Posts Tagged ‘workplace stuttering’
I Still Have To Talk – Episode 48
Posted on: March 7, 2011
Episode 48 features Annette, who hails from Victoria, British Columbia, Canada. Annette is 23 years old, and is a Registered Nurse. She graduated from nursing school two years ago and has been practicing for one year.
She has been working in a long-term care home, and as of this publication, will be starting a new position in a rehabilitation hospital. She easily discloses that it’s not always easy being a nurse who stutters, but she knows she is just as competent as any of her co-workers.
Annette explains that she finds it easier to talk with her patients and co-workers than it is with doctors. We explore how very often talking with anybody in a position of authority can be stressful and intimidating. Annette shares that she feels more in control when interacting with her patients.
We talk about how stuttering has impacted relationships with friends and family, and the differences in how her mom and dad have approached it with her. Annette also shares her experiences with speech therapy and what has been most helpful for her.
The biggest insight for Annette has been overcoming fear, gaining confidence and being open. And that comes through loud and clear in this conversation. Give it up for a strong, independent young woman doing exactly what she wants to do. You go girl. That’s what it is all about!
Credit for the podcast safe music used in this episode goes to ccMixter. Feel free to leave comments for Annette or just let her know how cool she is!
Episode 46 features Kay, who hails from West Africa. Kay is a lawyer currently working as counsel for a litigation firm. Kay spent many of her childhood years in France. French is her mother tongue.
We spoke with each other via Skype in early February, when Kay was in the US at the University of Minnesota. As of the posting of this episode, she is now back in West Africa.
We first met on the Covert-s email support group, where Kay was posting a lot and asking questions. I took a chance and emailed her off list. We got to know each other a bit and Kay quickly agreed to share her story to help others.
Kay shares some very personal glimpses into her life, including the effects of some early abuse. She also shares how she chose to become a lawyer, and how very hard it was for her due to her stuttering. She had grave doubts about her abilities to appear competent as a lawyer and worried how her father, an esteemed public figure and lawyer in West Africa, would perceive her.
Kay is gut-wrenchingly honest about disappointing her father and buckling under the pressure of the legal profession and communicating in courts and trials.
We discuss not only covert stuttering, but also the notion of the need to be covert for professional reasons, for self-preservation and protection. We also discuss how Kay never talked about stuttering with anyone until 6 months ago when she entered into some therapy here in the US.
She was always concerned with making her parents, friends and colleagues comfortable around her, and she tried hard to not have to subject them to listening to her stutter. She never let on how anxious and fearful she was, always putting other people’s comfort ahead of her own needs.
This was a powerful conversation. There is some background noise I was unable to remove, but the content of Kay story far outweighs any editing issues. Feel free to leave comments for Kay or just simply let her know how much you appreciated hearing her story. Credit for the podcast safe music used in this episode goes to DanoSongs.
What Happens When They Forget?
Posted on: January 24, 2011
- In: Posts
- 8 Comments
I had an interesting conversation Sunday with a friend. She wondered out loud what will happen when the attention surrounding “The King’s Speech” dies down and mainstream forgets about the movie. They will, you know.
By the end of the year, people who don’t stutter won’t even remember the movie. Attention will shift to the slew of movies that are always released at the end of the year, just in time for Academy Award buzz.
My friend mentioned that someone told her that right now, the movie almost makes it “cool to stutter”. A year from now, we will still have to worry about sending the message that it is “OK to stutter”.
In this fast paced world, people’s attentions spans are about as long as my pinkie-finger. We move from one thing to the next at lightening speed. I even have trouble these days recalling what I said an hour ago, unless I write it down. And then I can’t always even read my hand-writing any more. And speech recognition software doesn’t work well if you stutter! I tried it years ago!
So what do we do? How do we keep a reasonable focus on stuttering and remind the world that we are here, competent and able?
Another friend posted on Face book that the DVD and Blue Ray for “The King’s Speech” will be available on April 29, 2011. Who needs to know that? Who will buy the DVD? My bet is that most sales will be to us – people who stutter and people who care about people who stutter.
So we will need to continue educating others, raising awareness, talking about stuttering openly and advocating for ourselves. That includes keeping our blogs and podcasts alive and current, encouraging people who stutter to step out from behind the shadows and do everything we can to eliminate bullying of kids who stutter and workplace discrimination of adults who stutter.
