Posts Tagged ‘stuttering with confidence’
Reading Aloud And Stuttering
Posted on: January 23, 2015
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I had a situation this week that brought back all the bad memories of reading aloud in school. Oh, how I hated to do that. Like many who stutter, I attempted all kinds of strategies to get out of reading aloud, as I always stutter when I can’t switch words and feel the pressure of others listening and watching.
I remember counting ahead to when it would be my turn and frantically trying to read the section and rehearse it in my head before my turn came. Or when there was only two people ahead of me, I would suddenly have to go to the bathroom or get sick and ask to see the school nurse.
I still have a piece of pencil lead in my hand from when I stabbed myself with a pencil so that I could go to the nurse’s office. Just to get out of reading aloud in class and feeling humiliated.
I sit on the Board of a non-profit literacy organization. We had our board meeting this week. The Director wants to introduce sharing the profiles of some of the individuals we serve at every meeting.
She had a list of about six paragraphs, each describing the profile of an individual on the waiting list to get literacy tutoring services. She thought we should share the wealth and each of us read one of the profiles aloud.
My mind went right to panic mode. My first instinct was to somehow figure out a way to opt out. I did not want to stutter in front of my fellow board members. I was new, so several of them did not know that I stutter. I didn’t want them to find out about my stuttering when I’m at my best with it.
After a quick moment of pondering how I would explain that I didn’t want to read aloud – sore throat, laryngitis – I realized that it would be worse for me to opt out. I just needed to do it like everyone else and be as smooth and confident as possible.
So, that’s what I did. When it was my turn, I read my paragraph and stuttered on about every other word. During the stuttering moments, I felt my face flush and felt embarrassed. But it was over quickly and we moved on to the next item of business on the agenda.
No one reacted. I didn’t sink into the floor or get hit by lightening. The worst that happened is that now everyone there knows I stutter. It’s out there now, so I won’t have to worry about it anymore.
How do you react when something like this happens?
Her Personal Best – Episode 127
Posted on: August 29, 2014
Episode 127 features return guest Annie Bradberry who hails from Corona, California. Annie is the Executive Director of a non-profit physical fitness program for kids in schools called The 100 Mile Club.
Annie has been involved in the stuttering community for her entire adult life. She is the former Executive Director of the National Stuttering Association and is a current Stutter Social Hangout host.
In today’s conversation, we chat about the recent annual NSA conference and why Annie keeps going back. We discuss contributions to the stuttering community, increased confidence and being at our personal best.
We also talk about the great impact of being Stutter Social hosts, and how our bi-weekly hosting is now something we both very much look forward to. Annie talks about the power of social media and people meeting other people who stutter for the first time in video hangouts. We also discuss the added benefit of meeting people in person at the annual NSA conference that we’ve come to know through the hangouts.
The podcast safe music used in today’s episode is credited to ccMixter.
Talk To People – Episode 126
Posted on: August 18, 2014
Episode 126 features Christine Birney who hails from Kesh, County Fermanagh, Northern Ireland. Christine works as a child care assistant.
She is also the founder of the Northern Ireland Support for Stammering and Dysfluency (NISSD) Fermanagh chapter for people who stammer in the west of Northern Ireland.
Listen in as we discuss the impact of workplace stammering and about confidence building. Christine shares about her journey with speech and language therapy, and meeting and talking with other people who stammer.
We also discuss Christine’s start-up of the stammering support chapter and the advertising she has done to reach out to people. Christine has done several interviews about her new support group.
This was a wonderful conversation with a confident young woman who embodies the importance of talking to people. Feel free to leave comments or ask questions in the comment section.
The podcast safe music used in today’s episode is credited to ccMixter.
Just Be Yourself – Episode 125
Posted on: August 8, 2014
Episode 125 features Satu Nygren who hails from Helsinki, Finland. Satu is 23 years old, is very active in the stuttering community and works as an au pair in Stockholm, Sweden.
