Author Archive
Changing The Way We Speak
Posted on: June 15, 2018
I came across something in the “Notes” section of my phone from three years ago. I obviously felt it was important enough to write down. I’m not sure what lead me to read it again this week, but it really spoke to me.
“For years, we have gone to speech therapy to change the way we speak to make it more comfortable for others. We shouldn’t have to do that anymore.”
This brought back memories of when I participated in speech therapy for the first time as an adult about ten years ago. It was traditional fluency shaping therapy with the goal of changing the way I spoke. I greatly resisted this, without even knowing I was resisting!
I found it hard to learn the “targets” and even harder to demonstrate them. It felt mechanical and clinical and I couldn’t figure out why this wasn’t working for me. I also began to feel like I was failing and I wasn’t used to failing at anything. The harder I tried to “shape my speech differently” the more I failed to do so.
Finally, I realized that the reason I wasn’t succeeding with using fluency targets was because I didn’t want to use them. I felt like creating a different way to speak really just made me covert again. And more importantly, it felt like creating a different way to speak was more for the benefit of others than for me. It seemed like I was working at changing my speech so that listeners wouldn’t be uncomfortable and so that I wouldn’t have to explain why my speech was different than the norm.
People had told me I should try to be fluent when going for job interviews and giving presentations at work. But inside, I felt like that was taking my voice away, and I had been taking my own voice and hiding it away for years. This was the beginning of my personal realization that I didn’t want or need to be fixed and that I didn’t need to conform to be like everybody else.
We don’t need to make people feel more comfortable when listening to stuttering. We all need to just be patient and present communication partners.
Have you ever considered why you participated in speech therapy? A friend recently mentioned that his employer “made him” attend speech therapy sessions because a client was having difficulty with his stuttering. Thoughts?
Those Magic Moments – Episode 178
Posted on: June 5, 2018
Episode 178 features return guest Annie Bradberry, who hails from Corona, California. Annie is the Executive Director of a non-profit, former Executive Director of the National Stuttering Association and current Chair of the International Stuttering Association.
She is married almost 30 years to husband Bob and is loving her newest role as grandma to three. And today is Annie’s birthday. What a great way to celebrate by hearing what she’s been up to recently. Happy Birthday Annie!
Listen in as we talk about the sense of purpose Annie has that fuels her sustained involvement in the stuttering community. We discuss a recent opportunity she had to meet with some elementary school kids that stutter. And we also discuss a local TV program that Annie filmed about stuttering, along with two other people who stutter. The program, called Lifestyle Magazine, will air in October.
Finally, we discuss two upcoming keynote opportunities for Annie – one for the NSA conference in Chicago and one for the Joint World Congress for People Who Stutter and Clutter, in Hiroshima, Japan, both in July. And we wrap up with talking about struggling with small talk and how that can be so challenging for people who stutter.
The music used in today’s episode is credited to ccMixter.
Woman On A Mission – Episode 177
Posted on: May 22, 2018
Episode 177 features Claire Norman who hails from London, UK. Claire is 26 years old and keeps very busy. She works as an intelligence analyst in fraud prevention and is studying for her Masters degree in counter fraud and corruption studies.
She also founded and directs S.T.U.C. which stands for Stammerers Through University Consultancy. Based on her own poor experience with the disability support office at her university, Claire has organized partnerships with 16 universities in the UK that are now equipped to help students and staff that stammer. Her initiative is four years old. It’s amazing what a difference one person can make. If you are interested in helping Claire with the S.T.U.C. initiative, reach out to her on her Facebook page, or on Twitter @STUC_UK or Instagram stuc_stammer.
Listen in as Claire discusses how she has organized these partnerships and the work she does to provide resources and support. We also discuss the extensive support networks for people who stammer in the UK and how Claire has spread awareness of S.T.U.C. through the stammering community.
The music clip used in today’s episode is credited to ccMixter.
This Short Film Speaks Volumes
Posted on: May 17, 2018
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This wonderful piece by film maker Luke Collins hit YouTube this week and is circulating through the stuttering community. It is receiving high marks. The film exquisitely captures the intimidation and panic that a person who stutters feels and imagines.
