Author Archive
Now I Understand
Posted on: July 11, 2011
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Me and David Seidler, Academy Award Screenplay writer of "The King's Speech"
Just got back from the annual National Stuttering Association conference in Ft Worth, Texas. It was a great weekend. Now that I have attended six consecutive conferences, I feel quite at home there and love recognizing old friends and meeting new ones so quickly.
Time after time, this weekend, I heard the phrase, “now I understand.” Even if you are meeting someone for the first time, you feel as if you already know each other because of the bond we share. That automatic feeling that the other person knows exactly what you are thinking and feeling, and that the shared experience of our unique difference is powerful.
I had a great conversation with a friend from my home town who was attending his first NSA conference. After meeting people and telling them where he was from, many asked if they knew me (which is hugely gratifying to feel known in this tight-knit community.) But my friend also mentioned that he finally understands how powerful being part of the stuttering community is, after only experiencing himself for 2 days.
He and I are in the same community here at home, yet I do not participate in any of the stuttering events at the local college that has an active program for people who stutter. I have deeply felt that void in my life, having a stuttering community right in my backyard that I do not feel a part of. My friend told me that now he really gets how powerful community is, after his own experience feeling embraced immediately by the NSA community.
I was glad to have shared that conversation with my friend, and many more deeply significant conversations and moments from this incredibly powerful four-day weekend with over 800 people who stutter or care about people who stutter.
Later in the week, I will provide an update of the three workshops I participated in as facilitator, and two other terrific sessions that I participated in. And I will share some of the best tidbits and moments from some of the unstructured activities that I participated in.
It was a deeply moving and emotional weekend for most attendees, especially me. I will have some pictures posted on Facebook, but couldn’t resist posting this one of myself posing with David Seidler, Academy Award winning screenplay writer for the stunning movie about stuttering, “The King’s Speech.”
Check back later in the week for some updates of the best moments.
Meeting New People
Posted on: July 7, 2011
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As I write this, I decided to schedule it for Thursday. By then, I will be in Ft Worth, Texas at the 2011 National Stuttering Association annual conference. Thursday morning, I am co-presenting a workshop with good friend Joe called “Bring Up The Stuttering.”
We will talk about why it is so important to talk about our stuttering and not be afraid to bring it up.
Afterwards, I hope to meet a LOT of people who stutter. Thursday will be the first full day of workshops and most people will be attending workshops, interacting with each other and meeting new people.
I saw on one of the email groups a question from a conference “first-timer.” He asked, “how do you meet people at a big conference like this?” He also said he felt kind of silly asking it, but had the guts to anyway. He mentioned he is shy and finds it hard to introduce himself to new people.
Here’s the best way! Walk up to someone you don’t know, especially if they are sitting alone, stick out your hand, and say, “Hi, my name is . . . . . and its great to meet you.” It’s that easy.
I plan to do a lot of that during my time at the conference. Meeting new people, hearing new stories and making new friends. That’s why I go to these conferences. I will be advertising in some way too. I have a couple of shirts that proclaim I stutter, that are unique, like me.
I will post next week on some of the highlights of the conference.
Episode 2 features Henryk Sarat, who hails from Chicago, Illinois. Henryk is 24 years old and recently completed his Master’s degree in Computer Science at the University of Chicago.
He worked as a trading software developer at a high-frequency trading firm and learned he wanted to create more of an impact so he became a tech entrepreneur. Henryk strives to lift the bar higher and take risks, create and inspire change. He has an entrepreneurial spirit and wants to create the next big thing that will change the world.
Listen in as we talk about how stuttering has impacted his life, positive attitude shift, inspiring change, and pushing out of our comfort zones. He also shares his experiences with speech therapy approaches and gaining confidence.
We have a great time getting to know each other in this conversation and focus on humor and not taking self too seriously.
Henryk is involved in Toastmasters and is actively involved in the global stuttering community. He created the site StutteringCommunity about 3 years ago to allow people to connect with each other via Skype.