That stuff will still happen. Kids will be teased and adults will be passed over for opportunities because people just don’t understand something outside of their “own world” realm.
Reminds me of a comment I saw posted on one of the stuttering email groups a few months ago. A woman asked, “are there any women who stutter in high power, visible,management positions?” Like CEO or Executive Director of known businesses?
We hear about Jack Welch of GE (20 minutes from me) and John Stoessel of 20-20 News (but he records his broadcasts and edits out stuttering). And here in my community, we have a male Mayor who stutters. But where are the women who stutter?
That’s why we will still need to keep talking and making our voices heard long after this movie is forgotten. For the kids who come behind us, and for the women who stutter openly that are not visible in those high level positions.
I recently met a woman who stutters who is her company’s Chief Branding Officer and the company is very successful. Hopefully, we will hear her story soon.
But in the meantime, we can’t complacently ride the coat tails of this movie. We who stutter every day and make room for it in our lives will have to be stronger and louder than ever to keep teaching the world that we are OK and what we have to say is important.
What do you think?
He Too Will Have A Voice
Posted on: January 20, 2011
- In: Posts
- 3 Comments
I got this letter from a gentleman who read the print newspaper article I had written about The Kings’s Speech movie. I was surprised to hear from someone in Pennsylvania, as I did not know my article had been printed outside of the Albany NY area.
I share this to show that we have no way of knowing that what we do can impact others. And also how touched I was to learn he has a three-year old grandson in therapy for stuttering.
Dear Pam:
The piece that you wrote for the Albany Times Union, “The King’s Speech” Puts Spotlight on Misunderstood Disability: Stuttering, appeared in our local paper, The Sunday News in Lancaster, PA. It caught my attention because I am a stutterer. It brought back some old feelings from the days of my struggle with my speech. I first became aware of my “handicap” when I was 12 and in sixth grade.
Jumping ahead to Penn State at 19, my sophomore year, I met a fellow stutterer in Speech 101, a required course. He introduced me to the Speech Clinic at PSU. I attended therapy sessions through my senior year. The “graduation” effort was to address a large class of students on a topic I had chosen. It was a big step toward liberation. Some people accuse me of not shutting up since.
I still stutter/stammer occasionally but I get past that pretty quickly. I graduated with a degree in forestry (I could live in the woods and hide from people), began a program in rural sociology, served two years in the army, completed additional credits in secondary education and earned a certificate in education and became a science/health teacher. I continued on and got my Masters Degree and became a counselor in secondary education, sometimes call a guidance counselor, a term I dislike.
My experiences and interests led me to become a high school career counselor. I was responsible for establishing career development centers in four schools districts for which I worked in Delaware, New Hampshire and Pennsylvania. I began my career in 1960 and retired after 40 years in 2000. I volunteered as an aid in the Career Development Center in PA after I retired.
This year at 77 I finally hung up my last life and career rainbow.
Three things prompted me to write to you: first, the title of your piece; second, your last name and its similarity to mine; and third, the fact that you are a career counselor. I am interested in hearing how you arrived at your destination.
Coincidently or otherwise, my three-year old grandson is in therapy for stuttering. He too will have a voice.
I wrote back to this gentleman and shared how I arrived at my destination of career counselor, and he shared a little more about himself.
It is always such a nice surprise to hear from someone unexpected that shares stuttering in common and feels comfortable enough to share it with a stranger. Proof that we never know who we may impact on a day-to-day basis. Our words and actions often have a farther reach than we know. It is nice to acknowledge that, and thus, be acknowledged.
Why It Matters – Episode 41
Posted on: January 17, 2011
Episode 41 is a departure from the usual format of this podcast. A woman of strength and courage, Irina, whom we met in episode 16, takes the microphone and the lead and invites me to tell some of my story.
This felt strangely awkward, but I was so glad that Irina was the one asking the inviting questions. We have become friends and share a lot in common. We had to do the Skype session twice, because the first time we had such a poor connection between New York, USA and Burgas, Bulgaria.
I hail from Albany, New York and have been “out” about my stuttering for about four years. My whole life changed in an instant in 2006, when I was fired from a job due to stuttering. That rock bottom moment helped me find resources and support, and my voice. Turns out, I always had a voice, but just didn’t know it.