I commented on the piece on YouTube and the film maker responded back. He is pleased that people who stutter think this is authentic representation. I asked him why he didn’t portray the character himself. He said he didn’t feel he has the “acting chops.” He also shared that directing the actor was an interesting way to explore the process that he experiences. Kudos to Luke for sharing a piece that people who stutter can all relate to.
Talking And Talking And Talking
Posted on: May 14, 2018
Well, last week was a very busy one for me. Like I mentioned in my last post, I had several opportunities to talk about stuttering and hopefully raise awareness in my little corner of the world.
Last Monday, I was a guest on a local media production’s podcast where they interviewed me about stuttering. They sent me the link a few days later and I was really happy with how it turned out. The interviewers had done some prior research and asked me some great questions. Take a listen if you’d like. (Although that is an awful picture of me! Ugh!)
On Wednesday, I had the chance to “tell” my story at a 25th anniversary celebration of the Interfaith Story Circle, which is a local group here in Albany, New York that focuses on the power of storytelling. I was so delighted to have my story about women who stutter sharing their stories included in their celebration event.
And on Thursday last week, my podcast was featured on one of our local news channel’s segments highlighting women. That was such an exciting experience, as being on TV is a big deal, at least to me anyway. Fortunately, I was more photogenic in this clip here.
http://wnyt.com/news/pamela-mertz-podcast-for-women-who-stutter/4902733/?cat=11883
Stuttering Awareness Week 2018
Posted on: May 7, 2018
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Hey everyone! It’s that time of year again! Here in the United States, it’s National Stuttering Awareness Week. In fact, it’s the 30th anniversary of this special week. In 1988, the second week in May was declared as National Stuttering Awareness Week.
Two individuals that were involved in what was then the National Stuttering Project (NSP) were the driving force behind making this happen. Paul Castellano and Barbara Hubbard Koval, with the support of their NSP chapter, pitched the idea to their local Congress members in 1986. Eighteen months later, in 1988, President Ronald Reagan signed the proclamation making the second week in May National Stuttering Awareness Week and it’s been commemorated every year since then.
While I believe that every day should be used to raise awareness for stuttering, this week is a great opportunity to talk about stuttering to people who don’t stutter and try to get some media attention to bring it into the spotlight. Many people involved in what is now the National Stuttering Association (NSA) contact the media to get people talking about stuttering. Here are some good ideas from the NSA on what you could do!
I am really psyched that I have two media opportunities this week. Tonight I am going to The Sanctuary For Independent Media which is local for me and will be a guest on their live podcast. I am excited that they were interested enough to bring someone on to talk about stuttering.
Tomorrow morning, I will be interviewed by a local TV reporter for a segment on her Today’s Women which airs weekly on the local evening news. The piece will run on Thursday evening. I was a guest on her show seven years ago, and she is doing a follow-up with me about stuttering in general and the growth of my podcast. I’m definitely excited.
What can you do to raise awareness about stuttering?
Stuttering Live On Stage
Posted on: April 30, 2018
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I had the amazing experience to interview Nina G, a stuttering stand up comedian this past Friday night on stage after she performed her routine. Nina has been featured several times on my Women Who Stutter podcast and has numerous YouTube videos showcasing her comedy and disability rights activism.
When Nina told me she had booked a gig at the University at Albany, right in my backyard, I was excited to get to see her and immediately planned for that weekend. But then Nina let me know that she wanted me to interview her live for my podcast. I was beyond excited but also naturally nervous.
A few days before Nina’s performance, we spoke by phone to map out a game plan for Friday’s show. Nina shared that it was her plan to have me live interview her on stage as part of the performance. I had not figured on that. I thought I would just be interviewing her after the show. So, I prepared some questions that I hoped would generate good discussion and crossed my fingers.
Well, Friday’s performance was a huge success. There were well over 100 people in the audience and people stayed for the whole show! There were several people who stutter in the audience as well, which was really fun.
Nina performed her comedy routine for about 30 minutes and then invited me on stage for the interview segment. Oh my gosh, it went great. We played off each other and had great dialogue going on. We recorded the audio and hopefully I will be able to use it for a future podcast episode. Nina also video recorded most of it as well.
