Make Room For The Stuttering

Making Room for the Stuttering

Posted on: February 16, 2009

Sometimes when you least expect it, someone will say something about your stuttering that has a real impact. And it can have the most impact when it comes from someone who doesn’t stutter.

I had a conversation with a very good friend, someone with whom I feel very comfortable sharing the “real me” and don’t hold anything back. We were talking about communication and I was sharing with him about a big presentation that I have coming up.

He asked me if I set “being fluent” as one of my goals when I speak. I told him. “No, I set out to communicate effectively. ” He went on to say that he really respects the fact that I speak openly with him, and stutter comfortably with him, with no shame.

That really struck me, that one, I do that, and two, that he felt comfortable enough with me to say that. But then he said something that really made an impact. He said, “You make room for the stuttering”. I asked him what he meant, and he went on to say that when I speak, “your stuttering is framed by so much else more, that your whole package is smooth and easy. I don’t hear you stutter, although its there—what I hear is your message”.

I felt so good after that discussion, and proud that we are comfortable enough with each other that we can honestly discuss stuff like this. I asked my friend another question: “What does my stuttering sound like to you?” And he responded that he doesn’t know—he can’t really answer that, as he hears me, not my stuttering.

This conversation between friends really spoke to me. Its not about being fluent, its not about stuttering, its about being a good communicator and being honest with yourself and the people you care about. Its about the “A” word.Being authentic with who you are allows for the authentic relationships with others in your life.

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2 Responses to "Making Room for the Stuttering"

Great post, great friend who should be cherished.

When we spoke the other night, I heard your stuttering, but it did not detract from your message. I totally enjoyed the experience.

Thanks Annetta! Our interview will be posted next week. It sounds great!

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© Pamela A Mertz and Make Room For The Stuttering, 2009 - 2017. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Pamela A Mertz and Make Room For The Stuttering with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. Same protection applies to the podcasts linked to this blog, "Women Who Stutter: Our Stories" and "He Stutters: She Asks Him." Please give credit to owner/author Pamela A Mertz 2017.