Make Room For The Stuttering

Have A Good Wuh-wuh-wuh . . . .

Posted on: September 1, 2011

I got stuck in a good block today. This has not happened in a while and it made me feel very self-conscious.

It was Orientation Day at school and all the staff were in the building readying classrooms for next week. People were visiting with each other and sharing details about summer vacations.

As staff in my wing were leaving, two women walked out together, one of them calling out, “have a good weekend.” I called out the same.

Except it didn’t quite work like that. My reciprocal first three words,”have a good” came out fine. When I went to form the “w” to say “weekend”, nothing happened. No sound came out, but I felt my mouth “tremble” three times as the “w” got stuck and went nowhere.

I didn’t finish my thought! The two women were already out of the office, as I could hear their voices trailing away.

And I felt so aware that my voice too had trailed away, with an unfinished thought hanging heavy in the air.

The two women probably had no clue what had just happened, but I felt so uncomfortable. I felt my jaw and mouth tremble as I “pushed” for the “w” to come out.

It didn’t. I thought about it all the way home. “Why did that happen?” “Why did it bother me so?”

I am glad I was in my office and no one saw me. And I didn’t like feeling glad about that.

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7 Responses to "Have A Good Wuh-wuh-wuh . . . ."

that has happened to me and I walk away digging my fingernails into my palms! – I used to have a thing about saying hello on the phone when I was young and would answer it with yes, which especially in work sounded so rude! Still, there are people with disabilities worse than ours and we need to acknowledge that to ourselves at times and like you, conquer the fear every day!
..

Hey Pam. I can totally relate. I hate when situations like that happen. I know it is not easy but try not to beat yourself up to much over it. We stutter, sometimes more sometimes less. That just happened to be a pretty good one. Be kind to yourself. See ya. Steve

Pam, think that some people have such situations every day (I used to have). Not just wuh-wuh, but hhh, and aaa and all kind of stuff. Does it make those people less than those who can say whatever they want? You yourself is such a wonderful advocate for stuttering – you make people who stutter feel proud of what they are. No matter how long was your block – there is absolutely no need to feel down. You had this experience, you have been through a lot lately, so what? You remain a wonderful communicator. SOmetimes you stutter. This time you blocked. So what? I know it is easier to say, but why we should feel less only because sometimes we cannot say what we want?
Anna

Hi Anna,
Thanks for the feedback. I was more or less just sharing this experience, and my surprise on how it felt and how glad I felt that no one knew that thois stuff still does make me react sometimes.
I know its going to happen from time to time – its just that sometimes I still feel like such a hypocrite, because I talk about beingh comfortable and accepting, but I don’t always FEEL that way.
It’s those surprise feelings that get me thinking – where is this coming from? I thought I had this licked? Why do I feel still feel shame or guilt or worry?
That’s all – I am not really down about it, just genuinley surprised when it bothers me still.
Pam

Ae man, I hate when this stuff happens! Or when saying “you’re welcome” or even “you too”, or some other routine and expected response. I’ve learned to laugh at it! Haha

Yes you are right. We do have to make room for stuttering in everyday life. It’s a struggle that you will eventually have to accept. I just feel uncomfortable when I get to a word that I know that I will have a problem with and people give me funny looks. I often practice having conversations in my car before I go in to work. Sometimes it works.

Hi Ty – thanks for checking in and commenting. You say that sometimes you practice conversations in your car before going in to work, and sometimes it works. What happens when it doesn’t work? 🙂

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