I remember watching the movie “Crash”. I could identify with all the different things that unwittingly came together at the same time. Good movies have a way of sucking you in like that. Several things happen innocently in the background, but are poised to crash and get your attention. Life is like that. Things can happen and feel like a 10 car pile-up.

I have had times like that in my life. Who hasn’t? It’s what you do after the crash that counts. I recently experienced a crash and was put to a test.  My car died at a very inconvenient time. (Is it ever convenient?) I was on my way to an important appointment. I was going to find out the cause behind a nagging medical issue I have been grappling with and admittedly putting off, hoping it would just go away.

Why do we do that? They usually don’t just go away on their own.  To top this off, my partner was having issues too. He had another surgery coming up, dialysis was causing numbness in his arm and hand, and he was taking his frustration and anger out on me.

I called the Road Service plan. Stuttering crashed the party! When the operator came on to take my service call and ID number, I blocked and could not get my name out. That almost never happens. It may have been the stress exasperating my stuttering. It was at that very moment I felt the crash. The operator lost patience and hung up on me. How humiliating!

Before I was able to take a deep breath and call back, the dam burst and I lost it.  I hate to lose control. I started to cry, right there in the parking lot with my car grinning up at me. I crashed emotionally, in slow motion. My heart started pounding, I felt dizzy and I was not just weeping, but doing the whole “full blown, choking, gulping, gasping” kind of crying. I could not catch my breath, and felt pitifully vulnerable. I leaned against the car and just let go. It was going to have to run its course. I just hoped no one would see me like this.

Not meant to be. The maintenance guy came out of nowhere and stopped to see if I needed help. I pulled myself together enough (sort of) to tell him what happened. He said the Auto teacher was in the garage helping a student.  He called him to look at my car. He told me if I bought the parts and a tire, they would be able to fix it.  It would be a lot cheaper, and I wouldn’t need a tow service.  Suddenly, I was calmer and my breathing was back to normal. While I talked to these guys, I was stuttering, but they didn’t seem to care. Funny thing, neither did I.

I pulled my phone out, called my doctor’s office, and told them I was running late. They said they would wait.  A friend came and got me, and I made it to the appointment. Nothing life threatening – annoying, but fully treatable!

Parties are crashed. Cars crash. Sometimes people do, too. The key is moving on. I passed the test. I survived.

Today is my nephew Nicholas’ 10th Birthday. Happy Birthday Nicky!