It was such a great experience. I had never done anything like that before and it was such an adrenaline rush to be up on stage with Nina. After the interview segment, Nina invited me to remain on stage with her as she entertained questions.
After the show, a group of us went to dinner, including the two college students we met who stutter, as well as two other friends who stutter. Six of us closed a local restaurant and talked and laughed for several hours.
Thank you so much, Nina G for inviting me and including me in your show. We did a lot of educating Friday night and helped normalize stuttering.
Explore Your Options -Episode 176
Posted on: April 18, 2018
Episode 176 features Lisa Wilder, who hails from Toronto, Canada. Lisa has been involved with the Canadian Stuttering Association for about 11 years. She prefers behind the scenes work and thus enjoys serving as the webmaster for the CSA.
Listen in as we discuss the goals and vision of the Canadian Stuttering Association, it’s annual conference held in October and how the CSA is essentially a labor of love for those involved.
We also discuss speech therapy, keeping up on research and new ideas in the field of therapy, and how change in attitude and mindset is often more of a game changer than actually focusing on speech strategies.
We also talk about the importance of not caring so much about what other people may think about your speech and looking at options if you think stuttering is holding you back.
The music used in today’s episode is credited to ccMixter.
Sharing Our Stories
Posted on: April 16, 2018
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Recently, I had another opportunity to speak to a master’s level fluency class about my experiences with stuttering. Good friend Jill had asked me to guest lecture to the class and cover the piece on covert stuttering.
I always enjoy doing this. I know many other persons who stutter are invited and take the opportunity to share our stories with the people who will be working with us in the future. It’s critical that future therapists understand stuttering from the perspective of someone who has stuttered all their life. You can’t fully understand the stuttering experience just by reading about it.
I found myself talking to the students just briefly about my journey with stuttering, and how essentially I overcame the fears of stuttering to transition from covert to overt. I spent more time talking about lessons I had learned when I was in therapy as an adult and what I thought are the most important things for SLP students to focus on when working with people who stutter covertly.
I talked about being sure that the therapist is treating the right thing. When I was in therapy, I did not want to learn about techniques that would hide my stutter and make me sound more fluent. I needed to stutter, after hiding it for so many years. Understanding what the client needs and wants is crucial for successful therapy. Not everyone is looking for fluency. Many people who stutter want to work on acceptance and have someone affirm for them that stuttering is indeed OK.
I think tomorrow’s therapists really need to wrap their head around that today.
Lipstick Warriors – Episode 175
Posted on: April 3, 2018
Episode 175 features return guest Rachel Hoge, who hails from Springfield, Tennessee. Rachel was a guest here in 2011, when she was 19 and in college for her undergraduate degree. She returns now, at 26, with her Masters of Fine Arts in creative writing. You can check out her first podcast, Untamed Tongue.
Rachel now has a full-time job as a Production Book Editor and she writes freelance on the side. Her eventual goal is to write a book on the intersection of stuttering and gender. In this episode, we discuss the perspectives of women who stutter in the context of several beautiful essays that Rachel published recently.
Listen in as we discuss how her articles on stuttering helped her transition into a new workplace, as her articles were shared with her team. She didn’t really need to “come out” at work as the team already knew her thoughts on her stuttering. We also discuss how Rachel gets her ideas for her pieces and how she pitches them to editors.
We talk about self-expression and embracing self as a woman who stutters through the lens of her piece, Lipstick Highlights My Stutter, But I’ll Never Stop Wearing It.
And we talk about how our perspective as women who stutter has value, even though society may not recognize that yet. Rachel shares that most women who stutter are warriors, initially misunderstood and overlooked, but now forces to be reckoned with. See her provocative piece on silencing women, What Do You Call a Woman With A Speech Disability? Invisible.
We also discuss the National Stuttering Association and the importance of community.
I absolutely loved this conversation with Rachel, as we delved into the very soul and purpose of this podcast. I am delighted to see how Rachel is gaining visibility through her writing and thus shines a light on women’s issues as we manage stuttering in a fluent world.
Music used in today’s show owes to ccMixter.
