Make Room For The Stuttering


Posted on: July 28, 2009

Deepak Chopra is one of my favorite writers and thinkers. He helps me make connections between what I am thinking and feeling, and how my thoughts impact the world. He explains connection in a very special way:

“When an experience is so powerful that it motivates people to change the whole pattern of their lives, we call that a breakthrough or an epiphany. The value of an epiphany doesn’t just lie in some new or exciting insight. You might be walking down a street and pass a stranger. Your eyes meet and for some reason there is a connection. The epiphany is is that you are that stranger – your experience merges with his. Call this a feeling or a thought – its the sudden expansion that counts. You are flung outside your narrow boundaries, if only for a moment, and that makes all the difference. You have tasted a hidden dimension.”

People who stutter very often feel an instant connection with other people that stutter. You don’t even have to know the person and a bond is formed almost instantly. When this happens, as Chopra reminds us, we come out of our world and into someone else’s and we feel that deep connection. I saw that in action this weekend at the Friends conference in Tampa and two weeks ago at the NSA conference in Scottsdale. People who stutter feel comfortable immediately with someone else who stutters. Very few words need to be exchanged – the acceptance is just  there.

It happens with parents too who come to these conferences. First-time parents are immedialty welcomed and drawn into the shared experience where personal boundaries are let down and the parent becomes the stranger they are first meeting. These connections are powerful.

Some of these connections seem almost magical, mystical, meant to be. Often, the universe is trying to tell us something through that other person. The key is to let it in. Sometimes we don’t let these things in out of fear, or because we have always been told or thought to be wary of strangers. But sometimes you just know – you pass someone on the street and your eyes meet and you just sense a connection. Or with me, sometimes I see a little child so focused on play and delighting in a  moment, that I feel a tug on my heart. The child’s innocence seems so palpable, that it makes me yearn for the same carefree delight. Sometimes you can get lost in that magical moment of fragility and wonder, and you are reminded that life is really about these special moments.

I felt that connection when I saw children who stutter all fitting it and sharing with each other. There were no deep profound conversations going on with the kids, yet the connection and acceptance was obvious. And the parents too – when parents were sharing with each other, some total strangers, you could feel the connection from the smiles, nods and shiny eyes that threatened to spill over. The pull was so strong, it was electric.

Free sharing can be so powerfully motivating that it can really change the whole pattern of a person’s life. How wondrous to hear that and know that. Friends kids and teens and parents who have surrendered to the stuttering and embraced it, accepted it, let it in and realized how unique and special it makes them. I can remember one 14 y.o. girl say, “I wouldn’t trade my stuttering for the world. It makes me who I am.”

Because I have allowed my own heart and mind to be open, I have found myself connecting more and more with people around me. And I am not even trying – it just is happening. When your soul is ready, the right people and right relationships come in and leave an imprint.

Right now, my heart and soul has been imprinted by a very special connection. Someone who shows me that it is OK to share my humanity, which, with the right person,  is lovingly received. Our experiences are merging in a special, significant way. We have gone into each other’s world. 

Sometimes connection is handed to you like a gift. We have to be ready to receive the gift, and know that the giver is not looking for something in return, but will likely get something very powerful back anyway. As such, we should anticipate and shiver with excitement when we unwrap this special gift and feel the magic of connection. The gift that keeps on giving, and brings meaning to our lives. As seekers, we will find what we need if we are open to receive it.

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© Pamela A Mertz and Make Room For The Stuttering, 2009 - 2022. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Pamela A Mertz and Make Room For The Stuttering with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. Same protection applies to the podcasts linked to this blog, "Women Who Stutter: Our Stories" and "He Stutters: She Asks Him." Please give credit to owner/author Pamela A Mertz 2022.
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