Satu is a board member for the Finnish Stuttering Association and has attended youth camps sponsored by the European League of Stuttering Associations (ELSA.)
Satu attended her first youth camp three years ago, where she first saw a person who stutters act and speak with confidence.
Listen in as we talk about how people who stutter in Finland are regarded, covert stuttering, confidence and the positive impact acting had on Satu’s stuttering.
This was a great conversation with a bubbly, social young woman who loves to communicate. Feel free to leave comments or ask questions.
The podcast safe music used in this clip is credited to ccMixter.
Body Language And Stuttering
Posted on: August 6, 2014
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I just finished reading a great article in my Toastmasters magazine on the importance of body language when speaking, whether to one person or a large group.
As a Toastmaster, I know the importance of body language. It helps us to convey feelings and emotions and shows our level of confidence. People pick up on our non-verbal cues and then often know how to react or respond.
As I read and reflected on body language, it made me wonder how it relates with our stuttering. I posed this question on an online forum for women who stutter and got some good responses.
Several said something similar – standing with pride. Friend Amey writes: “Shoulders back, head up, eye contact. Keeping this posture during stuttering can be liberating. It rips down stereotypes of us being scared and curled up in a ball.”
Amey goes on to say that seeing a proud person who stutters is powerful. It conveys confidence. She says, “Watch me stutter!”
What do you think? Is body language important to keep in mind about our stuttering? Can you feel pride while stuttering?
Building Confidence
Posted on: August 1, 2014
I participated in a great conversation this week about ways to build confidence if you stutter. During a Stutter Social chat, a young person asked how some of us more “seasoned stutterers” deal with the anxiety of stuttering in certain speaking situations.
Some people shared their experiences from speech therapy, some shared from their perspective on acceptance and two of us talked a little about Toastmasters.
The following are some of the ideas that we shared about building confidence. Maybe you’ve tried some of them. Maybe you’ve got a suggestion to add.
- Don’t obsess or rehearse before hand. That increases anxiety and decreases spontaneous conversation.
- Consider advertising and letting listeners know that you are a person who stutters.
- Try using voluntary stuttering to help you gain some control during the speaking situation.
- Seize opportunities to speak, such as Toastmasters clubs or other speaking forums. Practice helps reduce anxiety and build confidence.
- Remind yourself that you have as much right to be in that speaking situation as the next person, that your voice deserves to be heard.
- If someone interrupts you, calmly let them know you’re not finished speaking yet and then proceed to complete your thoughts, no matter how long it takes.
What do you think? Do you have anything to add?
Inspiring Graduation Speech
Posted on: May 15, 2014
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Do you think this young man has a disability? This clip has been making the rounds on social media and many are saying the young man is so inspiring, being able to make such a speech with a disability.
She Finds Confidence – Episode 117
Posted on: May 5, 2014
Episode 117 features Jamila Damani who hails from Brighton, England. Jamila is a second year university student studying anthropology and international development. She hopes to work with a women’s organization one day, in education or mental health.
Jamila shares that she started stuttering at around age 11 or 12. She held back a lot and felt insignificant as a person growing up.
Listen in as we talk about early speech therapy experiences and finding The McGuire Program. Initially, Jamila shares she was skeptical of the McGuire program. That all changes when she attends an International Women’s Day event and meets an inspiring panelist. Jamila loves to tell the story of how she never knew someone so confident could have a stutter.
Jamila went on to do a McGuire course before starting university and has found her confident and eloquent voice. She hopes to one day be a panelist at an International Women’s Day event and be a role model for others. I think she already is one, wouldn’t you say?
Feel free to leave comments or ask questions in the comment section below. Feedback is a gift.
The music used in today’s episode is credited to ccMixter.
Book Review: Stuttering Is Cool
Posted on: January 2, 2014
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I had the recent privilege to read my friend Daniele Rossi’s first book, Stuttering is Cool: A Guide to Stuttering in a Fast-Talking World.
