Someone said this to me in conversation last night over the phone. This person and I were talking for the first time, and it was a little awkward, as it can be when you don’t know someone and you are trying to make a good impression. (I think that is what was going on!)

He kept clearing his throat, and at one point I couldn’t resist chuckling and asking if he was OK. He laughed himself, and made the comment that he was a little nervous and didn’t want to start stuttering or anything.

For a fleeting moment, I winced. I felt maybe I should have said something like, “well, so what if you do. It’s no big deal – I stutter.” But I didn’t say that, or anything at all as a matter of fact. I just let it pass and continued on with our dialogue.

Because that early into talking with someone I was just meeting, I had not shared that I do stutter sometimes. It kind of goes back to a post I made last week, about not always wanting to “make an announcement” at the beginning of every conversation I have with anybody that I stutter.

I figured I would handle that with this person only if I needed to, if I stuttered noticeably enough that he commented on it or something. At that point in our conversation, I was very fluent. I had two or three minor little blips, which I am sure he either didn’t notice or chalked it up to me being a little nervous too. So why bring up stuttering at all? It hadn’t come up at all in my mind until he made that innocent remark.

It was an innocent remark. People say it, never thinking (I am sure) that the person they are talking to actually does stutter and may be really struggling with it. Of course, if you are or have been covert, like me, and can get away with not stuttering for periods of time, it makes it even harder.

So why I am even writing about this? Because it bothered me. Yep, it did. When this person said it, it seemed momentarily like something negative was attached to stuttering. And I work hard to have stuttering not be a negative anymore in my life.

Stuttering has opened doors for me and provided me with opportunities that I would never have had if I didn’t stutter. And I have met truly amazing, inspirational people because of stuttering. And I have recognized  strengths within that I didn’t realize I had. I guess a small part of me wishes that fluent people didn’t use the term stuttering to mean something bad.  As strong as I think I am in terms of acceptance, these little things remind me that I still have tiger (ooops, ti-ger) taming to do!

What do you think? If I felt this way, should I have said something? What have you felt if and when you have heard someone casually mention stuttering in this way?