Posts Tagged ‘Toastmasters’
Facing The Monster – Episode 44
Posted on: February 1, 2011
Episode 44 features Anna Margolina, who hails from Redmond, Washington, by way of Russia. Curiousity compelled me to find Anna and “hear” her story. Let me explain!
I found the January 2011 issue of Toastmasters Magazine in my mailbox two weeks ago. The headline “From Stuttering to Public Speaking” on the cover grabbed my attention immediately. I flipped open to the article and saw five people profiled.
They were all successful Toastmasters who also happen to stutter. Four of the five profiles were men, one of which I know – Russ Hicks from Dallas, Texas. That was pretty cool, but I didn’t want to know more about Russ (sorry, friend). I wanted to know about Anna!
I was drawn to “her” story, because women who stutter are practically invisible in media, and here she was a Toastmaster and featured in a magazine. There was no personal contact information provided for Anna, but her Toastmaster club name and city was noted. I knew that was enough for me to find her!
I found her club on the Toastmaster International website and sent an email to the club contact. I asked if they would forward a message along to Anna. They did, Anna responded, and we connected. Anna was happy to share her story and voila, here we are.
Listen in as we chat about acceptance, negative self-talk, and positive change. Anna demonstrates “blocking” and how voluntary stuttering helped her face her monster. We also discuss Toastmasters, of course, John Harrison on Redefining Stuttering and Neurolinguistic Programming.
This episode is an absolute treasure trove. We dive into everything. This is the link to the article on “From Stuttering to Public Speaking” which only scratched the surface and fueled my fire to “meet” her and hear her story.
Anna also happily shares a video of one of her speeches on stuttering. You have to see this! She’s great!
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A covert stutterer posted this question on one of the email groups. It generated lots of discussion and opinions. Another covert woman asked how do we actually show our stuttering at a Toastmasters meeting and “let the cat out of the bag”. This is what I shared as a response, not realizing that I had remembered this so clearly.
One of the best topics for a person who stutters to give a speech on is stuttering. That’s how I desensitized myself when I joined 4 years ago. My first speech the – “ice breaker” – I told my stuttering story, complete with how I tried to hide it, faking it, how I pulled it off, how it made me feel, etc.
The “ice-breaker” is supposed to be 4-6 minutes. Mine was 15 minutes, because I got emotional and choked up, and did not think I could finish. There was this huge long pause – a wait, actually – and all eyes were on me. This was the first time I had ever told people I had been hiding stuttering all my life. I was fired on May 4, 2006 and I gave this speech on May 23, 2006.
While the room waited for me to compose myself, a funny thing happened. I could feel the energy in the room shift. No one was annoyed, no one was rolling their eyes, no one was being dis-respectful. In fact, I could feel most of them “willing” me to finish. I don’t think they were going to let me out of the room unless I finished.
No one said a word. It was utter silence for 1-2 minutes, which seemed forever, and I willed myself to plod along and finish. I swear I felt that energy pushing me to finish.
When I was done, they all clapped like they do for everyone as I walked back to my seat. By then, my heart was pounding and tears were streaming down my face. There was more silence, as everybody wrote little comments about how I had done and put them in a basket and passed them to me. Next, the person who had been assigned to be my formal evaluator stood up and gave his opinion of how I delivered my first speech.
As he spoke, fresh tears erupted, as I realized what I had just done. I had just done the scariest thing I could ever have imagined doing to a bunch of strangers. My evaluator, Jim (who became my unofficial mentor) stood at the lectern for a sec, then began his evaluation by uttering one word: “Bravo”.
He said he and every person in the room learned as much as they ever would that night about me, about my courage, my resilience, my desire to communicate, my writing skills and my spirit. He talked of things like wearing my emotions on my sleeve, risking being vulnerable, daring to be so personal in a first effort. He also reminded me of time limits, which I can laugh about now, and how I had started a journey that he hoped I would be compelled to finish.
People came up and hugged me after as the meeting got over, and I did not read the little slips till I got home. All of them said something similar – that is was one of the most inspirational first speeches they had heard.
A year later, I gave my 10th speech, and Jim was my evaluator again. He referred back to that night, and many of the same people were there. I still go over time a lot, I still get emotional when I share personal stuff, but that’s what makes for compelling speeches.
