Make Room For The Stuttering

Stuttering’s Sacred Space

Posted on: May 9, 2009

Yesterday I went into the sacred space with my trusted mentor J, and we talked. Really talked. Its amazing how intimate we can get with each other when both of us are present and recognizing this truly sacred space. I refer to this as  sacred space because we agree to be honest, no matter what, and non-judgemental. We are free to be our authentic selves.

And we talk about life, and all of its kindnesses, and things not so kind. This is one place where I feel no pressure. There is no pressure to control my emotions, and there is no pressure to control my stuttering. I am just present and he is too, and we let things in, and feel the beauty of sharing.

Sometimes when I stutter, I notice that J watches me with a hint of a smile. Like he is happy for me. We have talked about that, and he acknowledges that yes, indeed, he is happy that I allow all of me to be present with him. And he does like wise.

When our good friend Jean died, we both made a commitment that we would honor her by continuing our journey together, helping  to unearth demons and make friends with them in some way. We both approach our time together from this perspective, and we both leave the sacred space better for having been there.

Yesterday we talked about hurt and anger, two emotions that I have always been afraid of . I am afraid of getting angry – it goes back to the childhood demons. Mostly,  my father’s anger and shame when I stuttered. I did not want to ever get angry like that. So I hold it in, and sometimes turn it inward. But I have been very angry with someone and afraid of expressing that.

J agreed to hold my anger in his heart for me for a few days until I am ready for it. Which I will be. Because we become stronger people when we can confront what life throws us, and do it in a respectful and honest way.

So, having a sacred space is an honor. Someone cares enough about me to hold my anger until I am ready to invite it in. Like I have invited stuttering in. And my other complex parts that make me who I am. (I have talked about spirituality before on this blog.)

Does anyone else share this experience? Do you have someone where you can say absolutely anything and know that it will be respected and honored? It truly is sacred work we humans do with each other.

1 Response to "Stuttering’s Sacred Space"

I was having similar problems with really feeling my own feelings for a while. The person who helped me through that is also on Twitter and you may actually be following her too.

I’m blessed in that there are a number of people I could confide anything to and know they would respect it and keep it safe and not use it against me in the future. Even one single person like that in our lives is a treasure.

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© Pamela A Mertz and Make Room For The Stuttering, 2009 - 2022. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Pamela A Mertz and Make Room For The Stuttering with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. Same protection applies to the podcasts linked to this blog, "Women Who Stutter: Our Stories" and "He Stutters: She Asks Him." Please give credit to owner/author Pamela A Mertz 2022.
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