Henryk attended his first NSA conference last year, and is planning to attend again this year in Ft Worth, Texas. I am looking forward to meeting Henryk in person this week in Texas and collecting my 22 and 1/2 hugs.
The music used in this episode is credited to ccMixter. Please feel free to leave comments. Feedback is a gift. (Episode recorded on June 30, 2011.)
Advertising My Stuttering
Posted on: July 1, 2011
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I am actively involved in the two major stuttering self-help communities here in the US, the National Stuttering Association (NSA) and FRIENDS. I have tried to give back and help out both organizations over the last few years, as both have had a profound impact on my life.
Since I am basically a “starving artist” type, its hard for me to make financial contributions. But I can give my time and volunteer, which I have done for both organizations.
This year for the NSA, I reached out and advertised my stuttering to 10 local businesses. I asked them to purchase an ad in the program for the upcoming conference and sent them information. I only heard back from 3 of them. I don’t think any actually purchased an ad! But I advertised!
For FRIENDS, I decided to actively sell raffle tickets for a prize that will be drawn at the July conference by David Seidler, the Academy Award winning screenplay writer for the movie “The King’s Speech”. By last week, I had sold 522 tickets! The raffle coordinator sent me another 10 booklets I requested, and I took them with me on errands I ran over the weekend.
I had about 4 booklets of tickets left when I stopped in the local grocery store on a Saturday night. I decided to advertise my stuttering at the customer service desk and ask employees if they would be interested in supporting efforts to help kids who stutter.
A funny thing happened!
I used some voluntary stuttering, which quickly turned into real stuttering as I gave my pitch. Two managers and the clerk behind the counter all agreed to buy tickets. I was thrilled!
A woman standing next to me, who obviously heard this exchange, scrounged in her pocket and produced a dollar in change and asked to buy one ticket. She said she really couldn’t afford it, but wanted to help. I was touched. She also said that she knows people can be cruel and she hoped her tiny bit helped. I assured her it did!
Now here’s the funny, or strange, part. As I waited for the buyers to fill out their parts of the raffle tickets, I explained a little bit about FRIENDS. By now, I was just plain stuttering well.
After everybody finished, I collected the money, made sure everyone had their half of the tickets, and then thanked them. All three employees used the term “honey” with me. One said, “no problem, honey, good luck.” One manager who I see a lot also said, “sure honey, good luck” and the other manager also said, “have a good evening, honey, good job!”
Now, I achieved my goal of selling some tickets, raising money for FRIENDS and raising awareness of stuttering. And I definitely advertised my stuttering, even using a little bit of voluntary stuttering.
I felt discouraged when I left the store. I felt they had been condescending with me, almost like they felt sorry for me because I stutter and WAS stuttering. All three of these folks were younger than me, one in her twenties! I have never liked when a young person in retail or fast food has referred to me as “honey” or “sweetheart.”
But this seemed different. What do you think? Has this ever happened with you? Actually, have you ever advertised stuttering like this?
Episode 60 features Val Ostergaard, who hails from Cary, Illinois, which is northwest of Chicago. Val is 25 years old, graduated in May with her Masters degree in Speech Language Pathology from Illinois State University and will start a job as a school therapist in September.
This was a bit of a surprise to Val and her mom, as she always thought she was going to be a nurse. In her first year in college, she took an introduction to speech pathology course, and knew then that she was supposed to be a speech therapist.
Val is one of the original FRIENDS kids. She went to her first FRIENDS conference with her family when she was 13 years old.Val recalls being nervous and not really wanting to go, but her private therapist (Kristin Chmela) had recommended it and Val’s mom really wanted to go. The first conferences were only with 20 people and the evening activities were at someone’s home for a pool party.
Listen in as Val shares the unique perspective of having grown up with FRIENDS and seeing the organization grow and evolve into the national association it is now. Val shares how one year she and her brother actually chose a FRIENDS conference and gave up a promised trip to Disney World.
Val also shares how that same early conference in D.C. did not yet have a teen room for the kids to hang out together. She recalls all of the teens, girls and boys, hanging out in a large women’s bathroom at night, talking and playing card games.