People want to hear things that are interesting. Even people who don’t stutter can relate to identifying fears, working to overcome them, doing things anyway, feeling struggle and triumph at the same time.
Lots of people in my club affectionately refer to “Pam’s first speech” as an example of what Toastmasters can do for a person.
In my remaining 9 speeches of the first level, I talked about stuttering twice.. One objective was to speak on something I had researched. So I spoke about the origins of stuttering, best estimates at causes, resources – including support and therapy. I demonstrated the different ways a person might stutter. That was easy. I knew how to stutter.
The other speech was on Voluntary Stuttering, as related to helping people get over fears. I related fear of water to a person gradually stepping in, getting their face wet, holding their breath, dunking in water, etc, and what a person afraid of heights might do. Then I explained how voluntary stuttering helps to break the fear someone may have of stuttering publicly. I had everyone try it with a partner and had them do repetitions on their names.
Tackling the fears we have at Toastmasters is as easy as talking about what we know best. When we talk about what we know best, its easy. We already know the material.
Sounds easy coming from someone who has already done it, but I will never forget how it felt when I made that first speech. My heart thumped, my chest heaved, my cheeks were warm, my eyes were moist. How it felt walking up to the front, how it felt walking back to my seat, how it felt watching everyone write those little feedback slips – WHICH I STILL HAVE – and how it felt to hear a veteran Toastmaster say in his evaluation that I had inspired him and others.
We all have a first time doing everything. Members of my club tell me all the time they still have their first comments slips, they still remember the anxiety, the fear, the relief, the PRIDE. Everybody feels it – stutter or not. Most people rank public speaking as the greatest fear, even over death. At a funeral, most people would rather be in the coffin than delivering the eulogy.
We all have to communicate in life. Toastmasters gives ALL OF US a place to practice, get feedback, and realize, that everybody has their own sweaty palms, dry throat, pounding heart, nervousness, desire to flee . . . . not just us.
Toastmasters has the potential to change lives. Check it out. Find a meeting near you and visit.
It’s A Thing I Do – Episode 35
Posted on: November 19, 2010
Episode 35 features Tsvetana Dimitrova, who hails from Sofia, Bulgaria. Tsvetana works in academia. Her PhD is in Linguistics and she works at the Bulgarian Academy of Science in the Linguistics department.
She is the editor of a business newspaper, called the Bulgarian Daily. Tsvetana is also a member of the Executive Board of the Bulgarian Stuttering Association.
It is safe to say that this is one busy woman. I am privileged she took time late one night (to accommodate the 6-hour time difference) to share parts of her stuttering journey.
Listen in as Tsvetana shares memories from her childhood stuttering, early speech therapy experiences and family support. We also discuss public speaking,and how challenging and stressful it can be. She shares how she initially didn’t think she could succeed at speaking publicly as a woman who stutters, but happily proved herself wrong!
We also discuss Toastmasters, which is a world-wide organization to help people from all walks of life improve public speaking and communication skills. Her self-help group is aligned with Toastmasters, and all of the members are people who stutter. They record their speeches and post them on You Tube, to encourage, inspire and learn from each other. Tsvetana has also appeared on television, reporting about her experience using the Speech Easy device.
This was a great, honest conversation infused with some humor. Listen for when Tsvetana reminds us that “Stuttering is not a disease. You can’t catch it.” Words of wisdom!
Credit for the podcast safe music clip “Fireproof Babies” goes to ccMixter.
Fluent Talk on Stuttering
Posted on: November 17, 2010
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A friend of mine, Burt, pointed me to this great video he found. Thanks Burt! A guy who stutters explains what stuttering is and how it impacts his everyday life. It is a great illustration of how to raise awareness of stuttering, as well as an example of his good graphic work on the video.
He also describes this talk he did as an “Ignite Talk”, which I have heard of before, being familiar with Toastmasters. It is a fresh and fast way to deliver a presentation that only allows 15 seconds per slide. This forces the speaker to be short and concise in what he or she is delivering and keeps the listeners involved, as the talk moves swiftly along with the slides.
Credit for this video goes to John Moore, of Brand Autopsy. He has a comment section set up on his blog if you want to leave him specific comments. This is a terrific piece for all people to see, both those who stutter and those who want to learn more about stuttering.
