Albany’s NPR station’s program “The Round Table” with host Joe Donahue on Tuesday May 11, 2010 at 10:35am. Here’s the station and channel information. I am looking forward to coming back on NPR radio, and gratified that they find it important enough to dedicate some air time to stuttering awareness.
I will point to the link when WAMC posts it, probably by the next day.
What will you do to spread the word and raise awareness about stuttering? One of the best things we can do is talk about our stuttering openly and often.
Pilot Episode – The Women’s Podcast
Posted on: May 6, 2010
I am really excited to add an audio section to this blog that I hope will be at least weekly. Good friend Daniele Rossi, creator of the site Stuttering is Cool, encouraged me to start a podcast that would just focus on women who stutter and our stories. There doesn’t appear to be any other podcast devoted specifically to women and our stuttering journeys.
Danny has helped guide me through the basic steps of launching a podcast and adding it to this site. He may not realize it, but he will probably become my podcast mentor. He helped me get some (free) recording software and was patient with me as I worked with my first audio file longer than 10 minutes. I met Danny on Twitter, along with lots of other really amazing people who just happen to stutter.
I pretty much know this will be a work in progress. I hope to get better each week with the logistics of posting audio files. The most important thing is the honest dialogue with women who stutter as we share our stories.
I am pleased to welcome my very first guest, Tamara Nunes Williams. She is a wife, mother, daughter, college student, and care giver to persons with disabilities. And she happens to stutter. She has an amazing story. Please listen to Episode 1.
Make Room For The Stuttering 
What people are saying!