We also discuss Val’s early speech therapy (a lot of it!), family involvement, sibling experience, courage, fears and worries about judgement.
I met Val at my first FRIENDS convention in 2008, and she has been an inspiration. Feel free to leave comments for Val or Pam. Feedback is a gift!
The podcast safe music used in today’s episode is credited to ccMixter.
How Do You Bring It Up?
Posted on: June 22, 2011
There has been some great dialogue going on over at the Covert-S email group about telling people that you are going to a stuttering conference. As in, what do you say? How do you bring it up? Now, you would think, what’s the big deal? Just tell people, right?
Wrong, if you are a covert stutterer. People who stutter covertly work very hard at making sure no one in their world knows they stutter. And that takes a lot of energy, effort and deception. Or, if you stutter openly, you may just not want people to know that you are going to spend time and money to be around a bunch of other people who stutter.
That was me for a very long time. I was covert. I used tricks, word substitution and avoidance to expertly hide the fact that I stuttered to most people. Problem was, not only was I hiding the stuttering, I was also hiding myself. To the point that I couldn’t take it anymore and finally stopped trying so hard to hide stuttering. That’s when my life changed.
When I went to my first stuttering conference, there wasn’t many people I told. Not because I was embarrassed or fearful of how people would react. At the time, I was unemployed. I had just been fired from my job in May and was going to my first stuttering conference in June.
I didn’t have co-workers to tell where I was going and why. I didn’t have people asking me when I returned if I had a good time. Maybe that’s how I was supposed to attend my first conference. The NSA provided financial assistance that covered my registration and room, and my mother and her husband used their frequent flier miles to purchase my air fare.
Since that first conference in 2006, I have been to 4 subsequent NSA conferences and 3 FRIENDS conventions. When people at work ask where I am going, I tell them. If they ask for details, I go on and on about it. If they don’t, I don’t.
These days, people know I stutter, but don’t necessarily want to know all the details. And that’s fine. What is important is that I am OK with what I am doing and where I am going.
Now, back to the question. How do you bring up the fact that you are attending a stuttering conference to the people who you never have told that you stutter? Some folks have shared that they are afraid to tell even their families, and have told people they are going on a work-related trip. They tell work friends they are going on a family vacation.
One person even shared that she has to be sure to tell the same lie to person A and to person B, so that she does not get embarrassingly caught up in a web of lies.
One person suggested that someone might pick two people to tell before hand, so that when she returned from the conference, she would have people to tell all about it, who wouldn’t seem puzzled or confused, because they would already know. I chimed in that this “two person goal” could also be used AT the conference.
I suggest that a first-timer to a stuttering conference set a goal to meet at least 2 new people each day, so that by the end of the conference you have made at least 8-10 new connections. People that you can talk with throughout the year who understand. And who can offer you support.
I did that at my third conference. I made it a personal goal to meet and really get to know at least 10 new people. I succeeded! Now I know lots of people in the stuttering community and lots of people know me.
How did I do it? Simple – I went up and introduced myself to people who had “first-timer” on their name tag. It was really easy for me. All I had to do was remember how nervous, alone, and intimidated I felt at my first conference. Now I am paying it forward.
But it’s not that easy for everyone. Especially if YOU are the first-timer! It can be very intimidating when you are used to hiding to suddenly be assertive and confident and walk up to strangers and introduce yourself.
But what better place, right? A stuttering conference is safe – because you are meeting people just like you. The real challenge is how you deal with it the rest of the year. What you tell people before you go, and when you return home (sometimes on cloud 9, on that “high” you get from being in an environment where for once, you are not the minority.)
My good friend Joe Klein and I are co-facilitating a workshop on this very topic at the NSA conference next month. So this thread on the covert-S list has given me good insights and reminded me of how I felt at my first conference. It can be scary and overwhelming!
What do you think? How do you bring it up with others that you don’t ordinarily talk to about stuttering? What thoughts might you offer to those who are worrying about explaining an “un-talked about” absence?