On Fatigue
Posted on: November 3, 2010
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How does fatigue affect your stuttering? For me, I can almost predict that my smooth speech will “fall apart” towards the end of a long speaking event. I hate that phrase “falling apart”, but that is exactly what it feels like when I am tired and still need to press on.
I had a bunch of presentations to do yesterday, three in the morning and two in the afternoon. I do not specifically practice any techniques, but when speaking for a long time, I do tend to be more aware of my pace, try to pause more and use vocal variety (Toastmasters strategies). I also drink a lot of water.
As I tire, I can feel my speech change, despite paying attention to what I need to do to feel comfortable. I lose the energy needed to project my voice, which helps me maintain what I consider my “comfortable speech”. The change happens noticeably – I have more repetitions, which when I notice and “feel”, I then lose my train of thought and start word finding.
It’s really not that big of a deal, because no one seems to notice but me. But I notice that I am noticing, as funny as that sounds, and I just don’t like being so aware of how my speech breaks down.
I stutter more when I am tired. Nothing profound, but I really notice it. What about you?
Stuttering Is Like Walking Naked
Posted on: October 27, 2010
I had to smile when my friend Bob W used the phrase “walking naked in a fluent parade.” Bob and I are both in Toastmasters and have participated in Toastmaster Demo meetings at the annual National Stuttering Association (NSA) conferences. We also both contribute to the covert-s email group. There has been a lot of lively discussions there recently.
I had mentioned on the covert list that I had recently competed in my first ever Toastmasters contest. What an emotional roller-coaster that was! Bob commented that anytime a person who stutters speaks publicly at a Toastmasters event, it is like walking naked in a fluent parade.
The imagery of Bob’s simple statement grabbed me right away. I knew exactly what he was talking about, because Toastmasters is all about public speaking and communication, and when you stutter and risk letting your stutter out, you expose yourself.
I immediately visualized walking down a street in my birthday suit with all these other people clad in business suits. Yes, I would stick out, and everybody would notice.
That was the very reason why I would not compete in a Toastmasters contest for my first four years. I was afraid to stutter publicly in front of fluent people. Plus, I was afraid I couldn’t stay within the stringent time frames of Toastmaster competitions.
Well, through my journey with self-discovery, I realized how silly that was. I was only afraid of me. I wanted to see if I could do it – if I could compete with some of the best speakers in my Toastmaster area. So I did.
On October 18, I competed in the Division F-6 Speech Evaluation Contest. I did fine. I got up in front of an audience I didn’t know, and gave an evaluation of a speaker’s speech I had never heard before. And I stayed within time.
I was nervous and my heart was pounding so loud I was convinced everybody could hear it. Like in Edgar Allen Poe’s classic, “The Tell Tale Heart”. But of course, I was the only one who heard it. And I am sure I am the only one who heard my stuttering.
Did I win? No. Was I devastated? No. Was I glad I did it? You bet!
It was a good experience and helped me cross off another item on my list titled “I can’t do this because I stutter”.
Sure, stuttering publicly around others who don’t stutter can feel like we are naked in a crowd. It can feel scary and lonely and very vulnerable.
But it is also kind of special! Why? Because we are unique. We make an impact every time we find the courage to do something that we had been afraid to do.
In the words of my good friend Joe K, “stutter naked”. Chances are you are the only one who feels naked!
Bit Of A Thespian?
Posted on: September 4, 2010
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At a recent training, I found myself assigned to one of the dreaded small break-out groups where we work together on a mini assignment. I am sure you know what I am talking about. The large group counts out numbers, and all the “1”s form a group, and the “2”s and so on. We work on something and then present it out as a team to the larger group.
I have always hated these things. I think everyone does. I was with a group of teachers and did not know anyone. We had 20 minutes to work on our project and then decide how EACH one of us would participate in sharing our results with the larger group. Which meant we would all have to talk. There was no escaping!
No one was nuts about it. Even as teachers who stand up in front of a classroom every day, everyone seemed anxious. We all worry about making a fool of ourselves up in front of a group we don’t know. But, we were all in the same spot, so we just sucked it up and made the best of what we had to do.
Of course, my worry was would I stutter and how much? No one here knew me, and it didn’t feel like a place to do any advertising or disclosure. I don’t think anyone else was worrying about that.
