Make Room For The Stuttering

When is Enough Enough?

Posted on: March 29, 2009

Last night, I was talking with my significant other about some of the stuttering stuff I have been up to lately. He rarely asks – he doesn’t really get it, nor care for that matter. What he does care about is when I am not around. He gets very resentful and wants to know when is enough, enough. He actually said it that way, “when is enough enough?’

He commented that I went to conferences last year – so aren’t I “over it” by now? I tried to explain why its so important to me. I want to keep connected with people who stutter and talk about it, and contribute in some way so that people don’t go through what I did when I was so ashamed I thought I had to keep my stuttering hidden. He looked at me with such a blank look. He really thinks I have had enough and should be able to go back to the way I was.

I tried another approach. I reminded him that my mother is an alcoholic and has been sober for 25 years. She still goes to meetings 3 or 4 times a week and attends special meetings and conferences every year. It’s the connection and fellowship with other people that is the important link, what keeps a person wanting to be so involved in self-help and support.

I still don’t think he gets it. He says its a waste of time, and that I am neglecting him. I have asked him numerous times if he wants to come to a meeting and see what I do, or meet some of my friends who stutter. About this, to his credit, he was honest. He said he has a hard enough time when one of my stuttering friends calls here. He has a hard time listening on the phone. He says we talk too slow and it takes too long on the phone. He can’t imagine hanging out with stutterers in person.

It was about this time in the conversation that I was starting to get a little stressed, as I am oft to do when we are disagreeing about things that are important to me. When stress goes up, I tend to stutter more than usual. I found myself saying, “WHwh-whats the p-p-point of trying to communi-ca-ca-cate with you anyway? You always wawa-want the llllllast word”. And then he said, “N0, no, no I don’t”, and we both just burst out laughing.

He wasn’t stuttering, he was mad and trying to assert himself, and I found it so funny, I dissolved into a fit of giggles. He had no choice but to join me laughing, as it was contagious.

Enough is never enough.

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© Pamela A Mertz and Make Room For The Stuttering, 2009 - 2017. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Pamela A Mertz and Make Room For The Stuttering with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. Same protection applies to the podcasts linked to this blog, "Women Who Stutter: Our Stories" and "He Stutters: She Asks Him." Please give credit to owner/author Pamela A Mertz 2017.