By Accident – Episode 59
Posted on: June 20, 2011
Episode 59 features Maria, 28, who was born and raised in Eastern Europe. Maria presently lives in Liverpool, England, and is studying Human Resources Management.
Maria landed in the UK quite by accident! Listen in as she explains how a half-year commitment to a new job resulted in many changes.
Maria didn’t start stuttering until 12 years old. She shares that she didn’t get much support and no therapy. In fact, her family acted as if Maria’s stuttering didn’t exist, and Maria herself describes pretending she didn’t stutter.
She found therapy as an adult quite by accident as well! While browsing in a library one day, Maria picked up a book on self-development. One of the suggestions was to join Toastmasters. She did, and tells the story of how the President of that club quite assertively pulled her aside at her very first meeting and told her she must try a speech therapy program that he had attended, the McGuire Programme.
Maria attended a McGuire course one year ago, and tells us how both her speech and life have dramatically changed. She describes the feeling of “being let out of prison.” Maria has now done things she never thought possible, including many job interviews, taking a job as a receptionist and even tracking down relatives, which she would never do because of her fear of using the telephone.
Listen in to Maria’s accidental transformation from a shy, fearful hairdresser to the now confident, ambitious woman studying to become an HR Manager and living in a new country.
Credit for the podcast safe music used in this episode goes to ccMixter. Feel free to leave comments for Maria or Pam. Remember, feedback is a gift.
More On Stuttering As A Disability
Posted on: June 17, 2011
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A very timely and interesting article was written this week at Cincinatti.com about a police officer who stutters who is being reassigned. He believes his reassignment will endanger his life and others, as he will not be as effective in his road patrol role.
Because of his stuttering, Ken Parson would likely have trouble quickly yelling “Stop, police!” to a bad guy or calling “Officer needs assistance!”, in part, because Parson’s stuttering gets worse when he’s under stress.
Parson also would have a hard time gaining respect from suspects if he stutters. “The attitude might be: ‘No way, I’m not stopping for a stutterer.'”
In his role as a detective, Parson’s speech impediment worked in his favor. His stuttering has disarmed some suspects into confessing.
Under the American with Disabilities Act (ADA), Parson is entitled to a “reasonable accommodation” of his disability. But Parson is not seeking anything other than keeping his current role.
“What they’re doing is removing the accommodation by moving him from his detective job, which he functions very well in, and onto road patrol. That decision is inconsistent with safety.” Parson has retained a lawyer and is fighting the reassignment.
This will be interesting to follow and see how the law and the ADA respond to this case, where indeed stuttering is a disability in Parson’s job as a police officer. This article was a great follow-up to my recent post on “Who Gets To Make The Choice?”
In this case, I definitely believe this officer’s stuttering is a disability that requires reasonable accommodation in order for him to perform his job effectively and safely.
What do you think? Thoughts? Comments? Let’s continue the discussion.
Who Gets To Make The Choice?
Posted on: June 14, 2011
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I have never written about how I feel about stuttering being a disability. I have been asked about it and I have talked about it, both with those who stutter and those who don’t. I know disability can be a very contentious subject, because some feel strongly that stuttering is a disability and others feel if it doesn’t limit their life, then it’s not.
I believe that my stuttering is not a disability (there was a time it was). It does not substantially limit my ability to speak or communicate today, as defined by the American’s With Disability Act of 1990 (ADA), which was amended in 2008.
These days, I speak and communicate very effectively, even on the days when I stutter a lot. There was a time when I did not. I was so afraid of stuttering publicly and being judged, that I often opted out of speaking situations, or avoided. That fear was very disabling to me. I felt invisible.
The ADA definition of disability also means whether a person has a record of an impairment or is “regarded as having an impairment”, whether or not the impairment impedes a major life activity. Which in the case of stuttering, would be speaking and communication.
It’s this part that I want to speak to – being regarded as having a disability. I recently had a conversation with my supervisor about upcoming changes in my job assignment. My current position has been abolished effective June 30, and I have been laid off. I am hopeful that another position will be available for me to remain within the same organization.