Listen in as I share what it has been like for me going from “covert to overt”, how stuttering has affected me both personally and professionally, and how I really am not the same person I was just four short years ago. Irina invites me to share how and why I started this unique space for women who stutter, and how this has changed me as well.
I am proud of my journey and have no idea where it may take me next. I look forward to whatever it may be. And I am grateful for what I have learned from the strong, beautiful women from all over the world I have met. My heart and soul has been touched by each of you. Thank you!
Credit for the podcast safe music clip “Fire Babies” goes to ccMixter.
Doors Of Opportunity-Episode 40
Posted on: January 10, 2011
Episode 40 features Mary Rose Sevilla Labandelo, or Mary Lab,as she is known on Facebook, who hails from Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada.
Mary is the founder/coordinator of the Vancouver Support Group for Stutterers and has been a board member of the British Columbia Association for People who Stutter. She is presently a Pre-school teacher.
Mary has always enjoyed being around children, and finds she stutters much less when around children. She finds she has more control, when being in the “role” of teacher, and therefore, has more control over her speech. Mary discusses how she finds that “acting out characters” when reading to children really helps her!
Listen is as we discuss the impact of stuttering on Mary’s childhood and how its been different for her as an adult. We discuss disclosure, acceptance, and the value of using her own experiences to help others.
Mary shares how attending a conference of the Canadian Stuttering Association helped her finally embrace herself and drive her towards acceptance. Mary also discusses how she views her stuttering as different from the “stereotypical” image of stuttering.
The podcast safe music clip, “I’m Gonna Shine” used in this episode is credited to DanoSongs.
Please feel free to leave comments for Mary, or just let her know what a great job she did! Feedback is a gift, as I keep learning!
Episode 36 features Claudia Diamond, who hails from Guilderland, NY. She works as a medical assistant. A friend of mine from Toastmasters indicated that he knew someone who I should meet. I took a chance and emailed her, we met and have become friends. Both of us enjoy meeting up at our monthly Chat and Chew Too group, which is a social gathering for people who stutter.
Claudia shares her very personal story about her parents that were Holocaust survivors, and the parallels she found with her stuttering journey. Claudia is very candid talking about shame, grief and guilt.
Listen in to a powerful conversation about liberation on many levels. Claudia shares about her childhood, being second generation survivors and dealing with depression. She also shares how it feels to be invisible and how she only lets her “real self” out with people who she is really comfortable with. Claudia also mentions how for women it sometimes feels as if we never really leave junior high!
We also talk about self-help and the NSA, letting go of our past and moving forward, and the importance of humor. Claudia talks about a special collection she has and her “wall of fame” in her kitchen.
Credit for the podcast music used in this episode goes to ccMixter.
Please feel free to leave comments or feedback for Claudia or just tell her what a great job she did.
- In: Posts
- 4 Comments
I have written about friends who stutter here before. I have many friends whose names begin with J, so if you are reading this and think its you, you’re probably right!
J and I hung out the other night. It’s good to spend time with friends who stutter. We can let our guard down, stutter freely and sometimes, offer candid feedback to each other about stuttering moments. Not always a good idea with non-stuttering friends.
I went to his place and we talked for a while before leaving to see a play. We weren’t sure where to park when we got there, so I called and asked for directions. No problem making the call and stuttering a bit during the brief conversation. I stutter more on the phone, like many of us who stutter.
J then decided he wanted to make sure the play was not going to be too “somber and depressing” for a Thursday night, (he wanted to be entertained) so he called them back. He said he would “practice his speech on the phone”, as that is when he stutters the most too.
As soon as he started talking, he started to tense up, lean forward and block. Immediately, he stood, turned his back to me and walked away as he tried to push the first word out and then move into conversation. This really surprised me. He has never reacted like this, at least around me.
Of course, I have not seen him make many calls. When he calls me on the phone, I can’t see him, only hear, and he is very comfortable with me. I rarely hear him stutter over the phone.
When he finished his call, I mentioned this. I offered that it looked like he did not want me to see his struggle. He said he always does that on the phone. He tenses, leans forward and blocks and that he needs to stand and walk to help him move through the block.
I quietly wondered aloud if he was also uncomfortable with having me actually “see” this struggle. I asked him if he was ashamed of that, and he simply said “maybe”.