Rossi’s book can be purchased at his Etsy shop. If you enjoy reading books about stuttering, I encourage you to pick this one up. It is a light, easy read full of surprises.
I first met Daniele through the stuttering community on Twitter, and later learned of his website Stuttering is Cool. His website houses his podcast of the same name, and 101 links about stuttering.
A book seems a natural extension of Rossi’s podcast and website. His premise is that stuttering is nothing to be ashamed of and it is possible to stutter with confidence.
So, does he convey the same premise in the written book?
Answer: A resounding YES. The book is a fun, inspiring look at managing stuttering. Daniele infuses humor throughout. He uses his own comics to illustrate the book, and puts comments in the margins so you sometimes have to turn the book upside down and around in order to read it.
He also uses a genius page numbering system that once again conveys the humor that can be found with stuttering.
Daniele recounts his own personal experiences with stuttering and shares how he went from being fearful of stuttering and trying to hide it at all costs to now embracing stuttering in his life.
Daniele shares benefits of stuttering, as well as tools and “secret weapons” that a person can use to stutter with more confidence. He also shares a piece about change and how important it is to include family and friends on your stuttering journey, especially as you make key changes about acceptance.
I really enjoyed this book. I read several sections more than once and found myself nodding and saying “uh huh” as parts resonated with me. And of course I enjoyed being mentioned and having my thoughts about change included in such a positive, inspiring book.
As I previously mentioned, if you enjoy reading books about stuttering, get this one and add it to your library. It’s well worth it and will have you smiling about stuttering.
Kudos to you Daniele for a great first book! Congratulations!
Stuttering And Assertiveness
Posted on: October 3, 2013
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A reader asked me if could write about assertiveness and offer some tips about how to be assertive while stuttering. Good topic, as we all might need gentle reminders about what being assertive really is.
Being assertive involves advocating for yourself in a way that is positive, proactive and respectful. It also means being clear, direct and honest.
It’s not always easy to be assertive. We may have been raised with stereotypical beliefs that men need to be aggressive and that women need to take care of others first. Or we might fear creating conflict, being criticized or rejected. Self esteem has a lot to do with how assertive we are.
I’ve had experience with not always “practicing what I preach.” I’ve encouraged individuals I’ve worked with for years to stand up and speak up for themselves. But it’s not easy. It’s a skill that takes practice. I still need to practice it.
It may be easier to scream at someone or swallow our feelings and not say anything, but being assertive is better because it respects you and others. It also helps us to stay calm and relaxed in stressful situations.
Stuttering openly can be stressful. We become vulnerable. Being comfortable and assertive and letting your needs be known can relieve stress.
Here are some tips for stuttering assertively:
Use “I” statements. Practice using “I” statements with someone you feel comfortable with. Saying “I stutter. I am OK with it and hope you are too” puts you comfortably in control of the communication encounter and gives your listener a cue as to how to react.
Maintain good eye contact. Practice maintaining eye contact while doing some voluntary stuttering. Maintaining eye contact is a sign of self-confidence.
Be brave enough to respond even when someone reacts negatively to your stuttering. If someone laughs or makes fun of your stuttering, consider saying something like, “hey, I stutter, and I really don’t like it when someone laughs at me. It hurts my feelings.” Consider practicing saying that with someone you trust.
Reframe negative thoughts into positive ones. When your mind says you can’t do something because you stutter, turn that around into an opportunity for a challenge.
Being assertive means letting your voice be heard and seizing speaking opportunities.
It also means being kind to yourself – if an attempt at being assertive doesn’t work, don’t swallow your feelings and revert to silence. Try again the very next time the opportunity presents itself.
Back To School
Posted on: August 27, 2013
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It’s that time of year when it’s back to school or college. For young people who stutter, this can be a tough time, as it means meeting new people and teachers and having to introduce yourself, which can be very difficult for people who stutter.
Many people who stutter have trouble saying their own name, which of course results in often dumb comments by listeners, like the famous, “did you forget your name?” That’s happened to me as an adult, and it’s hard to take, so for kids and teens who stutter, it can be particularly tough.
