Make Room For The Stuttering

An Attractive Stutter

Posted on: March 10, 2009

OK, I just have to give a shout out to my friend Richard tonight. I hope he reads this, and realizes how much someone can make someones day, with seemingly little effort. No one has ever, ever said this to me, and it made me think about stuttering in a whole different way.

I recorded a video clip and had it posted it on one of the stuttering sites that I visit often. I let Richard know the clip was posted, as he had seen some of my other ones. (As a matter of fact, he once posted that he knew someone famous – Me – because he had stumbled on my video on YouTube. I definitely am not famous, but will admit that I rather liked that).

Anyway, Richard let me know that he watched my video and provided me some feedback. He commented “I appreciate the points you make in relation to your negative self-image and your fear of criticism but the irony is that you actually have an exceptionally nice speaking voice (which I hope you now fully realise). Richard then went on to say, “Your stutter is really easy to listen to and constitutes, what I would term, ‘an attractive stutter’.”

Wow – an attractive stutter!! I said it to myself a couple of times, in disbelief. What an incredible boost to my ego, to my self-image, to the overall blah day I had today. No one has ever said that to me, and I can’t tell you how meaningful those two little words were. (Not that everything he said wasn’t meaningful, but the word attractive used with stutter in the same sentence – that floored me).

I have never heard stuttering described like that. I have always thought of my stuttering as negative, something I wished I didn’t have, something I wished would go away. I spent years trying to hide it, deny it, ignore it, or disguise it. I never thought I would come to terms with stuttering and actually find some peace with it, and make room for it.

And then Richard comes along and tells me that I have an attractive stutter.

Never under-estimate the power your words can have on another person. Richard’s words will stay with me for a long time. The next time I find myself giving in to negative self-talk or being too hard on myself, I will remember. And let it in again and again, and summon the courage to always be honest with someone else and say what I feel. You never know who you will impact or how powerful your words can be.

(I am trusting that Richard will not take offense to my quoting him – I did not divulge his last name, although I should and let everyone know how terrific he really is.)

1 Response to "An Attractive Stutter"

Really cool Pam! You do have a way with words 🙂

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© Pamela A Mertz and Make Room For The Stuttering, 2009 - 2022. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Pamela A Mertz and Make Room For The Stuttering with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. Same protection applies to the podcasts linked to this blog, "Women Who Stutter: Our Stories" and "He Stutters: She Asks Him." Please give credit to owner/author Pamela A Mertz 2022.
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