Make Room For The Stuttering

Posts Tagged ‘being real

There are so many things we think we can’t do, so we don’t.

I always wanted to teach, but thought I couldn’t, so I didn’t try.

I always wanted to travel, but thought I couldn’t, so I didn’t try.

I always wanted to speak up, but thought I couldn’t, so I didn’t try.

I always wanted to be athletic, but wasn’t, so I didn’t try.

I always wanted to be emotional, but was afraid, so I didn’t try.

I always wanted lots of friends, but that meant talking, so I didn’t try.

I always wanted to say what I really felt, but I was embarrassed, so I didn’t try.

I always wanted to feel accepted for who I was, but felt I would never be, so I didn’t try.

But then something changed.

I started trying.

I am not a teacher, but I teach someone something every day.

I wanted to travel, so I did it. I have been to some great places.

I wanted to speak up, so I tried it, and now you can’t shut me up.

I wanted to stick to a fitness goal, so I started walking. I entered two races and I did them.

I wanted to be more comfortable with my emotions, so I have been trying, and its been OK.

I wanted more friends in my life, so I learned how to be a friend, and it worked.

I wanted to say the things I really felt, so I tried and it felt good.

I wanted to be accepted for who I was, so I started working on accepting myself. And its working.

If we never try, nothing ever changes.

I did it!

I like the sound of those three words.

My sister Trish and I talked about how she felt about having a sister who stutters. I have really only had candid conversations like this with one other sibling. I never knew how Trish felt about some things.  She was pretty honest. Actually, she quite surprised me with some things she said. She agreed to let me record our conversation, which also really surprised me.

I am truly beginning to understand the value of talking about the difficult things. Talking a little about my stuttering opened the door for my sister to mention other, harder things that we have shared, but never really talked about.

I will remember for a long time one thing in particular my sister said. “You had to take your stuttering with you wherever you went”. I never would have thought she would have given that any thought. She realized that we could close the door on other things and temporarily act like they weren’t there. But not the stuttering. It came with me.

Here is an audio clip of our conversation, which as I said, opened the door and made talking about some other things a little easier.

Trish’s perspective on having a sister who stutters (10.33)

I was really happy that my sister was willing to be so open. The more we talk about stuttering, the less difficult it becomes to talk about stuttering.

When you get involved in the stuttering community, you meet so many really special people. As we know, stuttering is random and visits people from all over. Its so much fun getting to know people, hearing their stories and making new friends. Technology is amazing – phones, webcams,skype, video – everything makes our world smaller and allows us to share.

I have been tweeting with a guy who stutters from stutterblog, and also joined his community over there. (Check it out!)  He has recently taken some steps to welcome stuttering into his life and work towards acceptance. Part of this process is talking with other people who stutter, of course, whenever you can. We learn from other!

Thad invited me to chat with him about stuttering. We agreed we would record our chat, so he could post it on his site. And I couldn’t resist putting them here too, and giving a shout-out to Thad. I will admit that he is MUCH better with technology than I am, as he was able to put our two videos together side by side. The videos came out great. So take a few minutes to listen in, as we discuss some honest issues about stuttering. Thad took some risks, and has moved one huge step closer to acceptance by speaking out like this.

I was really honored to chat with him, and look forward to more honest dialogue about stuttering – which makes us unique and special.

Part 1 – Thad and Pam

Part 2 – Thad and Pam

I was fortunate enough to get some clips of good friends speaking at various points during the conference. I will post several of them here over the next few days. Here is Bob and Mitch. They both spoke genuinely from the heart, and have a message worth hearing. I am grateful that they gave permission for me to post their “story” here.

Please feel free to comment, or just let them know they did a great job!


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© Pamela A Mertz and Make Room For The Stuttering, 2009 - 2019. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Pamela A Mertz and Make Room For The Stuttering with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. Same protection applies to the podcasts linked to this blog, "Women Who Stutter: Our Stories" and "He Stutters: She Asks Him." Please give credit to owner/author Pamela A Mertz 2019.
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