Things Can Change – Episode 174
Posted on: March 27, 2018
Episode 174 features Tiffani Kittilstved who hails from Seattle, Washington. Tiffani just completed her clinical fellowship year to become officially licensed as a SLP. She works in private practice and has a caseload that includes about 20 kids who stutter. Tiffani is also actively involved in the stuttering community.
Tiffani leads a family chapter of the National Stuttering Association in Seattle and is also involved with FRIENDS. She is organizing a one-day FRIENDS conference to be held in April, also in Seattle.
Listen in as we talk about the journey Tiffani has had to become a SLP. She had a rocky road in college, first starting out as pre-med and then realizing that she didn’t really like it. Tiffani realized she liked neuroscience and wanted to do something that involved stuttering. She switched majors to SLP and after her first class, the chair of the department told her she should quit, because parents would never want to work with her because of her stuttering.
She tells her story of deciding to pursue graduate school for SLP and doing a lot of research on “stuttering friendly universities.” They are out there!
And we talk about covert stuttering, offering hope and empowerment to parents of kids who stutter, and the importance of counseling in good therapy. Fun fact about Tiffani – she has a twin brother and they both stuttered, but he recovered.
This was such a fun conversation with a very inspiring young woman who stutters. I am looking forward to meeting Tiffani in person in July at the annual NSA conference.
The music used in today’s episode is credited to ccMixter.
What Would You Do?
Posted on: March 6, 2018
I came across a post in one of the stuttering forums written by a young man who shared that his assistant manager at work has been blatantly mocking his stuttering. This has occurred in front of other co-workers and sometimes in front of customers as well.
The young man wrote that he’s talked to the owner in an attempt to get some assistance. He feels the owner can only do so much as the assistant manager doesn’t do the mocking in front of the owner.
He is considering contacting someone at the corporate level to ask for help in getting the harassment to stop. He worries that may be “too much” and asks if there is anything else that could be done.
I feel for this person. It is utterly disrespectful to be mocked at work by a manager. I remember when this happened to me, many years ago, before I was fired from my job because of stuttering. My director would laugh, slap his face and roll his eyes when I stuttered during meetings. He had no problem doing this in front of others. I felt embarrassed and ashamed and helpless to stop him, as he, after all, was a director and an authority figure. He was also a big guy and I honestly always felt intimidated by him.
I didn’t do anything when he harassed me. I just sucked it up and wound up feeling like crap and let negative self-talk take up space in my head. When I left meetings after such ridicule and disrespect, I would go to a bathroom and cry and then compose myself.
Now, years later, after finding support and empowerment through support organizations such as the National Stuttering Association, I have learned to advocate and stand up for myself. I would feel OK to let an offender know that it is unacceptable workplace behavior and I would attempt to educate about stuttering. I would also not hesitate to involve Human Resource staff so that they too could take steps to eliminate a hostile work environment.
Not everyone is in that place to stand up and confront harassment. You really have to have reached a place of acceptance and self-actualization in your journey in order to advocate for yourself.
So, what would you do? How would you handle this if it was you? What advice might you offer someone facing this type of behavior at work?
I’d love your thoughts.
Episode 173 is a departure from the usual format of this podcast. I am excited to bring you a wonderful conversation with four individuals who are helping to organize the first ever Joint World Congress for stuttering and cluttering. This inaugural conference will be held this summer from July 13-16, 2018 in Hiroshima, Japan. It’s a “must attend” event.
Today’s episode features Annie Bradberry, who stutters and is the Chair of the International Stuttering Association (ISA.) Joining her is Kirsten Howells, representing the International Fluency Association (IFA.) Kirsten, a British trained SLP, also stutters and represents the covert stuttering community. We have Susie Cook, a SLP, who is the Chair elect of the International Cluttering Association (ICA.) And last but not least, we have “honorary” woman Charley Adams, who is a SLP and current chair of the ICA.
These heavy weights in the fluency disorder community come together to share some of the highlights of the upcoming Joint World Congress and they, along with Japanese associations, have all collaborated to ensure this event has something for everyone.
