Archive for July 2011
Blown Away – Episode 62
Posted on: July 29, 2011
Episode 62 features Cynthia Scace who hails from Greenfield, Massachusetts. Cyn has been a caseworker for an elder and disabled services agency for 25 years.
Cynthia shares her entry into the stuttering community, when her then 3-year-old son showed signs of stuttering. A life-long stutterer, her first reaction was panic and fear. She wished her child could have any other disability but stuttering.
Cynthia researched and found the virtual support group, Stutt-L. She became actively involved, made new friends and learned new perspectives. A year later, in 1997, she attended her first NSA conference.
This episode packs a punch. We talk about Cynthia’s journey of finding peace for herself and her son, who is now 17 years old.
Listen in as we discuss childhood stuttering, negative therapy experiences, shame and acceptance, NSA and FRIENDS. Stuttering is now a positive part of Cynthia’s identity. Cynthia is very open as she relates how people have reacted to her struggled stuttering, bringing up stuttering, passive intervention and covert stuttering.
To my delight, Cynthia also shares how she began a NSA chapter with local people, including the late Marty Jezer, who wrote the wonderful book, Stuttering: A Life Bound Up In Words. Jezer’s book was the first I ever read about stuttering. I have loaned it out several times and always make sure I get it back!
Credit for the podcast safe music used in this episode goes to Dano Songs.
I invite you to leave comments. Feedback is a gift!
Their First NSA Conference
Posted on: July 27, 2011
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My Flip digital recorder was a great tool to have with me at the 2011 NSA Conference. When I realized that first-timers had been asked to sum up their experiences at the closing ceremonies, I pressed the record button.
It is so empowering to hear people express how moving and significant it is to participate in the stuttering community for the first time. Both Katie and Dustin indeed did that – they both helped to facilitate workshops too! I could not have done that at my first conference!
Listen and watch as Katie and Dustin sum up their conference experiences, in their own words and their own voices. They have made room for the stuttering. Have you?
(I did receive permission from both Katie and Dustin to post this clip on the blog, in case you’re wondering!)
Please leave comments here for either or both, so everyone who tunes in to this blog can see them. Not everyone hangs out on Facebook!
What We Took Away – Episode 61
Posted on: July 22, 2011
Episode 61 is a first for me. This is the first time I have recorded with several women at different times and attempted (notice I say attempted) to string the clips together into one cohesive episode. Here’s where we will separate the professionals from the amateurs. I am definitely in the latter category!
I started my journey with pod-casting saying that if producing these episodes became too much like work, I would quit. I have always tried to keep the episodes as simple as possible. That has not been hard to do, given my limited audio tech skills.
Sharing the unique stories of women who stutter continues to be very special for me, and I love to do it. So even trying something new did not scare me off.
This episode features three women who all were previous guests. We chat about their experiences at the recent National Stuttering Association conference. One woman attended for her first time, and the other two attended their second conferences. All three share their thoughts, reflections and take home lessons.
This was a great way for us to process this shared experience. Although it was a shared experience, it impacted each woman differently. Listen in as I chat with Anna Margolina, Nina Zito and Sarah Bryant. We talk a little bit about a lot of things, but mainly how it feels to attend a conference where stuttering is the norm.
Thanks to all three of you for taking the time to share your thoughts and reminding us all how special it is to come together as a stuttering community.
The podcast safe music used in today’s episode is credited to ccMixter.
Texan Stuttering At It’s Best
Posted on: July 19, 2011
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I am so glad I had my trusty Flip recorder with me when Vicki Schutter got up to speak at one of the general sessions at the National Stuttering Association conference. Vicki tells an incredible story of selflessness and support about her good friend Russ Hicks, a long time NSA member.
Watch and listen as Vicki’s story unfolds, and then how Russ reacts.
Being part of the stuttering community means more than just stuttering support. It also means behind-the-scenes acts of love and support for the relationships that are built among people. For that’s what we really celebrate in the stuttering community – the relationships!
This story moved me, for many reasons! I hope it moves you too!
A Few More Workshop Reflections
Posted on: July 18, 2011
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Here are several more workshop summaries from the 100 workshops that were available to choose from and attend last weekend at the National Stuttering Association conference in Ft Worth, Texas. Having people share their take-away points is important.
As promised, Anna shares her reflections on two more workshops she attended. It’s a good thing my volunteer writers attended different workshops, so we could provide this feedback.
Dr. Baker’s Speech – Treatment Innovations and Journey of Hope presented by Robert Baker Ph.D.