We talked about it a little more a couple of days later, and he said it’s not really shame. He said that when he gets in a block, he can’t think. He is so focused on the block that he can’t think. He says anyone around him is a distraction, and that I was a distraction, that’s why he had to move, so he could think.
His blocks are silent blocks, that over the phone I am not going to hear. There is no audible stuttering. Watching him initiate a phone call really allowed me to see the physical tension he has.
It was good that we talked about it. I suggested that if he allows himself to struggle in front of people he trusts, he can desensitize himself when it really happens making calls at work. And I further offered that he is not always going to be able to move away from distractions, and that maybe he needs to think of a way to work with this.
I remember when we recently listened to one of my podcast episodes together. When he heard me stutter on a “p” sound, which I always do, I felt embarrassed having him hear it. I commented “I hate when I do that.” He said it doesn’t bother him and asked, “Why are you so hard on yourself?” I simply said, “I don’t know.”
Yes, it’s always good to talk about our stuttering with someone else who stutters.
It’s A Thing I Do – Episode 35
Posted on: November 19, 2010
Episode 35 features Tsvetana Dimitrova, who hails from Sofia, Bulgaria. Tsvetana works in academia. Her PhD is in Linguistics and she works at the Bulgarian Academy of Science in the Linguistics department.
She is the editor of a business newspaper, called the Bulgarian Daily. Tsvetana is also a member of the Executive Board of the Bulgarian Stuttering Association.
It is safe to say that this is one busy woman. I am privileged she took time late one night (to accommodate the 6-hour time difference) to share parts of her stuttering journey.
Listen in as Tsvetana shares memories from her childhood stuttering, early speech therapy experiences and family support. We also discuss public speaking,and how challenging and stressful it can be. She shares how she initially didn’t think she could succeed at speaking publicly as a woman who stutters, but happily proved herself wrong!
We also discuss Toastmasters, which is a world-wide organization to help people from all walks of life improve public speaking and communication skills. Her self-help group is aligned with Toastmasters, and all of the members are people who stutter. They record their speeches and post them on You Tube, to encourage, inspire and learn from each other. Tsvetana has also appeared on television, reporting about her experience using the Speech Easy device.
This was a great, honest conversation infused with some humor. Listen for when Tsvetana reminds us that “Stuttering is not a disease. You can’t catch it.” Words of wisdom!
Credit for the podcast safe music clip “Fireproof Babies” goes to ccMixter.
Fluent Talk on Stuttering
Posted on: November 17, 2010
- In: Audio Links | Posts
- 2 Comments
A friend of mine, Burt, pointed me to this great video he found. Thanks Burt! A guy who stutters explains what stuttering is and how it impacts his everyday life. It is a great illustration of how to raise awareness of stuttering, as well as an example of his good graphic work on the video.
He also describes this talk he did as an “Ignite Talk”, which I have heard of before, being familiar with Toastmasters. It is a fresh and fast way to deliver a presentation that only allows 15 seconds per slide. This forces the speaker to be short and concise in what he or she is delivering and keeps the listeners involved, as the talk moves swiftly along with the slides.
Credit for this video goes to John Moore, of Brand Autopsy. He has a comment section set up on his blog if you want to leave him specific comments. This is a terrific piece for all people to see, both those who stutter and those who want to learn more about stuttering.
Why Be Angry? – Episode 33
Posted on: November 5, 2010
Episode 33 features Sadia Khan, who hails from Brampton, Ontario, Canada, by way of Pakistan when she was just 3 years old.
Sadia is a Grade 3 teacher, which was a life-long dream. Teaching is meaningful for Sadia, as she was told in high school that she should not be a teacher because of her stuttering. Her guidance counselor told her she would be a poor role model.
Listen in to this fascinating conversation about being a teacher who stutters despite having a very negative experience herself in school. Sadia shares about her fear of judgment and largely keeping her stuttering hidden from work colleagues. She shares how important it is for her today as a teacher to create a place of comfort and safety for all of her students.
We also talk about how angry she was with her dad for many years, and how she finally let go of that anger and forgave her dad. Sadia tells us about how she was naturally left-handed and her dad forced her to become right-handed. She thought maybe that trauma of having that change forced upon her was why she started stuttering.
