Posts Tagged ‘blocking and stuttering’
Don’t Force It
Posted on: December 31, 2012
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On this last day in December 2012, I looked back at some of the many posts I’ve written since February 2009. It’s wondrous to me that I’ve kept up with blogging for almost 4 years. Not everyone can say that. It’s easy to start something. The hard part is sticking with it, and sustaining it.
Writing takes effort, time and persistence. We write in the hopes that other people will read and be moved. We’ve either inspired them, given them something to think about outside of their experience or have called them to action.
Writing about a pretty narrow topic for four years also takes something else – the ability to know when I have something to say and when I don’t. And to not force it when there’s nothing there. I learned that the hard way. When I first started blogging, I thought I had to write everyday.
Then I began to question that. Who said I had to write everyday in order to be a success? Being a success in my book began to mean sticking to it – persisting with writing good content. And how did I know I was writing good content? Because people were reading and leaving comments.
That was good enough for me.
Now, I see that “Don’t force it” also applies to my topic itself – stuttering. When I have something to say and I am having a particularly “stutter-y” day, the best thing to do is not force it. When caught in a block, I try to remind myself (as hard as that can be) to not force myself to push through it. Sometimes it makes the block worse.
The best thing is to stop, compose myself and breathe through the block. Taking a moment to just breathe, and not force anything, seems to help me to move forward, freely.
So it is with writing. Don’t force it – write when there is something to say. And don’t write when there is nothing to write about.
Oh, if only stuttering, and life, were so simple.
Falling Off A Cliff
Posted on: October 27, 2012
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What does the actual moment of stuttering feel like to you?
Yesterday in a training, we were talking about metaphors and the trainer was asking us to apply metaphors for things we were feeling.
We were then to dig deep to see if we could identify the feelings behind the metaphor we chose. No one volunteered, so I took a chance.
I shared that a common metaphor for me is that I often feel like I’ve fallen off a cliff and no one has even noticed. As this was a work training on change, everyone believed I was referring to a work situation. I was not. I was referring to how I sometimes feel when I get caught in a good stuttering block.
However, since it was change we were refferring to, I let the trainer dig deeper with me and allowed her to think it was a work issue. It could have been.
She asked how it feels when I fall off the cliff. I said it feels scary and helpless. She asked if there was anything that let me know I was about to fall of the cliff. I said anxiety usually triggered it.
She asked if I knew why I was falling. I said because I wasn’t in control. Everyone was believing this was a work situation. She asked what I could do to prevent the fall. I said I could talk to someone about how I feel before the anxiety tips me over the edge.
She asked what kept me from talking about the way I felt. I said it was fear of being laughed at. She asked who was my direct report. I told her the guys name – he was right in the room. She asked what could I do to feel comfortable talking with him.
I told her I felt comfortable talking with him – that wasn’t it. She kept pushing for me to dig. I didn’t want to admit I was talking about stuttering. She asked again what was I really afraid of, still thinking I was referring to work.
I finally surprised myself and said judgement. There, I had said it. I feel like I am falling off a cliff when blocking and I fear someone is negatively judging me.
But the metaphor surprisingly fit into a pretend work scenario too. I get anxious when I feel someone at work is judging me.
The trainer felt good that I had risked and shared and felt my colleagues had learned from my share. She encouraged us to dig deep when we are feeling the impact of change in our lives. And to use metaphors to help us dig deeper.
I thought long and hard after the training and was happy that I shared this metaphor that I often feel – even though I didn’t come out and directly say I was talking about stuttering. I didn’t have to – it still related to a general fear of judgement, which is a universal fear. We all want to be accepted and not seen as different from the norm.
What about you? How do you feel in the stuttering moment? Is there a metaphor you could use to describe that feeling?
Episode 67 features Georgia Stephens, who hails from Minneapolis, Minnesota. Georgia had a career as a choreographer, writer and dance performer for about 30 years.
She is currently enrolled in the Master’s degree program at St Mary’s University, studying Counseling Psychology.
Georgia is interested in perhaps using dance to help people who stutter, and hopes to combine traditional talk therapy with dance therapy.
Georgia shares how she came to experience that most people think that we can only communicate using words. She realized that is not true, that we can also communicate through dance and movement.
Listen in to a fascinating conversation about dance and movement, covert stuttering, blocking, and the energy we use when trying not to stutter. We also discuss beating ourselves up, shame, disclosure, and support.
The podcast safe music used in this clip is credited to ccMixter. Please be sure to leave comments for Georgia or just let her know what a great job she did! Feedback is a gift!
Have A Good Wuh-wuh-wuh . . . .
Posted on: September 1, 2011
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I got stuck in a good block today. This has not happened in a while and it made me feel very self-conscious.
It was Orientation Day at school and all the staff were in the building readying classrooms for next week. People were visiting with each other and sharing details about summer vacations.
As staff in my wing were leaving, two women walked out together, one of them calling out, “have a good weekend.” I called out the same.
Except it didn’t quite work like that. My reciprocal first three words,”have a good” came out fine. When I went to form the “w” to say “weekend”, nothing happened. No sound came out, but I felt my mouth “tremble” three times as the “w” got stuck and went nowhere.
I didn’t finish my thought! The two women were already out of the office, as I could hear their voices trailing away.
And I felt so aware that my voice too had trailed away, with an unfinished thought hanging heavy in the air.
The two women probably had no clue what had just happened, but I felt so uncomfortable. I felt my jaw and mouth tremble as I “pushed” for the “w” to come out.
It didn’t. I thought about it all the way home. “Why did that happen?” “Why did it bother me so?”
I am glad I was in my office and no one saw me. And I didn’t like feeling glad about that.
Make Room For The Stuttering 
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