I know a lot of young people who stutter who have learned how to self advocate and talk to their teachers about their stuttering, what it is and what the young person needs from his/her teacher in order to be their most successful.
I heard today from the mom of one of these great kids who is starting high school this year. Transitioning to high school is tough enough but add stuttering to the mix and it can be a terrible experience for kids who stutter. Fear, embarrassment and avoidance can become the norm unless the kid knows good self-advocacy skills.
My young friend wrote a letter to her teachers and met with the vice principal of her new high school to let him know she stutters, what will make things easier for her throughout the year and to ask his support in getting her letter to her teachers. The letter basically states, “Hey, I’m Anna and I stutter” and goes on to state what stuttering is and how she and her teachers can work together to ensure Anna has a positive and productive year.
I am so proud to know this kid. Being able to self-advocate is a skill we all need in order to successfully navigate through life. And this kid is 14.
Good for her.
What are you doing to get ready for back to school or college? Not even as a student – are you an adult who stutters who works in education and maybe tries to hide your stuttering? We can all learn from Anna!
Episode 108 features Roisin McManus who hails from Brooklyn, NY. Roisin works as a Registered Nurse in a Manhattan Emergency Room and is pursuing her master’s degree to become a Nurse Practitioner.
Roisin also stays busy with her involvement in the stuttering community and the stuttering support group she helps lead in Brooklyn.
Listen in to a robust conversation about managing stuttering and the emotions around stuttering, being confident in the workplace, the importance of support and how shame can sneak in when we least expect it.
We also talk about the workshop Roisin helped with at least month’s NSA conference on authentic stuttering, and the distinction between authentic stuttering and authenticity and the price we sometimes pay for both.
Roisin also shares about what it means for her to want to be witness to her own stuttering. We have a meaningful discussion about how important that is.
This was a great, wide open, honest conversation with a woman who talks a lot about stuttering, as she is also a co-host on the Stuttertalk podcast. I was thrilled to have Roisin as a guest, as we’d been trying forever to make this happen. I am glad it did – it was worth the wait.
Music used in today’s episode is credited to ccMixter.
Taking On Courage
Posted on: March 19, 2013
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It’s amazing to see how many people who stutter are using social media to bolster their confidence and speaking skills.
The rise of Facebook groups for the stuttering community has really spurred people to take and create more opportunities to share a little about themselves in ways that were previously off-limits.
This evening, I strolled over to Stuttering Arena (on Facebook – a closed group with over 14oo members!) and watched several videos of people introducing themselves and stuttering openly on camera. This trend has been going on for months, but I usually don’t have time to watch and listen to more than one or two.
I think it’s amazing that people are taking these risks to open up and share.
It takes a lot of courage to record yourself stuttering and posting it publicly on a social media site.
Kudos to those of you doing so! If you haven’t, would you consider it?
Three Tough Cookies – Episode 101
Posted on: March 1, 2013
Episode 101 features three women who stutter who have all recently made their acting debuts. All three women live in New Jersey.
Katherine Filer is a long time computer consultant and recent life coach, Lucy Reed is a school based speech and language pathologist and Sue Camlin is a retired public school teacher who is involved in numerous community service activities.
All three ladies can also add “actress” to their resumes.
Listen in as the ladies discuss how this opportunity to be in a one-act play evolved, how it has impacted their lives and the importance of taking on brave things.
We talk about stuttering during rehearsals and the actual performance, the fear of forgetting lines and the joy of making a difference. The ladies plan to present their theatrical journey at a workshop for the 2013 National Stuttering Association conference, as well as take many next steps to further the journey.
What a great story! Feel free to leave comments or ask questions for any of the ladies in the comment section. Remember, feedback is a gift.
Below is a clip of the news coverage the ladies got on February 27, 2013.
The podcast safe music used in this episode is credited to ccMixter.
Make Room For The Stuttering 
What people are saying!