My supervisor mentioned that the grant funding has changed direction. The major initiative of our grant will focus on ensuring access and equity of services and programs to special needs populations. This will include not only groups with disabilities, but also economically under-served groups.
My boss mentioned that I would be perfect for this position because of my disability. I was offended by how he said this. I don’t consider myself disabled, and am bothered that my boss obviously does. This is not the first reference he has made about stuttering as a disability.
Last year, when he did my annual evaluation and went over it with me, he said, “aren’t you proud of me that I didn’t use the term “disability” once in your evaluation?” And the year before that, after my first public speaking event at school, he commented, “you didn’t have to try to climb the mountain and ride your bicycle up it also all in the same night.”
When I had asked him what he had meant by that, he further explained, “if you knew you were going to butcher the kid’s names, why didn’t you ask someone else to read the names for you?” I remember writing about this before, and also remember how angry I felt by what he said.
There is a good chance I may get a position serving special populations (which I have been doing indirectly for a long time anyway). I will need to be an even louder advocate for those who can’t always advocate for themselves. I have been thinking a lot about where I stand on my stuttering being a disability.
Because I am known to stutter, therefore, I am obviously “regarded as” a stutterer, which fits the definition of disability under the ADA. But I don’t consider myself disabled. And my boss’s perception of me having a disability, while certainly not bad, somehow doesn’t sit right with me.
A friend of mine said that I should label my stuttering as a disability if I plan to move along with my small business. That it will net me more opportunities, being able to use the term “minority owned” business. Like getting two for the price of one. Being a woman and disabled would possibly steer more business my way.
I definitely don’t like the idea of “using the disability card.” But I know some people do, to move forward in life.
What do you think of this? Whose choice should it be to consider one’s stuttering a disability?
I Really Do Stutter – Episode 58
Posted on: June 10, 2011
Episode 58 features Sarah Bell from Garland, Texas, outside of Dallas. Sarah is a full-time mom to 20-month-old Ethan. She is studying a medical transcription class on-line, which she will complete in December. Sarah hopes to continue working from home, to be right there with Ethan!
Sarah and I first met at the NSA Conference in New Jersey in 2008. I recall being so impressed with Sarah sharing her story at the “Covert, Exposed” panel workshop. We were guests together in September 2008 on the Stuttertalk episode Pam and Sarah: Covert Stuttering (Episode 63).
Sarah shares her experience of being extremely covert, and wanting to be more open, but continually struggling with it. She talks about her childhood and why she tried to hide her stuttering.
She ponders the question of “fit” in the stuttering community. People who do not stutter or stutter overtly probably never consider this!
Sarah shares her self-help experiences, and recalls her first meeting of the Dallas NSA Chapter where she met Russ Hicks, who stutters differently than she does. We discuss the gamut of feelings one can have when meeting someone else who stutters for the first time. That “aha” moment of, “wow, I’m not the only one!”
Listen in as we discuss covert stuttering, denial, self-esteem and fear. We also discuss how important it is to not beat ourselves up when we go backwards and the need to be kind to ourselves. And worrying about whether Ethan might stutter as he begins talking.
The music clip “Gently” is credited to DanoSongs. Feel free to leave comments for Sarah and let her know what a great job she did! Feedback is a gift!
Reminder To Self
Posted on: June 6, 2011
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Rather than write about how the annual awards ceremony went last week, I have a clip of it here to show you!
I always worry about what impression I create when I speak publicly, especially at school functions. I know I will stutter, but like anyone who stutters, I always hope it will be one of my better days.
These events serve as a reminder of what really counts. It’s not about me. This annual awards night is for the students. No one cares about the person up on stage reading off the names. What’s important is that these kids worked hard all year and deserve their special night.
The candle lighting ceremony went well, considering we had little practice time. And my little friend towards the end who reads the poem brought tears to my eyes. She was so nervous and came to me a few days before and told me. But she also said she was very honored I asked her. Again, note to self – it’s not about me. That was a big step for her. Who knows? She might be a famous talk-show host some day.