Anna writes: “Dr. Baker, a child psychologist, was once a PWS, but recovered using a theory called “British Object Relations”. Now perfectly fluent and confident, he uses play therapy and this theory to help young kids who stutter. He calls himself “a messenger of hope”. Unfortunately, his explanations of the method and the theory itself were very vague.
I was able to make some sense of his workshop, because of my experience with NLP sessions, and because of my extensive reading on the subject of the subconscious mind and its problems. Judging from audience reactions however, this workshop left many people confused and puzzled, if not annoyed and angry. One PWS in the audience was particularly annoyed by Dr. Baker’s approach and loudly cautioned parents not to “trust just any wacky treatment” only because someone benefited from it. I wasn’t sure about it either.
I am sure glad my parents tried everything from traditional speech therapy to hypnosis and even incantations from a “village witch”. Yet, beside Dr. Baker, I never met a PWS who would say that it was “Object Relation therapy” that helped him or her.”
Going Beyond Stammering with Confidence presented by Maria McGrath.
Anna writes: “Paddy will pick me up after school”, little Maria said to the other kids. Except that she wanted to say Daddy and couldn’t say “D”. Since Paddy was her cow, the kids laughed mercilessly at this mistake. When she graduated from college, she had difficult time finding jobs. She was a good accountant, but had to decline or leave all jobs that required speaking. Now she is fluent… Well, not quite.
Maria told her story in a clear, strong voice with no signs of stuttering. She is a McGuire graduate, who puts a lot of time and effort into mastering the special technique that allowed her to gain fluency. “I still stutter, and I know I will never be able to speak like other people, but I am working on becoming a better speaker every day” says she in her controlled voice. To me it was interesting that the first time she went to McGuire program, she relapsed quickly and resumed her stuttering. Her second time she realized that she needs to change internally as well. This time the success was lasting.”
Thanks Anna (see Anna in action here delivering a speech) for sharing these terrific reflections. It gives others a taste of what they missed.
My friend Alex shares his surprising reflections on the keynote address by Neal Jeffrey.
Alex writes: “The workshop that moved me most was one that I didn’t expect. I was a little skeptical about the Neal Jeffrey workshop, although the NSA all-stars who spoke before him were incredibly inspiring. You can never hear enough stories of people who stutter prevailing and overcoming some of the negatives that we all seem to face.
My skepticism came from reading the bio of Neal in the NSA program, where it mentioned all of his accolades: college quarterback, NFL quarterback, minister, and motivational speaker. Nowhere in the bio did it mention he stutters, so naturally I was unsure how he would be able to relate to us. The first thing he said in his speech was that he is in fact a person who stutters, and right away, he captured my attention.
I do not have a very religious background and although I certainly do respect all those who choose to follow whatever religion they choose, I was blown away by how inspiring this man was. I came away from the session feeling more empowered to be a great person than I ever thought possible.
With the amount of volunteer work I do, the profession I am going into (Speech-language pathology), and my passion for fitness and helping others achieve their fitness goals, one might think that I am already empowered to do great things with my time here on earth. Well, to my surprise, I felt like jumping out of my chair and screaming “AMEN” at certain points throughout his speech. He instilled a greater sense of pride and passion for being a PWS which was amazing for me and I’m sure everyone else in the room.
I really felt as though he made a connection with everyone in the room. Maybe I’m so grateful for this experience because I was not expecting it in the least. He has certainly made a lasting impact in my life.”
Thanks so much Alex for sharing this honest and insightful reflection.
I want to add one more thought. I attended one of the Open Mic sessions, which are offered throughout the conference. I try to get to at least one every year. I was so inspired by how many first-time attendees were willing to stand-up and share something with the group, whether it be why they were there or just saying their name.
These personal testimonies always move me to tears, and this years was no exception! The session I attended was on the first afternoon, hosted by my friend Bernie Weiner!
Paradox Of Feelings
Posted on: July 17, 2011
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Philip Garber is such an inspirational young man. He wrote this poem, Paradox of Feelings, and shared it at the closing ceremony of the NSA 2011 Conference in Ft Worth, Texas. He concludes with stating simply, “I am so happy I stutter.”
Philip and his mom, Marin, were two of the first people I saw during my recent journey to The Lone Star state. Turns out, Philip, his mom, and another inspirational young man, Jared Gilman,and I were all on the same flight from Newark, NJ to Dallas-Ft Worth, Texas.
