13 Responses to "What Goes Unsaid"

I was asked this same question from my SLP in a questionnaire form, I went on to say, I find that most people in general will automatically look away, yawn or fiddle with something so don’t realize the negativity they are giving off. I think I have over the years been able to judge who is generally interested in us and give us there patience or those whose eyes glaze over and will do whatever possible to get out of the conversation, and I think this is one of the main
things that really affects me. It’s that feeling of being un appreciated or invisible that can be quite damaging, with the listener not even realizing they are being negative.
Thanks for the post!
You are right in saying it gives us a feeling of being invisible or un appreciated .


Pam, I was shoked by his words – that every time he stuttered, she looked bored and yawned. I didn’t see the movie yet, and now I am afraid this image of her yawning will spoil the impression. I was getting this a lot when I blocked hard and long. People finishing my sentences, or just walking away without waiting when I finish or looking bored. It seems to be a benign reaction – no harm intended, but it seemed like they believed that my stutter made it somehow ok to behave like this with me. I heard of people developing stuttering at older age – one person on our NS forum stumbled on the name of his boss during an important meeting and then he had fear that he might start stuttering and this how it ended – he did started stuttering. I wonder if her reaction made Colin Firth afraid that he may not be able to stop stuttering. For me at least, fear of stuttering played huge part in my struggle.
Anna


Very nice post Pam and thanks for Posting it. I feel Colin Firth’s remark has sparked yet another debate about stuttering being an acquired behavior. This is such a shame. And to say that his co-actress used to yawn whenever he had to stutter on the screen goes to show how a fluent speaker views stammering in totality even though he meant to be joking out there.

Well, for Colin stuttering is apparently an asquired condition, and this of course will sparkle discussion of whether or not his stuttering is the same as other cases. Although for him, if he won’t be able to get rid of it, it will make no difference. I hope his belief that you cannot get real stuttering if you don’t have the genes for it will be stronger than his fear that it can become permanent. In this case there is hope for him.
Anna



I don’t know why but I have the general feeling that Mr. Firth should now move on, and change topic. Sure, his acting was great, and the King Speech was an excellent movie, which did a lot of good for how stuttering is perceived by the general public. But I don’t think this qualifies him for giving views on what living with stuttering is like. I realise he wishes good, but I think it sounds false. And maybe it’s me being negative, but I don’t believe one minute in the fact that he is struggling to lose his stutter. if anything, this statement (assuming it is accurately reported) makes me think that he is rather trying to capitalise on his award winning role.
Having said that, I think he would do a decent honorary chairperson for the NSA week. After all, the concept of “honorary” includes a notion of someone from outside a circle getting recognition from within. My personal choice would rather have been to give that position to the film’s director, but it’s really a question of personal taste.


Poor Colin Firth – not only he can end up with stuttering, but he also may be denied camaraderie of other PWSs, because he isn’t “a real stutterer”. I used to have severe stutter (graded and documented). Now I have a bit left, but I speak mostly fluently and even though a bit of disfluency left, I never block as long and hard as I used to do. None in my family stutters. My two daughters do not stutter. I don’t think I have the genes. If I do, I don’t care. I am certain as I continue working on it, I will overcome it completely. Should I be called not a real stutterer? If he suffers from it and if this is out of his control, then I would just wish it won’t last for him. But “real” or not, it can be frightening for him and it can cause him pain. So my heart is with him.
Anna


I found this article by some professor who studies stuttering with analysis of The King’s speech from his, scientific point of view. It interesting there that he says that according to his research, it is possible to predict whether or not a child will recover by analyzing his or her stutter at the age of 8. He says that if Colin Firth’s portraying of King George’s stuttering is accurate, this type of stuttering predicts difficult recovery, which was the case with King George. http://www.nature.com/news/2011/110202/full/470007a.html
Anna

Very nice article Anna. But what i would like to hear is, there are cases where children outgrow their stutter as they’re in their developmental stage because the weak motor nerves responsible for stutter gets stronger and as a consequence they become normal speakers. The problem with stutter is the genes responsible for stutter gets passed on from generation to generation and in few cases it becomes active and in few cases it remains dormant. For example, even i don’t have anyone in my family who stutters but i cannot say for sure that my gr8 gr8 grandfather did or didn’t. That’s the problem with genes.



Once again, you hit a very main point about stuttering in this post. This is a great article!!! Thank you, Pam!

May 9, 2011 at 12:38 PM
I’m fascinated that he said that. Was he implying that he was embarrassed or frustrated by her looking away? Body language can happen so subconsciously but it can be so powerful. Much of the time I think their reaction may not have anything to do with the stutter, but it is so easy to interpret their yawn, or look away, or glance at their watch, as a personal affront. Thanks for the post!