A lesson for us all!
Paying It Forward – Male Episode 1
Posted on: June 2, 2011
This inaugural episode of men who stutter sharing HIStories is a risk for me. I am committed to providing a unique space for women to share, since we are the minority. And I do not wish to diminish in any way that which has turned out to be so special and unique.
But I have learned that all of our stories need to be shared. So after much thought, and encouragement from others,this space for men’s stories will appear monthly.
Episode 1 features Alan Badmington, a former police officer from Wales, in the United Kingdom. I first met Alan at an NSA Conference in Long Beach, CA in 2006. We have bumped into each other virtually in many places since.
The shy and retiring Alan shares his inspirational story from troubled childhood and adolescence with a severe stutter to difficulties encountered in his police career.
During the past 11 years, Alan has turned his life around to become an extremely active and highly successful public speaker. Alan regularly addresses diverse community organizations in an attempt to increase public awareness about stuttering.
Alan has traveled extensively to fulfill speaking engagements (and facilitate workshops) on three different continents, including a keynote speech at the 7th World Congress for People Who Stutter, held in Australia in 2004 (where he also won the individual oratory competition in which every continent was represented).
Listen in to our engaging conversation laced with humor, insight, and the universal issues of acceptance and change. We even get to listen to Alan share a poem!
Learn more about Alan from two of his many papers: How Beliefs and Self-Image Can Influence Stuttering and Two Things I Wish I’d Had Known About Stuttering When I was Younger.
The podcast safe music used in this episode is credited to DanoSongs. Please leave feedback. I need to know if you enjoyed this conversation and would like to hear more stories with men who stutter.
Shiny Eyes On Stage
Posted on: June 1, 2011
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Tonight is our awards night at school, an event that has brought conflicting emotions for me over the last four years. As some may recall, the first time I facilitated this ceremony, my boss criticized me the next morning for “butchering” the kids names. I had, in fact, stuttered. That comment stung, and obviously I have remembered it.
As advisor for the National Technical Honor Society, I facilitate the induction ceremony, which includes speaking from a script, introducing speakers and calling students names as they receive their certificates. I have long gotten over the nervousness and anxiety of this “performance”. Last year, I even advertised using humor about my stuttering, to put both me and the audience at ease.
But, it is still tough to be on stage speaking into a microphone. Reading from a script and calling out names is my most challenging stuttering situation. I stutter more, for whatever reason.
I worry if I don’t advertise in some way that parents will think I am mis-pronouncing their kids’ names. And I don’t want that perception. Names are important. For some of these students, this may be the first ever award they are receiving.
During rehearsals with the students last week, I told them all I stutter and that I may stutter more than usual up on the stage using a microphone. They were fine with my disclosure. I was glad I did it!
My biggest concern for tonight is that I will get choked up on stage. This may be the last Honor Society ceremony that I will lead for the school. I have been informed that my current job is being abolished. I will either be doing something else within the school or unemployed at month’s end.
So it will be bittersweet for me tonight. I know I will do fine and represent the school and students well. It will be a beautiful candle lighting ceremony, solemn and emotional. Even in ordinary times, it is easy to get caught up in the emotional moments and feel the joy and pride of the students.
I will surely feel joy for the students, and sadness that it may be my last time presiding over this. Things change, times change, people change. My emotions run pretty consistent though, and it is hard for me to hide them any more.
So there is a good chance my eyes will be shiny tonight, for more than one reason. A bittersweet moment that will become another memory for me.
Episode 57 features Julia Ammon, who hails from Essex, England, which is about an hour from London. Julia is originally from Ormond-By-The Sea, Florida. She moved to the UK because she married a Brit and it was easier for her to move. Classic girl meets boy and moves far away!
Julia currently works as the Fund Raiser for the British Stammering Association, which is a charity (or non-profit as we call it in the US). She is the sole fund-raiser, and manages all of the ways that the BSA is supported.
