13 Responses to "Feeling Self-Conscious"
August 18, 2010 at 9:44 AM
“I think we all feel vulnerable at times Pam. Usually I don’t give a damn but there are times when I do feel really annoyed with myself when I get that self conscious feeling. I suppose it depends on the mood we are in at the time, don’t you?”
August 18, 2010 at 10:25 AM
Yes, that has happens to me very often. It happens when I don’t like what I am hearing. I make some noise, like prolong the s in a word or repeat the t in a word many times. Since my main pattern is blocking I am working on densentizing myself to hearing those stuttering noises. And realizing that that IS better than blocking.
August 18, 2010 at 2:37 PM
Sometimes I can be totally fluent. Until I pick up the phone. It’s like a bucket of cold water. But I try to shake it off and continue with what my message was. I do feel slightly chilled afterwards though. But life goes on. “
August 18, 2010 at 11:03 PM
Of course you feel self-conscious sometimes about your stuttering. You’re human. And you are also allowed too feel that way. We may accept stuttering.. but it still is what it is.. and we still sound different than everyone else.
Yes, lightening didn’t strike. There; the world still turns. Wasn’t there a time when that would have set you off into a crying fit instead of feeling a little self conscious? It would have to me. You’ve come a LONG way- you are allowed to be imperfect sometimes. And then… you live on!
August 19, 2010 at 5:55 AM
Pam, I to feel like that at times. I can be almost totaly fluent at work. But every once in awhile it just hits me. I hate it when customers are around and just fear “THE LOOK” I guess that just goes with stuttering. We just have to remind ourselves “It’s OK To Stutter.” Besides you stutter like a RockStar and Rock Stars don’t care 🙂
August 19, 2010 at 9:15 AM
I have had tremendous success in dealing with the “Self -Conscious” ness and guilt that you speak of. It has been the single most difficult part of my therapy experience, yet I am forever grateful for the therapist that led me to it and helped me attain it.
I have unending IDGAS when it comes to my stuttering…
August 19, 2010 at 9:24 AM
Retz, what are IDGAS or did you mean IDEAS? And what type of therapy helped you most in dealing with the vulnerability, guilt and shame?
August 19, 2010 at 1:17 PM
I’ll try and keep this short.
Speaking as a PWS, I had experienced 14 continuous years (age 3 – 17) of what I view as traditional therapy – Doman Delacato Therapy, fluency training/fluency shaping therapy, stuttering modification therapy, “Hybrid” therapy, DAF therapy and Drug therapy. By the age of 17, after seriously experiencing these types of therapies, I had developed into a “severe” stutterer and exhibited the ultimate stuttering behavior, chosen silence.
I then experienced a stuttering therapy approach that emphasized increasing talking, even if I did stutter, decreasing communication apprehension ( emphasis on decreasing the fear of talking and decreasing the fear of speaking), increasing interaction with others and therapist provided counseling to identified significant listeners in my life. Interestingly enough, this type of therapy discouraged me — almost forbid me — to use any type of previously learned “techniques” ever. It was OK to stutter!!!
One of the major results of this therapy approach for me was the release of the natural speech I already possessed. (I could always talk without stuttering, as long as nobody else was around!)
IDGAS = I DON’T GIVE A SHIT. For me, this was the most difficult part of the therapy approach for me to acquire and own. It was the KEY ingredient for me!
I still stutter but the ratio of stuttered speech VS natural speech is unbelievably remarkable to me when I consider where I was. Many professional SLP’s have remarked to me that they find it hard to believe I ever stuttered. I always tell’em stuttering was a gift that I am glad I received! It taught me so much and have learned so much because of it and all it brought to me.
I am so grateful to the therapist and the therapy trip he took me on. The journey was/is way beyond what I ever thought possible . The freedom to speak without fear of stuttering or talking has been – is – an incredible life changing experience for me… I just don’t give a shit anymore.
August 19, 2010 at 4:43 PM
Wow, thanks so much for sharing all that. I can really understand and almost glimpse that journey.
That must be such incredible liberation for you. I have never stuttered consistently severely, did more than now as a kid, but I can very much relate to your feelings.
I hope you get to share this with others. Do you still stay in touch with that life-altering therapist?
Pam
The Mysterious Flame: Conscious Minds In A Material World…
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August 22, 2010 at 8:56 PM
Hey Pam:), I am very self conscious of my stuttering even if it so happens that no one heard it, it still makes me feel uncomfortable and ashamed. If I stutter profoundly I feel like everyone is watching and judging even if if they are not or don’t care. I don’t really have that “I don’t care it is ok” attitude down packed yet;O
September 23, 2017 at 5:50 PM
Yes I feel that and lately it’s become worse to the point I want to talk but I can’t. A few months ago it use to be so much better.
Make Room For The Stuttering 
August 18, 2010 at 8:40 AM
You better believe I feel it sometimes. In those moments, I have to remind myself that I am a person who stutterers and I just stuttered. Nothing more, or less.