It was a science project we were to work on and then present our findings. Me and science do not mix. There were 4 science teachers in my group, me and one administrator. Everybody set out immediately to work on the problem that needed to be solved. The teachers were busy writing and one even pulled out a calculator and began working on the numeric portion of what would need to be presented.
I was feeling quite lost and after a few minutes of observing everyone working individually, I asked how were we going to make this a group presentation. I also reminded everyone we were running out of time and had not yet decided who would do what. I took the lead, and suggested that the teachers “do” and “present”the middle part and the other non-teacher and myself would handle the intro and conclusion.
Everybody seemed in agreement, and we even decided we would stand in the order we would present. I liked that idea, and with a few precious minutes left, we all worked on what we would say. Even though this was just a simulated science project and nothing real was “at stake”, we all wanted to do well in front of our peers. I insisted we take a few minutes and each quickly review what we each would say. We did, and then it was show time.
I wrapped up our presentation with a summary and “call to action”. I improvised much of what I said in the moment. It came off sounding great, and I was relieved to have had only a few blips of stuttering. Several of my group commented that my wrap-up sounded polished and easy, and I looked very comfortable.
I attributed much of this to my participation in Toastmasters. Practicing impromptu speaking has really helped with my courage and confidence.
On the way out of the training for the day, one of the organizers also commented to me that she thought I had done a terrific job. She added, “looks like you are even a bit of a thespian. You have a flair for the dramatic. Do your students ever pick up on that?”
I told her that I think most of my students tolerate me as much as they do any other adult standing before them!
But I wondered about her comment, suggesting that I infuse a little drama into my speaking. I have noticed that as well when I do a speech in Toastmasters. When I speak in a non-conversational mode and project my voice, as in “acting out a role” perhaps, I stutter less.
I wonder if this is inadvertently a technique I use to manage my stuttering when doing public speaking. I don’t intentionally set out to “add some drama”, but evidently I do, as I have noticed it and others have.
What do you think? Has anyone had a similar experience? Maybe I am courting a new career . . . . . . .
Women Who Stutter – Episode 14
Posted on: July 19, 2010
Episode 14 has been removed from the podcast archives.
This episode featured a woman that I got to meet when I visited the UK for the first time a few months ago (March/April 2010.) It was such a delight to meet her in person, and her family, after having only “met” S on-line through social media.
She invited me and and two other new friends into her home for a beautiful luncheon. After lunch, we had a tour of her home town and the seacoast of England. We also sat around her kitchen table over tea talking about everything women everywhere talk about.
It was one of the best experiences in my life. I look forward to when our paths cross again.
My First Solo Workshop
Posted on: July 16, 2010
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I did a solo workshop at the NSA conference last week, and also helped with the Toastmaster Demo meeting. Both of these workshops were back-to-back on Saturday afternoon.
On Saturday morning, I worked with a small group of teens. We did some video recording, which will be posted on YouTube and the NSA website (front page, I hope, as these young people’s messages are outstanding).
I gave a speech at the Toastmaster meeting, which I really enjoyed doing. I spoke about my recent visit to England and what it was like visiting a meeting of the British Stammering Association. I thought it was great to speak about this at a US stuttering convention, as it serves as a reminder how global stuttering is.
Doing a Toastmaster Demo meeting is a great opportunity for toastmasters. We get to explain what Toastmasters is all about and the benefits to be gained by becoming a member. It is also very empowering to facilitate a Toastmasters meeting where all the roles are filled by people who stutter.
Toastmasters is highly recommended for people who stutter to gain valuable experience with public and impromptu speaking. You also get meaningful feedback from others which helps you set goals for future improvement.
This workshop was recorded by Judy Kuster’s husband, Tom. (I did not know it would be recorded until I saw him setting up the recording equipment). Judy is the guru of The Stuttering Home Page. It will be available for sale on DVD. (Eeeeks!)
The other workshop I facilitated was called, “Ch-Ch-Ch- Changes: Sometimes Change Can Change Everything”. A friend and I had talked about wanting to do a workshop like this since last year. She was unable to attend this year’s workshop, so I did the workshop myself.
My focus was on how one little change in our lives can change everything in our world. And the change doesn’t only happen to us. People around us – family, friends, co-workers, significant others – can be profoundly affected by a change we make or that happens unexpectedly. Entire families are affected when a member is an alcoholic or drug addict. Everybody learns how to cope, or deny, in some way.