Julia explains how she came to take this job, as it is challenging work that she was ready for. She had previously been at a temp job, that did not require much talking and she felt she was limiting herself.
Listen is an as we chat about family support, early speech therapy experiences in school, and how she learned about the McGuire therapy programme.
Julia’s mother-in-law suggested that Julia try The McGuire Programme after hearing about the success that UK singer-songwriter Gareth Gates had with it. Gates has talked about his stuttering publicly and is now a speech coach with McGuire.
We also chat about how Julia met her husband, which is a great story. They met on-line, long before internet dating became so popular . They had a long-distance relationship for 6 years before marrying. We conclude our great conversation by chatting about “being content”, making choices, and acceptance.
The podcast safe music “Echoed” used in this episode is credited to ccMixter. Please be sure to leave comments for Julia if you wish, or me! Feedback is a gift!
Getting Wet
Posted on: May 26, 2011
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I have been in Toastmasters for five years. To say it has been a great experience would be an understatement. Toastmasters values and supports individual growth and thereby fosters courage and confidence. I am proof of that!
Having a safe environment to practice different speaking situations and know that people actually want you to succeed is priceless. We don’t find this everywhere.
Workplaces can be intimidating. They may encourage you to “speak up” but sometimes an employee is fearful of the consequences of doing so. In our communities, it can be tough to be heard as well, especially if you are the “new kid on the block” or you are not a social butterfly!
And if you stutter, all of these situations can be even scarier. But Toastmasters welcomes and encourages every member to build on strengths we already have and work towards personal and professional goals. It is a non-threatening environment where members simply support each another. Sometimes, we “nudge” each other a bit as well!
I have not done any planned speeches since last summer. I have been focusing on other things and mentoring a new member. That’s also part of Toastmasters – paying it forward and passing along what has helped us to the next person. I take meeting roles and enthusiastically participate whenever I can.
At this week’s meeting, a person was to be Toastmaster of the meeting for the first time. She was a little nervous, had spent a week emailing members, getting bios together and planning. She really wanted to do well. (I suspect she is a bit of a perfectionist like me!) There were two planned speakers on the agenda. Both backed out at the last minute.
While we were waiting for the meeting to start, I mentioned that some Toastmasters talk about have “back-pocket” speeches that they can do anytime. I half-jokingly mentioned that maybe we might have to do that at our meeting. Well, our Toastmaster Annette called my bluff and asked if I would give an impromptu speech. How could I say no!
So, with only seconds to prepare, I rose to the challenge, walked up to the lectern and delivered a 7 minute speech called, “When It Rains, Get Wet”. I talked about living life to its fullest and shared the personal experience of having participated in my first team 5K walk last week. Something I never thought I could do. Something way out of my comfort zone!
Unbelievably, it seemed like one of my better speeches. I was comfortable, relaxed, animated. People commented on that in the written feedback slips we give to each other after anyone speaks. And when I finished, another member volunteered to give his second ever speech, off the cuff. Talk about risk-taking.
I share this for a reason. I was always afraid to take risks, especially speaking risks. I always feared that I would be judged as incompetent, just because I stutter. But I have learned that sometimes the best lessons are taught when we just let go and do it.
I have to share some of the feedback I got after my impromptu speech. It was so gratifying and affirming. I allowed these comments in and gave myself permission to feel good!
“Smooth, fun story, nice build-up, happy ending, a lot of fun.”
“Amazing speech! I felt your joy when you crossed the finish line. You inspired me to take a risk!”
“Great! Wonderful personal story! Engaging topic, excellent delivery.”
“Pam, you are the ultimate risk-taker! Are you sure this wasn’t planned? I wish I could be as confident as you. You did an awesome job. Great body movement and non-verbal cues. You totally rock!”
Normally, I would be adverse to share compliments like this. I often feel embarrassed. I know why – I used to feel I didn’t deserve to be told I do/did a good job!
But taking this huge risk felt great and proved that good things happen when we go way outside our comfort zone. People keep telling me to share these really good things, so I just did!
Make Room For The Stuttering 
What people are saying!