Make Room For The Stuttering

Giving Ourselves Permission

Posted on: November 23, 2009

I had a very moving experience last week with one of the SLP students I have worked with over the last several months. She had the courage to confront me on why I was so resistant to speech tools that might be helpful in tense stuttering moments. I have been working so much on acceptance and letting my stuttering out. I worry that if I use speech tools, they might make me covert again. I really do think that fluency shaping techniques cover up the stuttering and that conflicts right now with my desire to be true to my stuttering self.  I don’t want to be held hostage to covert behaviors anymore. So I was unwilling to let any ideas in about possible strategies that I might choose to use sometimes when I am really stuck in a good block.

The student said something very simple: “Pam, at some point in our life, we all have to realize we are changing and we must allow our self to do that. ” She then asked me to read a book that her Aunt had shared with her about the change process, and how we need to give ourselves permission to change, and also allow ourselves to stay open to change.

Well, I took the book and read and finished it as soon as I got home that night from our meeting. I also read several parts of the book over and over again. I decided to make a quick video to talk about how this affected me, and how much I appreciated someone being genuine enough to confront me about such a tough issue. Change is a process and we have to be open to it all throughout our lives. It is what helps us become who we will Be.

What do you think? Why is change so hard? Are some things harder for us to change than others?

 

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4 Responses to "Giving Ourselves Permission"

I think this is a wonderful topic. We should co-write a book on this or do a presentation. I would love it!!! I think change is hard and I think you have to praise yourself for little baby steps. Your grad clinician was very wise to bring this up. I think it takes faith in ourselves and courage. I found peace when I not only accepted my stuttering but learned how to be more fluent. Is the book good? Great post and thanks for sharing.

That would be awesome. Change is a difficult process for everyone, not just people who stutter. Its amazing how many battered spouses stay put because the change is scarier than the abuse. I think the change process would make a great presentation, as we all go about it differently, and many of us resist it to the bitter end, even when its crystal clear that change must occur. One of my favorite books on the topic of change is “Who Moved My Cheese?” by Spencer Johnson. There is also a version for teens that I have used in groups and school settings. Everyone needs to acknowledge change in our lives and recognize that it is OK to feel frightened, but it is still usually worth the risk.

Nice Post Pam…Very thought provoking.

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© Pamela A Mertz and Make Room For The Stuttering, 2009 - 2017. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Pamela A Mertz and Make Room For The Stuttering with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. Same protection applies to the podcasts linked to this blog, "Women Who Stutter: Our Stories" and "He Stutters: She Asks Him." Please give credit to owner/author Pamela A Mertz 2017.