Make Room For The Stuttering


Posted on: April 12, 2009

Yesterday was a very good day.

I visited with a friend who just had a baby girl. Her toddler son was paying lots of attention to me, as he is clearly rebelling against his new status of not being the baby anymore. He kept yelling for me, happily shouting, “Ham, Ham, over here”. He couldn’t quite get “Pam” out, but I was happy to be called “Ham”. There is something magical about being the center of attention of a child’s world, even if only for a few minutes.

We played some ball toss, and I helped him put keys from a keyboard back together. For some reason, he was more interested in putting them down my shirt. I will remember yesterday.

I also got my hair cut yesterday. I let my stylist do something a little different, a little funkier than I am used to. She gave me two choices: we can go boring, or we can try a little something new. What would you have done? I wasn’t going to admit I actually prefer boring – its easier to do. This new funkier style requires effort. I always obsess if I am going to be able to “do” my hair the same great way it looks when I am in the chair.

Yesterday was also different than the day before as far as my stuttering. I recently heard a woman talk about where she is at with her stuttering journey, and she mentioned how each day is so different than the last. As I listened to her, I was saying, “Yeah, me too. No two days are ever the same”. Yesterday is different from the day before and today and tomorrow.

Yesterday was a fairly smooth day. I talked about stuttering, but only had a few stuttering moments. I mentioned last night (yesterday) that I want to clean up the storage bin, where I dumped a lot of my stuff after being fired that day, almost three years ago. When I said that, my partner commented that he can’t believe that he didn’t know I stuttered until I was fired that day. He said he didn’t know that someone could hide it so well. I had done a good job.

That was yesterday in my life too. When I was afraid to talk about stuttering. Today and tomorrow is so much more exciting, as this relationship with my stuttering continues to develop and strengthen.

Yesterday was a very good day.

2 Responses to "Yesterday"

I love how much over the relatively short time I’ve gotten to know you that you’ve grown. I love how your willing to talk about your stuttering now. You are certainly in a different place than you were a few years ago.
I love the idea of being willing- it is being and doing from a place of openness, where you embrace and work with the universe instead of fighting it. I think that since you have taken great leaps into willingness, that you have opened the doors to possibility, truth and embracing all that life has to offer 🙂

And you helped me move from “want to” to “willing”. I hope I can help someone else get there too.

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© Pamela A Mertz and Make Room For The Stuttering, 2009 - 2022. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Pamela A Mertz and Make Room For The Stuttering with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. Same protection applies to the podcasts linked to this blog, "Women Who Stutter: Our Stories" and "He Stutters: She Asks Him." Please give credit to owner/author Pamela A Mertz 2022.
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