I recognized Philip right away in the airport, due to his hat. That’s why I offer my “hat’s off” to Philip in this video clip. I am so glad I captured this. (He gave me permission to post here!)
400th Post! NSA Workshop Summaries
Posted on: July 16, 2011
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Here are summaries from some workshops presented at this year’s National Stuttering Association annual conference recently held in Texas!
I am also gratified to have reached a milestone. This is my 400th post since starting this blog in February 2009!
There were so many workshops to choose from at the same time. It’s almost unfair to have to choose. So I asked fellow attendees to summarize some of the best workshops they attended. Helps me, helps you, helps all.
You Are Changed By What You Do: “Shame-Busting” Through Avoidance Reduction Therapy. This was the most powerful workshop for me, led by Vivian Sisskin. She and several people that participate in her therapy groups led us through how to reduce shame by learning to face our fears and re-define success and progress. I listened to Vivian speak last year and became fascinated with her approach to avoidance reduction.
Shame was always my biggest issue, and learning even to identify that is hugely empowering. I have read several books on shame reduction and shame resilience over the last year as well, that has helped me move toward more acceptance of my feelings and emotions.
My friend Brandon shares his take away points from two workshops that resonated with him.
Release Fear, presented by Zaheen Nanji and NSA Career All-Stars, presented by Beth Bienvenu, Jim McClure, Tracey Wallace, Gregg Benedikt, and John Moore.
Brandon writes, “As I find myself looking for a new career opportunity I realized that the work place is my final frontier. From experience in working outside my comfort zone, I know what needs to be done but wanted to hear it from others that are doing it. The Release Fear workshop turned the abstract concept of “facing what you fear to create change” into a logical evaluation to expose the cost of making or not making the change. This workshop helped me to see that some discomfort now while facing challenging speaking situations will lead to a more open and balanced life in the future.”
He goes on to share, “Do you remember growing up thinking, “Damn, am I the only one that stutters?” Then you find an organization like the NSA and know you are not alone. Witnessing a person stuttering in the workplace is like a Bigfoot sighting for me. It is exciting and a bit scary depending on how far away I am from it.
I still feel I have one foot stuck in the mud with regard to the workplace, so I was excited to hear from the NSA Career Stars. Hearing first hand from these successful people that stutter in the work environment took away a lot of the mystery I had built up around it.
I loved the slogan “Participation is the Price of Admission”. A few years back I realized that in order to be more at ease with stuttering I would need to take it to the street. Originally I was misled to think I could practice in hiding then put the show on for all to see. I realized I was just going to have to be ME!
One of the biggest changes I had to make was to start using the world as my practice. Hearing it again from one of the speakers pinpointing the workplace really hit home for me. The phrase “Participation is the Price of Admission” has many meanings for me. Regarding stuttering, it reinforces that I need to work my speech agenda step by step, speaking up and sharing my ideas and concerns, and interacting, all for the admission to a better more fulfilling life.”
Brandon – thanks so much for sharing these thoughts and how helpful these presentations were for you!
My friend Anna shares her thoughts on some workshops she attended. Anna was a first time attendee to the conference and also presented at the Toastmasters workshop! I have so much material here that I will include her two other summaries in my next post.
Laughter Yoga – The Fun Part of Everyday presented by Judith Newman.
Anna writes: “When was last time you really laughed? Not smiled, chuckled or giggled, but laughed, openly, heartily, loudly, without inhibitions? If you can’t remember, you should check out laughter yoga classes. As Judith explained, laughter is very beneficial to our body and our brain – so we should do it often. You can do it alone and your body won’t know the difference between a “fake” laugh and the real thing.
But it is easier to burst into open laughter in a group, under the guidance of a laughter Yoga leader. For 45 minutes we did silly exercises and laughed so hard, my insides started to hurt. Regarding stuttering, it is not a therapy. But laughing with all your might, while looking a stranger in the eye, is definitely something that I don’t do in my everyday life. To me it was very liberating. To my non-PWS husband – a bit too weird.”
Thanks Anna for taking the time to share these thoughts.
In my next post, I will have two more summaries from Anna, on Dr. Baker’s Speech – Treatment Innovations and Journey of Hope presented by Robert Baker Ph.D. and Going Beyond Stammering with Confidence presented by Maria McGrath (who has been a guest on this podcast).
And I will have a summary from Alex on his powerful thoughts on the keynote by Neal Jeffrey.
I also have a few live videos from the conference that I will post, once I have secured permission from those recorded. Feel free to leave comments, so that the folks who took the time to write these up, and me, know that you found it helpful.
