13 Responses to "Interrupting"
May 26, 2010 at 11:15 AM
For me, it is surely a stuttering thing. I am anxious to get everything out that I want to say, before I get too selfconscious and start to stutter more and so I jump in, when the person is in the middle of their statement.
It makes me feel bad, like I am a selfish communicator, who only thinks that only what I have to say is really important and relevant.
May 26, 2010 at 12:31 PM
Yes Pam I do find this happens a lot to me. I also find that when talking to a friend who stutters over the phone, WE BOTH DO IT. So it is not only you. But I think seeing we both stutter we accept it more. Now if a non stutterer would do that we would get annoyed. But we really shouldn’t because a lot of times they have no clue. But it happens and we deal with it.
This would be a good topic for a NSA meeting …thanks Pam 🙂
May 26, 2010 at 3:39 PM
Interviewing isn’t an easy skill to learn — but the great interviewers make it look that way. Same with being interviewed. It’s even harder if you can’t see the body language. You’re doing great.
May 26, 2010 at 4:59 PM
It’s a combination of both – stuttering and interviewing, to be a good interviewer I think you may need to be able to interrupt, most interviewers (fluents) are really really fast talkers.
I myself have worked hard on not getting ‘hung up’ about being interrupted because in all fairness to the listener, it can be very difficult to know when a pws has finished speaking. In Mcguire we are taught to carry on saying what you want to say AFTER being interrupted with a smile on your face and the listener will get the message in the end. Of course in a telephone interview situation , this is very difficult!!!
I think you are doing a fabulous job and to recognise that you are not happy or comfortable with the interview after listening back is very honourable of you Pam but I wouldnt expect anything less. 🙂
keep rocking them out girl !
May 26, 2010 at 9:47 PM
I have learned and am continuing to learn to be a good listener. It think PWS are always thinking a few sentences ahead so we can jump in when we feel comfortable. I think the natural ebb and flow will come. You are really doing a terrific job!
May 31, 2010 at 11:16 AM
Honestly, so far, I have not noticed anything akward regarding interruptions in your interviews. I guess this means that either (1) anyway I’m used to being interrupted myself or (2) you don’t quite interrupt people more than average 😉
More seriously, I think you are having an excellent point in saying that the flow of a discussion between two stutterers is necessarily different form that of a conversation between fluent persons.
In my opinion, this means that we have to sort of invent our own pace of communication, all the time, also because no two stutters are the same. By doing that, I think we always end up being better listeners. And obviously you Pam are already way ahead of us all in that !
May 31, 2010 at 11:44 AM
Thanks Burt, for listening to the episodes, and reading and commenting.
Yes,maybe I am self-conscious, but I feel I have stepped on a couple of the women while they were still talking – or more correctly – still in a stuttering moment.
I am glad you will be a regular listener. I look forward to your feedback.
January 28, 2011 at 1:39 AM
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May 7, 2014 at 12:51 AM
I have the same issues and I just googled and here is an article saying exactly what I was thinking. I also find I think 5 steps ahead of what someone is saying and afraid if I don’t get my point out I will forget it and I think at the time it is the most important thing to say.
August 12, 2016 at 6:53 PM
I am an SLP who works with a student (6th grade) who has recently reported this as his only remaining concern regarding his stuttering. Now that he has eliminated many secondary behaviors, he finds that people do not realize he is blocking, and they will begin to speak before he has finished. I’m considering this an opportunity for him to exercise his self advocacy skills regarding his speech by explaining to the listener that he was stuttering and wasn’t finished talking. Maybe even using a hand gesture like holding up your finger to indicate “what a second” when actually in the block as well? I figure it is another “tool” that he could use at times if it is excessive and he feels frustrated that he is not being heard. Does this sound like a reasonable approach? Over the phone is a different issue, but I’m finding most young people never talk on the phone…they mostly just text. Even ordering pizza is done online rather than over the phone. As a result they never report any concern with talking on the phone.
August 15, 2016 at 11:29 AM
Hi Sharon – thanks for checking in and leaving a great comment and question. I too have had people interrupt me before I’m finished speaking and have found the best way to deal with it is to be upfront and say, lightly, “Hey, I wasn’t finished speaking yet.” And then I proceed to finish. Hopefully your 6th grade student would feel OK with a similar approach. I feel it is so important to teach good self advocacy skills to kids when they are young so they can become ingrained. I also think holding up a finger as a gesture like “wait a sec” is a good idea as well.
I agree that kids hardly ever use the phone anymore – they have texting and messaging to do all that for them these days. But I worry that kids won’t know how to have a phone conversation when they need to – like in an over the phone job interview. Anyway, thanks for the great comment and hopefully I’ll see you again on this blog. ~Pam
February 28, 2017 at 9:59 AM
Thanks so much for this post and the thread. I came here looking for a good strategy to impart to my 7th grade student. I completely agree with the “be upfront” approach and I especially like it combined with the “wait a sec” gesture – it will work well in a classroom environment. I want him to feel empowered by directly communicating his needs; this is a big task for a young person – whether they stutter or not. Thanks for this resource!
Make Room For The Stuttering 
May 26, 2010 at 9:41 AM
In my experience, it’s not just a stuttering thing because I do it too. I’m afraid of the phone sometimes, although I’m working on it, and there are some people with whom, when I’m talking on the phone, I *never* get a good conversational groove going. It goes both ways, both of us talking over each other, awkward pauses, etc.
Active listening is good for everyone, as you say. Some people-combinations just seem to be tougher than others due to divergent conversational styles and expectations.