And when the alcoholic or drug addict enters recovery, that change again affects the whole family. Suddenly, you have to adapt to a whole new person and new family dynamics. It’s not easy – I speak from personal experience.
Same with stuttering. I behaved and thought one way when I was covert for so many years. When I finally embraced my stuttering and let it out, I changed completely. I grew stronger, more assertive and confident, and less fearful. I grew into another person, and people in my life had to learn how to relate to this new person. Or choose not to.
Profound change happened in my life in just four short years. Change that also affected everyone around me. I discussed this in my workshop and shared parts of my personal journey that I had not shared with too many people.
Change is hard. Change is scary. Change is part of life. Change can change everything in an instant. Be ready for it!
NSA Special Moments
Posted on: July 12, 2010
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I was at the NSA Conference in Cleveland Ohio last week, and as always it was an exciting, magical and inspirational weekend. I plan to write about some of the best moments and provide a summary of a couple of really great workshops I attended, plus one I gave!
In the meantime, Mike Bauer put together a fantastic video that was played during the closing ceremonies. It really summarizes how wonderful the conference was, and the magic feeling you get being around so many courageous people who stutter.
Mike also presented at the Toastmaster Demo workshop and gave his icebreaker speech, and did a fantastic job. I think this was only Mike’s second conference, so kudos to him for stepping up with a presentation so soon.
I feel honored to be able to share this video here! Mike did a great job. He may have found a new volunteer job with the NSA.
Lots Of People Who Stutter
Posted on: July 9, 2010
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Right now, I am at the National Stuttering Association (NSA) 2010 conference in Cleveland, Ohio. By the time you read this, I will have been here for 2 full days. It is a great time to stutter freely and openly, meet new people and catch up with many friends I have made on this wonderful journey.
I made a promise to myself that I would not spend time during the conference blogging, tweeting or updating on Face book. That takes away from the real purpose of being here – which is to connect with others who share the same experience, worries and fears. There is nothing more powerful than the support of people who get it, even if you don’t know them, yet!
I feel that wave of support when I walk into one of the rooms at a NSA conference. I don’t have to explain myself or what I just did. I don’t have to worry about any of the looks, or feel self-conscious. We can talk, and listen, and share, and take as much time as we need.
I will be writing about some of the best moments of the NSA conference upon my return. It will be hard to do, as I know there will be many to choose from. I am facilitating one workshop on my own, helping with the Toastmasters demo meeting, and doing something special with teens on Saturday morning.
I am also looking forward to meeting some friends in person – Danny, Sarah, Gloria, Mandy, Cheryl – and meeting some of the folks who will be experiencing the fellowship of self-help for the first time.
Look for updates here soon!
If Anyone Stutters, We’ll . . . .
Posted on: May 14, 2010
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At my Toastmasters meeting last week, I winced a little when a member stood up and explained his meeting role to the group. We do that in Toastmasters -we have people fulfill roles, and always explain what it is we are doing and why. Its good protocol and helps guests and new members to understand what is going on.
The guy who was to be the “Ah Counter” and grammarian for the evening stood and introduced himself and began to explain what his role for the evening would be and why it mattered. The “Ah Counter” has the dubious job of keeping track how many times filler words -such as uhm, ah, like, you know-are used throughout the meeting.
This is so people are more aware of doing this, so that we can encourage speakers to pause briefly or use transition phrases. The grammarian report is to help people use grammar and sentence structure more effectively.
So I was a bit surprised when the guy adds to his explanation, “if anyone stutters, we’ll hit them over the head with this (Toastmasters) manual”. Not one person in the room batted an eyelash or seemed to react that this was anything negative, except me. Of course! I felt my face flush, and said to myself,”what did he just say? No, he didn’t!”
But he did and I didn’t say anything! I am sure he meant no disrespect and may not even have been aware that he said it. I was aware and so flirted with the idea of saying something quick like, “unless of course you’re me and can’t help it”.
It didn’t seem appropriate to embarrass him, if he would have even been embarrassed by any reaction by me. It’s a moot point now, as I let it pass.
Except it just reminds me that it is up to us, those who stutter, to keep educating and raising awareness so people don’t think its acceptable to make flip comments like that.
Because it’s not!
Make Room For The Stuttering 
What people are saying!