Good Stuttering Stories
Posted on: July 12, 2011
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On the heels of the National Stuttering Association conference just completed in Ft Worth, Texas, there has been several good stories in the media. One was written by a first timer to the conference, and one features a long-time NSA member.
I had the pleasure of hearing Aman Kumar, a first-time attendee, speak at the Thursday afternoon Open Mic session. I always love open mic time, as it gives people the chance to speak freely – to take as long as they need, free of judgement and to sit down to wild applause by all listeners.
Turns out, Aman writes a blog for Psychology Today online, called Words Fail Me. His recent post, The Catharsis of Communicative Diversity, eloquently summarizes his first experience at a stuttering conference. You should definitely take the time to read this!
A good friend, Cynthia Scace, has been attending NSA conferences for years. I actually first met her at a College of St Rose Weekend Workshop for people who stutter. She missed last year’s conference, so it was so nice to see her this year and catch up, albeit for the short time we did. It is so hard to connect with all the people you really want to with over 800 people and only three full days!
Cynthia was featured in this great article in the Gazettenet, Approaches to therapy shifts with time, where she talks a bit about her stuttering experience and that of her son, who began stuttering at three years old.
Another great story appeared in the Gazettenet, featuring two young adults talking about their experiences navigating the world with a stutter. The writer, Suzanne Wilson, does a great job with both pieces. Check out this terrific story, Speaking Out: telling their stories helps people who stutter lessen their isolation.
Finally, here is a really good article from the Star-Telegram out of Ft Worth, Texas about David Seidler’s keynote speech at the NSA conference. Definitely take a look at this, Oscar-winning screenwriter who overcame stuttering delivers message of hope.
These are all good media pieces featuring real people who live life with stuttering everyday. Great to see so much coverage only days after the best attended conference yet. I still feel a bit on my high from such a great weekend, especially with meeting so many new people.
Stay tuned for summaries of some of the best workshops offered during the three-day conference. Since I can’t be in 10 workshops at once, I have enlisted the support of a few friends who graciously wrote up (or will) why these workshops so resonated with them.
Now I Understand
Posted on: July 11, 2011
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Me and David Seidler, Academy Award Screenplay writer of "The King's Speech"
Just got back from the annual National Stuttering Association conference in Ft Worth, Texas. It was a great weekend. Now that I have attended six consecutive conferences, I feel quite at home there and love recognizing old friends and meeting new ones so quickly.
Time after time, this weekend, I heard the phrase, “now I understand.” Even if you are meeting someone for the first time, you feel as if you already know each other because of the bond we share. That automatic feeling that the other person knows exactly what you are thinking and feeling, and that the shared experience of our unique difference is powerful.
I had a great conversation with a friend from my home town who was attending his first NSA conference. After meeting people and telling them where he was from, many asked if they knew me (which is hugely gratifying to feel known in this tight-knit community.) But my friend also mentioned that he finally understands how powerful being part of the stuttering community is, after only experiencing himself for 2 days.
He and I are in the same community here at home, yet I do not participate in any of the stuttering events at the local college that has an active program for people who stutter. I have deeply felt that void in my life, having a stuttering community right in my backyard that I do not feel a part of. My friend told me that now he really gets how powerful community is, after his own experience feeling embraced immediately by the NSA community.
I was glad to have shared that conversation with my friend, and many more deeply significant conversations and moments from this incredibly powerful four-day weekend with over 800 people who stutter or care about people who stutter.
Later in the week, I will provide an update of the three workshops I participated in as facilitator, and two other terrific sessions that I participated in. And I will share some of the best tidbits and moments from some of the unstructured activities that I participated in.
It was a deeply moving and emotional weekend for most attendees, especially me. I will have some pictures posted on Facebook, but couldn’t resist posting this one of myself posing with David Seidler, Academy Award winning screenplay writer for the stunning movie about stuttering, “The King’s Speech.”
Check back later in the week for some updates of the best moments.
Meeting New People
Posted on: July 7, 2011
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As I write this, I decided to schedule it for Thursday. By then, I will be in Ft Worth, Texas at the 2011 National Stuttering Association annual conference. Thursday morning, I am co-presenting a workshop with good friend Joe called “Bring Up The Stuttering.”
We will talk about why it is so important to talk about our stuttering and not be afraid to bring it up.
Afterwards, I hope to meet a LOT of people who stutter. Thursday will be the first full day of workshops and most people will be attending workshops, interacting with each other and meeting new people.