Sadia has been involved with the Canadian Stuttering Association, and gave a speech about her journey with being a woman and teacher who stutters. She has also spoke on the radio about stuttering.
At the end, we have a great back and forth about learning how to build confidence as women who stutter.
As always, please feel free to leave comments for Sadia. Please tell her what a great job she did sharing her story. I think many teachers who stutter will be inspired by Sadia’s courage to share.
Credit for the podcast safe music clip “Firebabies” goes to ccMixter.
Episode 32 features Leana S. Wen, who currently lives in Boston, MA. She was born in China and lived in Shanghai until she was 9,when her family moved to the United States.
Leana is a resident physician at the Harvard Affiliated Emergency Medicine Residency at Brigham & Women’s/Massachusetts General Hospital. A Rhodes Scholar and graduate of Washington University School of Medicine, Dr. Wen has worked at WHO and has conducted research in the UK, Rwanda, South Africa, and China. She is deeply interested in public health and influencing world health policy.
From 2005 to 2006, Dr. Wen served as the national president of the American Medical Student Association, which has over 65,000 members. At that time, Leana recalls deeply reflecting on her stuttering. She had many public speaking challenges and worried if she had what it took to be a physician and president of the prestigious AMSA.
Listen in to an inspiring conversation about covert stuttering and confronting fear,and learning how to be a person who stutters. We also chat about focusing on fluency to the detriment of other things and why she sought speech therapy as an adult.
In spite of her accomplishments and her acceptance of stuttering, Leana honestly admits that it is very hard to show stuttering to her colleagues in medicine.
Besides being a wonderful speaker, Leana is also a dancer and a gifted writer. Check out this blog she co-wrote for the New York Times, Two For The Road. She also wrote about her stuttering journey for the National Stuttering Association’s May/June issue of Letting Go 2008. Leana’s article is on pages 4-5.
Credit for the podcast safe music clip “Echoed” goes to ccMixter.
Feel free to leave comments or questions for Leana. And for Pam – it is important for me to get feedback too!
Speaking Of Courage – Episode 28
Posted on: October 1, 2010
Episode 28 features Carolina Ayala,who hails from Toronto, Ontario, Canada. Carolina works supporting people with intellectual disabilities. She is passionate about putting a positive spin on the label”disability”, and shares her personal perception of stuttering as a disability.
Carolina attended York University in Toronto and fulfilled the requirements in 2009 for a Master of Arts in the graduate program in Critical Disability Studies. She wrote a thesis research paper on stuttering, identity and acceptance.
I met Carolina at a NSA Conference in New Jersey in 2008, but really got to know her better this year at the NSA Conference in Cleveland. We spent a lot of time talking and she gave me a copy of her thesis research paper. I read it over the summer and asked Carolina to consider sharing her story in this forum.
Listen in as we discuss self image, friends and fitting in, discrimination, authenticity, or as Carolina puts it, being robbed of her true self. Carolina also discusses her role as a child in a documentary about stuttering called “Speaking of Courage.” And she reminds us of the importance of “listen to what I say, not how I say it.”
Credit for the podcast safe music “Scott Waves to April’s Salty Grace” goes to ccMixter.
Feel free to leave comments. Carolina would be especially interested if anyone would like to further discuss her thesis research on stuttering as related to a disability. She welcomes feedback or questions.
Episode 22 features Heather Baier, who hails from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. Heather is an apprentice meteorological technician. She explains precisely what this is, after it is evident pretty quickly that I have no idea!
I first met Heather through the Twitter community. We periodically ran into each other on-line, and chatted together in a couple of group Skype calls. We eventually became Face book friends too. But we didn’t really get to know each other until we did this podcast episode.
Listen is as we chat about Heather’s work in a non-traditional career path, as well as her prior military experience. She has always been interested in electronics and science, and a secret passion for FLYING.
We also chat about the importance of her close-knit family, life lessons she has learned, and how positive attitude and choosing happiness has indelibly shaped her life.
You can find out more about Heather by reading her fantastic blog, The Adventures of an Apprentice Met Tech Ti-ger. Here, she talks about her work, stuttering acceptance and how everything all fits together.
Musical credit for the clip “Silver Shine” goes to Dano Songs, which is podcast safe music.
Feel free to leave comments or questions for Heather. She’d love to hear your feedback. I would too.
Make Room For The Stuttering 
What people are saying!