Listen in as we chat about the visions of the three different organizations, which strive to improve the quality of life of the people they serve. We talk about how the vision for this sprung from David Shapiro’s work to bring the organizations together, with the idea that together, they are strong. We talk about what each individual, as an attendee of the conference, is most looking forward to about going to Japan.
For good measure, we also discuss disk golfing, revolutionary war re-enactments, polar explorations and a stellar bungee jump opportunity.
This is a “don’t miss” episode if you are thinking about, or planning to attend this first of it’s kind opportunity in Japan this summer. You’ll find everything you need to know to plan an unforgettable adventure. Please feel free to leave feedback or questions. We’d love to hear from you.
A Plethora Of Misinformation
Posted on: February 23, 2018
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I am one of the administrators of the Facebook group “Stuttering Community.” There are over 8000 members from all over the world. People use the group for various reasons. Most people come for support. Many are looking for information about stuttering and just as many are looking for quick fixes.
As an administrator, I occasionally see posts that are inappropriate and need to be removed. But largely, the group goes uncensored and people are free to post what they want. We do have basic ground rules that all people are expected to read and follow. They’re pretty common – no talk of politics, religion or sex. Those are pretty much the big three that we ask people to refrain from. It’s a virtual stuttering support group and we try to keep things relevant to stuttering.
We get people who share success stories and frustrations. People then post words of encouragement and share their own stories. We’ve had people post videos as well, which really is a testament to how supported people feel in the group.
One of the trends has always been that people ask all kinds of questions about stuttering causes, treatment, management, support and cures. It’s always interesting to see how many people are really misinformed about stuttering. People come into the group with very little prior factual knowledge and appear to not be doing any research from the many reputable online resources out there.
Utilize those resources. There’s the National Stuttering Association, the Stuttering Foundation, the International Stuttering Association and the British Stammering Association, to name a few. It’s really important to not trust all of the information that you get from people in a Facebook group. People are often perpetuating myths that have long been debunked. There’s a lot of research available to show that stuttering has a neurological and genetic base and that it’s not simply a bad habit that we can break like biting our fingernails.
Social media is here to stay and it’s wonderful that people are finding support in these virtual stuttering communities. But don’t trust everything you read on the internet. People have good intentions but often are misinformed.
Stutter Friendly Workplaces
Posted on: February 9, 2018
I recently got an email from someone wondering if a list exists of workplaces that are “stutter friendly.” Those are my choice of words. The person emailing me described such a workplace as “not scared” to hire someone who stutters and that wouldn’t look down negatively on the stuttering.
I am not aware of such a list but one might readily exist that we could generate just by asking people who stutter where they work. People who stutter who are employed are already in workplaces that have shown that they are not scared of stuttering and value the person’s skills and contributions more than they worry about stuttering.
The person who reached out indicated that she has been looking for work for over two years and can’t get past the interview phase. She believes it’s because of her stuttering. I pondered how to reply to her. She is an IT Engineer so definitely has skills and abilities that make her employable.
I have no list of “stutter friendly” workplaces that I can just forward her. I wanted to be encouraging and helpful so I asked her where she lives and what types of jobs she’s been applying to. I’m hoping she’ll reply back and maybe I will know someone in her field and in her geographic area that might be able to point her to a good job lead with an employer who values both skills and diversity.
It would be really cool if the National Stuttering Association (NSA) could develop a network of employers in the United States who are “stutter friendly” for just these kinds of situations. In my work as a member of the Board of the NSA, I am leading an initiative on employment advocacy which focuses on helping people who stutter manage communication either during job search or after getting the job.
We’re doing some exciting things like offering mock interviews, one-on-one consultations to discuss workplace stuttering and we’re sponsoring a series of webinars on stuttering more successfully at work.
A long-term vision of mine includes having an Employer Stuttering Network where employers would “sign on” with the NSA as “stutter friendly” workplaces. I have thought about this since before I officially took my current role on the NSA Board. I think it can happen, but people would need to be willing to acknowledge that they stutter and share where they work. People who stutter obviously make great employees.
I am going to follow-up with this person who emailed me and try to find a workplace or two in her area that won’t be “scared” to talk to someone who stutters.
Wish me luck!
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