I saw on one of the email groups a question from a conference “first-timer.” He asked, “how do you meet people at a big conference like this?” He also said he felt kind of silly asking it, but had the guts to anyway. He mentioned he is shy and finds it hard to introduce himself to new people.
Here’s the best way! Walk up to someone you don’t know, especially if they are sitting alone, stick out your hand, and say, “Hi, my name is . . . . . and its great to meet you.” It’s that easy.
I plan to do a lot of that during my time at the conference. Meeting new people, hearing new stories and making new friends. That’s why I go to these conferences. I will be advertising in some way too. I have a couple of shirts that proclaim I stutter, that are unique, like me.
I will post next week on some of the highlights of the conference.
Episode 2 features Henryk Sarat, who hails from Chicago, Illinois. Henryk is 24 years old and recently completed his Master’s degree in Computer Science at the University of Chicago.
He worked as a trading software developer at a high-frequency trading firm and learned he wanted to create more of an impact so he became a tech entrepreneur. Henryk strives to lift the bar higher and take risks, create and inspire change. He has an entrepreneurial spirit and wants to create the next big thing that will change the world.
Listen in as we talk about how stuttering has impacted his life, positive attitude shift, inspiring change, and pushing out of our comfort zones. He also shares his experiences with speech therapy approaches and gaining confidence.
We have a great time getting to know each other in this conversation and focus on humor and not taking self too seriously.
Henryk is involved in Toastmasters and is actively involved in the global stuttering community. He created the site StutteringCommunity about 3 years ago to allow people to connect with each other via Skype.
Henryk attended his first NSA conference last year, and is planning to attend again this year in Ft Worth, Texas. I am looking forward to meeting Henryk in person this week in Texas and collecting my 22 and 1/2 hugs.
The music used in this episode is credited to ccMixter. Please feel free to leave comments. Feedback is a gift. (Episode recorded on June 30, 2011.)
Advertising My Stuttering
Posted on: July 1, 2011
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I am actively involved in the two major stuttering self-help communities here in the US, the National Stuttering Association (NSA) and FRIENDS. I have tried to give back and help out both organizations over the last few years, as both have had a profound impact on my life.
Since I am basically a “starving artist” type, its hard for me to make financial contributions. But I can give my time and volunteer, which I have done for both organizations.
This year for the NSA, I reached out and advertised my stuttering to 10 local businesses. I asked them to purchase an ad in the program for the upcoming conference and sent them information. I only heard back from 3 of them. I don’t think any actually purchased an ad! But I advertised!
For FRIENDS, I decided to actively sell raffle tickets for a prize that will be drawn at the July conference by David Seidler, the Academy Award winning screenplay writer for the movie “The King’s Speech”. By last week, I had sold 522 tickets! The raffle coordinator sent me another 10 booklets I requested, and I took them with me on errands I ran over the weekend.
I had about 4 booklets of tickets left when I stopped in the local grocery store on a Saturday night. I decided to advertise my stuttering at the customer service desk and ask employees if they would be interested in supporting efforts to help kids who stutter.
A funny thing happened!
I used some voluntary stuttering, which quickly turned into real stuttering as I gave my pitch. Two managers and the clerk behind the counter all agreed to buy tickets. I was thrilled!
A woman standing next to me, who obviously heard this exchange, scrounged in her pocket and produced a dollar in change and asked to buy one ticket. She said she really couldn’t afford it, but wanted to help. I was touched. She also said that she knows people can be cruel and she hoped her tiny bit helped. I assured her it did!
Now here’s the funny, or strange, part. As I waited for the buyers to fill out their parts of the raffle tickets, I explained a little bit about FRIENDS. By now, I was just plain stuttering well.
After everybody finished, I collected the money, made sure everyone had their half of the tickets, and then thanked them. All three employees used the term “honey” with me. One said, “no problem, honey, good luck.” One manager who I see a lot also said, “sure honey, good luck” and the other manager also said, “have a good evening, honey, good job!”
Now, I achieved my goal of selling some tickets, raising money for FRIENDS and raising awareness of stuttering. And I definitely advertised my stuttering, even using a little bit of voluntary stuttering.
I felt discouraged when I left the store. I felt they had been condescending with me, almost like they felt sorry for me because I stutter and WAS stuttering. All three of these folks were younger than me, one in her twenties! I have never liked when a young person in retail or fast food has referred to me as “honey” or “sweetheart.”
But this seemed different. What do you think? Has this ever happened with you? Actually, have you ever advertised stuttering like this?
Make Room For The Stuttering 
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