It’s Not Magic!
Posted on: October 21, 2009
- In: Posts
- 12 Comments
Every Monday night I go to a group for adults who stutter, which is then followed by therapy provided by graduate student clinicians. I came to the college early Monday because I had been asked to speak to one of the Fluency classes about my experiences with stuttering. I always enjoy doing that and think its a mutual learning process.
After speaking to the class, we had an hour until the adult group started. I had brought a book with me and planned to snatch some reading time for a few minutes. But something better happened.
A couple of people who had been in the Fluency class came over and sat with me. One guy, Brandon, had also talked with the class and shared his stuttering story. He always prepares so well and takes the opportunity so seriously. He and I started talking a bit about what we shared and why we feel it is so important to do so.
We then started talking about feelings and challenges that we still find ourselves faced with. Brandon said he likes to listen to how I describe my stuttering. He said the feelings are always so genuine and he appreciates hearing the realness. I said something like, “well, sure I’m real, there’s no other way to be, right?’ Brandon went on to say: “Pam, it’s really special how you describe your experiences. With all the stuff that you do, reaching out, putting stuttering out there, volunteering, I always thought you went from point A one day to being totally OK with stuttering the next day. Like it was an overnight process. It’s good for me to hear that it wasn’t like that, that you still deal with ‘the stuff’ too. It reinforces that there’s no magic involved, that its hard work, and that it takes time. It’s a process. It’s just so good for me to hear that you go through ‘the stuff’ too. Its inspiring!”
I just looked at Brandon and thanked him. At first, I was kind of embarrassed, but then I felt really good that he shared that with me. It’s not magic. This journey sure is hard work. We have our ups and downs. Sometimes, it seems like we have more downs than up. But the journey is infinitely easier when we can share it with each other.
Thanks Brandon! It feels special when someone chooses to share something this honest.
What about you? Is it easier for you to share this journey with someone else? Does it have to be another person who stutters?
12 Responses to "It’s Not Magic!"
October 22, 2009 at 4:22 PM
As I mentioned several times, U r a source of Inspiration to many ppl out there!!! Rock On!!!
🙂
October 24, 2009 at 6:47 AM
I know you were skeptical going back this year Pam, but I’m SO glad you did. You have come such a long way the past 3 years, and I admire you every day for that. But it’s like you say, an ongoing process that will probably never be 100% completed. And that’s why it’s so important to share, and to have ppl around you that you can share with, who get it. You are one of those people to others Pam. Keep doing what you’re doing, you’re amazing at it! Love you sweetie! Hugs 😀
October 24, 2009 at 9:48 PM
I always think if i open up to someone who does not stutter they would not understand and would probably judge me so I dont open up at all. I do not know of many persons around who stutter so I do not have the chance to talk to anyone who stutter. Needless to say, I feel lonely and hopeless sometimes.
I remember when I did speech therapy in 1993, I told my mother-in-law that I am glad I started the therapy so I can feel like a normal person. Her response was, ‘so you are not normal?’
I wanted so much to tell her that I did not feel normal because of my stuttering, but I just did not prolong the conversation, because I felt she really did not understand.
October 25, 2009 at 6:11 AM
Hi Neil!
Any chance you have skype, or a twitter account? Cause we’re a lot of ppl chatting on there now. And there is a lot of support to get and give on there. We’re here if you want 🙂
October 25, 2009 at 3:41 PM
Not sure if this is Neil or Annetta. None of us has to feel lonley or hopeless with our stuttering. It may seem like we are the only ones, if we choose to stay isolated.
Technology has allowed us to be globally connected – at the drop of a hat. Skype, instant messaging, facebook.
As Tone says, there is a lot of us, all waiting to make you feel wonderful.
Make Room For The Stuttering 
October 21, 2009 at 11:35 PM
I say no it doesn’t have to be a pws. The first time I sat down with someone and talked about stuttering (a few months ago) was with one of my college professors. I had just come to the realization that I am going to stutter the rest of my life. For the longest time I thought I could become fluent because I didn’t start to stutter until age 12. After coming to that realization in May, a few weeks later I decided I had to talk to someone face to face about this becuse I couldn’t keep my feelings bottled up anymore. Oh, and I was terrified of starting student teaching in a few months too. I went to this particular professor because he never finishes my sentences, has really good eye contact (even when I have a hard block) and his facial expression is very relaxed, and becuase of all of that I feel comfortable stuttering in front of him. I am amazed that he does this because I never told him to do any of that. He just knows. Anyway, I talked to him for an hour in his office, and afterwards it felt like I could finally breathe. It felt like a huge weight had been lifted from me, and all I could do on the drive home was smile.
Sorry for such a long post.
Sarah Bryant
October 23, 2009 at 11:16 PM
that’s wonderful! yeah, I really need to start telling my teachers, they probably think i am just this shy thing that doesn’t want to talk:0
Bethany Laranjo ( twitter: @7thheavenfan)
October 23, 2009 at 11:35 PM
It will probably make you feel really good if you can start doing that. The more open you are with your stuttering, the easier it gets.
October 23, 2009 at 11:33 PM
Not a “long” post, Sarah, an honest one! It must have felt great going to your professor.
And now you have some student teaching under your belt, and you have survived. Keep up the wonderful work!
You are going places!
October 25, 2009 at 2:28 PM
Yes you are SO right! It felt absolutely wonderful! I am now halfway through student teaching.
In fact, I told this professor about the ti-ger website and his response to it was “What an awesome website! This is how it should be rather than having ‘experts’ try to change you.”
October 24, 2009 at 6:42 AM
I know I’ve told you this before Sarah, but I’m so glad you went to talk to your prof!
I didn’t know you didn’t start stuttering until you were 12. Look forward to chatting soon. I wanna hear more about your student teahing and how everything is going with you 🙂
October 25, 2009 at 2:33 PM
Thank you Tone! That truly means a lot! Yep, I’ve been stuttering for half of my life. I asked my parents if they remember me when I was fluent and they say no, and I thought that was very interesting. I also do not remember when I was fluent, so even though I have not stuttered my entire life I feel like I have.