A friend and I watched the tail-end of a show on the Game Show Channel called “Baggage”  recently. It is supposedly a modern dating game. Jerry Springer facilitates a match between a person looking for a date and three potential partners. The idea is that you know what you are getting before you start a relationship and can “opt out”.

This video clip depicts Jerry Springer discussing the premise of the show. He mentions that everyone “has issues”.

Each of the three potential partners has three suitcases, each case denoting a fact or tidbit that might make one think twice about getting involved. The larger the suitcase, the bigger the baggage.

It’s one of those shows that is entertaining to watch. You find yourself wondering, “how would I handle that?”  When you see a “normal” guy or woman being the one seeking a date this way, you just have to wonder what they are hiding too. Notice my use of  “normal”  – I am not sure there is such thing as normal!

It turns out the “seeker” does have his or her own suitcase of baggage. Once the seeker has settled on the person with the least amount of baggage, the “chosen one” then has the chance to discover what baggage the seeker has tucked away in their big bag. This reverse baggage might be a “deal-breaker” too.

My friend and I talked about it – he had really only seen the show twice, both times while hanging out with me. I asked him what kind of baggage he might have hidden in his suitcases. His immediate response was,  “Stuttering – absolutely, that’s my baggage. Stuttering is a friend that has to go away. I hate it – of course my baggage is the stuttering”.

Honestly, I was surprised to hear my friend refer to his stuttering like this, as something that if found out, it might be a deal-breaker in a potential relationship. He seemed so sure his stuttering was this “dirty little secret” that if someone found out about it, they might opt out of a relationship with him. Be it a friendship or beyond.

Why was I so surprised? Because I stutter too, and I don’t see someone else’s stuttering as baggage. When I look at my friend, I see confidence, personality, playfulness, just HIM. Stuttering is not even part of the equation. I don’t see it.

I don’t see my stuttering as baggage either. I see the sometimes negative FEELINGS I have about stuttering as excess baggage. The embarrassment and shame that can creep in can be baggage that I wouldn’t want anyone else to have to carry.

Mainly that’s because I project (at least I think I do) an image of confidence and being happy with self. I don’t usually let my vulnerability be easily seen. Maybe that’s one of my issues. And my friends’. Being vulnerable. Being exposed. Not the stuttering . . . . . but the vulnerability.

What do you think? Would stuttering be one of the “issues” in your suitcase that you call “baggage”?